"derp" poems
If a deity's power is based around the faith put in that entity I have a new pantheon to propose.
Giggles and Fun
A gay couple and first because there is not one person here who has not done something just for fun or just for giggles, period you may not have said it but your actions at some point have been dedicated to fun or giggles, fear and respect them.
Godamit & ****
Anytime anything goes wrong one of these to is to blame, sometimes **** will get you laid but that may not be a good thing seeing as 1 in 4 people has ****** and that's just one of the many incurable venereals you may pick up *******
Left and Right
Subjective and relative are Left and Right maybe its a little more to one or the other or maybe you need to turn to one of them at the light we lean heavily on them to know our way around and to make things worth looking at when you get to were your going.
Science
The first single god and the most active, constantly provides evidence for his powers, just wants to be understood, some would say he hopelessly flirts with reality but that's another story.
Reality
Well she's vain self centered and materialistic, reality checks, reality TV and any who ever said get real gave her power but she's getting on in years and may soon concede her secrets to the advances of science.
Please and Thanks
Often thought to be ageing and weary these two are just as spry as ever having traded quantity for quality, the rigmarole of formal worship with the passion of devout praise, one thing certain if you call out to one of these two in this day and age you mean it and with the change even sarcasm seems to be laying off.
Sarcasm and Irony
Once amongst the top tier traded quality for quantity and what passes as comedy now days has all but killed them, with derp irony and that **** from work who still says please and thanks like with that snide sarcastic tone and a wince of disgust maybe a snort, ****
Love and Hate
The definition of a love, hate relationship, again trading quality for quantity with sarcasm feeding off them like a leach on raw pork it may be time for a change or an end to love and hate.
Demigods include but are not limited to.
**** No & Yes, Hi & Bye, Good, Forgot, **** UWhtM8 & blighter...
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 11:37 AM UTC
King of the park is my little paper lion
he struts his stuff like he owns the world
prowls and growls
rubbing and snubbing
while he eats from is little pink bowl
But he is KING!!
king in his own back yard
his eyes amber and black
as he stealthily creeps
beautifully lean
prowling unseen
dangerously mean
ever so fluffy
and oh so virile
so powerful too
leaving his mark
rubbing the bark
so very King!
*'So watch me human,
watch me be magnificent
as i pounce on this butterfly'*
"yes.. you are a magnificient derp nugget"
Oh but he does have a nasty streak
attack and retreat
spitting and clawing
meowing and mawing
as his grey fur stands on end
and bristles
like a bottle brush
and the lazy lion thing
is lazily lounging
after a busy night on the town
spreading his affection
in every direction
he is now king of the chair
king of the cushion
he is declared triumphantly
throughout the land
fanfare please
"THE SOFA KING .. all hail the SOFA KING!"(annoying feline)
oh dear.. my little paper lion..
believing he is king
king of the jungle
'But i am king!
aren't i human?
okay well,
just of the park maybe
but i am a little bit king- ish.... aren't i?'
silly little pouty McWhiskerface
what a pity
fluffy little kitty
just make your self pretty
pouting and sulking
"Now that is no way for a king to behave
now let me fluff your cushion
while you drink your milk and eat your Dreamies"
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 10:30 AM UTC
“We’re cleared for takeoff,” the pilot announced, “settle in, our flight time to Atlanta will be 9 hours.”
The Gulfstream roared down the runway and in a moment the tops of trees flashed by. We climbed quickly, and banked. Paris dwindled, the Seine became a string of blue, the world a patchwork of colors before we punched through a layer of hair-like cirrus clouds.
My roommates and friends were all a-chatter as we lined up on the runway but as we ascended, they grew quiet.
Thoughts of Peter ran through me and gripped me like a serpent. The last time I saw him he was dressed in a summer outfit I bought him - a short-sleeve, pale-pastel-plaid seersucker shirt, kentucky-derby breaker shorts, pop color flip flops and a straw fedora. His sweet-face was all grin, he looked like a deck gillespie. Meow.
When I think about Peter, my skin tickles, my pulse accelerates, I’m confuddled. I think about the disturbance that moved through the air between us when we met. We were strangers, but a magnetic flux seemed to roll off him and break against me.
I didn’t let it show. I drew in, looked away and became quiet. What else could I do? Later, when I described it to Sunny, our meeting seemed like nothing. When I described it to Lisa, it sounded like too much.
Of course, my choices must be consistent with my ambitions, but I want Peter to come to Athens, so badly. He was a human placebo, for me, in otherwise stressful times. Now I want to be with him without school pressures - to see what that’s like - and get closer, a lot closer.
I don’t want commitment, but I’m saturated with desire. All I want is a fun July or August - with him. I seldom reveal the businesslike hardness I have buried inside. I want this and I’m ready for derp.
Peter worries - about money, about gender roles, social positions and what’s apposite. I don’t care about any of that. I want to give him a free month, like an amazing gift. He’s so male, so deceptively complicated, fragile and intoxicating.
I really need to think about this, and work it out - HA! - like I can think of anything else.
Jul 3, 2022
Jul 3, 2022 at 8:58 AM UTC
Look what we have gotten into,
Just this insane and scary mess,
All of these tears of sorrow,
And this heavy load of stress.
Our elders won't understand,
How much we love one another,
They start to yell and get mad,
That's why we call them "mother".
They punish us together,
'Cause I know we both deserve it,
People say love is hard,
But I know that it is worth it.
When I'm with you my heart skips,
Just the sight of you makes me smile,
Any moment with you is endless,
Even just for a little while.
Soon we can be on our own,
These moments that I ache for,
Just any time to spend with you,
Makes me yearn for much much more.
No matter what all happens,
Or if the good becomes the bad,
Know that I'll be there always,
To make you smile and get glad.
Oh the silly things we do,
Just to make each other grin,
Even getting into trouble,
We may loose, but love will always win.
So I've come to the conclusion,
That our love will conquer through,
Because if I lost my dork,
I don't know what I would do.
You gave me something special,
And I thought it was real clever,
I just about teared up,
And I will cherish it forever.
However many poems I write,
Or letters from the heart,
No words could explain how I feel,
From the beginning or the start.
Excuse me as I ramble,
But I really must go on,
About how I love you so much,
Way more than just a ton.
I wish I could be in your arms,
Feeling the warmth of your embrace,
Where I would close my eyes and think,
"This is my happy place".
I love you with all I have,
And you're forever in my mind,
Don't let silly things like this,
Kick you in the behind.
I won't get mad at you ever,
And remember this you shall,
I am so honored to have you,
As my lover and my pal.
So it is getting kind of late,
And I hope you're sleeping well,
I will stick with you forever,
Even if we go through hell.
I don't know how to stop this,
But I'll do the best I can
'Cause I'll do anything for you,
My sweet and loving man.
I think I'll end this poem good,
And please agree with me,
That It'll make you smile,
As you find it rather cheesy.
The roses I know are red,
And I know the violets are blue,
You're my super derp-y dork,
And of course... I love you!
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
A stark realization.
I'm, for lack of a better word, obsessed with South Park.
Not like collectables, clothing, or other cluttered stuff.
But like ingrained into my personality, seriously, like a face hugger planting seeds in my core. Hatching into satirical, political, ridiculous obsession
Half my inside jokes.
The majority of my random noises.
Sewn within my vocabulary.
Constantly murmuring on the TV like old friends at dinner.
In my achievement list on Steam.
On my blu-ray shelf.
Gently nudging me with phone notifications to collect my free pack.
Definitely used in comparisons at work.
Equally tearing down the walls of anyone and everyone.
I eat it up.
Jul 10, 2019
Jul 10, 2019 at 10:19 PM UTC
I could never stop at just one tattoo
To signify you, if
I started,
Because each tribute could
Never come close to the greatest
Symbol:
My skin;
You're in the wrist without scar lines,
The arm without needle tracks,
The dent in my smile,
My mini half dimple and
Every laughter line I could never erase
Frankly, my dear,
You complete my face.
So any tribute;
Any Scorpion
Moth
Pokeball Rose
quote,
Or aptly chosen sloth,
Would never come close to the
Gaps in-between:
You're every drop of blood that has not spilled
You're the heartbeat I couldn't
Still, because your face
Was too hurt in my head.
You're in the fact that I'm not dead.
So, in a way, there's no point etching you into my skin , my derp,
Because, you're already, irrevocably,
There.
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 9:07 AM UTC
This pumice really rubs me the wrong way.
Matadors moisturize with oil of ole.
Heidegger has moves like Jagger.
Any critic - Jaeger; Typhoid Mary - plaguer.
Who's the top chef that goes derpa derp derp?
Wyatt Earp.
I'll drain the swamp like Dagobah's.
A Clovis Person. Legolas.
The nipple's best on chicken breast.
Pin that on your Pinterest. To show all the dispossesed.
Witness Godwin's Law at work:
****** you're a ****
Pick up the phone and call Cthulu.
Get hung up on by Shaka Zulu.
Chalupa mis huevos, says the chihuahua.
Hey Tarzan. Ungawa.
Jesus walked across Titicaca.
Crane thinks the Bridge is over.
Biddy bah bah.
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 12:43 AM UTC
I saw her almost every day.
But my confidence... It wouldn't let me say anything.
She was cut out of my fantasy,
and dangled right in front of me.
On a perfect high,
Euphoria led me to her in a tunnel of light.
And color.
Opening to rumor.
"I hear she's got it out for you."
I highly doubt that.
But still I wander through material mazes.
To catch a glimpse of you,
In navy and khaki.
And when I did?
The moment came and went,
So fast I don't remember what we said.
But I couldn't leave it at that.
So I ran around Wal Mart,
Just trying to get your attention.
I asked for your number,
You said your phone was broke.
****** Koty! You ****** up!
Your a derp.
That's all you'll ever be.
There's no interest and I promise you she,
Was only trying to spare,
Your feelings.
So take a step back.
This is just getting embarrassing.
But I don't care.
Because my friends on my front step,
Mistake her for an angel when they stand her shadow.
I don't care.
Because my friends on my front step,
Mistake her for an angel when they stand her shadow.
Can I lie in your shadow?
Can I lie in your shadow?
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013 at 7:17 PM UTC
Love is like a Rain
That suddenly appears of nowhere
That suddenly changes your entire life
A rain that wraps with soft voice as well as sadness
Love is like a river
Always flows from you
You dont need to touch
But always embraces you when you are alone
Love is like a mountain
You reach the highest thing or experience that you less expect
Love is like a spot light
The one that shines so bright
And there I saw YOU
Love is like a wind
It blows and appears in front of you
Out of somewhere else
Love is like a sip of coffee
When you just relax at the coffee shop
There's a mystery that blooms around your table
Love is like a thorn of roses
You always end up hurting yourself
But in just ordinary day
There's someone who will comfort you out of the blue
Love is like a piece of puzzle
You always struggle if you can't fix it
But when you know you are falling you always
end up smiling for a reason
Love is like a puzzle
You like and love two persons
You end up confusing your mind
But have you realize the most important person
with you is just next to you?
Love is like a derp
You like to do silly things
Someone makes you laugh and happy out of a
reason that it made your day
Love is like a big crap
You are stupid falling in love
Love is like an ice cream
You need to lick it before it melt
Love is like a mosquito
Once it bites you
You can never escape it
Love is like a handkerchief
Someone held you a hand while you are weeping and sobbing
So destiny comes and save you
Love is Patient
Love is kind
Love is sad
Love is painful
Love is bitter and a sweet memories
Love is a happiness to be found
Cause Love is Y.O.U.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 12:59 AM UTC
Derp derp derp derp derp
Derp derp derp derp derp derp derp
Derp derp derp derp derp
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 23, 2015 at 1:27 PM UTC
chirp-i-derp chickadee!
flee across the sea with me to seek foreign fantasies,
we won't need anything but our hands our feet our lips reaching.
kick the dust up and make a ruckus,
we were born to spit fire.
funny thing, desire, always takes you into the inferno,
burning the whole, cleanse and resew the form from hollowness.
in all of this we are but sand in the wind,
minuscule molecules floating on the whims of something much greater.
so I plan on claiming myself, and naming myself
captain.
I plan to trust my intuition to bring all my wildest dreams to fruition.
because what is life worth if I concede to to bow and serve the scemes of men who believe they deserve to hold power over me - HA!
as if anyone could mold me hold me fold me up into cookie-cutter slots.
I spit on you!
catch me if you can, big brother,
you might take my body but you'll never touch my soul,
she's already soaring through saturn's rings,
slinging sapphires round to isis and winking at the moon,
being rewoven through the mother's loom,
knit back into the cosmic womb.
now begin again.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 7:46 PM UTC
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Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014 at 3:08 PM UTC
Charlie was my pet rat.
She died in my arms this morning.
Her birthday was a week away and even though I knew she was old and frail nothing could have prepared me for it.
My boyfriend found her leaning against the side of her cage confused.
I had no idea how long she had been like that.
I held her for hours while I waited for my mom to take us to the vet to say goodbye.
She had a stroke so half of her body didn't work, she didn't have control of her tongue or left eye.
After a few minutes she seemed less confused as she recognized my scent and heartbeat.
Since her eyelids didn't work anymore I had to help her blink.
Her tongue didn't work so I slowly let water and yogurt run down her throat so she wouldn't be dehydrated or hungry.
This was the first time we ever cuddled, she never slowed down enough to be held for longer than a couple minutes
She was the reason a group of rats are called mischief
If there was trouble.to get into you know she'd be leading everyone else to it.
She would be your best friend if you shared your food and would still love you when you didn't
She loved her chin scratched and tried to eat my **** a few times.
Even at the end of her life she'd still chitter her teeth and boggle every time I'd put my lips to her little forehead.
Even in death her beautiful soul and pure love lit up the room
She passed a couple seconds after my mom walked through my front door.
After I took her to the vet to get her paw prints he promised me she went peacefully.
That she felt no pain and the DMT in her brain made sure she was happy.
At least she wasn't alone.
I hiked into the mountains walking down the river with my best friend in a box till I found the spot her old friends were buried.
As I write this that spot and moment feels so far away.
Like it was some ghost of myself that held her through the seizures and that covered her body in dirt.
I feel like my spirit left with hers.
Her love, like all animals was pure.
She never loved because of what I gave to her, she loved me for me.
She was my Charlie, my Char char, my charbean, my little ragdoll, my food *** my little derp, and occasionally my little ******** She was my optimism and the silver lining to every bad day. But most importantly she was my baby and I promised to love her forever and even though she is gone I will always keep my promise.
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 9:56 PM UTC
I'm sorry.
I promise I'm not this dense in real life.
It's just
When in your presence
I lose my mind.
With just your eyes
You catch my tongue
And my wit is lost to me.
Feb 10, 2013
Feb 10, 2013 at 12:58 PM UTC
derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp oh and btwz tacoz taste delicous more than i know tacos taste so good i shove them up my nose
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018 at 11:52 AM UTC