Was my best friend always did stuff together we had fights sometimes were happy we acted like sisters we were best of friends

I wouldn't say it was necessarily my decision,
I just let my life play like I was watching it through a vision,
I remember every minute; was never watching for the high lights,
Was waiting for the day id have to ***** to say it's my life,
Instead I scream it's my right, literally living the high life,
Literally living for seconds I'm inhaling, hungry for seconds,
I'll wake up early just because I'm ready for breakfast,
Never had a chain, I lost my head, they call me necklace,
Throwing a hissy,
Fit, starting to wish she,
Would drive home but she just drank all the whiskey,
That ***** gotta be dizzy,
Darian, where you at, starting to wish you were with me,
Wish this bowl wasn't empty,
Wish my friends were more friendly,
I'm so cold,
My souls cold,
You ever thought?,
That you stopped living at 16, smoking *** in apartment complex, parking lots,
Gifted,
So very gifted,
She makes me feel so high much more than ever a spliff did,
I knew her long ago but never knew that it had meant this,
Grandmama as my witness, 6 years later bout to hit it,

I wish my eyes were made of glass,
Each one mirroring a different reality
One consumed by time one consumed by my emotions
Look into my blank canvas of a face where you saw nothing and others saw art
Gaze into my eyes and see your reflection Narcissus
How you have lost your will and let this world metamorphosis you into Darian Gray
Yes see what the world perceives you as and gaze into my other eye seeing what you truly are glimpse the figment of beauty you were and the treacherous creation you are today.
You were an erogenous sight for my soul
Like a flower's first blossom
However I have watched that flower wither and lose every gorgeous petal
That's why I wish my eyes were glass because at least your reflection would have kept you entertained
For from the very beginning I saw everything and now I see nothing in the walking carcass that stands before me
You were so beautiful before I knew the person you are
Before you left my heart with scars
Sheets cover in tears and mind overflowing with nightmares.
Sometimes I wonder if it is better to live in this torment or die here
I wish I go back and talk myself out of that moment
The moment I became you
The man in this mirror