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Veronica Jul 2016
Being molested as a child
Is something so digusting,
Knowing my mother knew
And told me never to say anything and kept herself quiet,
Makes me grow more anger against her
Makes me want to wish her the worst
Like i do for that molester,
Hate the fact that now that i had the courage of speaking up,
No one in my family had my back,
I feel so sad and alone,
Because i notice that the family i had
Was not a family at all,
I wish they were all in my shoes
And feel the way i do
See things through my eyes
And see the scars he left behind,
Wish they felt the way i do at times.
Where i feel my body disgusted
And cant be touched,
Wish they would go through what i go through
Where i cant let my partner love me
The way i wish i could be love,
When my partner touches me
I feel used
I get this ***** feeling
And start feeling blue.
It hurts me to know that once i told who i thought was my sister,
What her husband had done to me
Her response was "it is what it is."
From that moment on,
that sister died
And was erase from my life,
I hate anything that has to do with them
I cant even stand hearing their names,
Honestly i hope you guys the worst
And dont judge me for i am who i am thanks to this monsters that i had to be raised by
Im just glad i have part myself away,
Because i dont want my kids
to go through what i did.
I will always speak for them
For i dont want to be that monster
That never did anything.
I was molested when i was little like around 5 or 6 maybe even younger but my memory can only remember that far .. anyways i was molested and told my mom when i was young and again when i was 16 years old and she told me to stay quiet. I told her i was going to tell my dad and brother and she scared me off saying if i do they would go to jail because they would **** that pervert. She said i would come out on the news and no guy would want to be with me. Because i was molested. Now as an adult i had the courage of speaking she still tried to insist not to say anything but i told her she doesnt control me anymore i told her nothing is going to scare me and the whole family needed to know who this pervert really was. She now says she didnt say anything because i was 16 years old and i was old already. I honestly hope that lady who i called mom and that person i called sister and her nasty husband the worst and im glad she and the one who i thought was "my sister" is out of my life. I cant ever forgive them. That lady who i also consider My mom keeps being that evil person helping anyone that wants to hurt me.
Winona Forever Aug 2012
Mind,
stabbing at trauma,
so digusting.
But escape,
recognise the trauma of
the earth.
Given such devalued matter
to feed on
its whole existence,
yet
it always makes
something beautiful.
Blooming flowers,
lofty trees,
stormy mountains,
seven seas.
All the beauty in the world
created by
unappreciated benefactors.
Maybe
the repulsing brutes
that taunt me so
will grow into
*something beautiful.
Jason Leimer Sep 2010
The dog is left outside in a cage
Thats disgusting.
The cat is dead in a alley
Thats disgusting.
The government is ******* the people
Thats Digusting.
But you know whats disgusting,
Some people like it.
Jason Leimer Sep 2010
To me the Republicans ******* America,
corporate greed, taxes for the rich, and
cutting education are digusting. Republicans
also think gay marriage and social services
are sinful. Please they are not.

Oh how I wish we were more progressive in some areas
economics, increasing spending, accepting others and
increasing help to those in need would surely make
America a better place
according to you, love doesn’t like hot weather and
sweaty palms and cheap beer
it doesn’t hear any orchestras or go
to any movies and buy popcorn and soda
and defintely does not agree to
feed the birds at the park pieces of
a leftover subway sandwich

according to him, love does not fancy astrology or
icecream sandwiches and it never
gets it’s body wet ( let alone it’s hair)
in the swimming pool at a party
it was never invited to

according to the anonymous
love likes to sit
love likes to smoke
love likes to watch reruns of all
the television shows your mom had
a digusting addiction to


it loves boring routines;
the 9 to 5
and it doesn’t mind
being mentally drained
and unprepared for any
emotional stability

but according to me
love just likes to hide
in peoples clothes,
in lacy underwear and size 32 jeans

it likes pretending
it’s not there  and it enjoys
convincing you,
it is


not

but no matter what is said;
there is an undeniable
light in that room,
as he slides his body over
yours
weightlessly in
the dark and
it starts in your stomach—
escapes through your mouth
and it becomes the moon
above the both
of you

take my advice here—
always look for
it before
it notices you
doing so and
completely
disappears

because love isn’t
half as bad as
it’s been told to be

all you need to do
is learn to
cover your ears
Castiel Sep 2014
If your pain is so real
then what is mine?
Your demons are tangible
Your demons are the ones that
push the weaker kids into lockers
Your demons are the ones that
open your heart
only to raid it and leave it bleeding
My demons - my demons do not exist
in the face of yours
Mine are silent
(Except in my head)
My demons scream at me
They tell me about being too fat (or too skinny)
or too stupid (or too pretentious)
or being too much of a disappointment
Your demons prove that you are worth fighting over
Mine prove that there is nothing to fight for
If your pain is so real
then what is mine?

If your cuts are too shallow
then what are mine?
At least yours will fade in time
Mine are digusting
lingering
They remind me constantly of how I have failed
of how I will inevitably continue failing
My skin doesn't sting
(If I squeeze my eyelids hard enough)
You need yours to hurt more
To remind yourself what pain feels like
instead of numbness
I'm so much less romantic.
I need to remind myself what punishment feels like
I deserve to be punished
You do not deserve to be punished
You do not deserve your scars to be permanent
but I do
If your cuts are too shallow
then what are mine?

If you are human
then what am I?
Because if your mistakes are what count
then I have made enough to spare
And if it's your torment that decides it
send me a membership letter
At least tell me I'm something
Because what I have seen is not part of a competition
What I think
should not be compared with what you do
My impact
should not be compared with yours
Making a struggle into a prize
That makes me inhuman
So if it's pain that makes you real
then at least act like I have a ******* heart
And don't tell me that
I don't know what it's like.
If you are human
then what am I?
#fakingit

...did I mention I've been very depressed lately? because I have been.
A metamorphosis she wrote
a little death he hoped
a matter exchange
a frown in the window pane
among a weeping black sky
in the middle of the day time
alone

oh the box is your home
little one you know
ive tried to get you to move out
but my words feel on sour notes
comfort comfort
as you choke

its digusting its morose
its beautiful its enthralling
its the truth its a hoax
its ugly its withdrawing
into your shell your cocoon

though no butterfly promotes
only carcass as your womb
just a shy regret
entombs.
Gray Dawson Nov 2019
Watching you watch me is fascinating
I enjoy the feelings of your eyes on my skin
And your judgement on my mind


You hated me, now you are dating me
You were always so lame, now you’re just crazy
But I’m not running away


Take me away
Your vibes are killing me
And I’m enjoying that fun feeling


You called me digusting then you kissed me
Twofaced, in a beautiful way
I don’t mind being hated as long as it’s always you doing the hating


Your anger is dangerously intoxicating
Every flame is so warm and every tense moment so exciting
I never thought I’d fall for a killer like you, but look at me


Traveling a finger across your sharp edges
I’ve been getting shivers, and **** I’m quivering
You’re turning my universe inside out


Don’t worry now
That cut didn’t hurt me, nor those harsh words
It’s just a different kind of world than others
rook Nov 2014
i'm digusting
i'm aboslutely revolting, in person
i seem smart
i seem worthwhile
i seem many things
but the truth is i am none of them
i am a thought
an illusion
an idea
when you remember something from your childhood and go, "Oh, that was great!"
and then you actually experience it again and go "oh, it actually wasn't that great. Why did I think it was in the first place?"
Yeah. That's me.
Some people are better imagined; up close, you see them as they truly are.
Awful.
you were my hero
now you're the sight
at which i flinch

you tossed the match
that charred away
our bridge

ugly stupid fat
digusting pig
lying stealing *****

your words echoed in my mind
till i carved them
into my skin

are you happy now
that i've just decided 
to let you win

because with you
there is no such thing
as an argument 

only you screaming 
and "scaring" me
till i give in

since you had it
"so much worse"
my pain is null by your definition 

i'm just too weak
i'm the bane
of your existence 

sorry i was born
and ruined your life
by not keeping my heart hidden
eli Oct 2023
once again
i start to feel your
*****
hands
on my body

and

i feel

digusting.

— The End —