So often we associate love directly with pain.
We accuse it of causing us
To never engage
With another being
On this deeper level again.
We must avoid such harm.
Is this merely a way
To justify the ways in which
We allow our feelings to hold the power?
Confuse us and
Take complete control?
Strip down your hurt
Your anger and
You may see clearer
It is not the presence of love that is hurtful.
The absence of love
The loss of love
The misidentification of love
Igniting these feelings within.
When love is open
It is truly an invaluable treasure.
a continuous torment
until, even with cessation
only a tenuous self
leaving only the resin
is an infestation
festering around in my head
created at inception,
hacking my brain
Forever a trap
to all mankind
like a man
Not one word
and getting oneself
creating a deviant
due to a devalued
on this journey
by judge and jury,
not by one's peers
because the many
into this individuality
that is my reality
to a dual
One in which
win and lose
But in the end
not breaking even
or coming out ahead
Its back breaking
and always aching
Pain from which
not capable of
Effort I’m taking
Of myself making
Time for a new king
And this man’s ship
has sailed away
Sipping a port
at a shipping port
In the depth
of still water
into the abyss
Lost and gone
But not missed
Is this the end
of our fable?
Or will our “hero”
and in the end
Deciding who to be?
Cain or Abel?
For the hurricane
is hurrying along
Its aim always the same
A payment he feels
for the displaced
which just in case
Ink in the face
encased in his brain
are racing thoughts
of a plan
A label of insanity
given by those
who claim sanity
when the reality
is their thoughts are free
And in the end
it doesn’t matter
in which they
A problem beset
Time to steady
Roll n’ Rock
Inoculations we’re getting
Start the injections
“It’s been an honor”
Mounting my Lipizzaner
But as they keep score
the task is daunting
A life that’s haunting
with such splendid decor
Yet, can’t take any more
is leaving me sore
So to the atmosphere
I open that door
and flying up above
Feel pain no more...
Written: August 17, 2018
All rights reserved.
oh delirium, how much I have grown in-love with thee at this hour near morning twilight all hazy in the brain in deciding whether to see you or to drop my head asleep, accustomed to the bewitching time and longing to see that lingering daylight break, a dreamy state of thus, this moment wondering...
An introvert sees the world as it is,
deciding still, not to engage.
secrets at dusk
tasted vigorous as
in a smokey nightclub
under mysterious saxophone seas
this style is not my own
but it helps me swim better
I decided to adopt it
curious why it tugs ruthless
on spit fire sleeves
deliciously drowning me free.
forest moons at night
help you drop it all
bags of unwanted programs
flung from broken chimneys
violet threads pass perfect
through kitchen chipped glass
moth wings burning summer up
like her eyelash fluttering innocently on some other guy's cheek
shattering divisions snag
on moonlight betrayal dance
enormous sea hooks chop in
helpless lips seduced
mad quicksilver rush
reserve this room for my only friend
we have private letters to write
on a future night when
god dreams come true.
This is for you.
My only friend.
What weighs heavy is certain light
how it pierces
through troubled waters.
A million traces of faces
lit up in every beam.
One night I felt it bleed through me
using rivers of sun-fire screams.
Volcanic poetry spoke without a sound.
Jim Morrison breaking through doors
under spells of hypnotic waves
wild vibrant shimmering
on multi-colored sheets.
This style is not my own
but it helped me lava streak
across bitter shores.
my voice strays away.
a broken well voice
picked up by an old cracked bucket
leaking simple worded wishes
deciding to voluntarily borrow her
stolen forest eyes.
I heard them speak translucent leaf
on a summer day
when clairvoyant kids
heard God speak
on pathways of brilliant blue lake
in scintillating ripples
right before our astounded,
I am dripping funeral summer sweat
under tombstone studded trees
smiling while choking in
liquid clouded dark.
Alone but not alone.
Mighty Ghosts of heaven
holding my head up
making sure the Nile
doesn't gush out while
I still cannot even write or speak
turn my notebooks into confetti
nothing describes this mysterious sea
a new species of saxophone waves
has belted its killer wonderland
sound out across an entire broken stage.
I can picture us
on star contacted sand
under champion chandelier wonders
walking on Texas Lightning storm colors
bellies full on Rumi soul food
our secret flames
on some nuclear guarded beach
schools of fish cut
by saxophone hooked seas
blasted by vaults of unwrapped poems
someone else wrote perfect
in our dreams
we hope one day
the unpredictable silence
of simple worded wishes
will help us
new spring leaves
rain stamped on tender delicious works
after winter is done
savagely wishing us dead
we are touched by other worlds.
Sad movies are personal disasters
observed from a safe space
like watching a tiger in ANIMAL PLANET sink its teeth into a deer
or knowing that climate change will destroy our species in the next 100 years
Sad movie is like a dystopian era
where the society only sees itself
through selfie lenses and one day re-discovers mirror
a sad movie is like finally confronting
the kids who bully you at school
going to jail for child abuse because you are a 35 year old kindergarten teacher
sad movie is like that clingy friend who cant stop creating
unnecessary suspenses in his daily interactions
because his parents emotional absence left him attention deprived.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND
sad movie is like a picture of a broken reverse osmosis system bcos
Sad movie is like Neil Armstrong on the moon
hiding the whole earth behind his *******
sad movies is like finding out that ONE LIKE was actually equal to ONE PRAYER this whole time
and a child in Africa remained hungry because of your cynicism.
sad movie is like your **** peddler
stacked with cash
on the eve of November 8 2016
A Sad movie is like a farmer who fell in love with
an antisocial cloud
or a friendship between
an Indonesian and a chatty volcano
Sad movies are archaeologists fighting nazis instead of dusting weird stones and recreating human history
A sad movie is like
deciding to measure your age
only in multiples of 7
and then dying at 69
I'm emotionally detached,
in twenty nine days ninety panic attacks,
I see through your eyes,
straight to your past,
the times that you meant it when you really laughed.
Your crescents hate light,
and descend through the day,
I'm deciding my mind between painful and sane,
dividing a line between not okay and opaque.
I know my life's doubtful,
more mournful than most.
Lost in translation as feeling the least,
a leash on my brain and one sense of release.
I wanna meet sharpness to puncture my breath,
rather than losses I can't reconnect-
All feedback is welcome and appreciated
This poem is about how unattached I am from myself. I hope it makes sense
I am floating through space
Which seems like staying in place
I keep floating through space
Just in case
Something amazing happens
But expectations are flattened
I see stars in the distance
They're as small as infants
Complete blackness is all around me
I cannot crack this wall surrounding
My empty heart
Extend into space
They're what I must face
So I float in circles
And revolve like a moon
And your pistol
And black hole
When you act cold
Radiation from the sun pokes holes in my skin
Like bullets in space
The bullets that erase
My foolish hopes and dreams
Of a permanent spot on your team
Deciding to give up I become fetal
At the end of your space needle
Speaking of Roman Gods,
that love drunk Cupid,
Feel nothing for his lonely soul,
Slaying his victims,
condemning their hearts,
to enternity's unfortunate hole.
A mischievous plan.
Deciding one's fate
that love drunk Cupid,
I have become to hate.
He is no saint, no angel from above,
it was Cupid who deprived me
from the one I could have loved.
So the next time you're feeling,
"Oh No!Who is Cupid's boo?"
Feel not for his lonely soul
That arrow shooting,
love drunken fool.
My feelings about Valentine's Day and Cupid.
They live in huge houses, drive fancy cars
Most know poverty only secondhand
So how can they fix a problem... They don't really understand
Given the role of a leader
However, I'm convinced they are confused
We live in worlds too far apart...
How can they lead with similar views
Their children go to private schools
Only the finest and elite
Their children will never need public education
So they allow funding to deplete
Their children will succeed
I believe it's part of their plan
To ensure that high society
Will forever lead the average man
The evidence is no secret
They don't seem to care if we agree
They know they hold this power
So it doesn't matter if we see
Our taxes keep going up
Unemployment is at an all time high
Life keeps getting harder for those just scrapping by
The people making these decisions
Of course they find it easy enough to do
They're not deciding for themselves
They decide for me and you
The truth of the matter is...
This country is ruled by hypocrisy
They disguise this, however, very cleverly
Today it's what we know as Democracy
"A political government run by 'The People' through 'Selected' officials"... Democracy defined
Compare it to the way it was truly designed
Sure we get to 'select the official'
But the one thing they seem to neglect
They pick the people
Many, that corruptive politics help select
My mom forgot to tell me
that it would hurt when you set my heart on fire.
She forgot to tell me that love is just as much pain as it is fun
and that sometimes the fire doesn't go out when the other person dies,
sometimes the fire burns you alive.
You forgot to tell me that death was an option
and that sometimes destiny ******* hates you,
or maybe its me who hates Destiny
for drinking and then deciding to drive.
One thing I learned from you is that cold showers don't stop love
they just freeze the desire to live out of you.
I don't know anymore if my heart is on fire
or if I stepped into that crematorium with you
but I am alone right now
and it makes me mad.
I rewrote this poem. It is called the American Cremation Society.
and we love to be loved
but we don't spend too much time
deciding which one we prefer.
and I love the love we love.
I've loved to love the love
that loves the both of us.
So love the both of us with the love I love so much;
brush away the lust
that clutches to the love I've loved to love:
the love that loves to love
the both of us so much.
Today might be a bad day
And I'm unprepared
Eating chips and drinking minute maid
Because something's making me not care
Leaves falling in my backyard
Along with drizzle in the air
Thinking about how life can be hard
In different ways
Deciding if I should stay in bed
And get destroyed by the storm
Because most times I wonder
Why I was born
- 7/25/17 11:56a.m.
Ever been so hurt...to the point you want to be alone...
But not just alone...alone to the point no ones around not a single thing...and your finally able to breath....
That kind of alone...
To wish for no existence...
Finally deciding to keep some distance...
To be at peace with your mind and nothing can ever make you think twice...
Finally to be alone....
My mother lied to me today
When I found out I had to say
Oh Mother why’d you tell a lie
and from me this thing try to hide?
With a coy smile she looked at me
and spoke in a voice so softly
My dearest son it is my job
to keep you safe, away from harm
At times that may in fact include
in order to hide or seclude
the things in life you should not see
because you’re simply not ready
You may discover on your own
Much later in life when you're grown
But when you're underneath my wing
Your one concern is just to sing
Life’s worries I will take for you
The stress and hurt I will shield too
Life asks a lot and has its pains
and slowly these things you’ll be trained
But in due time; Have patience son
Life's not a race, no need to run
So take your time; stop and enjoy
One day you will not be a boy
Out in the world; learn on your own
Keep with you all the things I've shown
And piece by piece on each you'll build
For you I wish a life fulfilled
There is still much you need to learn
I shield from you all the concerns
It's somewhat understandable
You might be slightly gullible
Because you're simply not aware
So many things from you I've spared
Allowed you distance as you grew
But always kept an eye on you
I gave you room to let you fly
To stretch your wings; explore the sky
And you may not have seen me there
but I did not just disappear
No matter the heights you could reach
I always had more I could teach
So even though at times it seemed
Untethered and were not a team
Could not be further from the truth
Clark Kent changing in a phone booth
When needed became Superman
If duty called I lent a hand
Free range to fly all on your own
Solve problems with the skills I've shown
A carpenter; I gave the tools
But up to you how you would use
My hope that given in due time
the skills you had would exceed mine
And there you'd fly so high above
As I look up; heart filled with love
Amazing heights I know you'll reach
This life we live is up to each
of us deciding what to do
And I'll always believe in you
And just remember as you fly
Wherever you go or how high;
Into the world I've sent you off
to learn life's lessons as their taught
So when you look you might not see
Think I have gone; Can not find me
But whether up or down below
I just want you to always know
You are my son and I love you
No limit to what you can do
The distance might be further now
But since your birth I kept this vow
That you would be under my wing
To keep you safe and watch you sing
Obviously I meant to have this ready
and present it yesterday but it
just didn't work out that way.
Written: May 10, 2018
All rights reserved.
you can go **** yourself!
and she laughed lazily, applying It to everybody
forcing them forward in time with her mind powers
killing the girl over and over in her head
realizing looser control in less of a mind
what if i came back as a bee, or a firefly
i'd forget what humans were
getting high and snuggling pathetically
in the Bring Black Pluto! shirt
receding into rotating personalities
hating her voice like fingernails in the back of her skull
confused by the sickness and disjointed aims of her own diary
emasculating herself because where has he gone
to the sky! in smoke,
with rear view mirrors that pigeontoe inwards
she cannot reconcile that she spends to much time
deciding what to reconcile,
an unbecoming that does happen from time to time
narrows her eyes, could catapult her
over that divider
only in dreams
he will be he will be he will be