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Like a psychotic docent in the wilderness,
I will not speak in perfect Ciceronian cadences.
I draw my voice from a much deeper cistern,
Preferring the jittery synaptic archive,
So sublimely unfiltered, random and profane.
And though I am sequestered now,
Confined within the walls of a gated, golf-coursed,
Over-55 lunatic asylum (for Active Seniors I am told),
I remain oddly puerile,
Remarkably refreshed and unfettered.  
My institutionalization self-imposed,
Purposed for my own serenity, and also the safety of others.
Yet I abide, surprisingly emancipated and frisky.
I may not have found the peace I seek,
But the quiet has mercifully come at last.

The nexus of inner and outer space is context for my story.
I was born either in Brooklyn, New York or Shungopavi, Arizona,
More of intervention divine than census data.
Shungopavi: a designated place for tribal statistical purposes.
Shungopavi: an ovine abbatoir and shaman’s cloister.
The Hopi: my mother’s people, a state of mind and grace,
Deftly landlocked, so cunningly circumscribed,
By both interior and outer Navajo boundaries.
The Navajo: a coyote trickster people; a nation of sheep thieves,
Hornswoggled and landlocked themselves,
Subsumed within three of the so-called Four Corners:
A 3/4ths compromise and covenant,
Pickled in firewater, swaddled in fine print,
A veritable swindle concocted back when the USA
Had Manifest Destiny & mayhem on its mind.

The United States: once a pubescent synthesis of blood and thunder,
A bold caboodle of trooper spit and polish, unwashed brawlers, Scouts and      
Pathfinders, mountain men, numb-nut ne'er-do-wells,
Buffalo Bills & big-balled individualists, infected, insane with greed.
According to the Gospel of His Holiness Saint Zinn,
A People’s’ History of the United States: essentially state-sponsored terrorism,
A LAND RUSH grabocracy, orchestrated, blessed and anointed,
By a succession of Potomac sharks, Great White Fascist Fathers,
Far-Away-on-the Bay, the Bay we call The Chesapeake.
All demented national patriarchs craving lebensraum for God and country.
The USA: a 50-state Leviathan today, a nation jury-rigged,
Out of railroad ties, steel rails and baling wire,
Forged by a litany of lies, rapaciousness and ******,
And jaw-torn chunks of terra firma,
Bites both large and small out of our well-****** Native American ***.

Or culo, as in va’a fare in culo (literally "go do it in the ***")
Which Italian Americans pronounce as fongool.
The language center of my brain,
My sub-cortical Broca’s region,
So fraught with such semantic misfires,
And autonomic linguistic seizures,
Compel acknowledgement of a father’s contribution,
To both the gene pool and the genocide.
Columbus Day:  a conspicuously absent holiday out here in Indian Country.
No festivals or Fifth Avenue parades.
No excuse for ethnic hoopla. No guinea feast. No cannoli. No tarantella.
No excuse to not get drunk and not **** your sister-in-law.
Emphatically a day for prayer and contemplation,
A day of infamy like Pearl Harbor and 9/11,
October 12, 1492: not a discovery; an invasion.

Growing up in Brooklyn, things were always different for me,
Different in some sort of redskin/****/****--
Choose Your Favorite Ethnic Slur-sort of way.
The American Way: dehumanization for fun and profit.
Melting *** anonymity and denial of complicity with evil.
But this is no time to bring up America’s sordid past,
Or, a personal pet peeve: Indian Sovereignty.
For Uncle Sam and his minions, an ever-widening, conveniently flexible concept,
Not a commandment or law,
Not really a treaty or a compact,
Or even a business deal.  Let’s get real:
It was not even much in the way of a guideline.
Just some kind of an advisory, a bulletin or newsletter,
Could it merely have been a free-floating suggestion?
Yes, that’s it exactly: a suggestion.

Over and under halcyon American skies,
Over and around those majestic purple mountain peaks,
Those trapped in poetic amber waves of wheat and oats,
Corn and barley, wheat shredded and puffed,
Corn flaked and milled, Wheat Chex and Wheaties, oats that are little Os;
Kix and Trix, Fiber One, and Kashi-Go-Lean, Lucky Charms and matso *****,
Kreplach and kishka,
Polenta and risotto.
Our cantaloupe and squash patch,
Our fruited prairie plain, our delicate ecological Eden,
In balance and harmony with nature, as Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce instructs:
“These white devils are not going to,
Stop ****** and killing, cheating and eating us,
Until they have the whole ******* enchilada.
I’m talking about ‘from sea to shining sea.’”

“I fight no more forever,” Babaloo.
So I must steer this clunky keelboat of discovery,
Back to the main channel of my sad and starry demented river.
My warpath is personal but not historical.
It is my brain’s own convoluted cognitive process I cannot saavy.
Whatever biochemical or—as I suspect more each day—
Whatever bio-mechanical protocols govern my identity,
My weltanschauung: my world-view, as sprechen by proto-Nazis;
Putz philosophers of the 17th, 18th & 19th century.
The German intelligentsia: what a cavalcade of maniacal *******!
Why is this Jew unsurprised these Zarathustra-fueled Übermenschen . . .
Be it the Kaiser--Caesar in Deutsch--Bismarck, ******, or,
Even that Euro-*****,  Angela Merkel . . . Why am I not surprised these Huns,
Get global grab-*** on the sauerbraten cabeza every few generations?
To be, or not to be the ***** bullgoose loony: GOTT.

Biomechanical protocols govern my identity and are implanted while I sleep.
My brain--my weak and weary CPU--is replenished, my discs defragmented.
A suite of magnetic and optical white rooms, cleansed free of contaminants,
Gun mounts & lifeboat stations manned and ready,
Standing at attention and saluting British snap-style,
Snap-to and heel click, ramrod straight and cheerful: “Ready for duty, Sir.”
My mind is ravenous, lusting for something, anything to process.
Any memory or image, lyric or construct,
Be they short-term dailies or deeply imprinted.
Fixations archived one and all in deep storage time and space.
Memories, some subconscious, most vaporous;
Others--the scary ones—eidetic: frighteningly detailed and extraordinarily vivid.
Precise cognitive transcripts; recollected so richly rife and fresh.
Visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, and olfactory reloads:
Queued up and increasingly re-experienced.

The bio-data of six decades: it’s all there.
People, countless, places and things cataloged.
Every event, joy and trauma enveloped from within or,
Accessed externally from biomechanical storage devices.
The random access memory of a lifetime,
Read and recollected from cerebral repositories and vaults,
All the while the entire greedy process overseen,
Over-driven by that all-subservient British bat-man,
Rummaging through the data in batches small and large,
Internal and external drives working in seamless syncopation,
Self-referential, at times paradoxical or infinitely looped.
“Cogito ergo sum."
Descartes stripped it down to the basics but there’s more to the story:
Thinking about thinking.
A curse and minefield for the cerebral:  metacognition.

No, it is not the fact that thought exists,
Or even the thoughts themselves.
But the information technology of thought that baffles me,
As adaptive and profound as any evolution posited by Darwin,
Beyond the wetware in my skull, an entirely new operating system.
My mental and cultural landscape are becoming one.
Machines are connecting the two.
It’s what I am and what I am becoming.
Once more for emphasis:
It is the information technology of who I am.
It is the operating system of my mental and cultural landscape.
It is the machinery connecting the two.
This is the central point of this narrative:
Metacognition--your superego’s yenta Cassandra,
Screaming, screaming in your psychic ear, your good ear:

“LISTEN:  The machines are taking over, taking you over.
Your identity and train of thought are repeatedly hijacked,
Switched off the main line onto spurs and tangents,
Only marginally connected or not at all.
(Incoming TEXT from my editor: “Lighten Up, Giuseppi!”)
Reminding me again that most in my audience,
Rarely get past the comic page. All righty then: think Calvin & Hobbes.
John Calvin, a precocious and adventurous six-year old boy,
Subject to flights of 16th Century French theological fancy.
Thomas Hobbes, a sardonic anthropomorphic tiger from 17th Century England,
Mumbling about life being “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.”
Taken together--their antics and shenanigans--their relationship to each other,
Remind us of our dual nature; explore for us broad issues like public education;
The economy, environmentalism & the Global ****** Thermometer;
Not to mention the numerous flaws of opinion polls.



And again my editor TEXTS me, reminds me again: “LIGHTEN UP!”
Consoling me:  “Even Shakespeare had to play to the groundlings.”
The groundlings, AKA: The Rabble.
Yes. Even the ******* Bard, even Willie the Shake,
Had to contend with a decidedly lowbrow copse of carrion.
Oh yes, the groundlings, a carrion herd, a flying flock of carrion seagulls,
Carrion crow, carrion-feeders one and all,
And let’s throw Sheryl Crow into the mix while we’re at it:
“Hit it! This ain't no disco. And it ain't no country club either, this is L.A.”  

                  Send "All I Wanna Do" Ringtone to your Cell              

Once more, I digress.
The Rabble:  an amorphous, gelatinous Jabba the Hutt of commonality.
The Rabble: drunk, debauched & lawless.
Too *****-delicious to stop Bill & Hilary from thinking about tomorrow;
Too Paul McCartney My Love Does it Good to think twice.

The Roman Saturnalia: a weeklong **** fest.
The Saturnalia: originally a pagan kink-fest in honor of the deity Saturn.
Dovetailing nicely with the advent of the Christian era,
With a project started by Il Capo di Tutti Capi,
One of the early popes, co-opting the Roman calendar between 17 and 25 December,
Putting the finishing touches on the Jesus myth.
For Brooklyn Hopi-***-Jew baby boomers like me,
Saturnalia manifested itself as Disco Fever,
Unpleasant years of electrolysis, scrunched ***** in tight polyester
For Roman plebeians, for the great unwashed citizenry of Rome,
Saturnalia was just a great big Italian wedding:
A true family blowout and once-in-a-lifetime ego-trip for Dad,
The father of the bride, Vito Corleone, Don for A Day:
“Some think the world is made for fun and frolic,
And so do I! Funicula, Funiculi!”

America: love it or leave it; my country right or wrong.
Sure, we were citizens of Rome,
But any Joe Josephus spending the night under a Tiber bridge,
Or sleeping off a three day drunk some afternoon,
Up in the Coliseum bleachers, the cheap seats, out beyond the monuments,
The original three monuments in the old stadium,
Standing out in fair territory out in center field,
Those three stone slabs honoring Gehrig, Huggins, and Babe.
Yes, in the house that Ruth built--Home of the Bronx Bombers--***?
Any Joe Josephus knows:  Roman citizenship doesn’t do too much for you,
Except get you paxed, taxed & drafted into the Legion.
For us the Roman lifestyle was HIND-*** humble.
We plebeians drew our grandeur by association with Empire.
Very few Romans and certainly only those of the patrician class lived high,
High on the hog, enjoying a worldly extravaganza, like—whom do we both know?

Okay, let’s say Laurence Olivier as Crassus in Spartacus.
Come on, you saw Spartacus fifteen ******* times.
Remember Crassus?
Crassus: that ***** twisted **** trying to get his freak on with,
Tony Curtis in a sunken marble tub?
We plebes led lives of quiet *****-scratching desperation,
A bunch of would-be legionnaires, diseased half the time,
Paid in salt tablets or baccala, salted codfish soaked yellow in olive oil.
Stiffs we used to call them on New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn.
Let’s face it: we were hyenas eating someone else’s ****,
Stage-door jackals, Juvenal-come-late-lies, a mob of moronic mook boneheads
Bought off with bread & circuses and Reality TV.
Each night, dished up a wide variety of lowbrow Elizabethan-era entertainments.  
We contemplate an evening on the town, downtown—
(cue Petula Clark/Send "Downtown" Ringtone to your Cell)

On any given London night, to wit:  mummers, jugglers, bear & bull baiters.
How about dog & **** fighters, quoits & skittles, alehouses & brothels?
In short, somewhere, anywhere else,
Anywhere other than down along the Thames,
At Bankside in Southwark, down in the Globe Theater mosh pit,
Slugging it out with the groundlings whose only interest,
In the performance is the choreography of swordplay and stale ****** puns.
Meanwhile, Hugh Fennyman--probably a fellow Jew,
An English Renaissance Bugsy Siegel or Mickey Cohen—
Meanwhile Fennyman, the local mob boss is getting his ya-yas,
Roasting the feet of my text-messaging editor, Philip Henslowe.
Poor and pathetic Henslowe, works on commission, always scrounging,
But a true patron of my craft, a gentleman of infinite jest and patience,
Spiritual subsistence, and every now and then a good meal at some,
Sawdust joint with oyster shells, and a Prufrockian silk purse of T.S. Eliot gold.

Poor, pathetic Henslowe, trussed up by Fennyman,
His editorial feet in what looks like a Japanese hibachi.
Henslowe’s feet to the fire--feet to the fire—get it?
A catchy phrase whose derivation conjures up,
A grotesque yet vivid image of torture,
An exquisite insight into how such phrases ingress the idiom,
Not to mention a scene once witnessed at a secret Romanian CIA prison,
I’d been ordered to Bucharest not long after 9/11,
Handling the rendition and torture of Habib Ghazzawy,

An entirely innocent falafel maker from Steinway Street, Astoria, Queens.
Shock the Monkey: it’s what we do. GOTO:
Peter Gabriel - Shock the Monkey/
(HQ music video) - YouTube//
www.youtube.com/
Poor, pathetic, ******-on Henslowe.


Fennyman :  (his avarice is whet by something Philly screams out about a new script)  "A play takes time. Find actors; Rehearsals. Let's say open in three weeks. That's--what--five hundred groundlings at tuppence each, in addition four hundred groundlings tuppence each, in addition four hundred backsides at three pence--a penny extra for a cushion, call it two hundred cushions, say two performances for safety how much is that Mr. Frees?"
Jacobean Tweet, John (1580-1684) Webster:  “I saw him kissing her bubbies.”

It’s Geoffrey Rush, channeling Henslowe again,
My editor, a singed smoking madman now,
Feet in an ice bucket, instructing me once more:
“Lighten things up, you know . . .
Comedy, love and a bit with a dog.”
I digress again and return to Hopi Land, back to my shaman-monastic abattoir,
That Zen Center in downtown Shungopavi.
At the Tribal Enrolment Office I make my case for a Certificate of Indian Blood,
Called a CIB by the Natives and the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs.
The BIA:  representing gold & uranium miners, cattle and sheep ranchers,
Sodbusters & homesteaders; railroaders and dam builders since 1824.
Just in time for Andrew Jackson, another false friend of Native America,
Just before Old Hickory, one of many Democratic Party hypocrites and scoundrels,
Gives the FONGOOL, up the CULO go ahead.
Hey Andy, I’ve got your Jacksonian democracy: Hanging!
The Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) mission is to:   "… enhance the quality of life, to promote economic opportunity, and to carry out the responsibility to protect and improve the trust assets of American Indians, Indian tribes, and Alaska Natives. What’s that in the fine print?  Uncle Sammy holds “the trust assets of American Indians.”

Here’s a ******* tip, Geronimo: if he trusted you,
It would ALL belong to you.
To you and The People.
But it’s all fork-tongued white *******.
If true, Indian sovereignty would cease to be a sick one-liner,
Cease to be a blunt force punch line, more of,
King Leopold’s 19th Century stand-up comedy schtick,
Leo Presents: The **** of the Congo.
La Belgique mission civilisatrice—
That’s what French speakers called Uncle Leo’s imperial public policy,
Bringing the gift of civilization to central Africa.
Like Manifest Destiny in America, it had a nice colonial ring to it.
“Our manifest destiny [is] to overspread the continent,
Allotted by Providence for the free development,
Of our yearly multiplying millions.”  John L. O'Sullivan, 1845

Our civilizing mission or manifest destiny:
Either/or, a catchy turn of phrase;
Not unlike another ironic euphemism and semantic subterfuge:
The Pacification of the West; Pacification?
Hardly: decidedly not too peaceful for Cochise & Tonto.
Meanwhile, Madonna is cash rich but disrespected Evita poor,
To wit: A ****** on the Rocks (throwing in a byte or 2 of Da Vinci Code).
Meanwhile, Miss Ciccone denied her golden totem *****.
They snubbed that little guinea ****, didn’t they?
Snubbed her, robbed her rotten.
Evita, her magnum opus, right up there with . . .
Her SNL Wayne’s World skit:
“Get a load of the unit on that guy.”
Or, that infamous MTV Music Video Awards stunt,
That classic ***** Lip-Lock with Britney Spears.

How could I not see that Oscar snubola as prime evidence?
It was just another stunning case of American anti-Italian racial animus.
Anyone familiar with Noam Chomsky would see it,
Must view it in the same context as the Sacco & Vanzetti case,
Or, that arbitrary lynching of 9 Italian-Americans in New Orleans in 1891,
To cite just two instances of anti-Italian judicial reach & mob violence,
Much like what happened to my cousin Dominic,
Gang-***** by the Harlem Globetrotters, in their locker room during halftime,
While he working for Abe Saperstein back in 1952.
Dom was doing advance for Abe, supporting creation of The Washington Generals:
A permanent stable of hoop dream patsies and foils,
Named for the ever freewheeling, glad-handing, backslapping,
Supreme Commander Allied Expeditionary Force (SCAEF), himself,
Namely General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the man they liked,
And called IKE: quite possibly a crypto Jew from Abilene.

Of course, Harry Truman was my first Great White Fascist Father,
Back in 1946, when I first opened my eyes, hung up there,
High above, looking down from the adobe wall.
Surveying the entire circular kiva,
I had the best seat in the house.
Don’t let it be said my Spider Grandmother or Hopi Corn Mother,
Did not want me looking around at things,
Discovering what made me special.
Didn’t divine intervention play a significant part of my creation?
Knowing Mamma Mia and Nonna were Deities,
Gave me an edge later on the streets of Brooklyn.
The Cradleboard: was there ever a more divinely inspired gift to human curiosity? The Cradleboard: a perfect vantage point, an infant’s early grasp,
Of life harmonious, suspended between Mother Earth and Father Sky.
Simply put: the Hopi should be running our ******* public schools.

But it was IKE with whom I first associated,
Associated with the concept 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
I liked IKE. Who didn’t?
What was not to like?
He won the ******* war, didn’t he?
And he wasn’t one of those crazy **** John Birchers,
Way out there, on the far right lunatic Republican fringe,
Was he? (It seems odd and nearly impossible to believe in 2013,
That there was once a time in our Boomer lives,
When the extreme right wing of the Republican Party
Was viewed by the FBI as an actual threat to American democracy.)
Understand: it was at a time when The FBI,
Had little ideological baggage,
But a great appetite for secrets,
The insuppressible Jay Edgar doing his thang.

IKE: of whom we grew so, oh-so Fifties fond.
Good old reliable, Nathan Shaking IKE:
He’d been fixed, hadn’t he? Had had the psychic snip.
Snipped as a West Point cadet & parade ground martinet.
Which made IKE a good man to have in a pinch,
Especially when crucial policy direction was way above his pay grade.
Cousin Dom was Saperstein’s bagman, bribing out the opposition,
Which came mainly from religious and patriotic organizations,
Viewing the bogus white sports franchise as obscene.
The Washington Generals, Saperstein’s new team would have but one opponent,
And one sole mission: to serve as the **** of endless jokes and sight gags for—
Negroes.  To play the chronic fools of--
Negroes.  To be chronically humiliated and insulted by—
Negroes.  To run up and down the boards all night, being outran by—
Negroes.  Not to mention having to wear baggy silk shorts.



Meadowlark Lemon:  “Yeah, Charlie, we ***** that grease-ball Dominic; we shagged his guinea mouth and culo rotten.”  

(interviewed in his Scottsdale, AZ winter residence in 2003 by former ESPN commentator Charlie Steiner, Malverne High School, Class of ’67.)
                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                 
IKE, briefed on the issue by higher-ups, quickly got behind the idea.
The Harlem Globetrotters were to exist, and continue to exist,
Are sustained financially by Illuminati sponsors,
For one reason and one reason only:
To serve elite interests that the ***** be kept down and subservient,
That the minstrel show be perpetuated,
A policy surviving the elaborate window dressing of the civil rights movement, Affirmative action, and our first Uncle Tom president.
Case in point:  Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman & Metta World Peace Artest.
Cha-cha-cha changing again:  I am Robert Allen Zimmermann,
A whiny, skinny Jew, ****** and rolling in from Minnesota,
Arrested, obviously a vagrant, caught strolling around his tony Jersey enclave,
Having moved on up the list, the A-list, a special invitation-only,
Yom Kippur Passover Seder:  Next Year in Jerusalem, Babaloo!

I take ownership of all my autonomic and conditioned reflexes;
Each personal neural arc and pathway,
All shenanigans & shellackings,
Or blunt force cognitive traumas.
It’s all percolating nicely now, thank you,
In kitchen counter earthen crockery:
Random access memory: a slow-cook crockpot,
Bubbling through my psychic sieve.
My memories seem only remotely familiar,
Distant and vague, at times unreal:
An alien hybrid databank accessed accidently on purpose;
Flaky science sustains and monitors my nervous system.
And leads us to an overwhelming question:
Is it true that John Dillinger’s ******* is in the Smithsonian Museum?
Enquiring minds want to know, Kemosabe!

“Any last words, *******?” TWEETS Adam Smith.
Postmortem cyber-graffiti, an epitaph carved in space;
Last words, so singular and simple,
Across the universal great divide,
Frisbee-d, like a Pleistocene Kubrick bone,
Tossed randomly into space,
Morphing into a gyroscopic space station.
Mr. Smith, a calypso capitalist, and me,
Me, the Poet Laureate of the United States and Adam;
Who, I didn’t know from Adam.
But we tripped the light fantastic,
We boogied the Protestant Work Ethic,
To the tune of that old Scotch-Presbyterian favorite,
Variations of a 5-point Calvinist theme: Total Depravity; Election; Particular Redemption; Irresistible Grace; & Perseverance of the Saints.

Mr. Smith, the author of An Inquiry into the Nature
& Causes of the Wealth of Nations (1776),
One of the best-known, intellectual rationales for:
Free trade, capitalism, and libertarianism,
The latter term a euphemism for Social Darwinism.
Prior to 1764, Calvinists in France were called Huguenots,
A persecuted religious majority . . . is that possible?
A persecuted majority of Edict of Nantes repute.
Adam Smith, likely of French Huguenot Jewish ancestry himself,
Reminds me that it is my principal plus interest giving me my daily gluten.
And don’t think the irony escapes me now,
A realization that it has taken me nearly all my life to see again,
What I once saw so vividly as a child, way back when.
Before I put away childish things, including the following sentiment:
“All I need is the air that I breathe.”

  Send "The Air That I Breathe" Ringtone to your Cell  

The Hippies were right, of course.
The Hollies had it all figured out.
With the answer, as usual, right there in the lyrics.
But you were lucky if you were listening.
There was a time before I embraced,
The other “legendary” economists:
The inexorable Marx,
The savage society of Veblen,
The heresies we know so well of Keynes.
I was a child.
And when I was a child, I spake as a child—
Grazie mille, King James—
I understood as a child; I thought as a child.
But when I became a man I jumped on the bus with the band,
Hopped on the irresistible bandwagon of Adam Smith.

Smith:  “Any last words, *******?”
Okay, you were right: man is rationally self-interested.
Grazie tanto, Scotch Enlightenment,
An intellectual movement driven by,
An alliance of Calvinists and Illuminati,
Freemasons and Johnny Walker Black.
Talk about an irresistible bandwagon:
Smith, the gloomy Malthus, and David Ricardo,
Another Jew boy born in London, England,
Third of 17 children of a Sephardic family of Portuguese origin,
Who had recently relocated from the Dutch Republic.
******* Jews!
Like everything shrewd, sane and practical in this world,
WE also invented the concept:  FOLLOW THE MONEY.

The lyrics: if you were really listening, you’d get it:
Respiration keeps one sufficiently busy,
Just breathing free can be a full-time job,
Especially when--borrowing a phrase from British cricketers—,
One contemplates the sorry state of the wicket.
Now that I am gainfully superannuated,
Pensioned off the employment radar screen.
Oft I go there into the wild ebon yonder,
Wandering the brain cloud at will.
My journey indulges curiosity, creativity and deceit.
I free range the sticky wicket,
I have no particular place to go.
Snagging some random fact or factoid,
A stop & go rural postal route,
Jumping on and off the brain cloud.

Just sampling really,
But every now and then, gorging myself,
At some information super smorgasbord,
At a Good Samaritan Rest Stop,
I ponder my own frazzled neurology,
When I was a child—
Before I learned the grim economic facts of life and Judaism,
Before I learned Hebrew,
Before my laissez-faire Bar Mitzvah lessons,
Under the rabbinical tutelage of Rebbe Kahane--
I knew what every clever child knows about life:
The surfing itself is the destination.
Accessing RAM--random access memory—
On a strictly need to know basis.
RAM:  a pretty good name for consciousness these days.

If I were an Asimov or Sir Arthur (Sri Lankabhimanya) Clarke,
I’d get freaky now, riffing on Terminators, Time Travel and Cyborgs.
But this is truth not science fiction.
Nevertheless, someone had better,
Come up with another name for cyborg.
Some other name for a critter,
Composed of both biological and artificial parts?
Parts-is-parts--be they electronic, mechanical or robotic.
But after a lifetime of science fiction media,
After a steady media diet, rife with dystopian technology nightmares,
Is anyone likely to admit to being a cyborg?
Since I always give credit where credit is due,
I acknowledge that cyborg was a term coined in 1960,
By Manfred Clynes & Nathan S. Kline and,
Used to identify a self-regulating human-machine system in outer space.

Five years later D. S. Halacy's: Cyborg: Evolution of the Superman,
Featured an introduction, which spoke of:  “… a new frontier, that was not,
Merely space, but more profoundly, the relationship between inner space,
And outer space; a bridge, i.e., between mind and matter.”
So, by definition, a cyborg defined is an organism with,
Technology-enhanced abilities: an antenna array,
Replacing what was once sentient and human.
My glands, once in control of metabolism and emotions,
Have been replaced by several servomechanisms.
I am biomechanical and gluttonous.
Soaking up and breathing out the atmosphere,
My Baby Boom experience of six decades,
Homogenized and homespun, feedback looped,
Endlessly networked through predigested mass media,
Culture as demographically targeted content.

This must have something to do with my own metamorphosis.
I think of Gregor Samsa, a Kafkaesque character if there ever was one.
And though we share common traits,
My evolutionary progress surpasses and transcends his.
Samsa--Phylum and Class--was, after all, an insect.
Nonetheless, I remain a changeling.
Have I not seen many stages of growth?
Each a painful metamorphic cycle,
From exquisite first egg,
Through caterpillar’s appetite & squirm.
To phlegmatic bliss and pupa quietude,
I unfold my wings in a rush of Van Gogh palette,
Color, texture, movement and grace, lift off, flapping in flight.
My eyes have witnessed wondrous transformations,
My experience, nouveau riche and distinctly self-referential;
For the most part unspecific & longitudinally pedestrian.

Yes, something has happened to me along the way.
I am no longer certain of my identity as a human being.
Time and technology has altered my basic wiring diagram.
I suspect the sophisticated gadgets and tools,
I’ve been using to shape & make sense of my environment,
Have reared up and turned around on me.
My tools have reshaped my brain & central nervous system.
Remaking me as something simultaneously more and less human.
The electronic toys and tools I once so lovingly embraced,
Have turned unpredictable and rabid,
Their bite penetrating my skin and septic now, a cluster of implanted sensors,
Content: currency made increasingly more valuable as time passes,
Served up by and serving the interests of a pervasively predatory 1%.
And the rest of us: the so-called 99%?
No longer human; simply put by both Howards--Beale & Zinn--

Humanoid.
For those among us who lived by the rules,
Lived frugal lives of *****-scratching desperation;
For those who sustained a zombie-like state for 30 or 40 years,
For these few, our lucky few—
We bequeath an interactive Life-Alert emergency dog tag,
Or better still a dog, a colossal pet beast,
A humongous Harlequin Dane to feed,
For that matter, why not buy a few new cars before you die?
Your home mortgage is, after all, dead and buried.
We gave you senior-citizen rates for water, gas & electricity—
“The Big 3,” as they are known in certain Gasoline Alley-retro
Neighborhoods among us,
Our parishes and boroughs.
All this and more, had you lived small,
Had you played by the rules for Smurfs & Serfs.

We leave you the chance to treat your grandkids
Like Santa’s A-List clientele,
“Good ‘ol Grampa,” they’ll recollect fondly,
“Sweet Grammy Strunzo, they will sigh.
What more could you want in retirement?

You’ve enabled another generation of deadbeat grandparents,
And now you’re next in line for the ice floe,
To be taken away while still alive,
Still hunched over and wheezing,
On a midnight sleigh ride,
Your son, pulling the proverbial Eskimo sled,
Down to some random Arctic shore,
Placing you gently on the ice floe.
Your son; your boy--
A true chip off the igloo, so to speak.
He leaves you on the ice floe,
Remembering not to leave the sled,
The proverbial Sled of Abbandono,
The one never left behind,
As it would be needed again,
Why not a home in storage while we wait?
The family will surely need it sometime down the line.

A dignified death?
Who can afford one these days?
The question answers itself:
You are John Goodman in “The Big Lebowski.”
You opt for an empty 2-lb can of Folgers.
You know: "The best part of waking up, is Folger's in your cup!"
That useless mnemonic taught us by “Mad Men.”
Slogans and theme songs imbibe us.

Zombie accouterments,
Provided by America’s Ruling Class.
Thank you Lewis H. Lapham for giving it to us straight.
Why not go with the aluminum Folgers can?
Rather than spend the $300.00 that mook funeral director
Tries to shame you into coughing up,
For the economy-class “Legacy Urn.”
An old seduction:  Madison Avenue’s Gift of Shame.
Does your **** smell?” asks a sultry voice,
Igniting a carpet bomb across the 20-45 female cohort,
2 billion pathetically insecure women,
Spending collectively $10 billion each year—
Still a lot of money, unless it’s a 2013
Variation on an early 1930s Germany theme;
The future we’ve created;
The future we deserve.

Now a wheelbarrow load of paper currency,
Scarcely buy a loaf of bread.
Even if you’re lucky enough to make it,
Back to your cave alive,
After shopping to survive.
Women spend $10 billion a year for worry-free *****.
I don’t read The Wall Street Journal either,
But I’m pretty **** sure,
That “The Feminine Hygiene Division”
Continues to hold a corner office, at
Fear of Shame Corporate Headquarters.
Eventually, FDS will go the way of the weekly ******.
Meanwhile, in God & vaginal deodorant we trust,
Something you buy just to make sure,
Just in case the *** Gods send you a gift.
Some 30-year old **** buddy,
Some linguistically gifted man or woman,
Some he or she who actually enjoys eating your junk:
“Oh Woman, thy name is frailty.”
“Oh Man, thou art a Woman.”
“Oh Art is for Carney in “Harry & Tonto,”
Popping the question: “Dignity in Old Age?”
Will it too, go the way of the weekly ******?
It is pointless to speculate.
Mouthwash--Roll-on antiperspirants--Depends.
Things our primitive ancestors did without,
Playing it safe on the dry savannah,
Where the last 3 drops evaporate in an instant,
Rather than go down your pants,
No matter how much you wiggle & dance.
Think about it!

Think cemeteries, my Geezer friends.
Of course, your first thought is
How nice it would be, laid to rest
In the Poets’ Corner at Westminster Abbey.
Born a ******. Died a ******. Laid in the grave?
Or Père Lachaise,
Within a stone’s throw of Jim Morrison--
Lying impudently,
Embraced, held close by loving soil,
Caressed, held close by a Jack Daniels-laced mud pie.
Or, with Ulysses S. Grant, giving new life to the quandary:
Who else is buried in the freaking tomb?
Bury my heart with Abraham in Springfield.
Enshrine my body in the Taj Mahal,
Build for me a pyramid, says Busta Cheops.

Something simple, perhaps, like yourself.
Or, like our old partner in crime:
Lee Harvey, in death, achieving the soul of brevity,
Like Cher and Madonna a one-name celebrity,
A simple yet obscure grave stone carving:  OSWALD.
Perhaps a burial at sea? All the old salts like to go there.
Your corpse wrapped in white duct/duck tape,
Still frozen after months of West Pac naval maneuvers,
The CO complying with the Department of the Navy Operations Manual,
Offering this service on « An operations-permitting basis, »
About as much latitude given any would-be Ahab,
Shortlisted for Command-at-sea.
So your body is literally frozen stiff,
Frozen solid for six months packed,
Spooned between 50-lb sacks of green beans & carrots.
Deep down in the deep freeze,
Within the Deep Freeze :
The ship’s storekeeper has a cryogenic *******
Deep down in his private sanctuary,
Privacy in the bowels of the ship.
While up on deck you slide smoothly down the pine plank,
Old Glory billowing in the sea breeze,
Emptying you out into the great abyss of
Some random forlorn ocean.

Perhaps you are a ******* lunatic?
Maybe you likee—Shut the **** up, Queequeg !
Perhaps you want a variation on the burial-at-sea option ?
Here’s mine, as presently set down in print,
Lawyer-prepared, notarized and filed at the Court of the Grand Vizier,
Copies of same in safe deposit boxes,
One of many benefits Chase offers free to disabled Vets,
Demonstrating, again, my zombie-like allegiance to the rules.
But I digress.
« The true measure of one’s life »
Said most often by those we leave behind,
Is the wealth—if any—we leave behind.
The fact that we cling to bank accounts,
Bank safe deposit boxes,
Legal aide & real estate,
Insurance, and/or cash . . .
Just emphasizes the foregone conclusion,
For those who followed the rules.
Those of us living frugally,
Sustaining the zombie trance all these years.
You can jazz it up—go ahead, call it your « Work Ethic. »
But you might want to hesitate before you celebrate
Your unimpeachable character & patriotism.

What is the root of Max Weber’s WORK ETHIC concept?
‘Tis one’s grossly misplaced, misguided, & misspent neurosis.
Unmasked, shown vulnerably pink & naked, at last.
Truth is: The harder we work, the more we lay bare
The Third World Hunger in our souls.
But again, I digress.  Variation on a Theme :
At death my body is quick-frozen.
Then dismembered, then ground down
To the consistency of water-injected hamburger,
Meat further frozen and Fedex-ed to San Diego,
Home of our beloved Pacific Fleet.
Stowed in a floating Deep Freeze where glazed storekeepers
Sate the lecherous Commissary Officer,
Aboard some soon-to-be underway—
Underway: The Only Way
Echo the Old Salts, a moribund Greek Chorus
Goofing still on the burial-at-sea concept.

Underway to that sacred specific spot,
Let's call it The Golden Shellback,
Where the Equator intersects,
Crosses perpendicular,
The International Dateline,
Where my defrosted corpse nuggets,
Are now sprinkled over the sea,
While Ray Charles sings his snarky
Child Support & Alimony
His voice blasting out the 1MC,
She’s eating steak.  I’m eating baloney.
Ray is the voice of disgruntlement,
Palpable and snide in the trade winds,
Perhaps the lost chord everyone has been looking for:
Laughing till we cry at ourselves,
Our small corpse kernels, chum for sharks.

In a nutshell—being the crazy *******’ve come to love-
Chop me up and feed me to the Orcas,
Just do it ! NIKE!
That’s right, a $commercial right in the middle of a ******* poem!
Do it where the Equator crosses the Dateline :
A sailors’ sacred vortex: isn’t it ?
Wouldn’t you say, Shipmates, one and all?
I’m talking Conrad’s Marlow, here, man!
Call me Ishmael or Queequeg.
Thor Heyerdahl or Tristan Jones,
Bogart’s Queeq & Ensign Pulver,
Wayward sailors, one and all.
And me, of course, aboard the one ride I could not miss,
Even if it means my Amusement Park pass expires.
Ceremony at sea ?
Absolutely vital, I suppose,
Given the monotony and routine,
Of the ship’s relentlessly vacant seascape.
« There is nothing so desperately monotonous as the sea,
And I no longer wonder at the cruelty of pirates. «
So said James Russell Lowell,
One of the so-called Fireside Poets,
With Longfellow and Bryant,
Whittier, the Quaker and Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.,
19th Century American hipsters, one and all.

Then there’s CREMATION,
A low-cost option unavailable to practicing Jews.
« Ashes to ashes »  remains its simplest definition.
LOW-COST remains its operant phrase & universal appeal.
No Deed to a 2by6by6 foot plot of real estate,
Paid for in advance for perpetuity—
Although I suggest reading the fine print—
Our grass--once maintained by Japanese gardeners--
Now a lost art in Southern California,
Now that little Tokyo's finest no longer
Cut, edge & manicure, transform our lawns
Into a Bonsai ornamental wonderland.
Today illegal/legal Mexicans employing
More of a subtropical slash & burn technique.

Cremation : no chunk of marble,
No sandstone, wood or cardboard marker,
Plus the cost of engraving and site installation.
Quoth the children: "****, you’re talking $30K to
Put the old ****** in the ground? Cheap **** never
Gave me $30K for college, let alone a house down payment.
What’s my low-cost, legitimate disposal going to run me?"

CREMATION : they burn your corpse in Auschwitz ovens.
You are reduced to a few pounds of cigar ash.
Now the funeral industry catches you with your **** out.
You must (1) pay to have your ashes stored,
Or (2) take them away in a gilded crate that,
Again, you must pay for.
So you slide into Walter Sobjak,
The Dude’s principal amigo,
And bowling partner in the
Brothers Coen masterpiece: The Big Lebowski.
You head to the nearest Safeway for a 2-lb can of Folgers.
And while we’re on the subject of cremation & the Jews,
Think for a moment on the horror of The Holocaust:
Dispossessed & utterly destroyed, one last indignity:
Corpses disposed of by cremation,
For Jews, an utterly unacceptable burial rite.
Now before we leave Mr. Sobjak,
Who is, as you know, a deeply disturbed Vietnam vet,
Who settles bowling alley protocol disputations,
By brandishing, by threatening the weak-minded,
With a loaded piece, the same piece John Turturro—
Stealing the movie as usual, this time as Jesus Quintana—
Bragging how he will stick it up Walter’s culo,
Pulling the trigger until it goes: Click-Click-Click!
Terrestrial burial or cremation?
For me:  Burial at Sea:
Slice me, dice me into shark food.

Or maybe something a la Werner von Braun:
Your dead meat shot out into space;
A personal space probe & voyager,
A trajectory of one’s own choosing?

Oh hell, why not skip right down to the nitty gritty bottom line?
Current technology: to wit, your entire life record,
Your body and history digitized & downloaded
To a Zip Drive the size of the average *******,
A data disc then Fedex-ed anywhere in the galaxy,
Including exotic burial alternatives,
Like some Martian Kilimanjaro,
Where the tiger stalks above the clouds,
Nary a one with a freaking clue that can explain
Just what the cat was doing up so high in the first place.
Or, better still, inside a Sherpa’s ***** pack,
A pocket imbued with the same Yak dung,
Tenzing Norgay massages daily into his *******,
Defending the Free World against Communism & crotch rot.
(Forgive me: I am a child of the Cold War.)
Why not? Your life & death moments
Zapped into a Zip Drive, bytes and bits,
Submicroscopic and sublime.
So easy to delete, should your genetic subgroup
Be targeted for elimination.
About now you begin to realize that
A two-pound aluminum Folgers can
Is not such a bad idea.
No matter; the future is unpersons,
The Ministry of Information will in charge.
The People of Fort Meade--those wacky surveillance folks--
Cloistered in the rolling hills of Anne Arundel County.
That’s who will be calling the shots,
Picking the spots from now on.
Welcome to Cyber Command.
Say hello to Big Brother.
Say “GOOD-BYE PRIVACY.”

Meanwhile, you’re spending most of your time
Fretting ‘bout your last rites--if any—
Burial plots on land and sea, & other options,
Such as whether or not to go with the
Concrete outer casket,
Whether or not you prefer a Joe Cocker,
Leon Russell or Ray Charles 3-D hologram
Singing at your memorial service.
While I am fish food for the Golden Shellbacks,
I am a fine young son of Neptune,
We are Old Salts, one and all,
Buried or burned or shot into space odysseys,
Or digitized on a data disc the size of
An average human *******.
Snap outta it, Einstein!
Like everyone else,
You’ve been fooled again.
trestrece May 2014
Hoy me di cuenta de que todos somos un horrible cliché. Que más que interactuar y aplicar papeles y máscaras con el mundo que nos rodea, sobreactuamos, somos farsantes. Ya nadie nos cree. Ni nosotros mismos ni nuestros mejores amigos. Estamos solos y exageramos. Nos convertimos en bufones de los otros y ellos de nosotros. Que lento, que estúpido, que patéticos.

Hoy me di cuenta de que aquellos que parecían gentiles, amables y chamanes se han perdido, se han ido. Se han convertido en malabarismo de onomatopeyas, en cacofonías de libertad artificial. Hoy me di cuenta de que perdí el respeto por lo que creía superior a mí y que tal vez en mi ego, en mi megalomanía, he superado al maestro.

Me han aburrido los grandes sabios del mundo. Todo aquel jurando que la verdad está en sus palabras y en un video bonito. En la prepotencia de la única razón, ortodoxa falsificación de poder. ¿Cuánto tiempo no preví esta charlatanería? Y los idiotas, al final han tenido la razón, la que no quisimos ver. Años pasaron desde mi encuentro con los falsos trogloditas borgianos; ahora me arrepiento de no haber prestado más atención.

Siempre uno cerca de la muerte aprende y recuerda algo. Epifanías de cincuenta centavos y hierbas toqueteadas por el kitsch y el sinsabor viejo de un hierbero, de una calabaza de mate sin un cebador profesional. ¿Cuántos años, siglos, nos hemos tardado en psicologizar a los perros? El epítome del ser humano: sanar el ánima animal.

Pretendemos que lo que hacemos es original y pretendemos crear rupturas en la conciencia pública. Nosotros no somos Hakim Bey y mucho menos agentes del caos. Somos pretensiones de unicidad que cansan al hablar. Somos odio e indiferencia entre protagonistas de cada película hedonista. Nadie será trastornado por una belleza brutal más que tu falsa autoestima.

He prometido a la virgen, exvoto tras milagros que creo sentir. Mater dolorosa, he visto tanto mal… He hecho tanto mal. ¡Que ignorancia la tolerancia! Sentirse humilde ante falsos profetas ha sido el peor de mis pecados, jamás miré de donde aparecía la paloma blanca. Caí muy bajo y al parecer es tarde para rectificar. ¿Será este el punto donde vi o veré la luz? ¿Habrá más allá después del inicio de semana? ¿Habrá amor? ¿Habrá algo más que esta triste apuesta con convicción de orador?

Pretensiones de Gingsberg y actores sobrevalorados por bellas sonrisas. Interpretaciones de aquello que se cree pretender, ni siquiera ser. Pero siempre, el bueno de la película. Yo prefiero a las locas y las putas que la doble moral del cínico con cara de ángel cocainómano. Yo prefiero aquella de la infección vaginal y la tristeza embarrada en el cuello. Yo prefiero al homosexual de closet que ama con pasión, y las lesbianas cristianas que se rasuran las axilas para encajar socialmente en la bella estética de portería, de revista “Teen Sport”, Sport Spice, Pepsi y futbol. Latinismos a la Salma Hayek y relojería armamentista.

Prefiero movimientos involuntarios y errores. Perder la conciencia para saber que se ha perdido todo, que solo quedan las buenas noticias debajo de la bata de un hospital, con el culo al aire y los tubos controlando tu cuerpo. Viajar no me sirve de nada si no huyo de los fantasmas, si revivo miradas de comadrejas y camaradas que piensan que el arte, la poesía y el comunismo salvarán de alguna manera y desde su liderazgo al mundo; y sobre todo, que todo debe ser como ellos crean que sea.

****: se dice “natzi” no “nasi”. Los alemanes y franceses son sensuales al hablar español. Pronunciando la “r” como un bello gargajo. Escupitajo en retretes de ideología escatológica. Jedis con obesidad exógena frenan el movimiento cerebral. Cefaleas de obscuridad y lipotimias que me recuerdan rasguños antiguos. Cicatrices de épocas salvajes.

Marchas de vaginas violentadas, liberadas y repletas de castigos divinos. Y tú, tú apenas eres un recuerdo forzoso. Una brisa con leve olor a meados. A triste esperanza de poeta maldito, que los reblogs de una página le recuerdan el pesar. Diálogos žižekianos preparados para impresionar hipsters. Lo posmoderno de un Manchester tercermundista y la bicicleta como justificación, como disfraz del ñoño, de aquel que sabe pero que igual es un loco con miedo y visiones conspiranoicas; con tanta incapacidad, con tanta tristeza y miedo a morir como cualquier otro animal.

Goffman se quedó corto, jamás miró Marimar; jamás tuvo perfil en Facebook, blog, ni presentó a Lady Gaga en los MTV. Vestidos de carne, así se describe el género humano: todos somos un artista pop. Preguntas perfectas para congresos de embaucadores, de gitanos sociales. De adivinos de tres pesos con beca del FONCA.

¿Enserio a los 30 años y dándote cuenta de la doble moral mexicana, renegando con cicatrices en las muñecas? ¿Cómo no me di cuenta antes de que lo que buscaba no estaba en este teatro? Cuanta pérdida de tiempo, cuánto desperdicié con sofistas y feministas que reúnen redes pro-ana en la clandestinidad de la diarrea polifacética y políticamente correcta.

Una de esas florecitas que creía solo crecían en mi pueblo, me cansas pequeña. Prefiero las sonrisas tachadas y los ojos cansados del escritor que juega billar. Poco tiene sentido y poco hay que hacer. He perdido el deseo de convivir con esta sociedad más no las ganas de estar vivo.
(bad) trip | 2012 | guadalajara | 313
Kickin' all the way the Live Coolio
deep in ya Culo/
it's that Boy Yosef comin' with major Flavas/
with so Many Styles more than a Hair Doo Voodoo/
got ya eyes on ya know Who?/
so many ****** wanna Smoke me
Cuz im the New Joint/
puttin' sparks to ya Head ****** Red/
if u thinkin' about Frontin'' Me/
ill make u Crossover like EPMD/
Rap Fanatic since i was Swimmin' in the ******* the Mack Attack/
hittin' all your perspectives
im takin' out all the Primitives/
in the Rap Game Shoot ya Stick
try again my- Flows erected as a ****/
in between ***** *****
so take Chance it ya Want/
Watch the gun taunt
in ya Face  a sad Disgrace/
Slappin' a new taste
in ya Mouth i Dropped it
my Style can't be Competed
you Obsoleted
i'm Makin Profits the Funk Baby!!!!


Many Emcees sweet as a KitKats
so cut the Chit Chat/
cuz im bout to Splatter their careers into pieces
Gotthem Envisionin' Doubles
like Noah i Told ya
the Tru Soldier Rollin' Dogia/
marchin' to the Beat with my Vocal
a Tru Loco/
when i'm sippin E & J **** an Airplay pinin' Indo/
playin' suckas close like who's holdin' the most/
weight? Pushin' rhymes like weights
Loots stay Connected like freight Train Crates/i Dominate from all states
that's why they Call Me All-State/
but ya Ain't in Good Hands
-tryna Step to the Big Man
keep u heated galore like Afghanistan gettin' in that *** like Sand/
so take Stand and a Bow cuz im the Prowl/
for that Number One Slot
ya rhymes loose as Jar Jelly
**** what the critics tell me
"Mr Big Stuff" girls call me "Heavy D"
From then shaft that lays between me
the Funk Baby!!!
70s funk soul poetry real hip hop southern *****
quiero escribirte mil gordas,
gordas formadas en líneas,
gordas tiradas en el pasto,
gordas con sus lonjas libres y sin fajas ni pantalones dos tallas menos que asfixien los tejidos de mi piel:
quiero cantarte una gorda canción.

gordas pinches gordas,
gordo el culo gordo el corazón,
gordas las piernas y los muslos,
las caderas.... tentación.

gordas !gordas son las anchas glorietas de la avenida gorda de la ciudad gorda donde todos los gordos y las gordas bailan un son que dice:

tu eres golosa golosa y glotona, tu eres golosa golosa y glotona,
pinche gorda poderosa
tu eres fuerte tu eres diosa
tus curvas son deliciosas
templo lavado con miel
para mi tu eres sagrada
dulce, fuerte y cotizada

gorda tu eres toda gorda,
vos sos toda gorda,
amante gorda,
gorda estudiante,
gorda madre,
gorda hija,
gorda espíritu santa.

¡bienvenidos a gordaztlan!
donde mandamos las gordas
y nuestro proceso de colonización conlleva amar nuestras lonjas,
nuestra panza, nuestras chichotas.

¡donde nada es imperfecto!
ni el lunar bajo del labio,
ni los pelos de la panocha.

¡pasen pasen! por las anchas puertas de nuestro gordo destino,
dicen que la vida es flaca
pero gordo es el camino,
en una mano el elote
en la otra mano el pepino,

con tortillas, chile gordo,
gordolagas con tocino.

¡gorda! ¡gorda!
sube tallas
¡y ven a bailar conmigo!
Natalia Rivera Nov 2014
Exijo que alguien me diga en donde está escrito que una mujer solo puede tener **** con una persona y si pasa de ese número automáticamente es puta. Si, este pensamiento es algo machista pero lo peor de todo es que es utilizado más en las mujeres que en los mismos hombres, me explico.

Las mujeres ven una mujer la cual se viste mostrando lo que le da la gana y rápido piensan en la palabra puta, cuando ven a otra mujer besándose con uno hoy y otro mañana piensan en que es una puta sin valores, cuando otra mujer tiene **** con más de 5 personas en dos meses lo que piensan es una puta que no se respeta. ¿Acaso creen que esta no es una actitud machista?
Mujeres que exigen igualdad entre hombres y mujeres pero critican a mujeres que se atreven a ser quienes son mientras que ellas están sentadas soplándose el culo y criticando. ¿Este pensamiento es tan poco prudente y es tan común hoy día, cual es el problema con que una persona, sea mujer u hombre, se sienta bien consigo mismo y decida tener una vida ****** plena? Son libres de hacer lo que quieran. Ellos escogen: con quien, con cuantos y en que lapso de tiempo lo hacen.

Pero como esta acusación estúpida radica más en las mujeres quiero concluir con esto. Mujer que me lees:
Si deseas vestirte con un traje corto y un escote en las tetas hazlo.
Si te gustan tres personas y tienes la oportunidad de besarlos a los tres hazlo.
Si quieres tener **** hoy con uno y mañana con tres hazlo.
Hazlo, olvídate del que dirán las personas porque seas casta, virgen y pura o puta, atrevida y coqueta hablaran de ti.

Natalia Rivera.
Nacen puestos de gafas, y una piel de levita,
y una perilla obscena de culo de bellota,
y calvos, y caducos. Y nunca se les quita
la joroba que dentro del alma les explota.

Pedos con barbacana, ceremoniosos pedos,
de su senil niñez de polvo enlevitado,
pasan a la edad plena con polvo entre los dedos,
sonando a sepultura y oliendo a antepasado.

Parecen candeleros infelices, escobas
desplumadas, retiesas, con toga, con bonete:
una congregación de gallardas jorobas
con callos y verrugas al borde del retrete.

Con callos y verrugas, y coles y misales,
la dignidad del asno se rebela en la enjalma,
mirando estos cochinos tan espirituales
con callos y verrugas en la extension del alma.

Alma verruguicida, callicida la vuestra.
Habéis nacido tiesos como los monigotes,
y vivís de puntillas, levantando la diestra
para cornamentar la voz y los bigotes.

Saludáis con el ano, no arrugáis nunca el traje,
disimuláis los cuernos con laureles de lata.
No paráis en la tierra, siempre vais de viaje
por un pais de luna maquinal, mentecata.

Nacéis inventariados, morís previa promesa
de que seréis cubiertos de estatuas y coronas.
Vais como procesados por el sol, que procesa
aquello que señala delito en las personas.

Os alimenta el aire sangriento de un juzgado,
de un presidio siniestro de abogados y jueces.
Y concedéis los pedos por audiencia de un lado,
mientras del otro lado jodéis, meáis a veces.


Herís, crucificáis con ojos compasivos,
cadáveres de todas la horas y los días:
autos de poca fe, pastos de los archivos,
habláis desde los púlpitos de muchas tonterías.

Nunca tenga que ver yo con estos doctores,
estas enciclopedias ahumanas, aplastantes.
Nunca de estos filósofos me ataquen los humores,
porque sus agudezas me resultan laxantes.

Porque se ponen huecos igual que las gallinas
para eructar sandeces creyéndose profundos:
porque para pensar entran en las letrinas,
en abismos rellenos de folios moribundos.

Sentenciosas tinajas vacías, pero hinchadas,
se repliegan sus frentes igual que acordeones,
y ascienden y descienden, tortugas preocupadas,
y el corazón les late por no sé qué rincones.

No se han hecho para estos boñigos los barbechos,
no se han hecho para estos gusanos las manzanas.
Sólo hay chocolateras y sillones deshechos
para estas incoherencias reumáticas y canas.

Retretes de elegancia, cagan correctamente:
hijos de puta ansiosos de politiquerías,
publicidad y bombo, se corrigen la frente
y preparan el gesto de las fotografías.

Temblad, hijos de puta, por vuestra puta suerte,
que unos soldados de alma patética deciden:
ellos son los que tratan la verdadera muerte,
ellos la verdadera, la ruda vida piden.

La vida es otra cosa, sucios señores míos,
más clara, menos turbia de folios, de oficinas.
Nadan radiantemente sus cuerpos en los ríos
y no usan esa cara de múltiples esquinas.

Nunca fuisteis muchachos, y queréis que persista
un mundo aparatoso de cartón estirado,
por donde el cartón vaya paticojo y turista,
rey entre maniquíes de pulso congelado.

Venís de la Edad Media donde no habéis nacido,
porque no sois del tiempo presente ni del ausente.
Os mata una verdad en el caduco nido:
la que impone la vida del siempre adolescente.

Yo soy viejo: tan viejo, que el primer hombre late
dentro de mis vividos y veintisiete años,
porque combato al tiempo y el tiempo me combate.
A vosotros, vencidos, os trata como a extraños.
Trapos, calcomanías, defunciones, objetos,
muladares de todo, tinajas, oquedades,
lápidas, catafalcos, legajos, mamotretos,
inscripciones, sudarios, menudencias, ruindades.

Polvos, palabrería, carcoma y escritura,
cornisas; orinales que quieren ser severos,
y se llevan la barba de goma a la cintura,
y duermen rodeados de siglos y sombreros.

Vilmente descosidos, pálidos de avaricia,
lo que más les preocupa de todo es el bolsillo.
Gotosos, desastrosos, malvados, la injusticia
se viste de acta en ellos con papel amarillo.

Los veréis adheridos a varios ministerios,
a varias oficinas por el ocio amuebladas.
Con el **** en la boca canosa, van muy serios,
trucosos, maniobreros, persiguiendo embajadas.

Los veréis sumergidos entre trastos y coños
internacionalmente pagados, conocidos:
pasear por Ginebra los cojones bisoños
con cara de inventores mortalmente aburridos.

Son los que recomiendan y los recomendados.
La recomendación es su procedimiento.
Por recomendación agonizan sentados
donde la muerte cómoda pone su ayuntamiento.

Cuando van a acostarse, se quitan la careta,
el disfraz cotidiano, la diaria postura.
Ante su sordidez se nubla la peseta,
se agota en su paciencia la estatua más segura.

A veces de la mala digestión de estos cuervos
que quieren imponernos su vejez, su idioma,
que quieren que seamos lenguas esclavas, siervos,
dependen muchas vidas con signo de paloma.

A veces son marquesas íntimas de ambiciones,
insaciables de joyas, relumbronas de trato:
fracasadas de título, caballares de acciones,
dispuestas a llevar el mundo en el zapato.

Putonas de importancia, miden bien la sonrisa
con la categoría que quien las trata encierra:
políticas jetudas, desgastan la camisa
jodiendo mientras hablan del drama de la guerra.

Se cae de viejo el mundo con tanto malotaje.
Hijos de la rutina bisoja y contrahecha,
valoran a los hombres por el precio del traje,
cagan, y donde cagan colocan una fecha.

Van del hotel al banco, del hotel al paseo
con una cornamenta notable de aire insulso.
Es humillar al prójimo su más noble deseo,
y el esfuerzo mayor le hacen meando a pulso.

Hemos de destrozaros en vuestras legaciones,
en vuestros escenarios, en vuestras diplomacias.
Con ametralladoras cálidas y canciones
os ametralllaremos, prehistóricas desgracias.

Porque, sabed: llevamos mucha verdad metida
dentro del corazón, sangrando por la boca:
y os vencerá la ferrea juventud de la vida,
pues para tanta fuerza tanta maldad es poca.

La juventud, motores, ímpetus a raudales,
contra vosotros, viejos exhombres, plena llueve:
mueve unánimemente sus músculos frutales,
sus máquinas de abril contra vosotros mueve.

Viejos exhombres viejos: ni viejos tan siquiera.
La vejez es un don que cederá mi frente,
y a vuestro lado es joven como la primavera.
Sois la decrepitud andante y maloliente.

Sois mis enemiguitos: los del mundo que siento
rodar sobre mi pecho más claro cada día.
Y con un soplo sólo de mi caliente aliento,
con este soplo dicté vuestra agonía.
Santiago Jan 2015
Todo lo ves rifando uno tres
Un padre entre el desmadre
El varrio de los pobres
Nunca tuvimos dinero
El meromero ser primero
Siempre seguir adelante
Controlando el bolante
No caer para ver mi progreso
Tambien aumentar el ingreso
No soy un pinchi menso
Porque que cres no me venso
Alcontrario con la mente yo pienso
Me voy recio miro hacia enfrente
Combirtiendome en el presidente
No son simple mentiras
Puro polvo es lo que respiras
Esclavitud es todo lo que tu miras
No lo cres en la noche sal y talves
Del mes ya despues de las tres
Muchos mueren otros pierden
La vida sigue rolando altanto
En las calles caminando
Soy commando con el mando
Con patadas te mando volando
A putasos y zintadazos
Te dejo tirado pisado a un lado
Carajo no sabias yo nunca me rajo
Te rompo las berijas y los labios
Te tumbo las orejas y manos
Pa que veas te quebro los dientes
No seas culo para que no mientas
Me aseguro que todo lo sientas
Te llene la frente de sangre roja
Y los ojos morados bien cortados
Hinchados como un pinchichango
Mi despedida sera mi ultima salida
Te lleno de plumas como gallina
Un maricon dejandote en el rincon
Llorando como la grand vieja
Te llamaran dona siega la ballunca
Que no se te cruze en mente nunca
Santiago May 2015
Se llama Blanca Novoa
La conoci un jueves
Fue mi amante mi pasado
La puse a un lado
Tenia un corazon sencillo
Estaba lista bien al tiro
Pienso mucho de mi hijo
Cuando lo miro, yo suspiro
Profundo, respiro auxilio
Mi ex novia, un dia fue mia
Me trato al cien, muy bien
Machin, sin fin los dos,
Felizes, pero el cielo triste
Me viste, despues te salistes,
Nunca supe de ti,
Me dejastes al olvido,
Bien ahogado y undido,
Solo pido, ver a mi jemelito
Chikito, el que carga mi
Pito con gran sonido,
Y mi wuebos colgando, volando te mando si sigues chingando, la neta dejame ver mi chamaco, hoy lo veras te aplaco y te trago como un taco, soy loco no naco, pinchi parajo opaco, regresame a mi nino santiago, lo extrano mucho pero ya es muy tarde, lo secuestraste, te lo llevastes y guardastes, para hirte bien lejos de mi, llevandote mi papi chulo, y despues darme una patada en el culo, me abandonaste, al suelo me tirastes, y me rebatastes mi vida, luego fuego me hechastes, y con lumbreme cuemastes, pero yo se que eres un angel, fuistes  dulce como miel siempre fiel, pero bien herida de los golpes de la vida, del mundo llenando tu corazon oscuro con lagrimas y dolor, tu sangre se lleno de ardor, y te convertistes en serpiente, no fuiste tu tenlo presente, perdiste, lo tengo en mente, eres buena pero al fin el mundo te tumbo a lo profundo rapido en segundos, nomas te pido a mi squinkle, para comprarle su favorito chickle, y darle de comer su gerber, cuidarlo en mis manos, estar con el todos mis anos, mi duele un chingo solo me chupastes mi energia, dejandome una gran herida, fui solo tu bebida, gatorade laid & paid tu emergency aid, me dejastes dormido sin energia, con tu saliva, tan viva, como una divina diva, me sentia bien arriba, pero mas adelante no encontraba salida, perdido escondido super prendido, dame lo que me pertenece, dios me bendicio con mi gallo damelo o sino te lo arrebato!!!
Santiago May 2015
Yo no paro hasta que todos mueran
Los ultimos que cuedan
Del satanas tienen que murir
Todos esos malvados tienen que sufrir
El machete, con un balazo en el cachete
Los mando pa su muerte la tumba
Los ahogo con una funda en silencio
Se mueren despacio dia tras dia cayendo
Estos cobardes les buelo la mazeta
Como el rey azteca, les saco el corazon
Por ser culo mamon, el pendejo cabron
Soy un maestro chingon, estes mi canton
Para siempre sera, hoy y manana lo veras
Te lo puedo comprovar no soy esclavo
Pero si un bago, so ponte a un lado
Porque estas bien lejos del clavo
Hechate para tras porque te dejo enterrado
Por dejabo, ah carrajo eres un pinchi chango
Vete a comer un mango, pinchi tango caprisun, you better run and go have some fun, before I lay your *** out with this laser gun, leave you fast asleep, you should listen to your peeps, porfavor hasme el favor
Cuitate la a chingada, ya me encabronastes
Mi mente me corruptistes y borastes
Mucha intelligencia que cargaba guardada
Pero te voy a lanzar con la plebada
Lista y armada, para una buena chingisa
Te den un buen banio, y buena vaniada
Sarah Writes Jun 2013
His sister Culo
Had it much worse than he
He, blind and bound
By cool moist earth walls
Wriggled
With such downward mobility
Only to flower backwards
To watch as his legs rose higher
Until they pierced the surface of the world
And his toes became weeds
And his head became a potato.
Dj spinning the wheels of steel
Best lyrics I spill that send thrills
Picture perfect Picasso
Make my own moves like Carlito
Move dinero black don Vito
Keep suckas in check
So stay off my grande bicho
We turn culo into closed
Casket I'm.cold heartless *******
That's my persona
Smoke more yay then T Montana
Took a bite of the forbidden monzana
Tell these fools I don't bang
With panics only frantics
Childish antics make for required carcasses
I'm bark up the wrong trees
Rivalries I love em I'm.above em
Eight levels ahead with mad bread
Hotter than a baker
Brew up the hardest thymes
The lyrical barrister call me Mr
Big stuff Cuz my peace heavy d
Mid weight like hos who can shake
They **** looser than Jello
I'm a president never let me peoples go
Modern day pharaoh with a thorough
Of wisdoms hearts full of clay
Which means I'm cruddy no fears
Show ya real tears like when the shot gun
Enters ya body goin at 200 miles per second
I'm reluctant the only one to ever bless the mic when I recite don't try to fight
Only to meet ya fall and mobster even gall
After me butnnever touch my epitome
In the safe house with my spouse
Tucked in ya blouse
Homes!! Ya minstrel cycle leakin'
Which means ya close to shakin'
Hands with the grim reaper
Puff cabbage make the biggest clouds
Now ya resting lovely open casket
Awaiting to be covered with the shroud!!


So I was made out of bed ruckus
On this day
Iheard a voice say
Its a new born king
And then i couldn't cling
Onto the *******
That troubled me before i reached the age of three
I aint lying my brain fryin'
Cuz i seen so many people dyin'
Spiritual or physical
Still im a miracle
**** the haters n spectators
Learn gamed from affilated
Street creditors
The game done change since '95
Im all the waylive
Like coolio im in ya culo
Blazin' a shot gun enema
Yo this aint no cinema
My game tight learned wrong from right
Still battlin' the fight
On my bday suit quick to shoot
Down clowns revengin' my buried historical grounds
Lately im comin' back Penetratin the
Hearts of sin
Only to find my self back where it all began???
Butch Decatoria Aug 2016
Check out the ink,
authentic as a groupie giving it up
each memorable stain
Taints / scars
"see this one, that was the time...
on the road, the streets of concrete and black"

waking up with something missing
another concert and back
stage passing out
green rooms become lucky charms
                                      "magically delicious"
when molly and 'cid drown out
the loud self hatred howl
the piercing sounds like snow on a telly
made of wood / in the hollow
of the skull
screaming fans
get giving head
(another Grateful Dead
teddy tats
le mort - with top-hats)

Check out the ink on them cats
'cuz its cool to hit it
And just like that,
they're just like bruises
Rorschach birth mark
Skin art muses
like permanent stickers
Yang and yin
punch bug & liquor
Business inc.

quarter machine
bouncy ***** and shiny things--
Smiley face!            
Have a nice day!
Happy colors cover up
To hide the deeper pain that dont hurt
but slowly softly kills
somewhere inside
where somethings
gone missing...
(now they swallow pills)

...

Like plumes of flamboyant flocks
Birds of dying paradise
and schools of shimmering fish,
Anima and abyss
Inside this living planet, all
makes for interesting documentary
nature shows
            since nuture blows
Goes to show
Some guardians using
back of the hand
belt / buckle / switch

Yo peeps pay close attention...
Check out the ink
swats and ****
                   wears wife beaters
and his chick in the summers
wears faux
furs of mink...
***** on roller skates without a rink
expert skill sets for Sonic
always runaways
drive by drive-thru,
So cool I'll call 'em Culo...
Wouldn't you?


*(In their natural habitats, the group and packs
and ****** of crows, find one another
Lushious... candy color coded hides...
like the wilde-beast their multitudes progress
run migratory trails anywhere from the law
or their own **** making a mess...
Welcome
Mutual Of Omaha's Wild kingdom
in permanent ink ... stains...
memorable times...               wasted)
'A vita è bella, sì, è stato un dono,
un dono che ti ha fatto la natura.
Ma quanno po' sta vita è 'na sciagura,
vuie mm' 'o chiammate dono chisto ccà ?

E nun parlo pè me ca, stuorto o muorto,
riesco a mm'abbuscà 'na mille lire.
Tengo 'a salute e, non faccio per dire,
songo uno 'e chille ca se fire 'e fà.

Ma quante n'aggio visto 'e disgraziate :
cecate, ciunche, scieme, sordomute.
Gente ca nun ha visto e maie avuto
'nu poco 'e bbene 'a chesta umanità.

Guerre, miseria, famma, malatie,
crestiane addeventate pelle e ossa,
e tanta gioventù c' 'o culo 'a fossa.
Chisto nun è 'nu dono, è 'nfamità..
cuando en Toledo Ohio andrew sinclair
empezó a caminar sobre el mundo
dijo "esto es así" y no lloró
pensó lo verde de la época

acostó la cabeza en los pechos maternos como fatigado de pronto
por tanta comprobación
los pechos daban flores de leche que caían al piso
y calentaban la memoria
ahora que andrew sinclair es grande

andrew sinclair es grande o es triste
con candelas encendidas pasó lo bajo de la noche
¡oh corazón ardiente hecho pedazos!
los fue sembrando como fieras o furias

¿pero andrew sinclair está aquí?
¿todavía hace sonar su tristeza como un terrible cañón?
¿no caza pajaritos?
¿anda por ahí andrew sinclair?

en la mitad de su memoria la mamá está de pie
dándole de comer a las gallinas o lavando los platos
con manos lentas bellas grises
que daban brillo como el sol

y abrigaban al andrew sinclair ¡ah caminante!
los demonios del valle le comieron los pies
pero él se inclinaba bajo el sol
brillando como madre

los demonios tiene dos cuernos en la cabeza y pelos en los pies
y echan llamas por la boca y el culo
se comen los ratones sin pelar
bailan como gitanos se beben de un trago medio balde de agua

pero andrew sinclair no
él tiene un joven corazón
lleno de islas con tigres y garzas
bellísimo bellísimo

abajo de andrew sinclair había un río
y más abajo un sol
y debajo la noche
para nosotros dos
Mi gustas grande culo or hoes fits for my thick bicho we got bigger stock than Costos hate Oreos they eat bullet holes
For the last supper slick with the upper cut rhymes for ya mind sound one time
My tactics splattered tricks like stacks of **** you nothing but garbage I'm seekin' carnage open souls like a garage no mirage
It's just a glimpse of ya last breath embrace death nothing left
You bound to Yosef crown destiny found
When I was in the dark corridors with no floor visions of blood and war time to soar my fame to the heights of an eagle attitude like Vegeta mixed with Segal beat the illegal system cuz my money strengthen
Like pastors of corrupted Christians souls shiftin' to another dimensions game lyncher soul quencher casket soon to fit ya if ya
Try to go near my epitome diggin' through ya orifice pin to a sacrifice like Christ
I'm naughty and nice leave chicken head spliced like a dice once my **** bites
Mental venom in em becomes a victim of my lyrical concoction Frankenstein through my lines I'm one of a kind you'll never find a skill like mines

No matter the topics Ill drop it sick my optics so take a pic
Flashin' of a dissembled smelly carcass flows the darkest none can mark us but only spark us
With the spliff that brings me close to the cliff
Like Huxtables givin' birth to the universal portals
Thoughts made in gestational
Paradoxical though makin' creations enlighten hypen to a Mason while fame y'all chasin' my homies lacin' bullets for those wastin'
Time in the lime light I'm shining blight enticin' fright deeper than Pennywise visualise the dopest analyze otherwise
You'll be despised and demised cut out eyes with ya head between ya thighs
I'm on some Viking torture let the vultures peck at ya skull I'm reaching stats unbelievable unbreakable put suckas in critical
Condition once I begin' dumpin'
Bullets stickin' like flour to chicken higher degrees depths felt through death epiphanies no strong breeze
Could ever slow me forever holding the crown critics swimming in mainstream only to drown
Branded with a  Nubian princess prepare for the beat down
Check my worth my flows gettin' mucho networth
Similiar to new birth creatin' girth yo who's worse
Than these chuckie cheese emcees talkin' like they
Killin' the industry but they under me
Like they sneaky keep killers and rukas with me
**** a street credibility I even seen a homeless man catch a body
In Little Italy another tally tossed in the alley now he walkin' in the valley
In the Shadow of death holdin'  my clips I bust til.its nothing left
Then reload if I gotta got more magic than Harry Potter
Burn you with my lyrical lava meltin' all seven of ya chakras
Fools swear they Hollywood like Chaka
Khan this one's for big pun puttin' holes in one
Like a swing from golf club linked with a holy cherub
Rollin' herbs to calm my nerves so my rhymes can reserve
The beat down comin' next to the MC that tries to serve
Me with the weak bars I'll leave em with stars
Wreck em like a car collision see my visions
They lock up mentally into a prison
From my rhymin' aligorithm

Not from Nueva York I be an iron man like Tony Sparks
Suckas scared of the light cuz I got the Dark
Forces around me nothing but energy
Suckas magnetized by my mental Infantry
Gunnin' with grande ammo never wear camo
Knockin' out Uncle Tom's to ***** I be the true culo
By nature hate fakers
and ******* who ain't nothing but **** shakers
Picture takers flashing ya death soon to see the undertaker
Now ya back to creator
Lyrics bashing ya puttin' fear in ya heart
None could part I'll gassed you like a ****
Body stinky rule the world like Brain and Pinky
The rights a genuis and left is insane
Comin' with divine bars that soak like polyurethane
Got the strength of ten Banes simple and plane
Get my flow through puffin' that spiritual cane
Angels knocked on the doors of my mental out pours
Nothing but bars from Galaxy afar
Look up see me naw
It's a bird a plane naw it's Yosef with words that gain
No losses boss of the bosses fools hangin' on rhymes
Like tree mosses
Cuando el culo quiere juete, él mismo lo solicita
LKenzo Dec 2020
Me perdí a mi misma
en el culo de una botella de vino
Me entregué a la luna
como si mi vida fuese mística
con extrañas mentiras posadas en tus labios
Sintiendo electricidad con cada trago
y como mi corazón descansa en paz
con cada paso.
Viendo cosas que preferiría no ver
y siendo alguien que no quiero ser.
Porque pienso más de lo que debería pensar
y bebo más de lo que me gustaría admitir
al final del día nunca acabo haciendo
lo que le prometí a mi reflejo esa mañana...
Bebo más de lo que me gustaría decir
bebo tanto que ni siquiera puedo sonreír
y cada vez que bebo me olvido de mi,
solo y únicamente te pienso a ti...

Las aguas calmas de un tranquilo río
vino rosado al amanecer, bajo el árbol de la colina
siento cada una de las gotas de lluvia
que golpean con suavidad contra mi cara
estoy de rodillas, contemplando tu sonrisa
Expulsé todo el veneno de mi cuerpo
solo me quedan
las aguas calmas de un tranquilo río
Prométemelo, no te puedes ir
contigo me siento como nunca me sentí
he olvidado todo por lo que alguna vez bebí
no recuerdo porque anoche sufrí.
Acaricia mi pelo como las hierbas mi cuerpo
vino rosado corriendo por tus labios
bajo el árbol de la colina.
Sé mi espada en la noche,
sé mis pájaros cantores.
Vino rosado contra la escarcha de hielo
resbalando sobre la capa del lago congelado
engañando a la escurridiza muerte.
Una ligera llovizna peina el prado
a lo largo, como una cortina,
aunque esté fuera el Sol, aunque no haya nubes
en el cielo.
La escalera se deshace
se me escapa, de entre los dedos, la noche,
las aguas vuelven a su cauce
y yo vuelvo a intentar olvidarte.
Endy509 Oct 2018
Over the last couple months , we have grown together. We have cried together, laughed together, and survived together.. I can talk to you all day and still find you fascinating.
This Thursday is seventeen months with you... The best seventeen months of my life,though we had many break ups ,but I think they served their purposes ,You have encouraged me, supported me, and believed in me when I felt like quitting. You've held me close during my breakdowns and laughed with me during our (extremely often) tickle fights,you have tamed the beast that I was .there are so many things I love about us ,and much more to come that I can’t wait to adore ,I’m prepared for the obstacles we will face ,I’m prepared for the big steps we will take ,I know with you by my side ,nothing will be impossible for us .

I love that we’ve asked the hard questions of ourselves, and of each other, without fearing the answers. Even when the questions sounded stupid and the truth in the answers was terrifying.
My sweet pea ,Apple of my eye,one day you will be the only reason I will want to come home to you ,our journey is a journey of thousand miles ,we will face sandstorm ,drought ,but to make it to the final miles we have to take one steps ,and we have been taking them babe .Some days the steps go backward, but we keep going cause that’s what we need to do .

You are love to me. You are joy to me.

“In an attempt to prevent pain, we prevent joy. Pain isn’t the opposite of joy. Joy flows on the banks of pain. That’s what joy is. That’s what marriage is. That’s what life is. It’s not shying away from pain. Denying the possibility of pain is the opposite of joy. Pain gives joy a place to flow.”

Don’t beat yourself up mon Amour ,don’t think you only the ones who have wanted to quit ,Have there been times I wanted to quit? Plenty
Without lying ,I know this relationship isn’t easy ,it’s never easy ,sometimes trust is hard to establish ,sometimes goals are hard to set ,sometimes we don’t want to compromise ,we don’t want to change ,our relationship hasn’t been easy ,sometimes it’s next to impossible,but is it worth it ?you bet your cute culo it is ,cause through it all ,our love keep growing ,notre petit Amour devient grand .

One day our love will create 4 little monkey,2 female 2 male,one day it will create a family .
For the laughter and for the tears and for seventeen -times-many more months :

In love with you still ,always,

Black Panther Aka Endy ,Your luna
Email sent to my love for our 17 months together

— The End —