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Lilywhite Jan 19
irreprehensible state
becomes constrained
and ridden with angst
incomprehensible dealings
with endless halls
and no ceilings
drowned out
by the sound
of silence
I cannot speak
for one must look within
to find their peace
otherwise
faced with fate
brain overload
we detonate-
forever yielding
and there;
never revealing,
it remains
lying in wait
within the maze
to take us back
from whence we came
July 26, 2011

mushroom meddling
Mary Velarde Mar 5
when do street lights
in ghost towns decide to flicker
until it recognizes its lack of purpose?
glistening gallows
bountiful burlesque
a kind of love that grabs the hand
that looks the most familiar
on days when the sun
glistens on skin that isn’t
patched against yours.
profanity becomes a prisoner
in your rib cage.
decaying but alive,
like ghosts that draw breath.
blindly fumbling
hungry greedy mouth
with eager needy hands
a strange audacity—
a smirk on the corner of your lips
veiling the corruption
between your teeth
i’ve made a habit of making my
tongue bleed
but that’s never going to come close
to the blood drawn
from your grenade-ricochets.
detonate my pulse
in all the ways you had ever
intended.
punic faith.
lungs brimming with fib.
stern and destructive.

how would one know
what to do with all this hurt?
KM Hanslik Nov 2018
There are flowers springing from my bones
in places they were never planted
fracture my skull and call it apathy
I say pain is a better road than dying alone;
can't you see the way my vision is blurred,
squinted too long at the sun now I think I've done damage
burned holes in my corneas before the age of 21, but those are just
surface things, right?
the road feels a lot longer when the cold air hits all my soft spots, like my neck so I cover it up
pooling all my efforts into growing thicker blood that will keep my skin warm
;keep kissing bruises on my arms, thinking that love will heal each new halfhearted attempt at self-sabotage
or manage the leftover evidence;
did somebody forget their brakelights on?
I'm trying to figure out how to get these needles out of my head
rocket science, learning to reverse detonate what might be left
in my system
system check, leaving sticky residue
behind me in my heavy concave tracks
softly trailing back
gotta learn to do it right the first time before I backtrack
my ears ringing like a sound clap;
bringing up old war wounds like we've lost gives us some sense of entitlement
things we don't want to lack,
leave the last stack
where I can mull over the aftermath
digging graves for those who are still alive,
burn my skin tonight
burn it right off my bones so I'll know I'm alive
still kicking like the second round
the afterthought that realizes what went down the first time
don't let me out of the house tonight,
god knows what I might find.
Jessica B Jan 11
Words are powerful
Words can change the mind
Words can express
Words can communicate
They portray real emotion, meaning
Words can inspire
They sing and dance
Words could detonate within these intrigued minds of ours
Words are creative, free flowing
Words could change your life
Change the world
They travel
To every inch of our universe
words are powerful
Julie Antonic Apr 2018
MEMORIES OF SAND
I gave up sweeping that year
Like a penance
As sand permeated
Everything in my condo
Clung to my scalp and feet
Blew in with the fog and landed
In my tub, between my sheets, the sink, the carpet
Gritted between my teeth in the early hours
When i would reach for her still
Before the memory would detonate around me that she didn't come.
I would follow you anywhere.
Morphed into
I can't.
I hate those dagger give-up words.
Unlike the sand
I reviled in coaxing the beach closer still
And sand blurred the boundaries of my life
Inside.  Outside.
Past.  Present.
Old.  New.
I could pull the blanket of crashing waves around me in hypnotizing hues
Breathe in the turquoise or gray or navy blue
Of the mecurial moods of the sea.
Each morning ritual of coffee and perching 8 foot tall on the sea wall studying the swells and tides
I could palpate the energy of my spirit rising around the waves
Curling and mixing as
Aqua-purple-red dragonflies hovered at my veranda hibiscus that murmers truths
I do no want to hear.
And in all that aloneness settled a great quiet still emptiness.
Because I couldn't cry I'd go diving in the persistent waves of salt and kelp.
The cold violated my eardrums and for a moment I'd go spinning-disoriented and weightless-suspended
Surrender without air as the Pacific held me buyouant
Only surfacing to breathe like a Baptism.  I was ok being alone.
And sometimes I wasn't.
As the sand exfoliated my old self I'd grasp hold of the new wonders of phosphorescent tide under a harvest moon
And the fading memory of her would rise like a helium balloon I held down for 2 hrs and 4 weeks at Surfers Point in Ventura
Then let her go into the abyss of acceptance
Like granting permission to the invading sand
Gathering like whispers
In disappearing corners of her absence
And leaned into the redefinition of myself:
Barefoot.  Sandy.  Expectant.
The memory of sand.
Sand
We're just here to block the stars from the roaches so they don't get religion.  
To ****** nature for the dilapidated peel of resin
to wear in place of a face, no trace of nature left to raise the dead like music
stroking rib fibers to detonate the universe.
Rosemary skin rise... hide the boiling creatures beneath
torching memory for the teeth.   Metallurgy is but relief
from god making  words making rooms  raindropping that euchiastry:

(childhood when no one is looking)

Genus, fungi; Animalia, dreams, Protozoa **** infecting;
In twilight, the only sounds are moonlit and shiny.  
Give me tropics, stars and trade winds making palm trees speaking.
Let humanity till the rest while we are seeking.
I dreamed I was tethered to the earth, a million miles up and breathing these
Words to describe a universe no one is believing.
What is cancer but the darkness, conceiving?
Take armor, poet warrior, and clutch the sunlight breaking east, Yout embattled mind bleeding.  
We are dawn or we are dusk
for this eternity
KM Hanslik Aug 2018
We've been having such a good time out here lately
chasing chasing chasing this summer to the end
of its life,
and it's about time we took half a handful of
something decent to calm our nerves, breathe slow
in and out just like we practiced when
the stars hid their faces and we decided
the nights were getting short and we'd
better hide ours, too.

and I know our brains will always be
a little bit hardwired for self destruction,
but before you go digging around again
in old scraps searching for new ways to place blame, new ways to fit
our shoulders with damage & **** counts,
take this down off the shelf
take a deep breath and hand
me the blueprints.

Sometimes I trip over my tongue when I speak, sometimes I forget and just
mumble instead,
and sometimes I tear out stiches too early
sometimes I don't get what I want and I blame myself
hate myself for thinking that we all have to come to terms with our own
versions of crash-and-burn fairytales,
but isn't that the truth of it all? If this
brutal reality doesn't shake us and stir
the dust from our bones, nothing will;
no morning or afterlife can save us until
we stop sharpening our teeth and put down our steel blades
nothing is made forever, but forever
is made up of a lot of nothings,
the way we stir the *** on our bad (or good) days is only one of them;
the way we tell ourselves we aren't important is a lie
don't whisper this into my ears at dusk,
scream it into the sky
scream it into the palms of your hands until you can't breathe anymore,
it has never been better, it has never been worse  
work your desires into your
DNA coding
detonate what's left in your system
(start over again)

I'm finding new ways to stand still on this high balancing beam
new rituals and new ways to throw my hat off to you,
give credit where credit is due
I only hope that when it's said and done
and I'm on my way out
I'll know half of what I do right now,
feel it surging in my headrush & in the burn
of my fingers
I hope I'll know on my way out the door:

Nothing has ever been better and nothing has ever been worse.
KM Hanslik Aug 2018
I wanna over-withdraw you like
the figures in my bank account,
numbers dropping like the autumn temps
me falling twice as fast
I want to glaze you over like the perfect picture
a remedy for broken panes & broken bones;
your fingers are just warm enough to
hold me through the winter
your eyes are just enough to
keep me once the spring comes
(keep me in this summer forever)
keep my spine alive with
sticky pretty half dark things,
keep it growing out of the top
of my head like lightning
coming and going and never staying
but if what we are is half as much (half as much as this feels)
I think I'd like to keep this
I think we are a time bomb
but we've enough time left on our clocks to figure out how to
reverse detonate,
we've enough time to
fill the cavities in our chests,
rest yourself against my collarbones and
plant flowers in my hair,
we are building up for
a big one, we are around 2 feet tall when we lay down
& we are another train wreck behind
the bullets that rattle rusted siding,
shake our homes clean from this disaster
shake us clean from ourselves;
we are
a slow one, slipping our hands around
barbed wire to loosen its grip,
I am another thing busted, dusty in the dark but
together we are reverse engineering
the blueprints that set our hearts in stone
we are chiseling away at it
tomorrow it will be
two and two together writing
a different set of scripts.

— The End —