Left to wander this barren ground
A time in which the wildflowers no longer bloom
Bitter hues of forbidden darkness
Of a yesterday remembered

Silent happenings to trap
Choking on a diamond of indigo
Sinkhole of words that matter
To feel forgotten

To miss tomorrow to be today
Deju vu imaginary sun
A dam of bitter salt
Escape a voice

Belong to the shadow
Draft of yellow light
Through the cracks of fault
If you hear me

it comes in waves. i creep into old habits after i taste the nostalgia. chasing down thoughts after triggers doesn't taste as sweet as deju vu does, and i'm finding myself absent from my current reality. i'm stuck spiraling in visions and past versions of myself that i don't recognize as ever holding truth, but they do, and did. i'm simultaneously trying too hard and not trying at all.

Well ****
Here I go again
Deju vu right?

I said what I said last time
As did you
Starting to feel like a habit

What happens when it breaks?
Will I ever be able to see you again?
Will it continue?

I want to make you happy but I'm starting to feel that I'm not the right person to stand by your side