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"dellusion" poems
Two strangers pass both moving in seperate directions. Eye's tell the stories and give a glimpse like a windows from a highways view view apon a cold night's drive. Giving only a view of what seconds can make us belive. Two eye's meet a vision of a story not worthy of the first act of play. Perfume apon the wind. Her scent of jasmine blessed a stale evenings breeze. Two strangers pass speaking only a well ment hello but nothing more. Thoughts as they are give hope in a truely hopeless sense. Two strangers pass then fade into there live's. Never to meet again. And with a times movement the moment does all but vanish from thought. Two strangers passed who once held each other as lover's of secret with passion's covered in perfect dellusion. This night two seperate directions set the stage of my lives eternal traggic play. Two strangers passed to give what once burned so very deep. As fools these same two strangers gave it all away.
0
Jan 9, 2012
Jan 9, 2012 at 2:08 PM UTC
Two Strangers
How do you swindle the light? This would be the greatest grift. An ongoing experimental conn where we all remember, who the mark(s) is, pretending, just in case, behind the curtain, sleight of hand, behind the back, if there is no wizard in the back seat, just in case...you'll tell the kids: 'it was all for them.' So they could sleep. Childhoods are just safe houses for hope. In play roles come easy, in assortments, and unpackages, separate; but everyone knows the rules, their part, they remember that fairness is sacred to play. Some games get played and some gamers’ play is accidental. The game like the carnival is vacuous, inhaling all into its eye, exhaling into its calm, swindles like a carney, jettisoning all into the extinction of gratification. The mystery lies in the conspiracy. System can beat game, house, odds, conn the conn and you can go home a winner. The Universe is a big casino, you see. And all you have to do is get up from the table, cash in your chips, and figure out where your car is. The house always wins, you’ll say. But therein lies the reason we play. Which you're sure to figure out in the lot, cramped delineations garner thought, you'll realize that therein lies nowhere. The conspiracy lies in the abyss, A place where villagers lose their cattle, Costumed & uniformed, singing gray prayers. Crop circles are diasporic clusters of hope. Where science fiction invented the cold war, Between ghosts created by radio waves. A mass hallucination produced by trauma? Dellusion v. Illusion Nurturist v. Naturist v. Projection, As long as it’s a weapon! Destination unknown- But just in case, let’s create something that can destroy us all.
0
Oct 4, 2012
Oct 4, 2012 at 1:27 AM UTC
Just in Case
How do you swindle the light? This would be the greatest grift. An ongoing experimental conn where we all remember, who the mark(s) is, pretending, just in case, behind the curtain, sleight of hand, behind the back, if there is no wizard in the back seat, just in case...you'll tell the kids: 'it was all for them.' So they could sleep. Childhoods are just safe houses for hope. In play roles come easy, in assortments, and unpackages, separate; but everyone knows the rules, their part, they remember that fairness is sacred to play. Some games get played and some gamers’ play is accidental. The game like the carnival is vacuous, inhaling all into its eye, exhaling into its calm, swindles like a carney, jettisoning all into the extinction of gratification. The mystery lies in the conspiracy. System can beat game, house, odds, conn the conn and you can go home a winner. The Universe is a big casino, you see. And all you have to do is get up from the table, cash in your chips, and figure out where your car is. The house always wins, you’ll say. But therein lies the reason we play. Which you're sure to figure out in the lot, cramped delineations garner thought, you'll realize that therein lies nowhere. The conspiracy lies in the abyss, A place where villagers lose their cattle, Costumed & uniformed, singing gray prayers. Crop circles are diasporic clusters of hope. Where science fiction invented the cold war, Between ghosts created by radio waves. A mass hallucination produced by trauma? Dellusion v. Illusion Nurturist v. Naturist v. Projection, As long as it’s a weapon! Destination unknown- But just in case, let’s create something that can destroy us all.
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47
I had locked away my true thoughts and muzzled my true voice for far to long. Was it a character i desired to be? Were my words to be but a joke to break the awkward silence? When you start to be social only to lock yourself up to exist with your demons your becoming a dangerous person to yourself. My work once flowed now it sits half finished great starts stalled endings. My skills were learned from not the comic arena and i could imagine my journalist friends laughter mocking me even now. He's slipped finally lost in cheap jokes gone from anything that speak's of his true voice. The people didnt thirst to know John. for my well penned alter ego was the one they all knew and so blindly misunderstood. Old friends check in. Messages on my phone i'd sooner erase than respond to. Had I slipped in some form of insanity? Embracing dellusion to mask my failures in life? I was a writer ,A troublemaker and owner of laughs. A good time for many yet emptyness was my reallity. As from the TV screen reflected change and madness. For crazy is a close friend of chaos. I got in the game to make a mark but what was the price? A destroyed marriage a relationship heading into the very same direction. What had I become but some twisted monster and tormented soul. A sad afterthought to a sick joke. Deppresion can make us into something no mirror can truely reflect. The chamber stayed loaded the glass my curse seldom these days full. And what she wanted I could never give like sunsets red cast gold flaked embrace i was a moment. And moment's can't forever last. No child should know a madman's life. And a selfish bastard I knew was my role. Empty streets and smokey old bars were my path and what to anyone could i truley give? Pain was the fuel hours my sea to sail alone. The chamber was full but soon one would be missing. A tale cant be read untill it's finshed. We are but moments. And moments can't last forever.
0
Feb 12, 2011
Feb 12, 2011 at 10:32 AM UTC
Moments
I had locked away my true thoughts and muzzled my true voice for far to long. Was it a character i desired to be? Were my words to be but a joke to break the awkward silence? When you start to be social only to lock yourself up to exist with your demons your becoming a dangerous person to yourself. My work once flowed now it sits half finished great starts stalled endings. My skills were learned from not the comic arena and i could imagine my journalist friends laughter mocking me even now. He's slipped finally lost in cheap jokes gone from anything that speak's of his true voice. The people didnt thirst to know John. for my well penned alter ego was the one they all knew and so blindly misunderstood. Old friends check in. Messages on my phone i'd sooner erase than respond to. Had I slipped in some form of insanity? Embracing dellusion to mask my failures in life? I was a writer ,A troublemaker and owner of laughs. A good time for many yet emptyness was my reallity. As from the TV screen reflected change and madness. For crazy is a close friend of chaos. I got in the game to make a mark but what was the price? A destroyed marriage a relationship heading into the very same direction. What had I become but some twisted monster and tormented soul. A sad afterthought to a sick joke. Deppresion can make us into something no mirror can truely reflect. The chamber stayed loaded the glass my curse seldom these days full. And what she wanted I could never give like sunsets red cast gold flaked embrace i was a moment. And moment's can't forever last. No child should know a madman's life. And a selfish bastard I knew was my role. Empty streets and smokey old bars were my path and what to anyone could i truley give? Pain was the fuel hours my sea to sail alone. The chamber was full but soon one would be missing. A tale cant be read untill it's finshed. We are but moments. And moments can't last forever.
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49
Calculated or spontaneous movements, both quiet and loud We are who we're becoming, we were born to be proud But pride has this level, pride has this curse Pride has this tendency of making matters worse Pride is crucial and necessary, but pride causes pain Pride is fear of losing one's edge and in turn losing potential for gain But do we really have an edge, or just a lackluster illusion? What's this feeling that keeps us inside this self-securing dellusion? Sometimes I wonder if just for a day, I took all my pride and threw it away? If I said all the words I've ever thought to say, would I see things start to go my way? If I stopped telling myself the world can't see me without a mask Creating a vision of openness, while leaving vulnerability all in the past While I'm strong, and strongly convicted to my honesty I'd rather lie wholeheartedly, than admit I feel weak Because remember that word, that strange hovering boulder That tells you to take your welcoming heart, and make it turn colder But what can we say when pride keeps us safe? Really what can we do? Whenever I've tried to push it aside, I've felt things that felt together unglue If the stakes don't matter than prides not a factor, we know what to bring Yet we'll sit where we are, afraid to move for anything worth anything I'm hoping one day, I find a new way to keep my soul safe That I'll stay proud of who I am but not too proud to try That I’ll look back to how I used to hold back and I'll be laughing I'm starting to have faith, stranger things have happened
0
Apr 9, 2018
Apr 9, 2018 at 1:12 AM UTC
Pride
Calculated or spontaneous movements, both quiet and loud We are who we're becoming, we were born to be proud But pride has this level, pride has this curse Pride has this tendency of making matters worse Pride is crucial and necessary, but pride causes pain Pride is fear of losing one's edge and in turn losing potential for gain But do we really have an edge, or just a lackluster illusion? What's this feeling that keeps us inside this self-securing dellusion? Sometimes I wonder if just for a day, I took all my pride and threw it away? If I said all the words I've ever thought to say, would I see things start to go my way? If I stopped telling myself the world can't see me without a mask Creating a vision of openness, while leaving vulnerability all in the past While I'm strong, and strongly convicted to my honesty I'd rather lie wholeheartedly, than admit I feel weak Because remember that word, that strange hovering boulder That tells you to take your welcoming heart, and make it turn colder But what can we say when pride keeps us safe? Really what can we do? Whenever I've tried to push it aside, I've felt things that felt together unglue If the stakes don't matter than prides not a factor, we know what to bring Yet we'll sit where we are, afraid to move for anything worth anything I'm hoping one day, I find a new way to keep my soul safe That I'll stay proud of who I am but not too proud to try That I’ll look back to how I used to hold back and I'll be laughing I'm starting to have faith, stranger things have happened
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24
I try to write a poem To let go all of my emotions But, I felt so empty So lifeless No inspiration in my head I put the pen on the paper A blank paper That should be filled By beautiful words that can't be forgotten I just can't imagine One single words That fit in my feelings That will bring that poem to perfection My brains felt so empty My ears can't hear anything from this frustation All the voices suddenly gone Numb..... Filled my soul I just can't let it go I wish I can change the past But I'm afraid to the future Yes, a broken heart mess me up I can't let the pandemonium in my head calmed down Burried by the anger, the frustation Locked deep inside my heart All my inspiration Thought it was dellusion All the nightmares haunted my life All my beautiful thought turns to dust I wish..... We could get back together I promise I will find you, I will safe you From the eternal loss
0
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 15, 2013 at 10:47 AM UTC
Lifeless
there, in those strawberry fields of dreaming- those blooms of a season long since dead and torched-      i swore i found you and you were speaking sweetly in a smokey room with a crescent smile and a cheap long-neck bottle and a blue ball-point pen that you'd only pry from it's waltzing      to chuckle with (and charm) the bartender an older lady with muddy-water curls and poision ivy eyes      and...there's something about her that reminds me of my mom... then the moment's gone and now, all i can wonder is how it is that she's counting change when she hasn't got any fingers the captain must be on the mic again with ******** banter about the weather      or our eventual destination      or something about the turbulence to calm the unfortunate un-drugged his monotone monotony sneaking through my sleep to me      and coming through like the voice of the radio host      as my head's beneath tepid bathwater your ellegance uneffected by his audible intrusion into my sub-concious dellusion      you pull at the tides of your brew      and wink then back to a busy pen      i have to get to you you've got to remember    come back but dreams don't work like that it's as if my feet don't match my body or my legs are facing backward or i'm in that godforsaken hallway scene of "The Shining"      and i'm finding this to be far more frustrating      than remaining concious through the flight could have ever been and again somewhere over nebraska the ride gets increasingly shaky      not obnoxious enough to wake me      just enough to take me to the part of the nightmare      where my teeth start falling out           like precious little gems of vicodin and nicorrette                t a p p i n g out my fragile skull and now i'm wearing some bloody-gummed grin and that charming lounge is feeling like "From Dusk Till Dawn" and all of the friendly faces are gone      except for yours           and you look horrified how come now i've got your attention? touchdown at o'hare and i wake in the window seat next to a vacant chair      alive and well except that you're not there and to think      when i was a kid           my nightmares all had fearsome beasts then i grew up           and found the monster to be me
0
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013 at 9:11 PM UTC
the flight-plan of a dream.
there, in those strawberry fields of dreaming- those blooms of a season long since dead and torched-      i swore i found you and you were speaking sweetly in a smokey room with a crescent smile and a cheap long-neck bottle and a blue ball-point pen that you'd only pry from it's waltzing      to chuckle with (and charm) the bartender an older lady with muddy-water curls and poision ivy eyes      and...there's something about her that reminds me of my mom... then the moment's gone and now, all i can wonder is how it is that she's counting change when she hasn't got any fingers the captain must be on the mic again with ******** banter about the weather      or our eventual destination      or something about the turbulence to calm the unfortunate un-drugged his monotone monotony sneaking through my sleep to me      and coming through like the voice of the radio host      as my head's beneath tepid bathwater your ellegance uneffected by his audible intrusion into my sub-concious dellusion      you pull at the tides of your brew      and wink then back to a busy pen      i have to get to you you've got to remember    come back but dreams don't work like that it's as if my feet don't match my body or my legs are facing backward or i'm in that godforsaken hallway scene of "The Shining"      and i'm finding this to be far more frustrating      than remaining concious through the flight could have ever been and again somewhere over nebraska the ride gets increasingly shaky      not obnoxious enough to wake me      just enough to take me to the part of the nightmare      where my teeth start falling out           like precious little gems of vicodin and nicorrette                t a p p i n g out my fragile skull and now i'm wearing some bloody-gummed grin and that charming lounge is feeling like "From Dusk Till Dawn" and all of the friendly faces are gone      except for yours           and you look horrified how come now i've got your attention? touchdown at o'hare and i wake in the window seat next to a vacant chair      alive and well except that you're not there and to think      when i was a kid           my nightmares all had fearsome beasts then i grew up           and found the monster to be me
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61
Sunsets cast my vision seldom have you seemed more than I can describe. Moonlit memories are great dellusion for we bask in idle tides time often changes view. A clocks steady rythm counts my empty hours pace. Rain tonight will you wash it clean yet one last time? Old friends and new bottels cast the tide to carry all away but me. It was passion now its more like regret. Even demoms have to sleep sometime so when shall I? Night clubs tight skirts paint the picture i'd raher make the scene than write the finish. Traps often lure with the sweetest perfume. Maybe I choose it all wrong accept you. A jazz bands logic in a semi broken soul. Will we ever connect for my own sake? It's taken me so far no longer can view the shore have i finally drifted to far? They share my company but never my soul Im just counting the hours sweetheart till its my turn to bid farewell. But roads lead to many ways. But I have to question will they lead you my way again. Old fools were once young dreamers can you still hear me through the haze ive grown to call my voice? The song always brings me back. But my aim was seldom true. Someday seems like sometime i'll never drift by again. So I'll wait as always in this scene im to screwd up to escape. Sweetest kiss fire never dies. But passions are but a glimmer of the emptyness ive grown to call myself. Times a dream from which I choose not to wake. I'll always be around my dear. In one half out of it form or another.
0
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012 at 3:22 PM UTC
Still I Stand
Page unwritten hand never to be played. Outcasts sitting at center stage. When you never showed love. It's no need to question why no one ever stayed. And you never wondred and new better to ask. Cause people grew tired of the game. And you of the mask. Deep emotin with which like overgrown children we play. Gone in a second. Was it love or just another day. Torn sails endless flow. Blocks and miles.citys and backroads. Like any flock we scatter. Only to lose track the futher we go. Dellusion speaks well amoungnst friends. You see it's the last farewell. But with truth in are thoughts everyone pretends. Are you okay everyone does ask. You give a expected reply. And slip into oblivian slowley fading behind your mask.
0
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 10, 2010 at 5:38 PM UTC
The Mask We Choose
Were all crazy the dreamers the broken like children left behind sad eyes are but windows cast in pain. that hurt we share as some will hide it away. Ive taken the matter in deep thoughts and echos of brillance. Only to see it die as a spark from cold winters fire. Alone you here the sadness in the most gentle key. As it wispers for the broken. Down alleys side streets to lonley old souls who yern just for someone to speak with to share but are met with only rejection left to count the hours. The clocks rythm taps slowey asking the emptyness to waste in thought only to bask in dellusion. Like a snow globe were caught in a vortex of a isolated storm. Yerning for a release the bed is a coffin frozen are the covers as the thought lingers if only it had gone another way. But dreamers are gamblers and in the warmth of good hand theres always a lonley heart that had to fold. The man in the street looks to other as others look through him. Afraid the curse may catch but in his eye's i see myself. And in myself I see a victem of another bad hand. Alone I know you in that place few will dare to search. The cavern of thought is but my asylum of emptyness And the clock's rythm keeps time in the key of night.
0
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010 at 9:31 PM UTC
The Rythm Of Emptyness/The Still Night Sessions
And so in shadow I cast the light aside to conceal my truth. The clone of another given no remorse will you forgive a torture cast lie? I have no pain only a burden of half empty regret. A streetlight's courage a trail of the alley dare we view areselves for the imperfections. And give little reason towards a jaded view. Im the other that never understands a life I cant exist for you may we suggest someone more fake to guide you there? Broken bones and wicked thoughts embrace my vessel called this dark soul. Drown in your demons lets cast are chances in a tender hell's fire. Chaos my brother and for his friend reason Ive lost everything that tends to ******* care. It's better to bury your thoughts befor other's dig them up. Times a ***** that seldom waits. In the darkness it's a peaceful rampage. Lets forget a future and **** are past. Give in to my sweetest addiction fire often leaves us yerning for more. The path is there tracks the arm to forget your flaws. I ask no quarter for I will exist till a bitter end. Cast stones towards thoose who care. And drown in the truth of madness I have no time to pretend. It lingers in my reason and I hate it as lovers **** the pressent to bask in dellusion. Mock me if you must and see the emptyness thats been painted gray as storm cast evenings reprise. Pulled in seconds it will all be clear. You can never understand what has never truely been here.
0
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012 at 1:48 PM UTC
Dark Chambers Often I Confide
When you know the answer then why wait for the question? maybe it was just to make her squirm in that last sense of right I knew all that was wrong. She knew it would hurt and so she avoidng the words. Hiding her own happiness to allow me my dellusion tinged misery. At the table the candle slowley burned casting a glow only causing the shadows to stir. We spoke more in silence than in words. My male ego feuding with itself. Yerning to cause the pain that was already eating at me secrets burn a hole in the rational mind. You ***** I imagined yelling causing only me to appear more of a fool than I already was. But the silence said it all. Sliding the drink aside looking into the eyes i could never truley understand. And in my loss i saw the beauthy and saw her emptyness with me she would only know. the moonlight reflected apon the water is but a reflection of what we need only look up to see. It takes love to say goodbye. as outside in the nights air we needed that last embrace to remind us of the emptyness that we shared. Into her eyes I gazed as within her soul I spoke. No false hope tasted within that kiss. As paths part life does change and the chapter is closed. The happy lie tempted my heart as she vanished into her life. Perfume cast her scent as the pen kissed the page. the ghost's off memory haunt me eternal. But never was is my life. As my love yerns more for what her's could be. The darkness my home always tempted with the promise of light. Closed is that fragment of heart. As the candle's apon the table slowley kissed the darkness as trail's of smoke trace the scene. I knew it was over befor she spoke the final words. But no matter the experience nothing. Prepares you for the hell of waiting for goodbye.
0
Oct 20, 2010
Oct 20, 2010 at 3:21 PM UTC
Waiting For Goodbye
When you know the answer then why wait for the question? maybe it was just to make her squirm in that last sense of right I knew all that was wrong. She knew it would hurt and so she avoidng the words. Hiding her own happiness to allow me my dellusion tinged misery. At the table the candle slowley burned casting a glow only causing the shadows to stir. We spoke more in silence than in words. My male ego feuding with itself. Yerning to cause the pain that was already eating at me secrets burn a hole in the rational mind. You ***** I imagined yelling causing only me to appear more of a fool than I already was. But the silence said it all. Sliding the drink aside looking into the eyes i could never truley understand. And in my loss i saw the beauthy and saw her emptyness with me she would only know. the moonlight reflected apon the water is but a reflection of what we need only look up to see. It takes love to say goodbye. as outside in the nights air we needed that last embrace to remind us of the emptyness that we shared. Into her eyes I gazed as within her soul I spoke. No false hope tasted within that kiss. As paths part life does change and the chapter is closed. The happy lie tempted my heart as she vanished into her life. Perfume cast her scent as the pen kissed the page. the ghost's off memory haunt me eternal. But never was is my life. As my love yerns more for what her's could be. The darkness my home always tempted with the promise of light. Closed is that fragment of heart. As the candle's apon the table slowley kissed the darkness as trail's of smoke trace the scene. I knew it was over befor she spoke the final words. But no matter the experience nothing. Prepares you for the hell of waiting for goodbye.
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38
Well lookin back it seems i think little somethin always beat's a whole lotta nothin. The road at night is a mystery yerning to remain unsolved. No direction sometimes seems better than the reallity of a dead in street. Burnt out from pills and ***** A head that pounds with a steady rythym of of past failures and false starts. As in bottles we seek answers to the unasked questions of the dammed soul and promising lie. Four walls a asylum or a hotel of your choosing. Last times regret cant match tonights need. Burnt emotions frozen feelings. A great lie love is dellusion a drug for the junkies soul. Cold even on a mid summers night. I paint in colors of a doomed nature. Void yet alluring to the naked eye. Like a records unclear sound the flaws are what make it true. This writers fire has all but faded. I ask does that glass appear half empty to you?
0
May 11, 2010
May 11, 2010 at 6:26 PM UTC
A Moment Shared/ In The Key Of Night
As we pass time cast the shadow can you bare the light? A cold breeze and warm thought times a ******* child we embraced two misfits lovers of the moment sweetheart does it ever cross your thought's. Time passes marked by the old clock on the wall. my past is a thought fools seldom cast aside a good dellusion. She was warm in arms that held emptyness so very well. Songs no matter there heart must all fade. Depth in the shallow watres of *** a reflex cant take the place of a life. So she went a distant path but we still see that moment clear in nighst dark she cast my heart a moment of life in seconds of death. Fall your burden to gather like kids outside a vacant lot. ***** the ghost's lets find some new demons to share. Winter my mistress why must you hang in thought like a tatred picture apon my thoughts wall? Dust to gather in mind sniffed in the shared confines with a dark mind and easy lay. No matter the price still we must pay. Bitter times and a moment will always fade the wind of kiss ice of my eternal storm. A dead hero and a tight body to feed a eye's thirst lets sell are soul for some spare change and a moment to ******* erase it all please lay in these arms and hate for loves sake. Lush spring brought me her snow bound canvas will the painters hand ever remain still to create the perfect flaw. Cracked ice soon we all must crash. The honey my dear is always worth the sting. please cast the eye's jaded in perfection befor you go. One moment of devilish warmth befor winters passion must leave me to her always promised chill.
0
Dec 11, 2011
Dec 11, 2011 at 4:26 PM UTC
Winter/I Know Her Well
As we pass time cast the shadow can you bare the light? A cold breeze and warm thought times a ******* child we embraced two misfits lovers of the moment sweetheart does it ever cross your thought's. Time passes marked by the old clock on the wall. my past is a thought fools seldom cast aside a good dellusion. She was warm in arms that held emptyness so very well. Songs no matter there heart must all fade. Depth in the shallow watres of *** a reflex cant take the place of a life. So she went a distant path but we still see that moment clear in nighst dark she cast my heart a moment of life in seconds of death. Fall your burden to gather like kids outside a vacant lot. ***** the ghost's lets find some new demons to share. Winter my mistress why must you hang in thought like a tatred picture apon my thoughts wall? Dust to gather in mind sniffed in the shared confines with a dark mind and easy lay. No matter the price still we must pay. Bitter times and a moment will always fade the wind of kiss ice of my eternal storm. A dead hero and a tight body to feed a eye's thirst lets sell are soul for some spare change and a moment to ******* erase it all please lay in these arms and hate for loves sake. Lush spring brought me her snow bound canvas will the painters hand ever remain still to create the perfect flaw. Cracked ice soon we all must crash. The honey my dear is always worth the sting. please cast the eye's jaded in perfection befor you go. One moment of devilish warmth befor winters passion must leave me to her always promised chill.
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25
Pills' partys the last seven years washed unclean. Streets now empty past there prime and looking to score. Ive lived till the edge is dull. I sit knowing theres nothing more. Are we as ****** up as are parents befor? The answers passed down are but secondhand mistakes. As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad. My eyes blind yet still able to see. My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape. Hope is but sweet dellusion not ment for me. When the flame is gone darkness signals the change. fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul. To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage. No life is a end at its false start. A chord lost in time. shadows I chase to there darkest end. Laughter hides the so clearly seen. Hate take's my passion as time take's my story the final verse to share with none. Im the ******* of a stranger I know well. He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release. Dying in seconds counting hours. Killing the drug strangles my air. A painter never shows his thoughts. Just covers his canvas. Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure. As in days I will embrace the emptyness you no longer control. Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes. The time 5:oo am strangers will take the story rewrite my past. Lie's are a freedom I no longer need. Goobye's a return's promise. I can no longer say. Im exhuasted yet I know its best to fill the page. But that southern breeze will now be my home. In sunsets i hope you see what never was. Charm of a maniac the sense of a legend to never be. Darkness I wish i had shared tears are the taste of a talent that never was me. the glass is empty.
0
Sep 28, 2010
Sep 28, 2010 at 1:43 AM UTC
Help/What We Seldom See
Pills' partys the last seven years washed unclean. Streets now empty past there prime and looking to score. Ive lived till the edge is dull. I sit knowing theres nothing more. Are we as ****** up as are parents befor? The answers passed down are but secondhand mistakes. As the madess goes from funny to something altogather sad. My eyes blind yet still able to see. My own personal hell thoughts of a far off escape. Hope is but sweet dellusion not ment for me. When the flame is gone darkness signals the change. fake words concern is but a vice carried to the lost soul. To live in the circle is but to embrace a soft cage. No life is a end at its false start. A chord lost in time. shadows I chase to there darkest end. Laughter hides the so clearly seen. Hate take's my passion as time take's my story the final verse to share with none. Im the ******* of a stranger I know well. He reflects the prison for which I yern for this nights release. Dying in seconds counting hours. Killing the drug strangles my air. A painter never shows his thoughts. Just covers his canvas. Tomorrow I will no longer see your failure. As in days I will embrace the emptyness you no longer control. Vacant is the space windows and empty eyes. The time 5:oo am strangers will take the story rewrite my past. Lie's are a freedom I no longer need. Goobye's a return's promise. I can no longer say. Im exhuasted yet I know its best to fill the page. But that southern breeze will now be my home. In sunsets i hope you see what never was. Charm of a maniac the sense of a legend to never be. Darkness I wish i had shared tears are the taste of a talent that never was me. the glass is empty.
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44
As in the tears light does escape in the darkest fear. Pleading in silence yerning for the departure of my soon lost mind. Why we we must travle a road only to see it's end. The path unsure requires a steady broken soul. My emptyness know great depth. A game of life a promise of death. Behind laughter pain does exist. Another night escapes me one of many regrets. The wind a companion the road a void of nights gentle embrace. Ive searched for a reason tangled in the traps of agony's plessure cast dellusion. A snow globe heart awaits its fatal dance with the floor. In the arms of passion we feel the wrath of times bitter truth. I am the clowns washed clean face. Ive serched for a depth. To find a poets soul ive found not a trace. I struggle to resist. She drops the glass as it breaks apon a slab floor. No longer the clown do I see. One pull and tommorows painting will be erased. From a spark of pure creation and a fatal destruction. Into a night a end of my choosing. Maybe we knew the past was soon to be are end. Heart's like all things bleeding easily betray. For only clocks and urns apon the mantle were ment to stay. In choosing this path it sets a page blank. Allowing many to read that which was never seen. In darkness the mystery leaves little light. So as we toast to a suicide. The trigger is pulled. A ****** up sesibility is matched only by a cryptic verse. As in chains we exist trapped in soul lost within the mind. Sunsets in red oceans of passions failure no longer free to the laugther trapped within my head. The soon to be forgotten fade. As in the depths we chase demons of are own creation shallow in thought. Washed in tommorows legend and dried by reallty's ever changing truth.
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Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010 at 7:10 PM UTC
The Return Of Your Leaving
As in the tears light does escape in the darkest fear. Pleading in silence yerning for the departure of my soon lost mind. Why we we must travle a road only to see it's end. The path unsure requires a steady broken soul. My emptyness know great depth. A game of life a promise of death. Behind laughter pain does exist. Another night escapes me one of many regrets. The wind a companion the road a void of nights gentle embrace. Ive searched for a reason tangled in the traps of agony's plessure cast dellusion. A snow globe heart awaits its fatal dance with the floor. In the arms of passion we feel the wrath of times bitter truth. I am the clowns washed clean face. Ive serched for a depth. To find a poets soul ive found not a trace. I struggle to resist. She drops the glass as it breaks apon a slab floor. No longer the clown do I see. One pull and tommorows painting will be erased. From a spark of pure creation and a fatal destruction. Into a night a end of my choosing. Maybe we knew the past was soon to be are end. Heart's like all things bleeding easily betray. For only clocks and urns apon the mantle were ment to stay. In choosing this path it sets a page blank. Allowing many to read that which was never seen. In darkness the mystery leaves little light. So as we toast to a suicide. The trigger is pulled. A ****** up sesibility is matched only by a cryptic verse. As in chains we exist trapped in soul lost within the mind. Sunsets in red oceans of passions failure no longer free to the laugther trapped within my head. The soon to be forgotten fade. As in the depths we chase demons of are own creation shallow in thought. Washed in tommorows legend and dried by reallty's ever changing truth.
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46
With eyes wide shut, my mind paints a vivid picture of the girl I love. Everything from her frizzy hair, to her weird thumbs, and her amazing mind. Her laugh makes me weak. The energy in her spirit causes me to question everything I ever denied of angels and God. For if He exist, she is His prized possession. Your wild antics keep me on my toes. Your seducing smile sends chills down my spine, cooling the passion burning feverishly in my soul.. But this is a dellusion of the conscience. When I flip my eyelids you are there, but not subjected to my love. You are free of the burdens I place on my chest. You are only my best friend and I fear that's all you will ever be. You are my angel that will shine a righteous light and awaken my cold vessel to traquil affection. Haha, I can only dream.. I stopped believing in fairy tales long ago, but I will never stop believing in you, I will never stop listening to you, I will never stop trusting you, I will never stop being the rock you need when the earth beneath you becomes quicksand. When the world tries to drown you in dispare I will be there to give you life. I will care for you, feel what you feel because we are one. You are my better half and I can't  survive withut you. I wish I could tell you how I feel. To tell you I love you more than life itself and I will profess that everywhere anywhere no matter what. I am proud an grateful for you and all that you have taught me. Thank you for being my outlet from the hell I suffered through and in return I was there for you. I was there to wipe your tears away. I was there when you thought of taking your life. I was there when you wanted to go: leave America, marry in Africa, honeymoon in Paris, and grow old in India. I have been there and I always will. I am yours.. I wish I didn't neglect you when I did. I wish I didn't deny my feelings for you, but I am afraid. It scares me how serious I am about you. I have cried and ached in your absence. It hurts, but what's worse is that you don't know. You may never know. I never thought that I would be in love with my best friend. I could only have dreamt it, but when I open my eyes, my feelings applify and I spend the rest of the day lying and repressing them until I slumber and my true reality is born, in which I am together forever with the girl of my dreams..
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Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC
Dream Girl
With eyes wide shut, my mind paints a vivid picture of the girl I love. Everything from her frizzy hair, to her weird thumbs, and her amazing mind. Her laugh makes me weak. The energy in her spirit causes me to question everything I ever denied of angels and God. For if He exist, she is His prized possession. Your wild antics keep me on my toes. Your seducing smile sends chills down my spine, cooling the passion burning feverishly in my soul.. But this is a dellusion of the conscience. When I flip my eyelids you are there, but not subjected to my love. You are free of the burdens I place on my chest. You are only my best friend and I fear that's all you will ever be. You are my angel that will shine a righteous light and awaken my cold vessel to traquil affection. Haha, I can only dream.. I stopped believing in fairy tales long ago, but I will never stop believing in you, I will never stop listening to you, I will never stop trusting you, I will never stop being the rock you need when the earth beneath you becomes quicksand. When the world tries to drown you in dispare I will be there to give you life. I will care for you, feel what you feel because we are one. You are my better half and I can't  survive withut you. I wish I could tell you how I feel. To tell you I love you more than life itself and I will profess that everywhere anywhere no matter what. I am proud an grateful for you and all that you have taught me. Thank you for being my outlet from the hell I suffered through and in return I was there for you. I was there to wipe your tears away. I was there when you thought of taking your life. I was there when you wanted to go: leave America, marry in Africa, honeymoon in Paris, and grow old in India. I have been there and I always will. I am yours.. I wish I didn't neglect you when I did. I wish I didn't deny my feelings for you, but I am afraid. It scares me how serious I am about you. I have cried and ached in your absence. It hurts, but what's worse is that you don't know. You may never know. I never thought that I would be in love with my best friend. I could only have dreamt it, but when I open my eyes, my feelings applify and I spend the rest of the day lying and repressing them until I slumber and my true reality is born, in which I am together forever with the girl of my dreams..
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44
I have a story The reason we died With smile and agony And no peace can keep us I thought it was a parade Amused, then amaze the mind Fulfill the dreams we had Enchanted our sleepy eyes The melody like a spell, so dazzle However, It's just a dellusion They tear the tree of dream Fading our imagination Pour our land with beautiful agony Don't talk! They don't care cause they don't hear Don't, don't ever have a hope Don't ever have a dream, they said That's why we're here With smile and agony We died
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Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 6:11 PM UTC
The reason we died
As a cool wind from the cemetary im found dead in thought Yet alive in jaded soul. Breaking towards reflection of the place i never belonged at all. Amoung the corpse of a past regret so many thoughts. In endless hours of worry it seems so easy to forget. In this place rest is never final. As I recall her scars the candle hid her intentions in shadow. Wine as life flows untill the bitter end. Notes to a suicide poems of angst known only to it's misery laced author. We cast clouds in sun lit skies. Some pains bring happiness to thoose who cant see past the self absorbed dellusion we call memory. The oceans rythm a bottle kisses the thought. It's alone my thoughts understand my ****** up reason. Adictions of fear junkies of need. Ive found my place in a empty corner by the fires light. You cant lose your grip when you never had hold. Frayed are the edges of this worn book. Devils in thought always know ladies who yern to taste the wicked madness without regret. That tortured soul the depth that isnt there. Blind from the excess even old vices seem more like tired acts for others amusment. It's in these hours i see the damge and beautiful flaws of age. Contact is hollow when the vessel is empty as I. The monster ive become clings to the reflection of thought. As the rose dies for the memory of a bitter past. Gone are the reasons. A final drink to the lights that to often fade.
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Jan 7, 2011
Jan 7, 2011 at 3:15 PM UTC
And So Monsters We are/Fade
The radio glows filling the darkness with phantoms I call old friends. They gather to haunt my thoughts along with you. And I recall that dance so long ago. It's become a fine wine Id rather admire than taste again. As that look I remember so very well. We erase the parts that get in the way of are dellusion filled spell. The leaves change only to fall apon ***** streets. Where others trace thoose same steps as you and I. And in the darkness I remember. as a heartbroke soul's voice calls through the night. As shadows dance and the whiskey glimmers within the glass. She's there but a ghost within my lap her chill brings warmth. That memorie calls to me as the bottle is better admired than cracked. It's passion contained for another. Life does fade apon the gleam of a blade. Candles are better for birthdays and little kids cakes. Fire is shared between two in a kiss. Reflection mixes well on just another night like this.
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Feb 16, 2010
Feb 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM UTC
Just Another Night
Last night, I saw rows of men Sat circling around you Innocent and harmless victims Lack of wisdom, blinded by fake persona Exchanging ideas? I guess not, You keep feeding them lies Brainwashed them Way beyond anything I can comprehend I don't have time to engange in repeated version same game anyway Used to call you my mentor. But many little birds opened my eyes You're only a poser Pretends to be outwardly postive I remember, one time you said "Who are you? You're nothing compared to me. Don't you know who I am?" Agony, messed me up But I wiped my tear-stained cheeks Oh boy, I knew it from the entire island You are a… Sneaky manipulator Convincing predator Self-interested individual Drown in superiority dellusion Sympathy collector Thoughts saboteur Sweet nothing Wolf Racoon in sheep’s clothing A wolf would be overly good Smelly rotten soul Well-oiled word From a poisonous tounge True self always revealed Once you get closer to them Others might not know & fell for your fake persona I sit and wonder why he does it Regardless of the reason Clearly you aren’t ashamed You're nothing but a Disgushting racoon in sheep’s clothing.
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May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 1:31 AM UTC
Racoon In Sheep’s Clothing
I tied the knot to fill the empty spaces you left. I tried to keep my room clean, picking every piece of clothig you threw that didn't fit in the basket beam. I told myself it was all but a beautiful dream, or a lie. A shadow that phantom my dellusion.
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Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 12:56 PM UTC
Untitled
It hurts like a needle As it Pierce the skin, The scorch of the sun, In the summer break, Little by little, I felt I have sinned, In the charm of a woman, That can’t be defined by logic, In the class of the country’s past, Divided by an invisible wall, So far and yet so near, Inside the four wall room, As my heart beat so fast, Two people almost had to brawl, For she I admire, A feeling I still can’t confirm, It felt like a disease of heat stroke, Allured in a woman is an illusion, Fast heart beat is a symptom, Is the best summer break? My summer delusion broke, Being allured in the same woman, A déjà vu has felt, Inside the four wall room,
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Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 6:23 PM UTC
Man's dellusion