This morning i watched Jeremy kyle!
Another father in a useless denile!
Another ***** with the width of a bar stool,
Chucks another father in with the disgusting gene pool.

Miserable forlorn Cattle going to slaughter,
Have more class than your abhorent daughter!
The pity i feel for that wretched child,
Thats bought up in a system that's been defiled.

The onlookers cheer as another ****** makes a jest.
About the poor man shes been using is clothed in some ill fitting vest.
Well done contestant three,
You have proved to us the ***** you can be!

Now please take your rapid leave,
Before we call your **** or boyfriend Steve.
That you've been sleeping with your cousin,
And no doubt have his bun in your oven!

Dance in dark
Delight in days
Revel in reality slipping slowly to the gray.
Inky black comfort dripping into haze.

Distraught in denile
Damaged in disdain
Rememberd reason trembeling in shadows to the grave.
Nervous the edge of sanity sinking slowly below the brave.

Cringe in quiet
Crumble in cacophony
Bask in benign indifference to the coming of the fray.
Shape the broken mold into which is squezed the clay.

Form in function
Friction in fruition
Extrapolate from nothing what is real of what is fake.
Drive doom through the heart wooden to the stake.

Damaged and distroyed, disturbed and distrought, this is the friction of the fraught.

A river I love
Despite never going to Egypt
I live on the river denial
I denial so much
I denied reality
I denied sorrow
It has helped
A great deal
Or so I like to claim

Flawed eventless, the muck to the mire
To the river crimson with lustful haze.
Supressed desire flows like light, rapture to the gaze.
Feverd, clamy, tossing, turning
Lying wrestless on the floor.
Sarrow slips, through the cracks,
to come smashing through the door.

Famin parched, the scream to the cry,
to the path trampled in fits of rage.
Unrelenting fire, burns like ice, denile in a cage.
Calm, relaxed, watching, breathing,
Standing idle at the sash.
Anguish waits at beck and call
to come crashing  through the glass.

Hidden in a seamless world of delight and joy and glee
A fractured cloud of misery waits
to have its cake and thee,
to reval as it sulks with company.
Ever growing spawned by fear, deathly silent in its' plea
Eating away at the sinews of faith,
dispair awaits its' time to flea.

Akin to death, friend to evil, slient screaming in its' vain
Dissolving with trust the passion of the lust
Envy plies to its bain.
Passion and fire, burning desire, these monsters are not the same.
All too familiar, confusing just the same, betrayed by flesh.
What is there cannot be had, for surely this is no game.

Off to the sunset
where my dreams lay at rest
and the escape to my
once and final test.

To leave behind the place
of everything I knew
the love I tried to find,
but did not find in you.

With any luck you'll
miss me, my smile.
Regret my loss of spirit
without the harsh denile.

But I leave the land
today, drenched in the rain.
To a place of greater hope,
never seen again.

I don't blame you
niether do I blame them
I don't blame history
though they are a scandalous
trend
I don't blame friends
niether I my family
but sometimes
my finger keeps poking on the enemy
I don't blame my job
cause my man yelps after I draw out his honey
I don't blame the government
for conspiracy theory and force of democrocy
But I can't seem to understand the not knowing of the ****** of Pac and Biggie

o_O

I don't blame God but I guess I am in total shame of denile
Politics are an excuse for judgement on oneself when all we need to do is get up off our donkey ***** and get a job.

© S.T. Rebel of Eden

Oh it's been a while
Hide behind this smile
Larger than a pile
It goes for mile upon mile
Much more than denile
Maybe when I'm senile
This will all be a tile
When I was a child
I never thought this wild
Way beyond mild
I"m hiding behind this smile

denile
sure its possible

how much can one girl handle
ive questioned

far too much is in my head
afterall

at times its as if
i should crawl underneath my bed

curl up read a book
or just die

thats a simple alternative
so called plan

quite frankly.
i like it unscripted

life is no fun
if you predict it.

You ripped the heart right out of me,
You were the very death of me.
I went into denile to make it through,
Because I would not be the death of you.

I ran into the ground,
It was salt in the wound,
I died inside in utter silence,
Took up a razor just to try this,

My heart stopped when I saw your eyes,
Could it be you or just a disguise?
I tore apart myself,
Until there was just nothing left.

You left a hole where my heart should be,
You ripped the world away from me,
I have to deal with this change,
Even though it feels so strange,
I write this in my bed,
Just to point out the fact that you're dead.

I want to dig a trench six by two,
I want to stop and bury you,
I want to spend time with what remains,
I want to bury you to save my rotting brains,
I just want closure,
Now that its all over.
I want to feel your heartbeat with my hand,
Oh the splendor would be grand,
Your body inspires inquisite,
Your life was exquisite.
Then there was your death,
It took away my breath.
But I have to leave the life I knew,
And take some lies for true,
I must leave you behind,
And clear you out of my mind.
I must cleanse my soul,
And take control,
And forget the light that was you,
But all I want is to hold you.

I met a guy by the riverside and I was in Denile
He made me laugh he even kept my smile
He made my heart thump when he touched me twice
He stole my love when he read me his favorite book
He stole my heart when he made his first real poem deticated to me, and he confessed all his feelings
Our souls slowly became attached to each other as we got to know each other
And I realized,
His soft gentleness is slowly conquering my insides
By turning my ******* into marshmellos and daisies
I'm not even sure if I agreed to this
If I even wanted this
It's confusing to know what I want, I want him, and I don't feel the same with him
He changed me
Forever he
No, forever we
Are bound together in time

i read and reread telling myself i'm checking for grammatical errors
but really i'm just trying to get a glimpse into myself

i never quite meet my own eyes between the lines
and i wonder if it's even me behind the words
or just a keyboard trying to make sense of itself

i paint things gold quite often,
does that mean i hide my problems behind shiny coats of denile?

i overuse the word rot,
does that mean i'm just waiting to decompose, eaten by the mold of my own terrible decisions?

i used to say bones more than i said love,
does that mean i feel like a skeleton without a heart or soul? or maybe love is what wore me down till i was bare;

i used to say love more

it's like flicking through my old playlists

why do i only write when i feel like hiding? or rot? or bones?
i wish i could write when i felt like flying. or music. or even just

human

i graze the comments with a loving hand
thinking of all the people that broke in the same places
thinking of everyone feeling like rotten bones, hiding from their demons
and clinging to the hope that it was sympathy and not empathy
that brought them close to my wilting garden of poems

i hope

and every tear stained poem blends into the next
the ink bleeding

i look at the scars on my fingers and i see myself
i listen to my voice singing songs from an old playlist and i see myself
i feel the flesh covering my bones and i see myself

and i don't write it down

I want you to relise the bad choices you made
If you didn't treat me so wrong i would have stayed
I was deep in love but your true colours started to show
Manipulation was your invitation and making me feel so  low
You wanted the power and everything your own way
I started to see the darkness your love for me fade away
You held yourself up high
you throught your hold on me was strong
So self centered and in denile
you couldnt see you were  in the wrong
I grew tired of the lies
sick of all the games
Being used and abused and you calling me names
You just wanted me to be a slave
You wanted me to obey
But i started to notice you would belittling me
In everything you would say
You wanted to be a king
I wanted to be your queen
Not a loyal peasant
That you could demean
I wanted your love not a broken heart
But you must of had cruel intentions
set from the start