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Jordan Rowan Dec 2015
I think I saw you sometime yesterday
You had your hand in the pocket of a man
Saying things that you don't understand
Like you do every single day
Maybe all the good girls got away

And the man's got a smile on his face
I don't think he truly understands
What he's done and what he's gonna face
Did I mention, that you may have your taste
You're still just an old disgrace

A perfect day on a Sunday afternoon
The cafe crowd and a quiet, calm monsoon
Reaches down into a bag colored like the sun
And pulls out a gold encrusted gun
I hope the man had his days of fun
divinity m May 2018
this world is far uglier
than the evil trolls
from my old fairytale books
Elle Harris Feb 2018
His arms skim my waist
And, with an issue, I am faced.
I fake the smile and move along,
But inside I know that this is wrong.

For now, he holds me close.
For now, our love grows.
In hours, this façade will fade.
In hours, I will be afraid.

His hands will not be soft;
All my hope will be lost.
My face will be bruised,
And he will be amused.

I will want to yell
And cry as well.
I will want to kick
Or wish him sick.

Yet, I do nothing
As his fists are coming.
I sit and stay silent
To keep him less violent.
Feelings and pain ****, but I chose to write it away.
Stephen E Yocum Aug 2018
A steady cadence  
pulsing in a heart beat
like rhythm, voices
and strummed instruments
all in harmonized concert,
An orchestral multitude,
of frogs and crickets,
never tiring or ceasing,

How many must there be,
to render such a cacophony?
Sustained and loud enough
to keep city folk awake.

Nature's Music of the night,
should you but choose to listen.
How do they do that, all night
with absolutely no intermission?

A crescendo finale triggered
only by the coming dawn's
first light, and the boastful
crowing calls of our cocky
persistent red rooster chicken.

Where these musicians go in
daylight is anybody's guess.
To sleep I suspect, deserved
resting up for yet another
night of endless music.
Another value added feature
of living out in the country. Night
voices lulling me to sleep outside
my open window/screen.
Emilea Burgh Feb 2
the house across the street
has been empty
for years
because the landlord can’t afford
to tear it down
or build a new one
and it won’t pass inspection

one lamp stays on
all day
all night
to deter the copper thieves
or any other broken soul
seeking shelter
from the streets

a child runs across the splintered floor
his feet black as tar
stinking of mildew and *****
a mother sinks into her soiled chair
but she tries

a trust-fund recipient rides his jet-ski
his oiled body
tanned and toned
a father, gleaming, takes a photo
and he flaunts

everyone has their own place in the world
in a trailer park
in a tent
in a split-level home
in a shelter
in a palace

but never on the pavement
beaten down
like a poorly-trained dog
blamed for the errors
of its master
Kam Jul 2018
Clothes have outgrown me many times over,
but this sadness never does.
One size.
fits all.
There should have been an obituary for cancer,  not you.
Wishing these slits within my skin could have been
replaced by a reality check from you, “You chose to exist.”

My name causes a sigh to escape from lips,
that do not feel like they belong to me,
the girl,
whose words always had to be special.

The schematics of hospitals like a birthmark in my brain,
born into sadness, a gut feeling as a child.
Never trusting time
due to what it delivers.

Death, being the only thing I desired.
But you, 
who I love,
endlessly-
robbed by it.
Whose ebb for life glowed so feverishly.
Stopped comparing depression to lace,
restricted the belief that suicide is poetic,
seeing things as they were.
More often than not, applauded for feeling emotions deeply.
Every second that dies, the shift of my heart quakes.

This world is not tender.

II. Sad.
I have known the flowers I wanted at my own premature funeral,
knowing how many bouquets honored you that day.

split open my veins like a dimension
reminiscent of days where I anticipated deathbeds.


My family wondered,
can we make it through another day?
Death scares me for what it has taken,
yet, I’m not afraid to die-
it’s all I deserve.
So I await the day pain erupts
from my throat,
acknowledging the days a soul
lived inside of my body-
footprints that walked,
belonging to me.

But I learned so well.
How to suffer with a smile,
dreading the beating of my heart
how unfair—
I don’t want to take these deep breaths
You deserved,while I masquerade as a member of the undead
Never outgrowing the desire to rot with the phantoms residing under my bed.


III. Jokes played by the universe.
punchlines delivered,
how could anyone to stand to be in the same room as myself?
How could anyone look over skyscrapers and sunsets,
and not be infatuated with concrete consuming them?
How I shared a sigh of relief during the thought-
of knowing people would thrive without me,
or the power of a belly laugh,
resembling a laugh track audience
drowning out 3 AM suicidal thoughts.
—V.H.
I wrote this in pink gel pen, maybe, that’s another joke.
Big Virge Aug 2016
Well ........
It Seems It's ... OPEN SEASON ...
  
For ... MURDEROUS ... Policing ... !?!
  
NO MORE ...
Will Blacks Take ... Beatings ... !!!
  
Police Will Leave Us ... Bleeding ... !!!
While They ... KEEP ON Receiving ...
PROTECTION For ... Yes Leaving ...
  
Blacks With ...
  
NO PULSE or ... FEELING ... !!!
In Fact ... NO LONGER Breathing.
  
And Then Comes ... " Court Proceedings " ...
That Leave Black People SEETHING ... !!!!!!!!!!!!
  
Well Fine It's ... OPEN SEASON ...
For Poetry ... Now Seeking .............................................................
  
Some TRUTH ...  
And Less ... Deceiving ... !!!
  
See ....
I'm Incredibly ... NOT Shocked ...
At How Poor ... " Walter Scott " ...
  
Got Shot By ...
Some ... White Cop ...  
  
When Walter ... Tried To Run ...
From This ... Policeman **** ... !!!!!
  
But ......
Before I ... Move Along ...
  
He May Well ...
Have Done Wrong ... ?!?
But ... " Officer Slager " ...
Let Off ... EIGHT SHOTS ...
In ... Walters' BACK ... !?!!!? ...
  
Let Me Just .... " Back Track " .....
  
He Shot ... " EIGHT TIMES " ...
Taking ... " HIS LIFE " ... !!!!! ...
  
Because .............
Said ... SLAGER ...  
  
" He feared for his safety
because Mr. Scott, tried to
grab his Taser ! "
  
So ...  
That Means ... WHAT ... ?!?
  
He Deserved To Be Shot ...
EIGHT TIMES ... In His BACK ... !?!!!?!
  
Maaaaannnnn ....
  
ENOUGH of This CRAP ... !!!!!
  
What Kind of Policing ... ?!?
Gives Policeman Teachings ...
of ... SHOOT TO DEATH ... !!!!
  
Rather Than ... " A Leg " ...
  
Shoot ... BOTH ...  
... If Ya Like ... !!!!!
  
But .....
ENOUGH ... of These Vibes ...
Where ... Black People DIE ... !!!!!!
  
Husbands and Wives ...
Whose Fam' Are Told ... LIES ... !!!!!
About ... Cop HOMICIDES ... !!!!!!
  
So Let Me ...
  
SEASON and OPEN ........................................
How People Are .... Bro Ken ...
And Blacks Are Just ... " Tokens "...
For Them To Be ... " Quoting " ...
ALL Kinds of ... DUMB THINGS ... !!!!!!
  
About ...
  
... Po' Po' Shootings ....
  
An ... Asian Dude ...
Who ... Went To My School ...
Posted ... One Day ...
  
On My ...  
Facebook Page ...
  
"Blacks need to be wise
when police are in sight,
and not antagonise,
cos' that's how they'll die !"
  
Yeah THIS ... Indian Guy ...
Felt He ... Had The Right ...
To ... Tell Me Why ...

Police TAKE ... Black Lives ... ?!!!?
  
Cos' We ....
  
" DON'T ACT RIGHT !!! "
  
Well YEAH ... Sometimes ...
But Being ... SHOT TO DEATH ...
Goes BEYOND .... NONSENSE ... !!!!!
  
But ......
Asians Like ... HIM ...
Prove That Being ... "submissive" ...
Is How Most ... CHOOSE To Live ...
And How Most ... Seem To Think ... !?!
  
How Many ... Asian Girls ...
And I DON'T MEAN ... Orientals ... !!!
  
Have Been ... " Experimental " ... ???
  
When It Comes To ... Black Men ...
Being ... In Their Worlds ...
As The ... FATHERS OF ...
  
..... Their Children ..... ?!?
  
It's CLEAR ...
From Their ... " Caste System " ...
That ... Inter-Racial Teams ...
Are .... Rarely EVER Seen ... !!!
  
Unless Their Partner's ...
......... " White " ........ ?!?
  
Most Asians ....
DON'T Trust Blacks ...
And That Is Simply ... FACT ...
  
In Fact ...
Some Do Believe ...
That Blacks Are Just ... MONKEYS ... ??!??
  
Check Through Their ... "History " ...
Such Words ... AREN'T FALLACY ... !!!!!!!!!!
  
When We Now ... " Greet Police " ...
  
Should Blacks ... IMMEDIATELY ... ?
Get Down Upon ... " our knees " ...
  
And BEG Like ...
  
... " Slavery Scenes " ...
  
"Please *****', don't shoot me !"
  
Which Leads Me To ...
... These Blacks ...
  
Whose Uniform's ...
Now ... " Packed " ...
  
To Join These ...
... Police Klans ... !!!!!!!
  
What Have They Changed ...
In ... Policing Ways ... ?!!!? ...
  
... " Not A Lot " ... !!!!!!
  
Ask ... " Walter Scott " ... ???
  
Well Sadly Now ...
  
You ...
CAN'T DO THAT ... !!!!!!
  
Because What Is FOUL ...
Is ... THIS HERE FACT ... !!!!!
  
While Walter ... DIED ...
And Lied ... FACE FLAT ...
  
A Cop Who Was ... BLACK ... !!!
Seemed To Search Mr. Scott ...
As If He'd ... STILL ATTACK ... ?!!!?
  
And Then ...  
Let This ... White Cop ..
Treat Him ... LIKE HIS DOG .... !???!
  
I'm ...  
SICK of The CRAP ... !!!!!!
Now Coming From ... Blacks ... !!!!!!!
  
Will They Wanna Shoot ME ... ?!?
For This ... REAL POETRY ... !?!
  
See It's Been ...
  
..... OPEN SEASON .....

For ...
QUITE SOME TIME ... !!!!! ...
  
Cos' ....
Black Folks Be ... " submissive " ...
As If They'll Face ... " A Lynching " ... !!!

For BREATHING ...
And NOT ... " Flinch-ing " ... !!!!!
  
When ...
Po Po Lights ...
Start .... Blinking .... !!!!!!!
  
Which Right Now ...
Gets Me ... Thinking .......................................
  
That ... " William Lynch " ...
Is Looking Down and Saying ...
  
"Look at these Black Clowns !"
  
Folks ....
This Here AIN'T ...
  
" 12 Years A Slave " ...
  
This Shooing Happened ...
.... " YESTERDAY " .... !!!!!!!!
  
In ... South Carolina ....
Where That PIG Has Been Fired ... !!!
  
But ....
Without ... " The Footage " ...
would he still be out ... SHOOTING ... !!! ? !!!
  
See I'm ...  
A Man of ... " Reason " ...
  
But Right Now ...
I'M SEETHING ... !!!!!
  
Because ....
When It Comes To ....
  
... KILLING BLACKS ...  
  
It's  .....
  
... STILL ...
..... CLEARLY .....
  
.... " Open Season " ....

Listen Here :

https://soundcloud.com/user-16569179/open-season/s-Dm4jH
Certain poems speak for themselves, due to events that are as REAl, as they come .... I use the BLM moniker below, but, Do Black Lives REALLY Matter ... ??? beyond police actions .... ??? I prefer this tag #VerseThatMatters

Listen To The Musical Version Here :

https://soundcloud.com/user-16569179/07-open-season
Alyssa Underwood Dec 2018
The GOOD NEWS that God has done for us
what we could NEVER do for ourselves
by sending His own Son to become a man, Christ Jesus,
to live a perfectly righteous life
in complete fulfillment of God’s holy law
and to die for our sins on the cross
as our substitutionary sacrifice
(“the righteous for the unrighteous”),
bearing and satisfying the just wrath of God
deserved by us ALL  
(for against Him our hearts are each
naturally and treasonously rebellious),
and resurrecting Him from the dead
so that THROUGH FAITH IN JESUS
we can be saved from the penalty of our sinful rebellion
(eternal damnation and separation from the grace of God)
and saved from the power of our sinful rebellion
to instead live a NEW LIFE in intimate relationship with Him,
surrendered now to Him, with all of our sins forgiven,
covered with His own perfect righteousness
because of His complete and finished work
for which we who believe receive a full credit,
and therefore (by grace alone) in perfect standing and
unchanging acceptance before God in His holiness,
at peace with the Father wholly,
indwelt and empowered by God's Spirit
to live for Him and His glory and His kingdom,
now and eternally.
“This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
~ 1 John 4:10

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind… The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth… ’…the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!’”
~ John 1:1-4,14,29b

“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”
~ 2 Corinthians 5:21

“Surely He took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered Him punished by God,
stricken by Him, and afflicted.
But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on Him
the iniquity of us all.”
~ Isaiah 53:4-6

“He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.”
~ Romans 4:25-5:2

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life… Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them.”
~ John 3:16,36

For much more on this:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/2179517/the-gospel-of-jesus-christ/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW5tGtCJjmU
Left Foot Poet May 2015
for Tascha

deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming,
drowning the next contemporaneous
depression thought quickly swallowed,
desperation in quick glances everywhere,
dawn is no consolation but just another
daily drawing tighter of twine cutting
disillusionment


dear god, commences every thought,
delayed answers have yet to arrive,
**** the deity's non-responsivness,
dare not say out loud lest,
deserved fates be worse, be realized,
didn't know? how can that be?
disguiser par excellent, I am the original
deceiver

But I never think about

death or dying, for that would be
defeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, a
destiny some wick spark, still insists can be
deferred

differed always,
diffidently, but grasping yet at the
double entendre that is my
dark vision of a future already past

May 2015
may 2015, back when I could write...
Hayleigh Nov 2016
One day you'll find someone who makes all those broken pieces of your heart feel like the most beautiful jigsaw in the world, who cherishes your cracks and fills them with gold dust.

She wasn't wrong when she said you deserved better.
Alyssa Underwood Jul 2017
Rest in this, my bruised and weary soul:
I was a wretch, chosen to be a beauty;
a slave, chosen to be a bride;
an orphan, chosen to be an heir;
an enemy, chosen to be a friend.
I deserved nothing but wrath and death
yet received everything of life and grace.
I am loved beyond any dreaming of it
and blessed above all worldly wealth.
I have the incomparable birthright of those
whose Father is God and whose Lord is Jesus Christ—
righteousness from Him and peace with Him.
I am a cherished gift from the Father to the Son.
I was paid for by the Son’s own blood
and am "engraved on the palms of His hands."
I am the living temple of God’s Holy Spirit
Who empowers me to do His pleasure and bring Him glory.
I am the LORD's, chosen and set apart for His delight.

What more could I ask?
But that's only the beginning...


I will live as blessed as I believe myself to already be,
for "I have been blessed in the heavenly realms
with every spiritual blessing in Christ,"
"given everything I need for life and godliness"
through knowing Him and His precious promises,
"an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—
kept [securely and eternally] in heaven" for me.
I've been "raised up and seated with Christ";
my "life is hidden with Him" in the Father,
and "He will fill me with joy in His presence,
with eternal pleasures at His right hand."

Oh, that "the eyes of my heart would be enlightened
with the spirit of wisdom and revelation"
to see what’s already been prepared and given to me
and to know much more fully the One Who has
so meticulously prepared and lavishly given it.
As I walk intimately with Him and rest confidently in Him
(based only on His merits, never my own),
I am given free access to my account
in His heavenly storehouse and enabled to appropriate
its glorious riches to every circumstance of my life,
even the most searingly painful and confoundingly difficult ones.

I have a spiritual Fort Knox available to me
through knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,
but He Himself is my greatest treasure.
Without Him, nothing else matters.
Nothing else has meaning if I am not found in Him,
clinging to Him and carried by Him.
When I finally become desperate for Him alone,
I begin to understand the profound reality
of all He desires for me and offers to me
in my spiritual inheritance in Him.

There are infinite presents to be unwrapped
in His presence which cannot be told
in human words or comprehended by mortal minds,
but they wait to be taken hold of by
any and all who would take hold of Him.

For He gives and gives and gives and gives,
and even when He takes, He gives.
#
~~~

Inspired by the Holy Bible
(quotes from NIV)

Ephesians 1:3-19; Romans 5:1-11; 2 Peter 1:3-4; 1 Peter 1:3-4;
Ephesians 2:3-6; Colossians 3:3; Psalm 16:11; Isaiah 49:16

***
Another Jul 2018
Today or should I say what was left of yesterday, the most important time during the day when the moon is in a modestly transient display, I would consider taking my life. It is early evening, I couldn’t hold onto what I thought I could live for, giving into intolerance too easily, was like life for me was cracking in two and I was unable to cause cohesion for the diverging halves. only the effect remains unhinged and hidden inside me, without notice I go on missing from society. I’ve greatly deteriorated over the past few months which felt to me like decades in a room resembling winter. I often open the window only to my dismay that the air out is uncomfortably thick and moist, enough to suffocate my concentration for concern to what lies around instead I retract into this niche I resent completely spectating this limited view found underneath monochromatic inverted shades, for something that might not be much greater than I had wished it to be, I let these ideals of mine run wild in an attempt to let them be real momentarily, to burn out eventually unseen. Nothing should be able to live in such a way, I’m as stagnant as the trees that lie ahead near the streets. They witness every passerby freely sauntering trails laid out for the day, perhaps they, these beings, take it for granted not giving much attention to anything else besides the very goal that keeps them afloat and moving toward for execution to whatever it is they have their minds eye simply on. I’ve known all too well that it is pointless to do the same, I can’t squander what I have right in front of me over a simple goal, although I might not live in life’s given moments pleading for the very attention I sometimes don’t give in to, nothing ever goes unnoticed, these impressions are all that I could ever ask for, the smallest of gifts for me to cherish. Anyways I was only wandering my sight around outside looking for a movement I could possibly run to for help, giving my ears away for barber’s melody to play out loud. Nothing more showed up, only a bitter heat wave, the trees left unshaken from vacant winds. Washing over me was the penetrative structure I felt his sorrowful life flash ahead of me wondering how misunderstood he must’ve felt in such a time where everything was unrightfully wasted from a society that never knew how normalized repression began to feel, so they went about it by going along with the feel other than freely being expressive about internal conflicting issues. Maybe to one or none at all. He deserved better as did all the others. Maybe I’m wrong and only being reflective of myself. For what reason I don’t know. I was telling myself on the car ride somewhere else that I won’t disclose, for it doesn’t matter. I imagined everything I was to do, or should I say that I was accepting of what was to come next reciting in my head that all the dreaming and envisioning I had done up to this point was my life possibly lived, the love I couldn’t help to resist myself from attaining, the opportunity to save the world from collision from and through a great work that could possibly impregnate every sensible mind with a broad spectrum of what an extra day of the week might feel like, more time to spend freely from life’s never ending demand of what is to be expected by and from each and every one of you. I daydreamed of everything I missed during my lifetime so far, I should’ve traveled but didn’t, I’m not filled with fear but that of insecurity always wins the day. I slipped on by to memories that never had the chance to be made, only the threading lies there on a timeless lot gravitating toward evaporation. I left no more hope for myself because I’ve chosen to give it to the others who could actually implement change, those of whom I know I can entrust the life that I wasn’t living to. I made a choice, to disperse this existing body from and to a place where time is stilted upon my departure outside the fields wherever that may be, music guiding me out of the overriding blur beyond the wilt— my memory subsided inside this symphony somewhere that is made up of very early mornings and the light that follows afterward, kindly implying, that maybe, they never existed. I’m without anymore words, Thank you
I’ve decided to lay this one out exactly how I intended it to look; in its most free format, untouched from editing. maybe to expose the half crumbled city that lies in the way.  

I have this thing to get carried away into needless thoughts. 4 am is the time when self-reflecting occurs.

It goes deeper than all this, this is but a simple opening to more uncovered doors.

0202, is when I will be leaving
cleo Feb 2017
i don’t count aloud anymore
i can't stand to hear your name,
such a common word
it doesn't matter the context
i still go quiet every time

i used to pick up pennies, called them lucky
i remember picking up a few
on our way back to your place.
nowadays i don't give them a second glance
it's not their worth i've forgotten

they say one is the loneliest number
is that why you did it?
because you felt you’d earned it
after all this time being by yourself--
that you deserved it?
what about me,
did i?

i remember exactly what i wore that day:
short shorts, a baggy t shirt
i haven't worn those shoes since (and i so loved them)
they were these expensive purple velvet platforms;
i actually had to beg my mother to buy them for me.
"you better wear them", she warned.
that day i went home with you was
the first time i'd ever worn those shoes,
and the last
sorry mom
Ashley Black Jan 2017
What makes me horribly gut-wrenchingly sad,
is that at my weakest moments,
I didn’t even think I deserved my tears.
Like somehow,
in the grand scheme of things,
My pain isn’t validated.
Others have suffered worse,
Why should I think I deserve to cry?
What a low place to fall.
That even my agony was a Flaw.
Mak Jul 2014
The room was silent. The only sound to be heard was the slow, steady dripping from my mother’s IV.      

“What do you mean, you’re dying?”

Multiple Sclerosis was, in short, a ***** of a disease. Somewhere along the span of my mother's 35 short years on this planet, her immune system made a giant mistake. For uncertain reasons, her body began to attack nerve cells, severely affecting her brain's processing ability and mobility. The only medication that had ever subdued the symptoms was beginning to **** her.

“It isn’t an immediate thing, Makayla. I still have plenty of time.”

Turning away from my mother, I wiped tears from my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to let my family see me cry. Absolutely no way. This was a joke. My mom was not going to die.

“Kayla, baby, talk to us. It’s okay.”

With a deep breath, I forced a smile, as I often did, and blinked away all traces of tears from my gray eyes. Turning around to meet my parents’ worried expressions, I simply nodded.

“How long?”

The question came out as more of a statement than a question. The morbid implication of those two short words spoke worlds louder than any words I could muster.

“5 years, at the absolute worst.”

At that, I stood, and left. I ran, and ran, and ran. I ran until my lungs hurt, and then kept running. But no matter where or how fast I went, I knew I could not escape the horrible reality of the matter.

The woman who gave me life was losing hers.

I was always the type of person who knew how to talk my way out of any situation.

And this time, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

There’s no sweet-talking death.

And with that, I began to accept her demise, and my defeat.

///

The first sip burned my esophagus, and I felt the blaze continue to my stomach, where it left a lasting warmth. I coughed a little, as the hazy feeling of drunkenness set in, setting my head spinning and my insides ablaze.

The past two months (52 days, 4 hours, and 30-something seconds) were a continuous downward spiral into a constant intoxicated state. Instead of addressing my feelings in the endless sea of counseling sessions and semi-sympathetic family therapy hours, I isolated myself. When my mother asked how I was, my reply remained the usual, “Doing great, mom.”

I was not, in fact, doing great. The alcohol wrapped itself into me, braided itself within my better sense, and I began to let myself fall apart. The wall I so often hid behind, the wall of perfection, of cool, was crumbling. Short, yet deep cuts lined my thighs, just high enough to be hidden by the hem of my shorts.

My mother had the opportunity to save her own life. Russian research had found a possible cure for the disease that had been plaguing her very existence. 3 weeks of chemotherapy, followed by a few months of intensive care, and she would be normal once again.

My mother denied the treatment.

“Too much money,” she said.

“Too inconvenient,” she said.

Compared to the life of my mother, no amount of money nor convenience mattered.

I was furious.

I was drunk.

///

My mind swam, speech slurred, fingers trembled.

My phone sat in front of me, propped up on a gray tissue box, which had been halfway expended due to that night’s waterworks. The Coca-Cola can which held my ***/coke concoction was long past empty. I was drunk, and screaming words like ‘sorry’ and ‘doesn’t deserve this’ into a pillow. I knew my mother deserved to live. Compared to me, she was a saint. I felt empty and pathetic. I deserved to die.

I convinced myself that maybe if I did something extreme, she would value her own life more than she did.

I held tightly onto the railing of my house’s only set of stairs, as I attempted to keep my balance. I walked drunkenly to the medicine cabinet, careful not to make noise and wake my parents. I grabbed as many pill bottles as I could carry.

Exactly 41 pills of assorted shapes, sizes, and colors sat in lines on my bed. Small to large, rainbow order. The comfort of organization wasn’t helping this time. I wanted to die.

Before starting my buffet of medication, my phone lit up. One new text.

“I know you were feeling upset earlier, and I just wanted to remind you that you are special. You matter.” I instantly felt even ******* for what I was about to do.

I laid down in bed, beginning to drown in my own tears, and let myself fall asleep.

Neither I nor my mother would be dying tonight.
Leigh Jun 2015
As you speak careful words they fan out
From your lips to soak adoring souls -
You paint their cages with a message of escape
And you reach between bars to warm the
Cold cheeks of the lowly.

As you search for the people behind
Translucent skin you spare a kiss -
Guiding them out, granting them
The freedom you pen in never-ending
Spirals on unsheathed arms.

It wasn't you who promised your crown.

We all grew to take more than we deserved.
Osiria Melody Mar 16
I. The Neighbor
Eyes, two immaculate, circular egg-whites
Donning uncanny egg yolks,
Captures a commotion like a camera from afar

II. The Parents
Indecipherable words blurred with alcohol’s embrace
Battered, ****** knuckles striking “I hate you”
against her–helpless
She strikes him back like a match set ablaze
Bird-like screeches pierce the air from the depths of his cruelty

III. The Parents’ Child
Tomato-red ball bounces like a rabbit, gliding across the grainy pavement
Young child, innocent and carefree, bolts toward the ball with thunderous feet
Suddenly, a shock of lightning, blinding like the sun,
Obscures the child's vision (a car)
Ear-splitting burst of impact interrupts the neighborhood
Time took off from the ground, sending the child forward like an airplane, limbs airborne
Not an emergency landing, but an imminent one
Her severed head rolls down the road like a bowling ball
Body splatters across the neighbor's yard, sprinkler watery guts

IV. The Father
His mash potato knuckles, battered, raises into the air as if in protest
A visage ridden with contrition, contorts
Tears stream down his face like missiles (his daughter just died)
An explosion of resentment overcomes him (shock, pure shock)

V. The Mother
She, bloodied by his knuckles
Yelps in determination (she blames her daughter’s death on him)
She slams him with all of her will, ensuring his impending death (he’s a goner for sure)

IV. The Father
Now in supine position, mutters an inaudible “sorry” to his wife with an imploring gaze, asking forgiveness
As she watches him expire, grotesquely smiles (he deserved this)

V. The Mother
Sprinting from the scene, red and blue sirens, whirl and whistle endlessly, audible torture
She loses touch with balance, falling head-first to the selfish ground, forcefully embracing her
Crown splits open like a watermelon, its juicy contents ingratiate
itself onto the neighbor's yard (the grass looks green and red like a watermelon now)

I. The Neighbor
Processing this ghastly ghastly scene, succumbs to Death’s embrace from shock

VI. The Family
A fatal and unforeseen tragedy
Broke the silence in this town of tranquility



Melody
3/16/19
I drew my inspiration from witnessing a happy family taking a stroll in a park.
Johnny walker Dec 2018
18th of December I'll be lighting a candle for Helen at a special ceremony held for loved ones lost, to remember Helen for wonderful years she
gave and our lovely son she gifted me
and
simply for the
the  beautiful person she was, a wonderful wife and as a mother, you couldn't  ask for more someone who was loved by all who knew her, Helen never asked anything for herself and will be always remembered
Lighting a candle for Helen to show her the respect she so richly deserves for all she did In life asking nothing for self
Lily May 2015
You deserved a long goodbye,
a long and tight hug to force out tears
and maybe un-stifle our hearts.

The words, I love you,
had me in a choke hold.

Two friends,
who hurt
each other
like lovers.

I tried to be an automaton; stolid faced,
but I lost my grace.

I wish now that
I had remembered
to come up for air.
Or remembered,
that it was through open hearts
that we entered each other's lives
so long ago.

Maybe I did not love you at all,
because I didn't try to hold on to you.

Maybe I loved you too much,
& maybe that is why I let you go.

Now I just want to know:
How do you open at the close?
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