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"defensless" poems
i am African, Yes i am black, i live under the same sun as yours, yes we are one.   Why battle with one another, the xenophobia attacks in my country should end, shops are looted, houses burnt down, children fear going to school and hundreds are left homeless.     What happended to South Africa being known as a Rainbow Nation? After 22 years of democracy why do we still fight, defensless statues are destroyed, histroy is wiped away and all that is left is faces without races, let us put our weapons down and rather love than fight.
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Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 4:13 PM UTC
cries of faces without races
Lead ***** Indian glowing on the desert horizon plastered on a postcard taped to the dashboard your palm reads like a road map to hell and back scars made up and stapled shut lipstick stained paper cup crystallized amphetamines in a bag coat hanger lock pick got me in not out of this drink up little darling liquor costs me nothing tongue on your neck sharp teeth on your neck dull teeth on your neck love me to death **** me to death drink me to death share a cigarette yeah yeah share a cigarette all your gonna get all youll ever get down in the canyon with the coyotes they all wanna know all wanna show what im dealin with up up goes the bottle down down goes the fire into my head playing with knives got me ****** standing up straight stumble heavy apologizing for preying on a defensless calf blood suckle sunday desert flavored sundae rattle snake humming son of a preacher call call yellow eye call call blue eye call all the children back to the fold I'm part of the pack now feeling so fast now teeth to the throat now yeah yeah heavy is the lust heavy is the lust heavy is the lust heavy is the lust heavy is the lust heavy is the lust for blood] for ****
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Feb 27, 2012
Feb 27, 2012 at 1:00 PM UTC
Heavy
I EAT A SUBOXONE FOR LUNCH I THINK THAT IM GONNA THROW UP THATS A LOVELY BUZZ AND SIDE AFFECT OF BEING FORCED TO GROW UP I MISS BEING YOUNG IN SUMMER ONLY TWENTY ONE & BUMMED OUT ALWAYS SOMETHING WRONG & ITS MY FAULT I JUST KEEP FAULTING OUT & ALL THE LOVELY LADIES THAT IVE LOVED JUST THINK IM CRAZY CUZ MY LOVE AROUND THE CLOCK THE LOVE THEY GIVE TO ME IS LAZY & IT BREAKS ME, ALWAYS BREAKS ME, EVERY TIME IT FEELS THE SAME N IM ALIVE BUT DEAD INSIDE I GO OUTSIDE TO FEEL THE RAYS & I DISSOLVE DONT WANNA BE INVOLVED DESIRE TO EVOLVE I FEEL THE RAIN & CRACK A SMILE SYMBOLS INESCAPABLE ALWAYS FALL, FOREVER FALLEN NEVER FALLEN FOR I PLACE FLOWERS IN THE HINGES LATCHES OF YOUR LOCKING DOOR & I KNOW THAT THEYLL PROLLY DIE YEAH YOU WONT EVER WATER THEM BUT I JUST FIGURED MAYBE YOU MIGHT SMILE AT THE THOUGHT OF THEM & IF I COULD CONTROL ALL THESE EMOTIONS I COULD CALL YOU FRIEND IM SWEPT IN THE INTENSITY DEFENSLESS & A FALLEN MAN
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Oct 9, 2016
Oct 9, 2016 at 5:23 AM UTC
Yup
It is when I lie defensless That I reach the top - the peak Of the only pleasant feeling. It is that of my beautiful nightly affairs That I do so crave each second I breathe But as I stir Waking to a morning Quite the same as the rest I chase the faint flicker Of my sweet midnight endeavors I struggle to cling To the faint fading feeling Of such wanderlust Such joy Red hair that I was enamored with When I have opened my eyes in full And let the sorrows of today Tomorrow And yesterday sink in The memories skitter away forever And I'm left to haul another day Scraping the rugged mountainside Overlooking the pain of collected rubble Shoving its way under my fingernails To reach the sweet escape On the very top once again
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Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 2:02 AM UTC
The Only Relief
John Carr was his name. He found himself on the corner of Mill and Main, a very respectable road for the area. He climbed over a rusted car eroding over time to see a gun fire to a yound woman and her baby sprawled in road. John walked to the man, their eyes still violently shaking from adrenaline. The two men prepared themselves with the smoking gun. John, defensless, undressed all he had until his bare bones carved the air. He rested his knees on the black pavement riddled with history, and prayed. John Carr’s splattered blood touched the babies’ hand.
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Mar 13, 2012
Mar 13, 2012 at 10:49 PM UTC
John Carr
It is written in my eyes exposing all the secrets I've hidden through my lies a never ending incese of a smokless flame protection I'd forsake defensless I became and destruction I let in as desperation seeped right in turned screams to harbor out the melody to form a screeching flow of streams steadily rushing from my head to my toe I lose control like lava bursting at escape hurdling waves of a rage as it pumps of waterfalls profusely into every single vein drowned and devoured into hate its becomes all you know and all you see to the very air you breathe cutting from the mystery that love eliminates all misery to bring healing to a self destructive state yet, here I stay to, still remain in vain to be left in the suffering of a once heart attacked and stained only here do I find solace in the confinments of my soliatry silence for no matter how much I may brave, I become a visible, To those who see my pain...
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Jan 17, 2019
Jan 17, 2019 at 1:15 AM UTC
Pain
When I was 19 I was pregnant and lost my first baby when I was 22 I was pregnant with my husband found out it was a tubal pregnancy. Found out the odds of me carrying we're slim to none and if I did the baby would be dead or another tubal and would die anyways. I succomed myself to this fate. I became ok with it just being me. I don't want children anyways 26 I thought something was wrong I went to the doctor found out I was pregnant it attached just barely in the right place yet I had plecenta previa in the process. I felt betrayed by my own body felt this foreign object growing inside me was a parasite why. I was ok with me. Why did it have to be like this. Slowly as it grew I started to change my mind. I started to fall in love. It would kick me in the night and I grew accustomed to its tiny little fluttering. It was mine all mine...man I didn't know what love was. Yet there was a promblem. I wanted so much more for it than I could give. I wanted it with me always yo love on to cherrish but i knew this wasn't about me it was about what was best for it. Then the day came who was it going to be her or him. He was so beautiful seeing him n the screen watching him move. I decided then I had to give him to someone who can give him everything I can't. I would never not be there still but I couldn't povide for him the way he needed I couldn't give him stability. My own issues would project on to this innocent little defensless child and there was nothing I could do. 8 months later I woke in a pool of blood. Two days later my son came into this world I had him then I gave him up. You don't have to own someone to love them. Open adoption is a beautiful thing but my son is always 4 hours away from me and not a moment goes by when I don't miss him. I can't have any more childern doctors were fearful about how close I came to bleeding and although I signed the papers to get fixed they agreed that it was a good decision the likely hood of me having another child safely was too risky. I almost died bringing him into this world but I would died a million times to do it again...I love you still and everything I do is for you always.
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Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 3:55 PM UTC
Why I do what I do little about me.
When I was 19 I was pregnant and lost my first baby when I was 22 I was pregnant with my husband found out it was a tubal pregnancy. Found out the odds of me carrying we're slim to none and if I did the baby would be dead or another tubal and would die anyways. I succomed myself to this fate. I became ok with it just being me. I don't want children anyways 26 I thought something was wrong I went to the doctor found out I was pregnant it attached just barely in the right place yet I had plecenta previa in the process. I felt betrayed by my own body felt this foreign object growing inside me was a parasite why. I was ok with me. Why did it have to be like this. Slowly as it grew I started to change my mind. I started to fall in love. It would kick me in the night and I grew accustomed to its tiny little fluttering. It was mine all mine...man I didn't know what love was. Yet there was a promblem. I wanted so much more for it than I could give. I wanted it with me always yo love on to cherrish but i knew this wasn't about me it was about what was best for it. Then the day came who was it going to be her or him. He was so beautiful seeing him n the screen watching him move. I decided then I had to give him to someone who can give him everything I can't. I would never not be there still but I couldn't povide for him the way he needed I couldn't give him stability. My own issues would project on to this innocent little defensless child and there was nothing I could do. 8 months later I woke in a pool of blood. Two days later my son came into this world I had him then I gave him up. You don't have to own someone to love them. Open adoption is a beautiful thing but my son is always 4 hours away from me and not a moment goes by when I don't miss him. I can't have any more childern doctors were fearful about how close I came to bleeding and although I signed the papers to get fixed they agreed that it was a good decision the likely hood of me having another child safely was too risky. I almost died bringing him into this world but I would died a million times to do it again...I love you still and everything I do is for you always.
Continue reading...
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how did i get here? In such a defensless state, It doesnt always feel good here, But i still choose to stay. She put me here, in this unfamiliar place, Like an eagle she swooped for my heart, But doesnt know that she has it, My fragile heart, in her warm hands it lays. Just look at her, That amazing human being, Not even knowing how much she means to me, How is this possible, thank you Lord for this blessing. Its just like in the movies, I love you endlessly, I just wish i could tell you, But not yet they say. Its just so cute, How clueless you are, I love you so much, My beautiful star. Im scared that i might lose you, If i do id cry everyday, I can just imagine, That endless kind of pain. But what if its not her, What if she leaves me, I would die in an instant, With my heart cold and gray. Lord i dont know, If its her youll give to me, But i will trust you, Whoever it may be. We have a long journey ahead of us, No idea what our future may lay, But all i know is that, i l o v e y o u , A. - g
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Oct 31, 2018
Oct 31, 2018 at 2:53 PM UTC
her
It's difficult to sleep when I have the same nightmare everynight. It's difficult to be awake when that nightmare is my reality. Everynight I remember my past. Everytime I was beaten and left in the corner to pick myself up. Everytime I was hurting and I had to brush my self off. I was defensless. Every time I was touched by the man that were supposed to be role models. My heart aches knowing that I was always alone. When I watched my parents argue, or my brother beaten. My mother beaten. I was cornered and crying. And I was left to clean the blood, to call the cops. No one asked me if I was okay. No one offered a hug. I still remember that stuff. I still remember being tackled and hit. With blood running down my face. I didn't feel the pain of the punch. My heat was crying to much. I trusted them. I depended on them. I still do. They wernt there when my brother was ripped out of my life. All the nights that I've cried myself to sleep, are meaningless to them. I reached out. I cried for help. But they were to sad to see my tears. Worked to much to see me bleed. I was alone. And I tried to help them. But I just got yelled at. Just got hurt. Kicked when I was down. They said sorry. They would change. But I stopped trusting them. I stopped trusting people. Because what they di didn't know was I was beaten at school too. Tortured by my peers. The teachers didn't care. They said to **** it up. I had to anyway. When I tried to tell them about school they would say they were to busy. They were always busy. When they wernt they dumped me at my grandparents. They were no better. They spat in my face and made sure I realized I'm worthless. They drilled it into my head. Here I am 14. Straight A's, college courses and honor role every year, and I'm still not enough. I have pushed my self and I'm hurting. When I wake up screaming, I'm not heard. When I walk out crying, I'm not seen. They promised, and they lied. I'm still abandoned. I'm still alone. I learned to stop leaving myself vulnerable. I listen to my music, alone, I'm the dark. Where no one could see me anyway. Where no one could hear me anyway. I tell myself that i dont need them. Now that something seems "wrong" with me they worry. I have two counsalers a therapist, and a phycoligist. But I don't need them. They can't fix my problems. What's the point. I don't know how to be happy. I never had a reason to be. I try to pretend so people don't try to help. I let so many people try and they all have up on me. I don't want to be hurt again. I stopped sharing. I hold it in. I can say I'm okay with tears falling, and they would all believe it.
0
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 18, 2017 at 7:53 PM UTC
The Truth
It's difficult to sleep when I have the same nightmare everynight. It's difficult to be awake when that nightmare is my reality. Everynight I remember my past. Everytime I was beaten and left in the corner to pick myself up. Everytime I was hurting and I had to brush my self off. I was defensless. Every time I was touched by the man that were supposed to be role models. My heart aches knowing that I was always alone. When I watched my parents argue, or my brother beaten. My mother beaten. I was cornered and crying. And I was left to clean the blood, to call the cops. No one asked me if I was okay. No one offered a hug. I still remember that stuff. I still remember being tackled and hit. With blood running down my face. I didn't feel the pain of the punch. My heat was crying to much. I trusted them. I depended on them. I still do. They wernt there when my brother was ripped out of my life. All the nights that I've cried myself to sleep, are meaningless to them. I reached out. I cried for help. But they were to sad to see my tears. Worked to much to see me bleed. I was alone. And I tried to help them. But I just got yelled at. Just got hurt. Kicked when I was down. They said sorry. They would change. But I stopped trusting them. I stopped trusting people. Because what they di didn't know was I was beaten at school too. Tortured by my peers. The teachers didn't care. They said to **** it up. I had to anyway. When I tried to tell them about school they would say they were to busy. They were always busy. When they wernt they dumped me at my grandparents. They were no better. They spat in my face and made sure I realized I'm worthless. They drilled it into my head. Here I am 14. Straight A's, college courses and honor role every year, and I'm still not enough. I have pushed my self and I'm hurting. When I wake up screaming, I'm not heard. When I walk out crying, I'm not seen. They promised, and they lied. I'm still abandoned. I'm still alone. I learned to stop leaving myself vulnerable. I listen to my music, alone, I'm the dark. Where no one could see me anyway. Where no one could hear me anyway. I tell myself that i dont need them. Now that something seems "wrong" with me they worry. I have two counsalers a therapist, and a phycoligist. But I don't need them. They can't fix my problems. What's the point. I don't know how to be happy. I never had a reason to be. I try to pretend so people don't try to help. I let so many people try and they all have up on me. I don't want to be hurt again. I stopped sharing. I hold it in. I can say I'm okay with tears falling, and they would all believe it.
Continue reading...
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