Deicide,
The death of an entity
To the tick of a broken clock.
Solitary, in the backdrop,
A medley sounds,
Woven of solitary despair and chaos,
A song without words,
Drenched in emotions.
How am I supposed to keep up
With the pace of this feral world,
When my crutches, my love for you,
Is long gone.
Deicide,
The death of an aspect,
Of a forgotten dream.
Perhaps, this is for the best.
Our fate was merely to brush past each other,
And continue.
You, towards your ascent,
But me, my descent beckons.

You're here by cordially invited to my suicide
Please, RSVP to the homicide
Don't be late to the genocide
And make sure that you bring your own cyanide
I take the adrenochrome  
And I realize
We are all the thoughts we chose to let out and our scrapped ideas that we could of been fly away

And now I'm left here with ***** thoughts and dishes
Dreams and wishes
Die from the inside
It's never easy

Dig me a shallow grave
Your regret is deep
A life might of been saved
The guilt is your's to keep
Caffeine, nicotine, THC, LSD it's all the same to me
They keep me going, going
Gone

Piercings and ashes
I can see the sun and the moon all at once
I know I'm guilty
Allow me if you will
Oh, what else can I do?
At least let me tie my own noose

       -Tommy Johnson

we used to be golden, my love
you were midas, i was your girl
you held me close to your heart
and i glittered in the sun

we used to be golden, my heart
celestial beings, benevolent gods
we ignored the mortals beneath us
eyes only for each other

our fall from heaven
happened all too fast;
one minute i was golden
next you were gone;

perhaps the others was not ready
for our divine, ethereal love
that's why we were exiled from our heaven
ripped from each other, banished from your arms

i felt the silver leave my blood
the diamonds fell from my eyes
my gold is tarnished
i'm covered in dirt

my immortality has been stolen
my wings cut off
you're still ethereal
in an intangible way

my earthly journey has been lonely
and i've learned some things, since you've gone
elysium is a ******* lie and
temporal pain hurts so much

i suppose i shall wait it out
i'll sit here, i'll wait for you
i'll sit here on the terrestrial plane
and wait for rapture to find me again

i will wait, my love
i will wait until the day
we can be golden, again

We never knew it

If you called
the phone was ringing
on a line that led nowhere

The pain didn't shake itself
to frothing fury

We merely spilled
an accidental ant
infestation

Could be ordered
by dripping maple syrup
out of pocket

Certificate On Demand
<>< <>< <><
Well they are also being trawled
Trolled, rolled, and hashed
Backwards into oblivion

Forwards we march to the void
With no uniform but the one
you made us pay for

With every ability but the one to accept
a bit of discipline
A lashing of the tongue
A rolling of the eyes

These we claim as ekstatic
empyrean
and lofty

Base and
belonging

We have never had much of a chance
or survived

Making time is the one operation that
computers are incapable of doing accurately

The slow movements of tektonik
A bit of spatial dejazz
Combines slyruping away at our self-gnawing
ganymede
Diana
sysysus

There are Bacchantic poems
Earth is playing slower
and heavier with us

Then then there them
We decided deicide was old
hats and new sweaters
path-dependencies
Llavanderias and futbol
gols for 2016

never score again
if winning tastes like the defeat
of all desire
than massage me back into a fashion

I need a sauna
and 3 bathing attendants

The stars need less light from us
and more humble pie

The pour poor por que por que no?

they say the road to hell
is paved with golden intentions
and they are not mistaken i
see it's latent
hidden within psychosocial declarations
of everlasting love from a narcissistic god
i don’t give much credence to
the insistent proclamations of eternal
damnation in a metaphysical realm
of torment and brimstone but

don’t get me wrong
i’ve seen hell in the
wolfish grins of pilfering preachers
in the glassy eyes of opiated masses
i was careful when i stared
into that dark abyss
knowing it glared right back at me
emphatically declaring that i
was the lost sheep
a fallen brother separated
from the good shepherd’s flock
a prodigal son isolated in
alienating atheism but

i’ve come to love my
outcast status i’d rather
rot in the dirt after
raising hell on Earth
than suffer rebirth in ethereal bliss
espousing endless reiterations
of worship for a
fictitious megalomaniac

god is dead we killed him
deicide stains these hands
in shades of scarlet and crimson
the triumph of humanity will not
fade once again to the putrid
obeisance and ridiculous reverence
or religious references to divinity

salvation lies within

two decades of dedication
to the Christian ideal
left me dejected rejecting the
shallow lies and overt
misconceptions of religion
chose to begin again in the
reclamation of self-determination
i found a dignity independent from
a deity perpetuating guilt and regret
and though i will never forget the
progressive lessons of a radical rabbi
offering a message of hope and forgiveness
i’ve found that those same tenants
are seriously lacking in the
contemporary Christian church

if your god is
omnipotent and not
merely impotent
than tell me why he
needs you to
defend him

come on coward
if you’re real
show yourself
here’s the chance to
prove me wrong
sling lightning from the skies
and take my life i’m
not afraid i’m ready to die
and part from the suffering
that inundates this existence

strike me down and remove
all doubt of your majestic malevolence
a malfeascent adolescent prone
to fits of jealous rage and
temporal temper tantrums

that’s what i thought

i only hear the sounds of
a theological clown show
self-styled scholars enumerating  
passages of mercy and compassion
in the same holy text that condones
**** and slavery and child abuse
which would be ironic if it
hadn't been slapped together over
centuries of violence and bloodshed
and used to justify two millennia's worth of
repressive oppression a
putrescent obsession with control

it's true what Sartre said
hell is other people
and we have No Exit
from the depravity that
obfuscates critical inquiry
in the immortal words of
Shakespeare the nether-realms
are emptied all the devils are here

your god maybe a figment of
fantastic imagination but so
much horror has been wrought
with his name as the justification

so forgive me if i seem hyperbolic
but it is no exaggeration  
when i declare that religion itself
is a hell from which we're still
trying desperately to wake up

The haze caused by the Southern Fall
pales to shade cast in your heart
once bright
once beaming
now covers
it veils like the dead of night

Whatever happened to those eyes I once knew
of deep cerulean blue
that cut through the midnight air
and lit up my whole life?

Yet cold stares are all I now see
shown from you
and carried to me
when I gave you my all
made you my sky
and gave to you wings
that you needed to fly

And here mine lie
not able to spread
singed and scorched
from what I thought was my sun

Though now I know
in all of my pain
that this wasn't love
so to forever let it go
onto there let it burn.

You were never worth
what I thought of you.

it took me all these years to realize
you are no god;
when i fight back you bleed red
when you told me you'd bleed ichor instead

it's become something of a cliché but
like most trite adages
for all its faults
it is not necessarily
lacking in validity

the journey itself is the destination

a phrase that conjures images
in one's head of subconscious
sojourns across arctic tundras
and windswept plains
savannas and mountain ranges
or perhaps astral and ethereal
projections of the psyche into
some pseudo-spiritual metaphor
for overcoming corporeal suffering
and psychological anguish

but it holds true too
to the metaphysical revolt
explored by Camus in
chapter two of his opus
on the spirit of rebellion

it is not enough to merely **** god
acts of deicide are at once
reactionary and revolutionary
imposing subtle dictatorships as
we merely claim a despot's
stolen throne for our
own whims and fancies

no
to resist the urge to become the master
to destroy dominance and empower each
other is the greatest test humankind will face
a constant struggle to pursue the
better angels of our nature

the means don't
justify the ends
the means
are the end

I am sorry for not possessing standards of society
Let me introduce my friend social anxiety
shoot at me all words and blasphemy
I'm already shattered, it
doesn't matter
anyway

Ecclesiastes is a fake and god is too
no saints no saviours no one is he
a piece of rotting flesh is the only thing you'll be
acceptance is for the holy
too bad deity is dead.

Deicide,
book of the dead, pages bound in human flesh
a man stands alone in the battlefield of life
Can't stand anymore he will cut it with a knife
Scripting a holy of the holiest, a testament in blood.

Here I am spitting words ain't worth a thing
starving, sitting alone, tired of being a simple human being
I hope no one comes ever again, enter the door of my mind ever again
never again
never again

illusion festers at the
altar of apathy we
sacrifice our intellect
for luxury items
woe-filled slaves chained
to hypocrisy

if this is what grows in the
absence of thought—weeds
spread out to choke all semblance
of hope—sew my eyelids to my scalp
i'll sleep no more no nightmare
is more terrible than this
reality we must endure

stretched out across this wasteland
we built temples to worship
finance bathed in our own arrogance
we fancied ourselves gods through
deicide and accepted the
inheritance that gave us such a throne

measure out the violence in Biblical
proportions spread like fire
to every corner of the globe
cover the map in a sea of
ash and smoke white phosphorous
raining from the sky like manna
on all the forgotten children
anguishing in third-world exile

we are the arbiters of our own demise
drunken bloated ignorant harbingers
reviled for our revelry of orgastic negativity
plunging the Earth into the sixth
extinction that surely spells
the end of our finite kind

some sentient race may yet witness
our only home caught in the
death-grip of its sole intellectual organism
as life ebbs from her lonely pale blue eyes
winking in and out of existence
from hundreds of lightyears far far away

no telling whether such a recollection
viewed through the chasm of space-time
might offer a mirror to some species
possessed of less self-destructive
tendencies devoid of suicidal mentalities
a warning sign to all the legions spread
across the galaxy:

do not follow in our footsteps

And just so you know,
Sometimes we never do,
It's just a chance we take...
Knowing if we can really forego a risk so great
If you dare to take
That leap of faith.
To boldly let go of whats been done to you
And  compare not the old
To the new,...
For is it truly fair to act bitter and cold
To an innocent heart that
Has only love and will do anything you ask them to
After several attempts to
Find love......
You give in to ......
The idea that ....you.
Can no longer be burdened with that desire....
Sadly you just give up....
No more will you try,
Theres nobody out there ,
The problem is elusive
Because you look for the perfect person .
Well funshine think of it this way.......
A perfect catch probably
Would want a perfect match.
No offense deary
But clearly you arnt exactly what that defines.
Nobodies perfect .
So then you stop looking.
Cupid knows when
You drop expectations
Potential candidates
Interrogations
He draws his bow
Lets loose arrows




Some how love laced ,
Because of love ,
You were, I'm sure
faced with petty things
Which imbued you
With lofty dreams
That one day
The new love of your
Life
will learn not to do!
Since life so often
Seen through
Eyes biased by
a lifetime sorta practicum
Internship
As an apprentice
Imprinting through environmental conditioning ,
Immersed in
What your mentors
Were taught
What they thought
Was how to be.
So you gleaned everything
You perceive,and although you may deicide to rebel or reject certain aspects
As you mature pain and pressure can exhaust
Dealing in such heavy costs incurring grieving losses .
We have tendencies to
So subtly  fall back in default to
Our
pseudo
Peach tree point of view .
Morals ethics right wrong
This is your reality.
It isnt long when your
loveshine is gone.  
Im so sorry for you. ....
Before you do anything
Cruel or stupid ..
Concern your mind with this.
You may try to empathise
But ,
You dont know you cant rationalize a paradigm
Different than that which
Made you"YoU"!
It could be they have been neglected,rejected,beatin,
Lied to ,abandoned
By one or both mom and dad and or possible
Siblings too.
This new love to them
Could be the first time
They have tried to be and so far they are the best to you that they could be.
And it's hard to remember but not so long ago you loved them
so..
.have the courage
And respect to say.
Im sorry and thank you
For all of the things we experienced.
I dont want to hurt you
But I also dont want to lie to you,
And lead you on...
I will always try to stay your friend if youll let me.
Anyway my love for you is gone........
Its so very difficult
Or do you want to take the ****** way out and jade them into someone like you by doing those accursed things that some ******* did to you...
Cause that makes you no better than them
And then your just another bitter ******* too.

While standing still, I'm twice as crazy, but today, I finish work early.

Forty-five minutes more drinking, which lasts, longer than nine to five.

My boss reminds me of pay, a wife is an uncomprehending boredom.
Im unfascinated by people.

I am not wanted, either are they. which can provide great uncertainty.

On the way home I’m on my third while driving,
I either throw cans behind the passage seat or if its night from the window.

Home I'm tired,  I'm alone, I think of everyone. I prefer loneliness or listening to the second hand of a clock. Which beats, coming to work, going to work or a vague life, living with others.

Never with people, providing no great ideas, I can't offer a few. With no time left, I deicide, their little l want to do

A rocket exploded in South Texas
left a reaching inferno from the base of petty worship
a god whose hand fell on no one, touched their eyes
pray in solitude, your words aren't worth it
just look for your answers in the skies,
where is your orbiting warship?

Imagine, invent and innovate on ancient lies
a better tomorrow, aim your arrows
in the machines mankind deifies
all of this squalor beyond the visible spectrum of light
is the reaction and consequence of what people decide
long to believe in nothing, demand proof by tangibility and sight
long to have faith in something, devote yourself by proxy to the discourse that causes deicide
there's always a holy something to fight, there's always satisfaction in taking side
all my cosmic gods and all ancient gods, pagan gods, all the gods of fiction and all the gods of tradition
all the minds that strive for enlightenment, worshipping education
scientists and philosophers, who are all pious in their own way
all the void and defiance, the uncertain and indifferent
launch and land and relaunch yourselves into life every day, make the most of flight before the ground interrupts your stay.