"deficating" poems
Your desolate heart is the only moor to which I am barren.....
It was a Saturday in November, yea I still remember. I confessed my profound feelings to what now appears to be a hollow frame of shattered dreams. And the distance between us seems to only lengthen. Well maybe I'm okay with it, maybe I really just don't give a **** I've had enough of you deficating upon my desperate hopes. Tired of you spitting on me, tired of you ******** on me. Quite frankly, I no longer care to be here; in this feeding pit where you starve me love and fill me with false hope and pain. I can't stay here..it's draining everything that I am and try to be, can't you see..you're ******* killing me, constantly shoving me aside, guess what. The truth is, I stopped loving you for while.. now and I just feel so alive now. I feel free. No longer enchained by meaningless hi's and goodbyes, most importantly, no more compromise. I've stopped selling myself promising futures, I realised that I'd be broke if I kept buying into my beautiful sins. Sacrificing everything for the sake of you in my life, clipping my own wings and bearing a heart that knows of nothing but strife. You disgust me, the taste of your name on my tongue makes my blood boil and my face wry. You no longer have to accept me because this is goodbye for sure.I don't want you, I don't need you, I don't love you...anymore.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015 at 2:40 PM UTC
What is wrong with me
Why am I this way?
Why do have to deal
With this struggle every phuckin' day?
I try to take my mind off of things
Without the use of alcohol or drugs.
But my inner voices tell me
I'm useless & unloved.
They tell me I'm a ***** up
They tell me I'm no good.
They tell me I'm incapable of doing better
There's no way I could.
What they tell me must be truthful
Because that's how I feel.
The voices tell me the truth
They like to "keep it real"
They speak to me at night
That's why I rarely sleep.
They tell me I'm not strong
So they render me weak.
They make me go look in the mirror
& it's my reflection I'm hating.
I live a life of self-loathing
& self-deficating.
I've learned to hate myself
The voices made me see the light.
I've given into my voices
I believe they are right.
I believe what they say about me
They know best it seems.
The voices stripped away my pride
& destroyed my self-esteem.
I think what my voice tell me
Leaves me emotionally & mentally spent.
These voice must be my only friends
Because they listen when I vent.
They listen when no one else does
They give me their undivided attention.
They keep my inner secrets well
To no one else they will mention.
They show me how to hide the pain
They show me how to conceal it.
But when my voices & I are alone
They **** sure make me feel it.
The voices make me feel as if I'm nothing
As if my life is a waste of time.
They say it so much
That it's tattooed on my mind.
They're right, I'm worthless
Taking up precious space.
The world would be a better place
If I were erased.
voices you are right
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 7, 2016 at 10:22 PM UTC