hope you like this one,penned it just for you
tryed to capture your backward sentences
and their double meanings
your world spins in reverse
from end to beginning
your been there,done that, attitude
is trying on my soul,you want more
more of what,your silence,is deafning
I can only listen to your thoughts
and swim against their tides
I am not in reverse,nor looking forward
I am in the middle, in the now
and hoping this balancing act,my arms
stretched out, will catch your fall

Long curly hair, afloat in the breeze
short,swift glances
and a deep longing to meet yours;--
-No!
I refuse to fall for you again.
Red full lips, parted;ready to speak,
dry parched throat, denies such action-
-I said, 'No' .
Faster and faster races a shattered heart,
shards clawing on the inside; but you advance nonetheless.
and then... a deafning silence.
come hear the sound of my breaking heart,
come feel the cold raging inside,
come taste the sorrow I now hate.
Is it possible you heard?
That you felt ?
That you tasted?
Is it possible that--
Gentle hands caress me,
And a wamth engulfs what little frame i have;
silencing the screaming winds.
Deep brown eyes wander accross my still face,
finding what exactly; I'll never know.

grief, holding me from embracing the welcoming arms of happiness
ive learned that these bedroom walls, the floor that i crawl, had far too many times witnessed me collapsed and paralysed by my own sick mind.

all i want is nothing more, but for these voices in my head to go, leave me.
leave me in the comfort of deafning silence. i no longer wish to be sick.

I am scorpio
Spiritual suergon
I am water, i am ocean
Tidal waves, my deepest depths.
I sweat the tears
I have not
yet wept.
Abstract dreaming
Though i have not slept.
only then do they seem to manifest
To acknowledge                 
                           the QUINTESSENCE
That of which cannot be kept.
My eyes feel.
My hands see.
My mind grocks
Through the Eye, that is me.
Constant presence of
That silent message
In which this realm
You dare not mention.
Expressive retention
Of that Ethereal essence


Familar it is
To obtain i wish.
I mean That quantum Rorschach..


Did you see what it did?
That esoteric experience
Before you were a kid?
Words cover up the picture
It was trying to define
That deafning sound
That pepherates the mind.
No one can tell it better
than That of a mime.
Still dont get it?
Read the next few lines.

There's a deafning silence in this place
One which creeps like death as frost permeates the landscape
Freezing nothern gales redifine my knowledge of pain
As roots are assaulted with upheaval, the forest whispers my name
The wailing stars up above, and sleeping stones below
In this land of agony ruled by tyrants of snow

Sorrow unending, crests with the moon
A revelry of grief, a portent of doom
The howls of wolves cut through the air like a knives
Grim reminders of our past and better lives
Only a war-torn remainder, plagued with a bloodsoaked mirth
Testament to when heathens ruled the earth

Ravens circle overhead in the blood red sky
Awaiting spiritual carrion as our souls slowly die
There is no golden radiance here
The sun finds no place, only hides in fear
Amongst the pillars we are relinquished
Before a pantheon of oak and birch
Where on thrones of fire, gods perch
Lightening strikes not once, but twice
Honoring us in our glorious fight

To the realm of spirits we ride
One by one swelling with pride
To see our ancestors again
We never in life, feared the end
The constellations call us home
And so we depart, leaving only our bones
Among the sleeping stones and blackened oak

Oh no what have i done.
All i wanted was to not have to bite my tongue
But for some reason i still continue to do so.
But why?
Fear of hurting you?
Fear of breaking your heart.
All i know is im surrounded by crowd
But all i wanna do is quiet the loud.
Sometimes the noise is comforting
Others the silence is deafning.
The bruises on my heart are weak and naked
I dont wanna let you go we are supposed to be forever.
My brain is in shreds
My heart is a mess
But still, i love you.
You dont understand and i dont expect you too
But this pain i feel is too soon
The loss of my mother
The loss of my father
Its is like i have forgotten all of who i am.
I am a girl.
I am a woman.
I am a child.
But i am not whole.
The thought of losing you is a knife to the throat
But why do i feel like im barely afloat.
I mean cmon. We are young lovers wild and free.
Then why is all the trouble with me. I dont know.
I dont know.
I repeat these three words as i plea, please stay with me.
I cant lose you too.
Your love is beautiful like that of a song
And your warm touch gives me this feeling of being wanted.
Thank you for loving me.
I love you too.