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JayceeJellies Apr 2015
What do you do when love dies?
What do you do when the glow in their eyes fades..
When you remember how love drunk you once were,
And hang your head down low in shame.
What are you supposed to do?
Do you tell them the truth,
Or stick around?
Do you share your smile a while longer,
Or express your deepest of frowns?
What if you still love them in a way,
But not in the way you once did.
How do you really know when it's over?
This is not a poem.
This is a rant.

I will put on my rage face,
And paint the town red,
And "just go crazy, man"
With the company of myself
In the comfort of my own home
Because I can tear my shirt,
Or draw a knife
Or shout shakespear off a balcony
And I openly scream at the shadows
Who answer politely with silence
I can behave badly
And if I am my only witness
I can sleep at night
Without the peace and solitude that comes from iron bars
And padded cells
I can fight with myself and indulge in the guilty pleasures
That make me feel sullied and stupid
I can argue with a hundred dream girls
And when I sleep,
They are still there in my dreams
There is no loss or losing
I can spend three hundred dollars
Monthly on alcohol
If it saves me three thousand
Monthly on sanity
I can look in the mirror and see a hundred different faces
Each more honest to its emotion than the last
I can bite my tongue to spite my face and
Laugh that it was my reflection that drove me to do so,
You never know what that ******* will say
When i am not looking
I dont spend the night on the town
Because I no longer need to surround myself with people.
I no longer need to go out to buy a hat
That suits me and makes me look interesting or meaningful
When I sit alone at the bar
I have no one to impress except myself
And myself already knows I am unimpressive.
There is no one to disappoint
And while this seems like a sad tale,
The truth is that it is the free-est I've ever felt.
In the sanctity of a space that is mine
Surrounded only by people I disagree with
My reflections
And shadows
And to be able to write this while wearing underpants.
Bukowski was right
God is dead
The last line is ironic. If you get it.
Chicken Jul 2018
Oh,

The sweetness of your face

Let me spare you the misery

I’m just a wounded animal

Let the stench from my sores

Be your victory.

Make a run for it now,
go quickly,
go

Quick march on the double

I’m still fighting, blow for blow.

Oh,

The sweetness of your face

Let me spare you the misery

I’m just a wounded animal

Let the stench from my sores

Be your victory.
‘My sweetheart keeps visitin me, and I’m down in the trenches, I don’t want er to get hurt and she’s more concerned about seein me, bringin me lumps of sugar, the stench of my rottin’ flesh ain’t even keepin’er away’
Francie Lynch May 15
When someone dies,
(Someone you know)
Is that one less annoyance,
A necessary replacement for a foursome,
A body pillow,
A pillow confidant,
A whining Bestie,
A conversational equal.
Is it someone you'd like to meet again, wherever,
Or someone you fear to meet again
(Knowing all is now known).
Was it an old school chum you recognize in a faded picture,
A near/far relative,
A faint acquaintance (that's sad...).
I read the obituaries daily,
Recognize many, but feel little.
But someone's someone passed this way,
And sometimes someone was mine,
Today.
A theme I can't seem to be rid of.
Jack Jenkins May 17
Yes, I lost her
But the pain I gained losing her
Was worth every second she was in my life
The broken heart in this chest
Holds the ghost of her tightly
And this heart
Remembers
All
//On her, love, and self//
Two years ago, on this day, I had a loaded shotgun in my lap ready to take my own life. I lost my best friend because of it. It's taken two years to even start to deal with that loss, but she would not want me to dwell on it. So I meet with her and talk to her memory everyday, like an old man who lost a wife of many years...
Q Apr 3
if love was recognized
for it's true, transcendental nature

if love was felt
in its deep, radiant vibrations

if love was seen
as its pure true self

if love was manifested
with all of ones righteous intentions


.



then we could say we were enlightened
no longer of this scattered, dysfunctional frequency
but of a higher vibration
grounded to the truth







s.q.





.
"If love was real, this
blue light would have two shadows
colliding to one "

#oldhaiku #inspiration
sunprincess Jul 2018
With every star that's served it's purpose
Shining in a constellation, shining bright,
Alas, then succumbing to a star's death,
An explosion of a blinding white light

Listen and hear a multitude of angels cries
And a trumpet blowing saying goodbye,
Throughout the long sad crimson night
For every star's special that's born and dies
Ken Pepiton Feb 3
Stupid question (what AI would star out s t u p i d?)

on the scale of stumbling over a marked stumblingstone

painted competition orange.

See, C. G. saw it this way,
men don't have ideas, ideas have men.

When the man with the hubris to try and lie
dies, his lie dies and rots to be re
covered for discovery when all the secrets are

dis covered under the sun where's no new thing,
not one.

in a man, this journey from concept to precept,
some steps take longer than others,

maybe a thousand rounds,
generations and generations and generations with

peacemakers squeezed into servant role
one wish genii suffering it to be so,

until the time appointed, or the
anointed app,
higher res translations figure an augmentatious
re
ference occurrent in sapience sapience with pre-

Gausian blur edges on all their own shadows of turning

---
do remember, we did imagine
veri f- were we magi?
we were, we were magi, I brought the frankincense.
I was seven, maybe six

We could do anything we put our mind to

if we got past the man in black
at the crossroad and
keep goin' west

this is the rest.
After alladat, there was this emergent story,

never told, but heard, of a wise man,
who saved a city and no one knew that same
wiseman's name. This is that game, that vocation,

Peacemaker. Ever last front
tier, at orchestra level,

too close to see the madding crowd
reach for guns,

this is crazy... we have nuclear weapons

obsolete nuclear weapons and some
****** fool would rather **** us all than
skip an upgrade cycle?

what? What if we all said,
sump'n like: I, individual me, I have no enemies,
so lovin'em ain't *****. My side won.

Bio war, fair. Like leaven shaken from re
jected dust, the fishermen's feet

stamped and let their peace be held,
suffer, carry your load, but

smarter, not harder.
Grace, for goodness sake, sake means

good will result from the doing by virtue
of giving an old tale of attitudes to be
having a listen...


I am a peace maker. I do this for the living.
I may die, now, with no fear,

once, before,
with no doubt, by virtue of a helmet I was given.

Now, double-minded, patient-balanced, light-burdened,
I run, or fly, with augmentations,

bended knee or wounded, why does that matter?
Mito-mom is not some relationship to others that you
take, by faith.
Science.
Know the story to tell the story,
no novices allowed to lie for innocense sake.

No story of warring ever ended happy, for all involved.

Salve for the scritchin' itches whicha
cain't seem t' be able
t' ignor,

raw rubbed flesh

Balm o'Gilead, by reason, for reason of reasonable
comparable qualia of ex

per i ence, one death trip, PIF. (Paid in Full)

Good new, right, right, right,

chirality is such a cool tool for all sorts of random
shithavanish as soon as you notice it, like

was that real? Hineni. Okeh. I knew.
The genius of peace.
The idea never dies, but some people never get it.
Good wins for ever, or we all die at the hand of an evil

so powerful that only indigestible bone level ideas
make it through the turbulence

at the final analy system re

proof. An imaginary pile of mystery woo woo
Plahnk splash

food for thought. Quantum mechanical possiblities
bubble from nowhere that ever was.

So free will is the best we could do. Be safe.
While titans are threating war all about me I peaced out, responsibly. Cohen snuck in a line.
Nyx Aug 2018

You told me
Take my hand
Close my eyes and jump
Taking a leap of pure faith
Landing with a gentle thump

You told me
I'll teach you how to fly
Soaring high above the clouds
Far away from this little town
To a place you can stand proud

You told me
I will love you forever
Building a life of just us two
A fabricated lie so sweet
But from the beginning I always knew

You told me
Trust in me
I would never betray you
Oh how I wish those words were true
I held such hope but you never seemed to come through

You told me
I will give you the world
Every single piece of you too
But clearly the world you speak of
Is a creation of pure taboo

You promised me
So very many things
But all I ever wanted
Was to spread my own wings

I wanted to fly
With you by my side
Just as you promised
But its okay that you lied

You gave me hope
Where all seemed dim
You were my light
No matter how grim

And so I told you
Goodbye my friend
Through a roaring storm
Casting away the skies
This is where our tragic love
Dies.
Chloe Hunt Aug 2016
How is what you did human
You Held me tight like we would never part
But then you act like you never touched my heart
You pulled my hair back and held my hand
Acting like we were always meant to be planned
I play the memories in my head
As I lie here feeling empty and dead
It was the kind of love that felt meant to be
The kind that was beautiful and made you clearly see
So how come one day it dies ?
You made me try and now you don't want to be tied
You can talk to other girls but I can't talk to other guys
How hypocritical
As this love dies
So now I start thinking about my size
Is it my stomach ?
Is it my thighs ?
I don't know
because I can't read anything through your eyes
I don't understand you
I don't understand guys
So now I keep wondering am I good enough
...while our love dies
Since our life and beauty dies as fast
as we watch others grow.
We can only pass traces of ourselves,
the pieces, splinters of love to the new.
These pieces will out live all
despite the wrongs of time.
Sara Kellie Oct 2018
One day you phone
all you'll hear, a dialling tone.
The next time you call
the battery is dead.
I'm unconscious,
a plastic bag on my head.

Oh I'm sorry, was it something I said?
but one more thing before I'm dead.
I'm thinking . . .
as I lie . . .
as I bleed . . .
"What size screwdriver do you need?"
Telephone call, overheard
Justin Aug 28
Must I answer your questions?
Can we sleep through the night?
We can count sheep
Or stars flying by.
Please, don't press me.
Tonight, let's stop thinking.
Let's stop asking, "why?"

Even though the night is dark
We can count on the morning
To bring us the Sun.
No need to rush its rising;
The day will come for everyone,
Like a thief in the night.
We should enjoy the starry tapestry.
Its peaceful shimmer that gives wonderful ataraxy
For the world passing by.

Let everything be done
With love;
Let the past be the past.
Forever is present;
A little piece in everyone.
Let go of the ending;
Nothing's meant to last.
Carmen Jane Apr 7
How deep can you love
As deep as a crater's lake,
As pure as a white dove,
Flying for humanity's sake?

How profound is your gaze,
As stars sending their lights,
In milliards of days,
Until reaches our sights?

How true are your words,
When you say you love her,
As the Spring’s songbirds
When they sing about her?

How deep can you feel
Her heart, when it cries?
Does your heart against her, steel?
That's when her love dies...
steel (one's) heart against (someone or something)
To stop or keep oneself from feeling kindness and compassion towards someone or something

*I'm learning idioms ;)
rofan Dec 2018
to write
to write words that were forever spoken
within
words that might leave
but never disappear
like a rose it lives, it dies
so it becomes part of a new life
today i might no longer speak
i might no longer hear
.
today i am only
and i am only me
alone in a part of something,
that is forever awaken
so the more i feel
the less i believe
.
like the sun
it gave light
to the moon to be bright
i want my words
the fingers that once wrote
it gave certainty
Infinity to my world
so sun,
i hope you never get enable
to make your light reach to every spot of the earth
not like my own words
that never reached
the only rose
that i wanted to reach.
Turoa Aug 21
We all die alone,
He said in passing
One and all
We all die alone
A simple fact
Death claims us all

Yes we all die
We also fail,
Stumble and fall
But if one is remembered,
Carried in heart
No matter how small
Who to say
Any of us
Ever
Really die at all
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
To all the goodbyes
I say goodnight
To everyone that dies
I hope it's bright

To everyone;
With a razor
Hand of pills
Tied rope
Dangling keys
Extreme height below
Finger over a light trigger
Electricity at hand
Open propane tank
Empty plate, with full glass

Stop, think about who you're leaving behind
I know my words aren't going to stop you, but just read
Did you bother to write and leave a note?
Is it worth it then?
Saying you're sorry, knowing you'll leave someone behind?
Stop. Think about why you're doing it
Do you have nobody?
Think about your opportunities that'll fly past
The chance of ever meeting someone?
Did you lose someone?
Think about if you'll actually see them again?
Being bullied?
Fight back, with whatever you have
Life shoved you down?
No, I'm not asking you to get up!
I'm telling you to get your *** into a nap
Think about all the possibilities that might not be
Think of all the opportunities and people in the future
Think of your legacy
Think of anything except the pain
Now balance the pain and everything else
Want to jump? Skyfall
Want to shoot? Paintball and games
Want to hang? Bungee
Want to overdose? Take 10% of it and party
Suffocate in propane gas, or blow up? Cook a nice meal, invite a friend or family. Surround yourself. No friends and family? Find a friend, build a family.
Want to speed wrong side of the road? Speed on the right side of the road and get carried with the wind, do it over again
Want to cut yourself? Cut off the pain and wrong influences
Electrocute yourself? Rather save electricity and watch a good movie with friends or family. Have none? Watch a movie alone, play a game online. Make friends, build a family
Want to starve yourself so you can get drunker and finally forget it all, when your liver gives in? Eat a lot more, blow off some steam at the gym and build a body that girls/guys would like, attract them and make new friends. Drink with friends.

I've tried many things, some of them didn't work out, or I couldn't stay awake longer. Create new dreams if the old ones died. Work hard for them. Achieve something
"At least leave a ******* legacy behind" is what my bestfriend, Steph used to say
"You can get out of this alive, but maybe a little ****** up, but anything damaged can be repaired" My bestfriend Josh used to say
"Life can carry you away without what you thought you needed" my bestfriend Divene used to say

Even more quotes from people I've lost in my life, so I ask you just think about it all
Still going through with it? Remember it's a one way ticket
I'm suicidal myself. Been for a long time. Just speak to me. Speak to someone. Let's fix this ****
Pagan Paul Jul 2018
.
In a costume of conflicting emotion,
of crossing diamondic colour,
with regal posture in grief,
the Harlequin and the King,
a display of opposites
creating a composite being,
that eases her body
gently into the waiting water,
to float away serene,
on her journey to the nether.

Midnight blue and emerald green,
the regalia of ermine,
both ostentatious and humble,
robeing the aspects,
understated in crowning splendour,
the gentleman King bows,
and the Harlequin laughs,
the bi-polar reaction
to the tragedy of misfortune,
with a sting in the myth-tale.

With the dark hues of mourning,
a legend passes on her way,
across the streams of time,
on a voyage to discover herself,
carrying her Harlequin in a purse,
holding her King to her breast,
owning them both in her heart,
the medicine wheel spins,
knowing the grapes of wrath
yield the wine of spite.

The motley speckles of attire,
a starry parody of night skies,
lighting the decorated funeral barge,
gliding along the rivers of space,
worn with the mantle of sorrow,
and it sails into the sunset,
as the Harlequin and King observe,
the mandala turns,
the bier of the Queen departing,
bears their sadness forth.

The Harlequin laughs and laughs 'til he cries,
his heart grows cold, then withers and dies,
whilst the King, statuesque, memoirs his life,
lamenting the legend of a Queen, his wife.



© Pagan Paul (24/07/18)
.
Richard Barnes Jul 2018
I live in the light of a purple sun,
waters deep,
oceans black,
hurricanes  glow red with their own light.

Hell’s madness rules with no mercy in sight.  

Wretched souls rise with the tide  

then swallowed whole by the purple sun’s light    

The soul cry for peace but receive only carnage and hate.

What god approves this madness?  

Greatness born and dies in filth and mud. 

No honor to the dead and the living becomes a disease.
I suppose I can never complain about twenty
years I had what some people never have that
of true love
A girl that loved so much gave to me everything unconditional love did
she gives
Never asked anything for herself just the respect
she so richly deserved for
her loyalty and the wonderful wife and mother to our
son
She truly was so loved and missed by all Helen the only girl ever I had loved for true romance we surely had and a love that  shall never
die
True Romance Helen and I had a love that will never die
a profound silence
deep grief imprints on your soul
lonely a mild word.
18/3/2019
Carmen Jane Apr 20
Oh, how I long for you to whisper through the branches, through the flowers
That you're ready to trust this love that your soul now it devours
How I long you to hold my face, in your warm loving palms,
I know that in one instant, you could gently ease my qualms
How I long, you to coil my silky hair on your fingers,
And lick the taste,of my love for you, that on your wet lips lingers,
I long our cheeks to touch, when I fall in your protective hug,
I don't really care if the world  gives me a shrug,
I know together we can rewrite our own fate
I see the  sun is setting, but it is not too late
Just let yourself be carried by the love's river
That sprang from your heart, when you felt that shiver,
The same one, I felt, when we locked eyes,
It's the kind of love, that never dies
Kam Jul 2018
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
endlessly-
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.


My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.


III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
—V.H.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
Amanda Aug 2018
I watch our love go up in flames
Feel my soul catch fire too
Summer reminds of happier days
The face I once knew

Distance is dangerous wind
Fanning flames, vacant of your smile each day
Your heart so numb you cannot feel the burn
Hear it beat even miles away

Patience the quality I lack
Forget to give my feelings time
So these hasty decisions catch up
When it's too late to change my mind

In forgotten days when your heart was better
Pleasant, simple, and unaware
Friendship quietly develops rust
Photographs more than eyes can bear

Broken glass, shattered hearts
It has all lead to this dead end
Perfectly synced self-destruction
Beautifully orchestrated lies descend

Peeking through darkness, cartwheeling midair
No stars left in our sky
The night alive with melancholy
Sorrowful birdsong in gusts low and high

My heart suspended in tragic beauty
Soul dies a little more every day
Waiting for eyelids to finally open to the light
Radiating from the glow of flames guiding the way
I swear I'd burn the city down to show you the light
Jordan Rowan Aug 2015
Midnight just stands there
It watches me with a stare
She doesn't like to sleep
Yet she sleeps with everyone but me

I'm calm as it storms
In this mental fire I am warm
I'm not without but within
As I let midnight in

There's a hollow in the sounds
Resounding through the pounds
Of my insomniac heart  
In the silky black dark

She was made in the light
But lives in darkest night
Solemn and upright
Like a high-end socialite

She makes me feel alive
Before the sun slowly dies
A martyr for my dreams
But nothing's what it seems
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