"disappears" poems
You will never know
The peace of acceptance
Once you are finished
Put to earth
Life was harsher than the dirt
Parents made you feel worthless
Cause you wanted to wear a short dress
Because you felt different
Cut off
Disowned
Disavowed
One friend after another disappears
And no one hears
The sobs
No one feels the salty tears
No one holds your hands
Or offers you a hug
You were ******
By the those who demand
You conform
Where there was no warmth
The clock cuts you bitterly
Condemning you to be lonely
And I cry all the more
Knowing you won’t be the only one
Not the only daughter wanting to be a son
Not the only male that wants to be female
Not the only soft face harden
Or hard face softened till the sorrow overflows
Till everyone you know closes the door
And you disappear forever more
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 7:05 AM UTC
Thinking of you,
wishing you were here
reminiscing about your lips
the sweet scent of your hair
our tongues touching
my mouth, breathing in your air
our bodies so close;
temperatures so hot, we melt the air
as our flesh mesh
distance disappears
I can feel your heartbeat,
the feeling insane,
two bodies becoming one
as you take me in vein
Your body paralyzed by my tremors
I whisper your name
you pulling me in closer
deeply impaled by my frame
your pleasure is mine
its ours all the same
two soulmates
together we remain.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 12:24 AM UTC
What they don’t tell you in school,
while you’re trying to remember
the difference between prophase and metaphase
chromosomes and chromatin
is that really
biology isn’t science
biology is life
See, divorce
divorce is like mitosis
slow to start, but quick to finish
Begins at prophase
when conflicts arise as your family’s nucleolus,
your family’s unity
disappears
Your carefree life, your chromatin,
coil and change
become tight, tense chromosomes
Outside forces, mitotic spindles,
residing in the cytoplasm
start creeping towards your parents
to separate their souls
Metaphase:
you’re all lined up
single file
ready for battle
Centrosomes, middles of each new life,
poised opposing each other
with their spindles latched onto you kinetochore, your middle,
like a dog with it’s leash
Anaphase:
everything separates,
your world’s torn apart
and you’re left silently
watching
alone
as your sister is torn from your life
Telophase:
the pain starts to lessen
as you uncoil
and your broken family’s nuclear membrane
begins to reform
Once the paper’s are signed
once the cell’s wall’s rebuilt
your old life is over
and the process
it’s finished
See, they don’t tell you
don’t think you need to know
that
divorce is simply biology
and
mitosis
well, it’s life
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
"Trust, is really weird.
if one mistreats him, he disappears for a while.
maybe longer.
but he will come back.
it's like Trust is trying to exact revenge -
by coming back to you
and hurting you all over again. "
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014 at 4:37 AM UTC
*
*After planting a kiss on Krishna's lips
Radha slowly whispers
"Where is the playground
We will go and play?"
And Krishna replies
"YOU've already started
Playing on it now!"
Radha moves a step back
In the darkness of the night
Krishna:
"Where are you going?"
Radha runs a few steps away
Krishna:
"Do not go away my Radha
Stay with me for some more time
Let us play at least one game
The game you started on my lips"
Radha smiles and disappears
In the darkness of the night
Krishna:
"Where are you hiding now?
What is the hurry
To run away from me?
Wait for another hour..!
Be with me, my BELOVEDz..."
Krishna:
(singing)
"We did not even start
Playing the game of LOVE
We did not even
Explore each other
We did not even
Hide within each other
We did not even
Look into each other's eyes
My heart is thirsty of YOU
I felt your heart on my chest -
And I heard it beating so fast
The game of LOVE has just begun
Do not go away from me
Stay back with me tonight..
Just for one night - my BELOVEDz!"
Radha:
(sings back)
"I will stay back
If you promise me that
YOU will rain your LOVE
For the whole night
Within my ocean
You will strike lightning
Within my abyss
Please promise me that you will
wander over me,
And wonder over me
For the rest of the night"
The birds of the forest sing in a chorus:
"Even though it is night, we birds are awake
We will ask fireflies to light up the sky
We will build a house of
Branches and vines for both of you
We will tie you up in the spider's web
And we will play music of
LOVE for the whole night"
The animals of the forest join the chorus too:
"We have build a swing for such a day like this
YOU two LOVERz can come
And swing the whole night
While sleeping together on this cradle"
Radha:
(peeps out from behind a tree)
"While I am wearing my Krishna
Like a cloth on me
What if we are caught by the world?"
Krishna:
"I will hide you within me
So no one will see YOU separate from me"
Radha:
"Okay, if you say so
I will run and come right away
In your embrace and hugs"
Krishna:
"Oh Radha, be fast -
Surrender your LOVE to me
And sweeten my milk
with your honey.."
Radha: (hesitates)
"Please have some patience for a while
Why are you in so much hurry
To LOVE me - my LOVERz?"
Krishna:
"I promise on the billion stars of the dark night
I promise on every grass & leaves of this forest
If you promise to come to me once
I will LOVE you for a thousand lives"
Radha:
"I am mesmerized by your LOVE deeds
But I won't tell you how I feel"
Krishna:
"I know how you feel -
It must be the same as I feel
Such a salty and sweet feeling
Within the core of our hearts"
Radha-Krishna:
(sing together)
"And we have lost control
On our own heart in LOVE
Tonight we are filled with divine LOVE
That we pour out on each other
Let our touch ooze
LOVE fragrance on entire forest
Let us not utter a single more word now
Let our being & body play its parts
Let us listen our silences & sounds
And enjoy the deep cravings
Of our LOVE-NIGHT"*
*
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 28, 2019 at 11:58 PM UTC
Isn’t physically quick or agile.
Disappears in libraries.
Has been known to dissolve into the physical pages of books.
Is good at tucking herself into the stacks and retreating to reading nooks.
Blends in at coffee shops where her voice can be drowned out by the grinding and the steaming.
Can become indistinguishable in the dark of theatres, in the quiet shuffle of art galleries, the finger-snapping of poetry readings, the hum and jostle of the Tube.
Is indistinct. Adept at hiding in plain sight.
Aug 5, 2015
Aug 5, 2015 at 9:05 PM UTC
tonight the shadows ate the moon
i sat there in awe as it was slowly consumed
little by little the brightness was devoured
and behind the shadows, the moon never cowered
the blood moon shined
as the sun and moon aligned
and the moonlight becomes you
you too are consumed
eyes bright and full of wonder
the cold wind makes you shudder
make a wish as the last sliver disappears .
let the music of the night fill your ears
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
same setting from a year ago...
i am not sure why, but
before the clock strikes twelve midnight,
my eyes would surely open
no matter what.
coffee in bed right now,
with a few cookies to munch....
my bifocals, where are they?
i need them now...i could vaguely see
something crawls on the carpet,
making rounds, circling my bed...
oh, no, it is hopping towards my comforter...
I stretch a leg beneath the pillows
something moves very near my toes.
i withdraw my leg, alarmed,
as it quickly disappears...
...then reappears! now stationary...
this is starting to annoy me...
I poke it with a pencil,
fear no longer present,
now, with my bifocals found.
but it hops.....and hops...
and hops into hiding
down.....down.....below,
somewhere inside my comforter.
In lieu of me, it is now the comforted.
it is taking too long to come out.
.....something i realized just now.....
could it be possible, could it remember...
i was kind enough not to use a swatter before....
why, i feel like i am being welcomed!
we are playing hide-and-seek,
a welcome dance it is!
here and now, just like before
from last autumn,
we are finally reunited,
my cricket friend and i....
S a l l y
Copyright 2013
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 1:03 AM UTC
This thing I thought I could grasp,
Desperately I try to hold on to it,
This thing I never had,
I knew this illusion wouldn’t last,
It disappears as soon as we reach for it,
It’s as thin as the mountain air,
For a moment we lie to ourselves,
placing it securely and safely on a shelf.
Even though it is a forced perception, A contrived illusion.
Once we leave the room...
As soon as we lock and bolt the door...
we wont see it anymore.
We never realize the freedom there is in letting go,
We would be happier admitting this concept is completely fictitious.
We could break this circular pattern, this cycle so vicious.
I've spent too much time trying to hold it in my hands,
Making myself the victim of my own laid out plans.
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 6:48 PM UTC
It ripples out,
So prominent at first,
And the disappears,
Like everything else.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
To its mistresses wish, the blade dances through till she has been pleased, leaving a mess by engraving the scars of death as a mark, Alike a shadow she does not crack, cavorting a masacre of cruelty,
Berserking she follows the orders, shedding blood in fountains of death and misery without chance for this rage to stop without order,
Emotionless, cold, time is for her to stop moving when her ****** devotion consumes her entirely, swaying in the dark, destroying,
Tortured with true or false everyone disappears, time flows again,
A phantom glides over the sea of blood, in a mist, scarlet red,
Observing this would cause a riot of emotions to rage in pure fury,
Her name already burnt away, as a new one was given to her after this rumpus had found its peak, leaving the mistress in bliss, joy,
Watching their attemps to flee as they reach their dying moments,
Until those who get to close have perished, nobody and nothing left,
Cricling karma surely will catch them, after this sacrifice is done,
Warm blood melts the left over snow, laughter echos and reverbrates through the unending seeming night, bells ring, it is only midnight.
In the end her loyalty and efforts, her energy and love for her mistress
Are but a ****** devotion
~ Umi
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 16, 2018 at 7:33 PM UTC
Seeing my glass reflection
Everything goes into retrospect
And the day goes black with haze
As the weight of my thoughts sink
Everything disappears
Goes up ablaze
As brain alteration happens in a blink
While watching it burn with infatuation
It's like I'm stuck here
In this odd imagination
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 4:41 PM UTC
I walked past old, dead, trees
And into an old, abandoned park
I glanced at the huge, old tree
At the decayed bark
I returned my eyes to the playground
Then checked my watch
Five minutes till midnight
Then they will begin their march
I sat on an old, broken swing
Staring into the dark
Then there was that familiar ring
That rung throughout the park
I hid under the slide
So I couldn't be taken
Then they left
Leaving me to play
Momma would worry about my land of play
But I ignored that
Crawled out into the night
I sat on my swing
Looking in the dark
My midnight playground
Isn't as magical as it seems
A horrifying destination
That clouds my dreams
But I am cursed to forever find myself here
At the twelve hour
Terrifyingly dangerous
I forever walk alone
To my midnight playground
Since the age of three
Now I am thirteen
The monsters roam freely
I only depend on me
I can not leave this cursed place
Until the next night
But remains night as the moon holds still
I was forced to remove people by ****
But that was ten years ago
I do it on my own
This place disappears when I escape
It holds the remains of the bodies
Just to haunt my soul
I get called by its whispers
Telling me to follow
Then I find myself approaching
It's gate of the marrow
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 4:46 PM UTC
I play,
And my world disappears
My surroundings fade
Until there is nothing but my piano
Perfectly echoing my voice without words
I play,
I play to the beat of my heart
Letting it direct me
Letting the music flow through my blood
And through every vain in my body
Until every inch of my body is aching to hear the music
Making me feel alive
Like nothing else can
I play
Because the piano calls me
And we become one
With some broken keys here and there
That produces the perfect imperfect sound
With every key hit and a piano string pulled,
My heartstrings get played in harmony
I play
And the sound engulfs my world
Note by note
Measure by measure
Piece by piece
I play
On a broken piano
But I have never felt so whole
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 10:56 AM UTC
The smoke traveled through my throat all the way to my lungs.
With cloudy thoughts and smelly clothes
I sat on the back row.
Teachers and classmates wonder alike.
I wish I could push the smell inside my Hello Kitty backpack
But I cannot, so instead, I pull myself aside.
I keep telling mommy to quit.
But does she listen? I wish she did.
A couple of years later I discovered a marvelous thing!
Although I had promised myself I would never touch a cigarette, I do.
It happened in the backyard where my volleyball fell.
I simply bent down and picked up a cigarette **** instead.
The skinny, now small cigarette- still blushing with mom’s lipstick.
I put it in my mouth, automatically.
Just how I’ve seen her do it millions of times.
I inhale and exhale my worries away and become my mom.
Next thing I know, the stench disappears
and it’s me who blows little puffy clouds
into my daughter’s mouth and lungs.
I pass the sickness on.
Later on we go visit Doctor Nguyen.
As we step inside, I can smell the infected air of the hospital’s hall.
And I know.
I know what the doctor will say.
While I see myself on my daughter’s head
I can hardly breathe.
I am choking with the smell of smoke,
The smell of sadness,
The smell of tears and of cancer.
May 12, 2013
May 12, 2013 at 1:16 AM UTC
In this life you will find
Degradation unavoidable
For it is in the weather of our life
Degradation is like radioactive waste
We pass like presents to each other
The rain on a wedding day
As I did once live
In the shadows of dread
As degradation breathed on me
And I fell into the pits of self doubt
And stank of slimy sewers
For I was lost in loathing ,
But my soul grew rapidly
In the muck and mud of this world
For it was fertile and rich
As my roots drank up all its goodness
So please send me your degradation
Your disrespect and contempt
Your pretty wrapping of best interests
Makes no fool of me
For I will soak it up like the sky above
For I embrace my madness
And caress her beauty
Like the most cherished lover
As you reject your life
Within the tight confines
Of your own reason
As you seek to bury your
Disappointments in me
I hold your self doubt in my hands
For you live by scales and ranking
As I throw away all scales
And burn all efforts
For there is nothing
I can take from this world
So please, please
Strain if you must
Look down on me
If you can, As I am above
For I own the sky
And live above and beyond
But all degradation disappears
In the softest heart
Of self acceptance
As I fill the room
All banter falls like the softest snow
As we serenely dance and play
In our snowball games
As I learn to swing and play
All jokes bounce and tickle
The inside of my belly
For I live in the ecstasy
Of my own self acceptance
As we roll around like clowns
All barriers broken
Our bellies full of joy
As we spill over with love
And bounce around like jelly
For no degradation exists
In the center of our hearts
Where God permeates our souls
For his love should be
Followed into us whole
As I accept God's goodness
And perfection in all of me
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 6:06 AM UTC
everything seem to be damp, wet and cold
there are many young faces in the crowd
but everybody appears to be old.
the clowns are tumbling and the children play
yet nobody seem to have any kind of clues as
to what the faces of clocks may say.
leaves have fallen covering the ground in gold
even birds have become extra silent listening
for signs of winter and it's bitter cold.
everything disappears by the ends of each day
because darkness changes everything as time
slowly slips away.
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 12:40 AM UTC
They not understanding, I see glimpses of death.
I keep telling y'all I'm not right, but i guess y'all are deaf.
My last straw been plucked, holding to sanity by a stitch.
Im on my last leg, but i feel I'm 'bout to slip.
Body bags and blood splatters, those pictures flash in when i blink.
I'm laughing at the pain i feel until i can't think.
From the outside I'm ok, on the instide I'm wrecked.
I'm like building with bad foundation, i need to be checked.
I feel that point is coming, when the me y'all know disappears.
When my heart and soul welcomes the darkness, the hate, my fears.
When nothing will reach me, when I'll forget the word calm.
When my last tick, ticks and i explode like a bomb.
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 4:19 PM UTC
Fear, Is a battle.
Fear is a Disease.
My disease.
Fear, puts me in places,
That I know I shouldn't be in.
Like I woke up in a dark attic, not knowing how I got there, or why.
See, it's not...things...I'm afraid of.
It's not people, or pain, or injury, or death.
Fear puts thoughts in you, that are totally and completely out of character, until they begin changing how you define yourself.
I am,
The fearful.
I am,
The untrusting.
Trust and fear come hand in hand, but purvey the opposite effects of one another.
Trust, puts fear to sleep. A silent, peaceful slumber. A place fear would rather be anyway. Trust allows you to see what is hopefully the truth in others.
Ah...you see. "Hopefully." There is that little seed of doubt.
Fear is the abusive sibling of the relationship. Always hanging over trust's shoulder, whispering worst-case scenarios in his ear.
In mine, it takes trust's confidence and gently, throws it into the nearest garbage can.
Trust is powerful.
But fear cuts deep.
When trust, faith, in someone is broken...
Well...we've all been there at some point.
When trust is broken, he half-heartedly stumbles to his bed, and stays there. Not asleep. Just, broken.
At this point fear doesn't have to do a thing.
Anytime you look inside yourself, since trust is gone, the only thing left is fear, just...sitting there.
Normally trust...gets up and brushes himself off to try again, especially with the help of friends.
But, in a few of us...
In a few of us, trust falls asleep, and disappears.
Hope, the half-sibling tries and tries to wake him up, to no avail.
Trust is gone.
Fear just sits there. Doing nothing, but doing everything.
Hope is a stubborn one, and pushes, and pushes, and pushes.
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes, it doesn't.
Fear. Trust.
They walk, hand in hand.
Toe, to toe.
I am,
The fearful.
I am,
The untrusting.
Hope, through valiant effort, keeps on trying.
Her energy is not limitless.
At times like these...
Hope, is not enough.
Trust has died.
The only way, to restore the balance,
Is for another's heart to come forth, and share their trust.
It's not fair, asking your trust to keep my fear in check, as well as yours, It just isn't.
At times like these,
I need the trust of someone,
Who is willing to share,
With one, who trusts no one.
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 8:44 PM UTC
A wildflower.
Rejected and ignored by the world.
I spread no fragrance, I spread no love.
I want no one, I have no one.
My life is like of a wildflower.
Nobody cares, nobody loves.
Nobody sees the thorns pricking me, nobody feels the coldness freezing me.
Just a ray of light touches my pale skin when the dew falls, and suddenly disappears when the tall trees wakes.
I wish, I wish, I wish if one day I was blown away with the wind to a garden of wildflowers,
live a life where everybody sees each others' flaws, but breath the same air, nourished by the same soil and spread the love they never got.
Oh, to be in a garden of wildflowers, hidden from a bouquet of roses.
To fit just to keep her safe from not getting pricked by the thorns in the roses.
Everything that looks beautiful, smells pretty or makes u feel a rose,
ain't happiness.
'Cause no one knows what she has to go through just to get the love she has always wanted.
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 4:40 AM UTC
When things seem difficult miserable
Life is turning away from you
Intimidated and worn out you remain
In darkness at a corner you examine
Watching the sky as it disappears
Reminding the lost beloved ones
How beautiful and caring they were
Vanishing without saying goodbye
Shortening your long life span
And leaving you destitute and lonely
Deeply you wonder
How life can really be unfair
To honest and good people like you
But all you let go off
And focus to mend your life
And strengthen your heart
With good and caring friends on your side
Opening the picture of brightness
Knowing GOD holds your hand
Leading you to your success
Stars embracing the whole sky
And you know your journey has started
In pursuit of your purpose
Slowly matching from dusk to dawn
With smiles and determination
In whispers you read your heart
ALWAYS STAND STRONG
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014 at 1:25 PM UTC
Wrenches clanging, knuckles banging
A drop of blood
A new part here, and old part… there
A hotrod had been built!
A patchwork, mechanical, quilt
I drove past the banner that said “Welcome Race Fans”
Took a new route, behind the grandstands
And through my chipped window, I thought I could see
Some of the racers were laughing at me
I guess chalky grey primer is not to their taste
But I put my bucks mister in the right place
I chugged-popped past cars that dealers had sold
Swung into a spot, next to something old
Emerging with interest from under his hood
My neighbor said two words, he said “sounds good”
The voice on the loudspeaker tells us we’re up
Pre-staged, staged, then given the green
The line becomes blurred between man and machine
Bones become linkage
Muscle, spring
Fear, excitement
Time distorts ….
Color disappears …
Vision narrows…
Noise --- becomes music
Speed --- satisfaction
May 1, 2017
May 1, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
if the sun disappears
and the stars say farewell
would you be the only light
for those left to dwell?
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 8:19 AM UTC