I feel my pupils,
Dialate,
My legs become,
A nimble stalk of grass
Blowing in the breeze

Everything is ******* awesome,
The hand of God Himself could not bring me down
From this man made chemical high

I struggle to pull a cigarette,
From a freshly opened pack
Because I can't quite feel my finger tips
**** you, Marlboro..

Leaves shake involuntarily,
On the trees before my eyes
The little piece of square paper,
That rests upon my tongue,
Brings me harmony

You asked me why I love you
And here’s a couple of reasons why:

You hold me like you can feel the
World, twirling on its axis
And if you let go we will both start spinning in an unending dance
And as we drift and glide among the stars we will slip and slid in the affections of the heart.
So instead you hold me
And I hold you, as if I never want to let you go, because while the stars are breathtaking, they lack the warmth of home. And while the dance is dizzying it’s hard to breathe without you.

Your eyes.
I could go on for days about your eyes. They entice me in their depths. The way the sunlight hits them in a wave of golden sparkles and then, you smile and I feel like i have a sunset for blood and a stardust heart. The way they light up as you behold the world.
The way your pupils dialate when they behold me. As if I am a star bright enough to burn away the world until it is just a breath, and a blur of color between our heart beats.

Your voice.
The way it rises and falls with the crisendo of your emotions. The way your breathing breaks up the beat of a steady sentence. The way it caresses my name like the breeze caresses a lilac blossom on a spring morn. The way it lulls me into a dreamy trance from which I have no desire to escape.

Your heart.
The way it’s song shifts, and tempo picks up, just a bit as I run my fingers over the smooth surface of your skin. The comforting rhythm beneath my ear as we match breathing before falling into dreams grasp. The way your heart strings tug and tangle when you fall in front of someone in need. How it pangs for those who have more misfortune then you. The way it’s song floats around me like wishes on the wind and tangled with my own until my own beat seems infinitely more beautiful and alien at the same time.

I have this irrational fear
That you will leave me
To chase after a brighter star.
And I don’t know how to react
But I do know, that if you did..
        I would let you.
And every night I would look up at the moon and we would agree
that you and the sun are alike.
Both so pretty and both just out of reach. And I would find solace amoung the moonbeams as I watch you spin dazzlingly amoung the sun as you dance between the stars.

All you do is give me your smile
And suddenly I'm weak, I can't speak
and my breathing grows hollow
My spine begins to shake, pupils dialate
as I try to form sentences
but they slip off my tounge
and hit the floor
as you walk away

A fish in a river he is.
A bear in the wild they run.
Wouns he inflicts on himself
Drawing blood
The scent draws them
Their pupils dialate
see the dark demons residing in the enchanting mask of the iris.
Wild, with rabid laughter they tease.
Seeing how far they can push a life.
Embarrased and humiliated he goes home
Carving knives in hand.

Your hands untied the noose
Without even knowing what it was
Everything you do, irony shades it's hue
We seem to embrace that chapter of life
That begins with us.

That jagged birthmark across your back
Where my fingers dance
Your eyes dialate, that cool black
Into my heart, your seed still plants.

Watching your fingers slide against the strings
My muse has returned
He listens when I sing
Shaking off his winter sunburn

Live my life through photographs,  
see foreign faces of people as my eyes dialate while,
my brain has taken the picture no matter how many centuries.
Is that the meaning of an old soul? 

My paintings have improved,
mixing the colors has become easier,
irises are a video camera
while, the nerves can rewind the sequence of events
and how the portrait or picture had developed.

Who the people were
and what their lives meant.
I don't live a tragic life,
I'm not trapped in some cryptic looking tower,
Only trapped, by my own personal unhappiness.  

These pictures are a way for me to live vicariously through someone else,
Imagining myself there. 

These pictures are taken to capture a momentous
or joyful time in my life,

television and movies are like that in a way. 
They remind us of the miserable world,
but we have decided to allow our worth
to weigh our subconscience like gold, 
These pictures are memories that trigger another event,
in a vicious cycle. 

I promise,
You don't get pictures taken of the countless empty bottles,
the pills you've choked down,
the tube that's shoved down your throat
when they 'save' your life.

(That left me wondering why I had to stay alive and it's all about contributing-
keeping up with the rent you're due on existing.)


 The happier times are easy to forget,
we didn't run out of film.
Aren't those kinds of things in pictures we see?
The media tells you to cut the corners of your mouth so,
you can smile.. 

 
My mother died some time ago a year and some odd months,
my mind had accidentally snapped a picture of her,
still framed; her statue like chest, no veins flowing, and the urge to wait for her chest to rise again. 

I think,
waiting leaves lesions on the brain,
because, most see waiting as pain without any kind of gain. 
That's where trauma comes from-
waiting,
time changing, embedded in the bellies of women and dripping out of men's mouths.

INCURABLE LOVE

And i thought my love for
you was contagious...

that the desire that sickened my veins
would infect your bloodstream to puncture your heart...

that the virus that suffocates my lungs-punctured by intoxicated oxygen-
would absorb into every particle that you swollow
into your cavities
holding captive my breath to kiss your lungs
and poison your bones in an elixir of
infectious passion,
intense admiration,
and--.

i am sick
as every cell craves you and aches for your love
so that love is a disease consuming my essence in decay, and rot, and soil
as only the return of such an overwhelming emotion
-oh my physical weakness-
could give cure...

CURE ME!

to suffer is to die in this aliment for i am weak and vulnerable to this epidemic!
please touch me and ease my breaking bones by tracing every wrinkle and line on my skin!
Please kiss me and ease my fractured lips by filling the cracked muscle with your wet tongue to remind me of a taste better than the medicine staining my throat!
Please look at me so as my pupils may dialate in my love for you beneath the sickened lids that blink back acid tears!

CURE ME!
CURE ME!

And in turn i will spread incurable love

Oh a skin so soft, sweet as silk
Pale complexion, entranced with silhouettes
Pearly colored, as white as mothers milk
Child which death can no longer threat

Eyes of stone, coldly staring
Ungodly vision of night, haunting souls
You arent even close, yet I feel you glaring
Pupils dialate as you target, your iris of rose

Velvet liquid drops from your snake tongue
Blood has stained your dapper wear
Monster of dark, you enchant while blood drunk
Even as your fangs bite and tear

The beast of sin, romance of unearthly desire
Intense reds, clashing on your inhuman skin
In one human heart you have lit a fire
Let the battle of nature and scorn begin

How could one not fall for the eternally young?

My eyes dialate
The darkness of your voice, their trigger
I pull away
The constant ache, it seems unbearable
Yet I always find myself back here
In the midst of your agony, I reside,
Collapsed within the center of your crisis
For within your pain,
My resilience lies.

Times goes by
the high fades
and so do you
cravings rip you to shreds
take another hit
another drag
swallow
Pupils dialate
the rooms starts spinning
Walking up the walls
the dizziness comes rushing in
the spell of euphoria consumes you
drowning in complete ecstasy
the brain knows exactly what the body wants
Hours pass and numbness creeps in like an omen
You want more to shed the stress
another ****
another pack
another pop
The mind becomes foggy
You start to dissolve into your surroundings
sinking into the green grass
into the wet soil
soaking through the Earth's flaming core
you  disintegrate
you are left as nothing but a pile of smoldering ashes

Times goes by
the high fades
and so do you
cravings rip you to shreds
take another hit
another drag
swallow
Pupils dialate
the rooms starts spinning
Walking up the walls
dizziness comes rushing in
the spell of euphoria consumes you
drowning in complete ecstasy
the brain knows exactly what the body wants
Hours pass and numbness creeps in like an omen
You want more to shed the stress
another ****
another pack
another pop
The mind becomes foggy
You start to dissolve into your surroundings
sinking into the green grass
into the wet soil
soaking through the Earth's flaming core
you  disintegrate
you are left as nothing but a pile of smoldering ashes

She's sitting there all pretty,
but I feel nothing, not a stir.
Shift closer in my chair
tossing conversations at her.
She throws them politly back
unsure.
Perhaps hoping for a spark,
a connection.
I gaze into her eyes at evening light's reflection
sparkling brightly as a dew drop glistening in the morning sun.
She's unaware of my distraction.
She got it wrong.
I notice a shy smile glow and resonate.
Her pupils dialate.
Unintentionally I've led her on.
Feeling a little guilty, I remember the evening's not just for me.
I cut the tethers of care to see
what our bodies will do.

Meeting secretly
Stolen kisses
The thrill of being caught
Hiding in corners
Finding time between time
Any minute we could have
Was enough to explore
Share stories of our lives
Make this love deeper
Almost instantly
They say love at first sight
And I believe
Not because of physical attraction
It’s all in the eyes
Pupils dialate and hearts race
To the sound of the others breath
We escape this place
Where we only have moments
Finding a world
Where forever is possible
Never having to worry again
Taking my hand without fear
Knowing I will always have you near

Heavens sky beneath my feet as I wonder the inevitable. Clumps of earth falling upon my head. Dust clouds vision. Eyes burning and blurred. Hands searching what eyes can’t see. Muted ears can only feel the violent throbbing coming from my chest. Off in the distance a voice summons.  Veins dialate as adrenaline rushes through like a raging river.  Wondering the inevitable as I seek your angelic voice.  My voice trembles as I call out to you.  Pleading pleading pleading for you to find my desperate soul.

Early smoke rises from the ashtray
An aromatic ballet with coffee
On a backdrop of crisp winter sunlight
While yesterday comes heavy on the wind
And throbs in a cloudy head
But tonight twinkles in a **** hole eye
Looking back while time flies idly by
And unable to forget the inspirations
Like women and scabies
And ***** and hemorrhoids
And various beds where i'd lay
My head and rock myself to sleep
There were wake and bakes
And one night dates with pupils
That dialate from the drugs we'd take
There were late evening shadows
And dawn's early lights
Legs that wrapped
Around so rightly
Wound up upside down
From the ground up
Who were we
Were we who we were
We were who we should have been
I almost thought i knew you
You who knew me
Through and through
And from the other side
Of the bed on the opposite end