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Ijla Apr 2018
5 30
I ****** awake
To the sound of my alarm
Only to shut it
And close my eyes again
8 00
Another alarm goes off
Letting me know that its time
But I dont want to get up
Or maybe I dont have the will to
So I lie with my eyes closed
Until I drift back into a restless sleep
.......
I wake up again
To the sound of her voice
Calling me to get up
Cux its getting too late
I throw a glance to the clock
Its already half past 11
But I dont understand
Cux It only felt like minutes
12 10
Still lying on me bed
Like a lifeless corpse
I know I should get up
And go through the day
Get my **** together
Cux I got so much to do
So I gather some courage
And try to get up
But then my mind whispers
Lie down
My mind whispers
There is no point in getting up
It tells me, that its still going to be
The dreary days I've come to dread
It tells me that no matter how hard I try
I'm always going to be a disappointment
A shame to the people I care about
And a shame to myself
So I give in
No point in trying huh
12 20
Only 10 minutes passed
But to me,
It felt like an eternity
Drowning in the same waters
Again and again
Until im too tired
To even fight it
12 30
My last alarm goes off
And I know that its now or ever
Either I force myself off the bed
Or lie on it the whole day
Its tempting to just hide away
Under the cozy covers of my bed
But I know otherwise
I know that doing that wouldnt get me anywhere
So those in mind
Giving me courage
I slowly get off my bed
And put on a fake smile
Ready to go through the day
With the alias I made
Over my broken self
Cause if life taught me anything
Its that the sun rises anyway
Dragging you along
Even if you are unwilling
And that time goes on
It doesnt wait for anyone
Not for me, you or anyone else
Not even the spirits that roam around
Cause at the end of the day.. it's just me for myself.
Ps .. couldn't choose a name Feel free to suggest names.
I was to drown in the sea,
but you saved me
only to be killed by you
Oh! The sea tossed me
from one wave of misery to the other
But I liked that torture
than being in your arms
For the first time ever I felt something
that was real and genuine
I said my last prayer of joy
Cux I knew that was it - the end
The end of lies, wound and pain from you
Also the beginning of a bliss
and refreshing air they've talked about
from the other side of the world
where I was bubbly headed
I was prepared to meet death.
Just when I was taking my last breathe,
I met the oncoming arm - you
pulling me out
Aah! It's you again
It pains you to let me go
Yet you ain't ready to treat me right
Why not allow me escape in peace
Like Moana, the sea was calling me
I was to die in the sea
But from today, I'll die in your perilous arms
The day you saved me
was the day I truly died

— The End —