the idylie of two beloved
who are not discriminated
neither by each other
not by others
because of their gender
isnt it utopy?
Ask by some gay paars,
whether they ever forget
how they anounnced about their love
to their  orthodox parents...
what a hidden pain..
which always will remain
ask by the woman in suburb
how many *******
devastated her heart
before she met this handsome practical guy
who she may not really love
but cherish just the appereance of love
in form of elementar peace at home
without daily scandal
How oft we play satisfied when
in reality cats in the soul scratch
sometime there is no sight
how to difference lovely clotherness
from the chain of compomise
which people care
with clothed eyes.
happy love relation is rare
but luckely they are, they do exist.
but what about this phenomen like friendship?
Almost everybody would say
she/he have good friends
the paradox consist only in a fact
that modern life in the west
never  put this
kinship on exam
since people are financelly independent
other else too, when they clients of the dole
and live from welfare
they are secured
there is no situation happens
that friend must to sell their car, or
put a ring from a finger
to salvate their friend from some calamity..
those friendship mostly base on
pleasant time spent together
out of any mutual bonds...
but friendship to its limit
is yet more dangerous
than a love to its limit.
Therefore such claim hardly exist
„friends“ mostly knows very well
where the limit of their mutual aid
this awareness is tragic,
especially utopic is true friendship
between male and female
to certain point it works
but when someone of both
step on thin ice
for example of unanswered love
to somebody else
here patience of friend ends
who want support dream of
friend
who is desperated lover
when reality shows here is dead end
but true friend would help by any „utopical“ situation
she/he will find any remedy and make magic thing happen.
And friendship between artists
isnt it where should be especial tight bond?
„I love you when you show“
it is what observation say of such very bonds..
today artists think they were gods themself
they curate the life of mortal in their work
and give no **** when their good deed
will not being mirrored in the art
the time of unique like Simone Weil expired
and when such altrusit with a keen sense for human justice
somewhere still live
they will die young like she did
or will be driven insane.
And we will never know about their dream
their fight, their resistance
because they were not writer or philosopher
like Simone Weil ocasionally was.
you will say this piece is written by
sheer frustrated one.
You exactly didnt guess.
Yes of cause I am frustrated one
but i find satisfaction balance
not to dream about true friendship
because such adjectiv is too relative
anyway what is true friendship to my graspe
Is possible meet only in myths
but though to thousandth time dare in:

imagine friendship
imagine mutual creation
imagine peace

Desperated soul rising low in crude hours
In dance with tunes of discarded symphonies
I know its time with parasitic inception
Time which can never change again
You may think this was all meant to be
I may smile and walk the other way
But the interwined souls are never on release
None has seen the solitude that watches both
Lonely hours in parks, I spend today
The giant of giants setting its sail
Innocent breeze filling me with malaise
The benches broken and the weeds uncut
Old couples reliving their prime in solace
New sailors of the sky with splashing eyes
How everything points back to time together
Clueless how everything relates
All the curls and turns ending right at you
I may say, this was all meant to be
You may smile and walk miles away
Do onto others what they do to you

its almost midnight
when she heard they whisper in her ears
she almost fall a sleep
when she know there something happening
they scream out loud
she close her eyes
they cant control
she try to run
theyre in anger
she desperated but she still stay

when the day is come
they couldn't take it back
the women run but the man try to reach
but he didnt said anything he try to calm
but the women being wild
it was like a drama but it feel real
he said "im trying to change , can you give more times?"
but she said "its over baby, you running out of times."
the little girl in there just watching
wondering whats happening
can the master of time pause this time?
because the girl feel the pain between them

the people who know them whisper in her ears
"why you stay away when he doesnt have anything else?"
"why you run, after he change his look about anger"
can this women oppose them?
sure she can, she always think she's right
she's right about everything
she never think about the little girl in there
she just look at her and pretend theres nothing to worry about
but the little girl know its only a trick
and she wish she never be with them.

I am surrounded by                                                               ­ 
yellow dim lights

their fleshless grin
their sharp screams bouncing, echoing in my head
their dull triangular eyes
they’re desperated to know who I really am

I want to Get out, Run, Escape, Avoid
but the blunt lights are Tracking me, Chasing me

until I become one of them.

Sometimes,
A ticking tock's hands,
Looks like a pair of scissors,
For people who's in desperated need of time.
Tick, tock.
Goes the clock.
Sixty seconds.
"Please just a little bit more."
Forty five.
holds on tighter
Thirty.
"Please don't go. I need you here."
Fifteen.
"It's not time yet."
Ten.
"I'm not ready yet."
Nine.
"Please, please, please."
Eight.
"Open your eyes."
Seven.
"I promise you we'll do anything you want."
Six.
"Quit playing now, it's not funny anymore."
Five.
"Come back. Please. Just come back."
Four.
"Oh God."
Three.
"Why, why did it have to be me who gets left behind."
Two.
"Please, just one last time, hold my hand a little bit tighter."
One.
sobs

Then a faint voice from next to you gets muttered, that cuts the last strand of hope you ever had.

"Time of death, 12:54."