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Alyssa Underwood Jul 2016
Jesus entrusts
the most luscious of
blessings and the rarest of
secrets to the most desperate and
thirsty of souls, for He delights to place
the loveliest of wings on the lowliest of worms
"You make known to me the path of life;
    You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."
~ Psalm 16:11

"'Blessed are the poor in spirit,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."'
~ Matthew 5:3

~~~
OpenWorldView Feb 11
Oh, that sweet,
intoxicating feeling.

So, addictive
after one-time use.

I want it
I need it.

That adrenaline,
that dopamine.

You keep the drugs.
You control the dose.

I’m just a desperate ******
who’s in love with you.
There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love:

A girl that pities herself enough to think she is so intrinsically broken
she couldn’t even connect with someone biologically destined to love her;
A girl stupid enough to learn that love is a reward that she must earn,
yet frantic enough to always work too hard for it;
A girl that overcompensates. Begs. Forces.
A girl that claims she ‘Doesn’t know what to do with love’
when it comes along, so that, naturally, she can smother it;
A girl who’s biggest fear is abandonment, yet is an expert on expecting too much;
A girl that’s waiting to be saved, but would tell you she doesn’t deserve it;
A girl that still obsesses over ways she has been bruised
when surrounded by people that have helped her heal;
A girl who’s self involved, with no sense of self;
A girl that cries. And cries. And cries.

There’s nothing worse than a girl desperate for love.
Although I am now
             A sword of discord and death.

                                 Still, I must become:
                                         A shield of love and life.
All are turning against me. This is a trying time for me..
2 Timothy 4:16
Empire May 3
I tried to run
I wanted to escape
From the chains I've locked
Around my wrists
And the shackles
Weighing down my feet
But I can't try what you all do
So I make up my own
My routines to flee
From this crippling sense
Of reality
And you tell me it's dangerous
But I honestly don't care
I almost hope it is
And you wouldn't let me
Try anything else
So I guess I'm just
Desperate
So here I am, low again with a pounding head, shaking hands, and a nauseous stomach, but I never broke a law.

Maybe if I didn't have to save face all the time, I would be able to finally heal.
Cautiously, we're tied together, but that doesn't mean I'll be scared forever. With blotted thoughts you smeared my logic, blurred my memories and mixed them toxic. And honestly, I'm dying out, you smothered me with my own doubt. And as I drown, remember me, for all the things I couldn't be. Copycat, I'm losing here, and all you've done is uncover fear, you made me evil; illogical, and now I know you don't care at all. Do you make the desperate cries, logical to my demise? Involuntary refracts this soul, can you place back what you stole
from me?
--------------
All feedback is welcome and appreciated!!
Anya Sep 2018
A dog
Waiting
For it’s owner
In my case
For more likes
We all look to society, often in the form of social media, for verification. Even Hellopoetry for some.
PoserPersona Jul 2018
You are my love light of summer.
  For this I wade through winter.
Glowing 'bove, the trees are greener;
  blooming nascent desire


of which I never knew I'd need
  let alone make a heart bleed
girl, you got me on both my knees
  praying you'll also need me,
too, to finally be complete
  or otherwise reach life's peak.

Your hair stills heart's rhythmic meter.
  For this I wish forever.
Strands spun with goddess gossamer;
  softer than touch of mother


of which I never knew I'd need
  let alone cause ex's envy
girl, you got her so **** ******
  she blames you as much as me,
too, as love for you made her weep
  and revealed her love is cheap

Your voice humbles angel choirs.
  For this I listen eager.
Songs that shift the course of rivers;
  in harmony with nature


of which I never knew I'd need
  let alone so romantically
girl, you got me frantically
  writing you some poetry,
too, and I hope you now can see
  that maybe I'm also sweet

Your soul ignites wildfire.
  For this I bear the pleasure.
Ethereal flames dance together;
  fueled by spiritual tethers
  
  
of which I never knew I'd need
  let alone spark fantasies
girl, you got me crying, "please, please!"
  that you never take the lead,
too, cause this would be a done deed
  if you wanted it to be.
Sid May 19
Trying to be inch perfect
Hoping to derive something as exactly as you think
By everything that you observe
World makes you believe that is right
Gravity works, things dissolve....
But things doesnt always fall in place
Sometimes its chaotic
And you blame yourself to be the one thats the fault
You couldn't conquer your mind like everybody else
How do I get rid of this nihilism that surrounds me ?
I dont have questions for this world anymore
My curiosity is dead
I just have this urge to feel adequate
This perpetual need to feel the warmness
Eventually iam gonna get tired of my thoughts
And pass the **** out for another day of life
Bless you all and everyone around me to lead a life itself in its every form...
Viridian Feb 8
I grasp onto the gasps and awe of some stranger
I do it all reckless, and so unafraid by this danger
I tango with the early hours and my own ***** mind
I beg for more from the phone screen I hide behind
I play with these loose holds and these unattached strings
I play with their pleasure, revel in the way they moan and sing
I validate my own worth through this self I display
I almost don't recognize the person on my mirror today
I spiral down a dark and never-ending abyss of grappling with addiction after addiction, vice after vice
Noelis Sep 2018
he tortures me in the most caring way
his cold touch burns my flesh
his lips are so close to my ear, whispering
but i can’t whisper back
because Daddy told me not to
and he’s—oh God his touch feels so **** good
i want to scream his name but all i can do is bite my lips
i feel his smile on my ear
at this point my body is shaking
i’m desperate for his lips
and just when i’m about to finish
he stops and says
“bad girls don’t always get things their way”
Halo Nov 2018
I am a fallen angel.
Taken down by those among me,
And fearful of the demons that live under the surface of the clouds.
For they could break my wings again.
And they would.

I have taken a step down from grace,
Into a forsaken place,
From which I cannot tell light from dark.
Right now I need hope.
Even a spark.

I am left here to drown in my emotions,
In my thoughts and feelings.
My wings will not move.
I am tied down.

But I have a halo.

It keeps me from the evils,
And the sorrows.
So I can be happy for another tomorrow.
I am going through a really quite emotional and confusing time right now, and I am writing what I feel and what I need, and what everyone feels and needs, when in desperate times.
ryn Feb 2015
.
•    
re-
     kindle
    the spark
   that governed
    this game•the fire
  that once burnt as bri-
  ght as sun•all of this once
before, had a name•but now
is weak from the time it had be-
gun•there was a time when it wo-
uld consume•......it would defy the
odds....just so it could burn as one•
frantic and desperate for the magic
to resume•uncertainty has carved
itself into the heart that has come
undone•winds bearing ill no-
tions revealed as the enemy•
stitch up the gaps keep-
ing out the rogue
gust•
  pro
tect
  the
light that burns ever weakly•rejuve-
nate the spirit that harbours broken trust
•rekindle me now... i'm still in the game•
the heart                   save the     you will
isn't                              candle           need
ready                           and              to see
to make                         nur-              me    
sense                            ture             with
of the                             it                 this
dark•                             to                  in-  
                                    fla-              sig-  
                                   me•             nia
                                     ­                     as my
                                                         mark
                                                         •
.
Empire May 30
Hello there,
I’m lonely and desperate
I’m fighting my own mind
I eat to fill gaps in my soul
I love to wallow in self-pity
I like to think I’m special
I’ve pushed away all my friends
I’m too scared to get high
So instead I drink coffee ‘til I shake
My smiles are often very fake
I have no idea who I am
I’m either a very troubled individual
Or I’m a terrible drama queen
And truth be told,
I kind of like it like this
What’s wrong with me
Working on a bit of self-reflection...
Nat Lipstadt Apr 2016
~for lovejunkie, who loved this poem best~

so many reasons,
so many stones
yet unturned,
for each poem
a season,
for every season,
a given reason

eyes, dimmer,
hearing, harder,
memories, ha,
disappear as fast as
footsteps upon
my island beach

this then
my log,
of places momentarily visited,
capturing the of,
of me,
the exactitude of
where, when and what
I felt

what felled me,
the long and lat,
of the attitudes
of breeze and currents,
the happenstance that carries
a desperate soul
eager and afraid
to remember


"how fragile we are"

so memorized records here,
for his storage and his places,
both filled and unfulfilled,


poems, nothing more,
flawed each,
product of a flawed man,

here, for all to see,
most of all,
for the man,
to see himself
when the eyes of his mind
at last be shuttered
4/11/16 8:04am nyc
Daniel Ruiz Aug 2018
I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2017
The joyful heart is the buoyant heart—
empowered to rise above its circumstances,
unweighted, unburdened, unbound,
tied only to that which would lift it higher,
untethered from anything which would
pull it down, pull it under or suffocate it.

It's the free heart, quiet and at rest
yet jubilant and uncontained,
the celebrating heart, the praising heart,
the thankful heart, the heart set on pilgrimage,
bent on adventure, journey and romance.

All the while it's a waiting heart
because it's a yielded, led heart—
a heart which doesn't run ahead of the LORD
but willingly, quickly to the LORD—
a heart that though eagerly anticipating each
twisting turn, next horizon and changing path
keeps its eyes fixed not on the scenery
but forever on the Shepherd
because it's a heart persuaded
that He alone is the Great Reward
for which it has always been looking.

True joy is only ours when we find an endless
source of satisfaction, and of these I know only One!
The secret to all joy is to crave Him above all else.
The joyful heart is the one addicted fully to Him,
desperate for Him to the expense of all else,
willing to sacrifice everything to have that craving satisfied.

Joy and idols, I have learned,
do not easily reside together in the same heart.
So if I find that joy is chased away
the most likely culprits are my own desires.
What am I wanting more than Jesus?
For if intimacy with Him is the supreme goal of my life
then nothing can arise which I'm not enabled to bear with joy.
There is, I suppose, nothing so reliable as suffering and loss
to expose all of the hidden idols within me.

It's surely those who have suffered the greatest
and most frequent losses for Christ who are also
most capable of knowing the deepest and most abiding joy.
For it's when we've been stripped bare of everything else
that we begin to know for certain that our joy is based
not on the temporary blessings of our circumstances
but only on the presence of the Eternal Blesser Himself.

Sometimes He offers to us all that is in His right hand,
but for any with eyes truly opened to see
the most precious of times may be those
when He offers to us only the intimacy of His right hand.

Rivers of sadness can open up
into wide gulfs of endless delight and
are often the very courses needed to carry us there.
When all is lost, we find to our amazement
that, even so, we still have ALL
and no one can rob us of it.
When He takes everything from us
He proves Himself to be EVERYTHING to us.
~~~

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
~ Philippians 1:21

"I want you to know how hard I am contending
for you...and for all who have not met me personally.
My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart
and united in love, so that they may have the full riches
of complete understanding, in order that they may know
the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden
all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
~ Colossians 2:1-3

"I say to the LORD, 'You are my Lord;
    apart from You I have no good thing.'...
Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more...
    LORD, You alone are my portion and my cup;
    You make my lot secure...
I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
    even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
    With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure...
You make known to me the path of life;
    You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at Your right hand."
~ Psalm 16:2,4a-5,7-9,11

"Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
    He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    He enables me to tread on the heights."
~ Habakkuk 3:17-19

"How lovely is Your dwelling place,
     O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
    for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
    for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may have her young—
a place near Your altar,
     O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in Your house;
    they are ever praising You.
Blessed are those whose strength is in You,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion."
~ Psalm 84:1-7

~~~
Nick Feetchi May 2017
I dare to dream of unthinkable things,
which are definitely beyond my means,
to escape to a place,
but never explored,
the beauty of you,
the one I adore,
to relinquish the feeling,
in need of healing,
wondering thoughts of where you are,
desperate measures,
simple pleasures,
still, I dream of those unthinkable things,
beyond my reach and yet ------- still I dream,
Dominique Sep 2018
Sometimes, I am a paper girl.
I look in the mirror
To judge my blotches and creases-
I am a pale, thin tissue
That bows to the howling wind
Transparent for anyone who cares enough to look.

If you like pretty pictures, I'm the one for you-
A roll of film scratching laughs
On curious cinema screens
That could run into infinity
Just to fuel your smile.

I soak up your messes willingly:
All the colours that bleed and mix
To form the specks of sadness
In your eyes at 10.p.m
And the grass stains that roll
Down your bare gypsy feet
And the sunflower seeds
That stick to your inky lashes-
These things give an echo of the flavour
I miss.

I am vain
I regularly conjure up poetry on my skin-
Do not give me yours.
I will recite it to my last paper breath
So I can kid myself that paper is power.

I am not the phantom you teach to play piano
Under the helter-skelter moon,
I am far too fragile for that-
My paper cut fingers bend
And bleed light all over the keys.

My hands are a canvas
For anyone's ***** details
For if enough titles are painted on my body then perhaps
I will learn the complex trick
Of gaining depth

And maybe the world will look as full
And real as I read in books
And dance with in music
And maybe my edges will stop being ripped
Or my corners cut
Or my pages burned and tossed aside.

Sometimes, I am this tiny
Vulnerable
Origami creature
And my cream card bones tremble like feathers
A bad caricature of life.

Sometimes I am full of wonder-

But right now, I am this.
I tried to put this awful blurry feeling I get when I'm lacking in creativity and motivation into words, and this is what I got.
Sometimes I feel so alien.
Latifah Nov 2018
when there's so much pain to bear
and you can barely walk
heaviness weighing down your heart

and then
you're so numb
you're so empty
you're so desperate
to feel
to fill
this hole

the hands that once suffocated you
look like help from heaven

and you'd hold them
you'd hang on to them

as if they were the last shred of hope
and you're so scared of letting go
frightened of not feeling anymore

you don't realize
you're only sinking
lower
and lower
while they feed on your hunger
they're rising
higher
and higher.
Anne Molony Oct 2017
I’m learning the new language of love
It’s cloudy and I’ve only
broken sentences
already-fluent in the tongue of
drunk hook-ups and
meaningless touches and
compromised endeavors and
disguised intentions

I have never felt what I was promised
I want to bathe myself in it
showers
pools
seas
of infatuation
if it exists

desperate for affection
addicted to the idea
that a soul could long for me

craving something
anything

unreliable arousal
am I unfairly deprived?
Zeeb Jul 2018
Tool of desperate confrontation
Object of pride for a grateful nation
In Baton Rouge on the mighty river
Kidd rests proudly
376' length overall,  Fletcher Class destroyer
Like every ship, of oil she does smell
When I boarded her, she had something to tell

I was with a scoutmaster, my son and the boys
Concerned with their fun, and the making of noise
But late in the night, as quiet set in
Kidd started whispering, to my within

She spoke of the men who gave up their lives
Their children, their girls, the tears of their wives
Thirty-eight men, in fiery fuel
Hell's agony touched, a death so cruel
Fifty-five more, burned badly that day
Defending our country, our homage we pay
Visiting sailors will stand at attention
… and for a young Kamikaze, scarcely a mention

The big war was over, Kidd passed her test
Now to San Diego, for a permanent rest
But as men will prescribe, it didn’t last long
Kidd went back into action, near Korea’s Kaesong

When in Baton Rouge, you can visit the Kidd
If you’re bold, listen carefully, just as I did
You'll get half of the story, the rest we don't know
The men who have fallen, to Kidd's mighty blow

Let's set now a new tone and have us some fun
The Kidd's crew were pirates but they didn't run ***

Those flat-tops were fancy, their flyers elite
In the galley was ice-cream, their reward and their treat
When a pilot was downed, Kidd quickly steamed
Then radioed the skipper, "your man for  ice-cream"
avalon Apr 2018
i am worn books and french vocabulary, ice cold chai and steaming earl grey. i am stone stares and eyes watering, uncertainty in silence and sharp decisive conversation. i am shaking hands and reciting poetry during anxiety attacks and i am indie rock showers and top-of-your-lungs pop radio in the car. i am empathy without sympathy, crying in the bathroom stall and i am childhood cartoons and your favorite stuffed animal and the beach in the summer. i am desperate to be alone and desperate to scream and desperate to find someone who knows what i mean and still likes me. i am comfort zone constellations, i am Orion's belt on every nighttime stroll i am the hollow tree in the backyard of the house we don't own and i am my handwriting and the words in my poems. i am everything you have made me out to be and i hate that; hate that you see all my flaws so clearly but that isn't all of me and i know that now.

i am the trinkets my grandmother left me and her eyes when she looked at me and the way she cried when she read my poetry. i am a thousand ways i have loved those dear to me and the children who fall asleep on me and the way my cat runs to me and i don't need your or anyone's approval but God's and my own.
Khoi-San Aug 2018
Calming seas breaking Avalanches
And boiling volcanoes
Close encounters and
The everlasting
Embrace of Vesuvius
Desperate to touch the
Sweet sweet shore
Love affairs ?
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2016
O Lord Jesus,
I want to live and walk and bow
in constant awe of You,
but I am so easily distracted and waylaid.
Fasten my eyes and heart on You,
for You alone are worthy.
I am not worthy to even peek at Your beauty,
but by Your own worthiness You've invited
me to dwell forever in Your presence,
yet how often I refuse the privilege.
Why would I ever do that?
What is wrong with me?
How hard-headed and hard-hearted I must be!
Save me from my messed-up self
and from this messed-up world,
for I am sorely helpless and lost without You.
Draw me by the force of Your love
into the light of Your glory and goodness,
awaken me to the healing touch of Your Word.

Capture and change me to the core,
for only You can, my Savior.
Rid my soul of its blinding
filth, muck, rot and *******
that I may freely sing, dance,
swim and soar in the wonder of You.
Cause me to crave You with an insatiable,
desperate appetite that expels my fleshly hunger.
Teach me to ever feast on You!
I need You and long for You, Jesus,
but send the burning, ripping ache
deeper, deeper, deeper until nothing
remains but desire for You.
Come and satisfy me, O Delight of delights,
in that glorious and awestruck place
of endless fascination and total possession
where my will is finally drowned in Yours.
The first time I walked through the door of  a group of people.
I sat there  feeling. Alone not included.
Not one came over to ask me if they could help me.
Or just took a moment to say hello not seen you here before
. can I get you something
Pehaps a cuppa
Would make you feel  welcomed into strange  environment.
Only you know theses desperate times of  being alone at home.
Different  type of aloneness amongst strangers.
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