Yeah, I get it
I get that it’s easier to pretend
You don’t care
To put up all these walls
Isolate yourself, your feelings
Never get to attached
Never want someone
Never need someone
To be this total badass heartless and carefree person
It’s to easy
You turned yourself into the man you hated the one that put you through the most unbearable pain
The pain that kept you up all night crying until your eyes were dry and puffy.
The pain that kept you from taking the chance to letting love happen naturally
It’s almost like you enjoy hurting people
Watching them suffer when you do exactly what he did you
You can’t get out of this mindset that nobody is worth your time
That nobody actually truly means what they say
You take their words like a grain of salt just to avoid another heartbreak
Another second of false hope you had for somebody,
Sometimes you wonder
Is this what he wanted? To turn me into this kind of monster?
Is this what he wanted to turn you into someone who doesn’t know what to do with love after it’s given.
To just absolutely destroyes everything?
Then you start to think
Are you even worthy?
Are you even worthy of some people’s love and and effort?
You are incapable of taking or giving love?because you don’t even know what love is.
To you it’s not real.
Because when you just started to love someone they give up on you.
So now...
Me...
I’m unworthy of that feeling of love.
So here I am again turning my heart to stone
Building these walls up
Just because he gave up on me
Just let me be heartless
Let me be selfish
Let me be me
Until someone can finally break me free.
