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Pencil scratching words out
Silence
The sound of paper and lead connecting
Rustling
Frustration, not meaning what you write
Eraser comes out
The crumbler of words
Rubs across the unwanted
And now unsaid
Words that don’t let you speak your mind
Wipe the crumbled words away
Let them fly off the table
Land on the ground
Begin an adventure
That only crumbled words can
Rolling out into
Toiaywahds
Shifting
Changing
Fitting
Into what it means
What do I say
The crumbled words representing
Things you would never dare admit
imssoiuy
liveoouy
Unscrambling
Rearranging
Letting themselves free
I miss you
I love you
Brushing those haunting
Impacting, changing words away
Keeping yourself
Alone
Safe
lonely
Inspired by a friend who once told me she called erased words crumbled words
September Roses Nov 2017
Rot
My soul has started to rot
Charred black by the flame of heartbreak
Cold as the night you left
I don't think I'm breathing anymore
The feeling of dread carried in with the wind through every open window
Every shadow whispers your name
I feel myself fading as fast as you left
I don't feel the drive and passion anymore
My happy place has crumbled to dust, broken fragments of reality
The air I breath poisons my lungs as I fall faster and faster into the hellish hole that appears on every path
My heart as empty as the canyons that used to make me feel free
My breath as cold as the pouring rain that used to send me to sleep
My soul as rotten as the core of the witches apple
The witch that has cursed me
Cursed me with the boulders I carry on my shoulders
Cursed me to lie when I say I'm fine
Truly and honestly made for poetry not of reality
Mike lowe Feb 2015
I wrote a poem for her today.... No no no, thats no good way to start it.
"You are my heart beat and i couldn't live without it." Nope thats no good either.

I just want to please her.. Even my best attempt to meet her wouldn't be enough to see her. I crumbled it up and threw it away, I erased it all, all the words I couldn't say.

Maybe writing a poem would be the way. A crumbled up piece of paper, and all that is left on it to say "I wrote you a poem today"
liz Oct 2014
These events in my mind are
aged and crumbled up like
a piece of worthless paper,
because I apparently, am the
only one who remembers it all.
This is all so unsettling.
From everything that they did,
to what the others did;
am I truly that worthless?
One night dragged onto the other
without a pause.
Continuously left behind.
Finding myself alone in these places
that are truly worthless.
'Stupid girl'
is what runs through my mind
as quickly as the people leave
me behind.
How worthless am I
compared to dust?
I see everything black and white.
The color faded away when
the happiness did.
How worthless can these eyes become?
Trying to please everyone
just brought me too far down.
Everybody treats eachother the same.
So how worthless
can these smiles get?
Lie after lie is what is
always told and heard these days.
I see that those spells have been
casted on me many times.
How worthless am I
to be told these lies?


But at the end of the day,
worthless is truly non-existent.
No matter what, everyone
will get shot down-
But everyone will find hope.
We all have that one thing
we find that's not so
worthless.
You have to find
deep within youself that
it's only you that will listen
to what the others say and do
And hold it against yourself.
You have to power
To turn around and be the one
to call them worthless this time.
Because when it comes down to it,
How worthless can someone be
to make you think you're worthless.
Carter Ginter Sep 2017
Did I ever tell you
Why I stopped drinking?
Why I am so terrified
To take a sip alone?
How that one time after class
My heart was broken
And I skipped the glass
And drank straight from the bottle?
How I crumbled into a ball
Under my favorite blanket
My mind screaming through the halls
Fighting off the demons trying to drown me?
Of course I always want to die
That's something I've learned to live with
But never before in my life
Had I known that I could give in.
Yet there I lay crying
Wasted with a racing mind
Begging to give in to dying
But instead I went to sleep.
So when my depression intensifies
And I run to my substances
I am so terrified
So alcohol is the last option.
Because it could be my last decision.
indigochild Dec 2018
Am I a crumpled sheet of paper in the hands of my predators?
We are told a crumble sheet of paper can never be the same again.

My own thoughts strangled my voice as my body refused to listen to my brain
“No” did not come out. Apparently my kicking was not enough.

To touch my skin felt like fire burning through my veins, fire that ignited my predator
I never knew a sensual touch could feel so haunting.

Hopelessly sinking into the bed that became an ocean, water drowning me and continuously pulling me further down
Maybe if I surrender my body it will go faster.

Words disintegrating from my lips with the ashes of consent and destroying my trust for any human to touch my skin
How can I let another be this close when all I feel is you again?

Circling the drain of intimacy
I remember what your hands felt like. What if theirs feel the same?

I wear the damage like an extra layer of skin
This is deeper than just ***. How can I love again? How can I trust again?

My body used against me more than the number of fingers on my hand
Do I tell them? What if their afraid to touch me? What if I’m afraid to touch them?


They have to go.
The Affair

I fell in love with childhood,
he wore a red cape
made of polyester plaid,
tiny stitches of lines
circulated around his palm.
He never wore a mask,
his memories wore enough of one,
a fog remnant of a dream,
his home he’d never see again
all along the river, led up to a lake.
It didn’t matter anyway,
a wedge upon two brick walls
was a plaque – or a warning –
a memorial, perhaps, but
all succumbed to his pain,
every inch crumbled to dust.  
That’s when I took his childhood away.
I fell in love with memories.
Robin Carretti Aug 2018
Let's not make this long speech
    my best moment to reach
    Casablanca-*******
Day in and Craker Jack out what!!
Please the kiss needs to be longer__

The piano plays incredibly stronger
So short the "Cheez Wiz" visit

Oh! My the lovely edible dish
The long wish
too long its been
way too longare we short on

The strawberry short cake
Please make no mistake
   ******* Barrel crackers
I am Jamming sweet grape jam
Orange marmalade home run slam
New Orleans  Southern hospitality
Don't rain on my parade

    Robin-Tweet
C-R-A-c-k-E-Rs
Cozy-Real
A++ Collection can't be beat
King Eternity the Queen *******
Cheese deck what a home wreck
Green Guacamole animal
 crackers green Scrooge

"Long story Witchcraft"
The spell his magic fingers
French Tickler ******* winner
Those finger foods gift matcher
She sees little red riding hood
Getting the right Judge Judy
homemade Country fudge

VIP ******* may I RIP cracked
the code computer hacker
Afterthought but don't
come towards me she's bulletproof
It's today coffee dark swirls
Proud Mary got cracked mug
I only have eyes for
      Sunny

The Leap jump for all
Easter bunny
Long appetizers in her tray
The longer the wait like the
Meisers
The same star how I
met all the losers

Moms *******
Saltine stuffing
I am longing for English crackers
Like a ritual, out of time lips chuckle
Sweet Berry cheeks and lovely dimples
This life will burn and crumble

Over crumbled crackers?

Dog wear collars of polka dots
Vacation spot Meditterian crockpots
by the sea
Sea salt sprinkling saltine
over the shoulder, good luck
Feeling love sick her revolver
crackers to meet her four leaf clover

This is not only__New York City
  "Apricot" cracked wheat dot dot
What white as a sheet
Longshot transformation
To the Stepford wifes
Robot desperately seeking crackers
The best honey milk

 bedroom eyes like
Star shape crackers
the ship watch your salty lip
The shepherd's pies short skirts
Vampires blood jelly
Be Jolly Santa's baby *******
wicked plot "Santa Claus"
*** of gold belly at a glance

Cheesecake Factory
Trampling over crackers
What a time for a boycott
What fine attribute of
girl scouts
Getting blondie
brownie points

Someone passed her
screen test mirror mirror
cracked the glass shot
Astronaut gravity goes insanty
The third eye three reasons

"Soap Opera Diamonds"
three times got cracked
*** matters lips sensually
Madonna Vogue
The oyster's long love rumors
She just loves her jelly roll and
Mr. Graham crackers

Just appreciate those cracked
wheat ladies
Sesame melba toast short top
of the crack
Whats the matter?
With your daughter
He longs for her divine crackers
That's another short chapter

They crack up those actors
The writer needed to
find more movie extras
Groucho mark with
joke of crackers
The jackpot was hard to hit
Everyone was better to
crack the safe long neck
My lady Giraffe*

The true lover's knot
Your poem is worth the shot
Astronaut I brought you
The perfect flight the men
with the mustache
The salt and pepper shaker
Elvis the King is shaking
Long shot ******* butter fingers
Happy Holiday to all
This is a long shot to wherever you want to go but I cracked the safe what crackers can actually do it is a long shot we arent through
Sarah Kersey Aug 2015
Over the course of my unavoidably finite life I have always looked for the best in people
I believe that every human being has a soul
I believe that deep down within all of us
Beneath our silver hearts and our metal lungs lie good intentions
We stray from these as time passes
Time, an irrelevant concept at the most
Has made us all fools
We agonize over the number of minutes we are wasting as our lives drag on
Throwing away seconds like used tissues
Throwing away people like used tissues
Throwing away our lives like used tissues

We wreck everything around us
Concern is a forgotten custom
We would do anything to forget
We are all very quick to judge

We treat everything as disposable and recklessly dive into the unknown for the chance of excitement
But as an unavoidable result,
We wreck everything around us
There are men walking the streets with shoes tied to their backs whistling a tune about a man ******* ******* and getting money
This man doesn’t have a dime to his name and the last time he made love to a woman she screamed in disgust when she saw the disease he picked up from another man when he was 17 and ******
There are women waiting in the shadows of the alleys, waiting for their prey to come along and take them for a spin just for a Benjamin Franklin or two
This woman was taught that *** was a way to survive and that Benjamin Franklin could save anything, since that was all her dad sent her in the mail, as if that was an okay way to make up for leaving
There are teenage boys staring down at green leaves crumbled into nothing and white candied sugar that doesn’t taste so sweet
This Harvard bound boy just threw it all away because the pressure became just a bit too much and the only escape that was left was in the form of artificial highs that will destroy his brain until he’s as useless as a used tissue
There are teenage girls who are downing a bottle of coconut *** and getting on the road to go home so they can take their AP exam the following morning
This broken hearted girl who was just trying to forget her ex by swallowing the taste of Hawaii just killed another man in a head on collision
We wreck our lives for the pure possibility of enjoyment
We are all just looking for ways to forget and make up for all these lost moments that don’t even exist
A moment is never truly lost because it ceases to exists
Yet we forget this all in the thrill of it

Time is just a sugar coated limit on our lives that we fret over in order to worry about something
But maybe what we should be worrying about is the boy snorting coke in the bathroom
Not only should we be worried about his inhalation of the fast white lady,
But we should also be concerned over the circumstances surrounding him
He’s got scars on his wrists that he’s gained from war
Not Vietnam or Iraq but the war in his mind
But maybe we should be worrying about the girl selling herself on the street
She’s got eyes like fire but there’s burn marks slashed across her back from her “mother” shoving her onto the hot burning stove when her daddy left as a way to get out her anger
But maybe we should be worrying about the man with the shoes on his back
The disease that girl avoided will **** him in a matter of months and he hasn’t spoken to his mother in 10 years
She’s about to lose her only son to the ground because of some stupid party and some washed up drunk boy just looking for a good time without any concerns or protection
Or maybe we should worry about the teenage girl whose sitting in the jail cell drunk off her *** and being charged with vehicle manslaughter
Her ex is now lying under a white sheet, dead as can be, all because she was stupid enough to try to get amnesia from a bottle of forbidden poison

We would do anything to forget
We **** up our lives for the pure chance of amnesia
We all just want our innocence back
That teenage girl would love to forget how she lost her virginity to a boy who didn’t love her
But now she’s wearing black at a funeral staring at the face of a man she truly did love with her hands trapped in handcuffs behind her back
The man with the shoes would love to forget how he was once a straight-A student destined to be the next Steve Jobs
But all because of some frivolous party and the sleeping he did in his health class freshman year, he’s given up on the possibility of love and companionship and he’ll be rotting in the ground next to his father by the age of 34
The teenage boy would love to forget what it’s like to live with a beast in your mind with a red name tag stamped with the title ‘depression’
But instead he’s slashing his wrists in the bathroom as his blood splatters across the remaining ******* that lines the basin of the sink
The woman would love to forget the story of her accidental conception
But instead she hides in the alleys looking like a replica of her dad and just a little too much like the woman at the post office he got a bit too friendly with
We drown ourselves in the possibilities of falling into this idealistic dream world laced with melatonin and codeine as our brain collapses in on itself and our memories float away
This is the dream
Yet we cannot grasp it

We are all very quick to judge
We are all self-absorbed beings who form opinions on these four humans who are built of the same skin and bones as us
Yet we don’t take a second to look just a little bit deeper
The woman you considered a ******* whose been abused and beaten by a mother that’s not even her own?
She has a college degree and won three spelling bees when she was 12 years old
She can spell the word promiscuous faster than you can breathe out
She’s got flower crowns wilting in her closet that contain rotting lilies from her wedding bouquet
Her husband left her just like her dad did
The teenage boy, who you considered an emo, suicidal, washed up ******* addict?
He volunteers at the hospital and tries to help other kids suffering from the same disease that plagues his mind, even though he can’t help himself
He listens to only country music and sometimes when he picks his sister up from ballet recitals, they sing it together, extra loud with all the windows down
The man you judged as a homeless, lonely, STD-ridden loser?
He’s got thousands and thousands of dollars he pays to a nurse each week to take care of the mother he hasn’t spoken to in 10 years
He grew up on nothing, with only shoes on his back, and made himself into something
He made himself into a millionaire over a silly idea that resembled Facebook
And now he’s resorted back to his childhood ways in order to keep a woman healthy that kicked him out of the house when she found out he was bisexual
The girl who you considered some ******, blonde, drunk idiot who just killed her ex by pure accident?
She’s a natural brunette and she only dyed her hair because her ex told her it would make her pretty
Her self-esteem is so low it lies in the core of the earth, burning in hell, where she believes she’s going to end up because she lost her virginity before marriage
She’s got a purity ring resting in the threads of her carpet and a ****** wrapper in the trash laced with regret
She fell in love with somebody who treated her like she thought of herself, and she let him take the only part of her she had pride in because she believed he loved her

But now the woman with the flower crowns hiding in the alley has become a victim of **** because of some ******* who wasn’t carrying a Benjamin Franklin or a ******
But now the boy with a love for Luke Bryan is lying on the bathroom floor of some high school party in a pool of his own blood, slipping into oblivion
But now the man supporting his mother is in the hospital because of a disease in his genitals
But now the teenage girl is in prison for life

These are all just stories of imaginary people
Yet it all feels deathly real
Take us back to our youth
Take us to a land of the forgotten
Shashank Virkud Dec 2010
You were a different version of the religion,
you were a ****** of the region when we met.
I had the brownest eyes. You had the greenest eyes.
chin sits perfectly in shoulder,
hand fits in hand, molded.
I had hair like a little girl's. You had hair like a little boy's.
Both half ******, my arms were as thin as yours, and toned.
You didn't own a single curve, just edges and bone.
Only your lips were soft. Only my lips were soft.
The fading light bounced off the angles of my abdomen and visible ribcage,
made your mouth water. With a shy,
curling finger,
you called me over to you.
It drove me wilder.

We undressed each other under the covers.
You giggled and I crumbled when you saw
I needed help with the clasp of your bra.
I chuckled, returned the favor when you gave up on my belt buckle.
I had the body of a little girl. You had the body of a little  boy.
The sheets wound around and pressed us together,
You had the hardest hips. I had the hardest hips.
You compromised what was inside your mind;
I felt those first few moans rattle your
visible ribcage and escape through lips pursed
like a porcelain doll.
Took it all in, held on to your fragile frame
and from the moment we were free,
two children in the wilderness.
DP Younginger Nov 2014
Red streaks of thin hair, finely cured,
Sugar-coded skin, sweet yet sticky inside…and then you sniff,
Freshly sliced with soft cries for help, the grass grows,
Dried in the most delightful setting; a miniature shadow of the sun,
The initials share a basketball in one palm-
-The pop from the stereo reflects the ripple of a king-
-----------------------0----------------------------0------­-------------------
A complete package within, once the engine has revved- the liftoff-
Find yourself inside of her powers; the majestic magic maneuvers the mind,
Mend many memories and flick the switch on the motionless projector,
Guilty pleasures please the people and protect peaceful guidance,
Keep close the cultivation of a captivating lover-
-She will rise in your soul like helium in the lungs-
--------------------0--------------------0----------------­----
She, who I breathe for, calls my name; forever entering the cave,
I broke off a chunk of everything she has grown to be,
Crumbled, chalk-like pollen, piles into mounds of distraction,
I set flame to the lone match and touch the wick- a silent sway-
She burns, her hair still a fiery-ruby blend, but like all living expectation-
-The ash separates and with the wind…she performs flips-
The poem is supposed to look like a gorgeous nug of ****.
Remus Feb 2018
I was placed in a grave,
but I crawled out for you.

It wasn’t because you were
charming or handsome,
but how I felt as you spoke.

The flutter of my heart,
the laughter escaping me,
and I how I desperately wanted
to kiss you.

I reached out,
you were all I ever wanted,
but I reached too soon.

The ground crumbled around my feet,
and I was 6 feet under
my heart filled with despair.
lkm Jul 2014
their cries for help became like whispers
almost like the mere passing wind
it blew against the people's ears
their pain ignored, dismissed, unseen

she doesn't recall how she has let
the demons to come, at her, to laugh
at the raging storm inside her head
against the war her heart has stirred up

as cliche as it seems, she is his world
she intoxicates the chemicals he breathes
he couldn't let go of that one girl
her poison seeping to his soul within

like the falling of the autumn leaves
were the tears cascading down her cheeks
no sounds were made from her trembling lips
closing up like leaves dried and crisped

a rose is beautiful but its stem grows thorns
tightly he embraces her, the more he bleeds
the petals are wilting, dying, all forlon
his soul colors the same shade, dark and bleak

they walk alone in the pouring rain
the gloomy skies crying with them
they look like they're to be washed away
their world has crumbled to ashes again
kgl Oct 2015
the words used to flow like silk through my fingertips
i used to know exactly how to weave them
make them fall into tapestries, hang them from walls
emblazoned with unadulterated innocence.

it wasn't until you asked to look at my creations
that i realised sunlight could be so damaging
my words felt frivolous under your scathing gaze
and they stuttered, crumbled. my tapestries fell.

now they're dust and i'm on my knees, crawling
grasping fistfuls that seep through my hands
you can't write about something you can't feel
and now i can't feel anything.

this is the last poem i'll write about you.
Terry O'Leary Feb 2017
Awaking blithe each morning,
with eyes upon the World,
I wonder, are we mourning
with ebon flags unfurled –
or are they but a warning,
some draped like snakes and curled,
stray stars and stripes adorning,
sent from the netherworld.

I wander through the garden
with nothing on my mind
and say 'I beg your pardon'
alarmed at what I find
as winds begin to harden
and fate begins to grind.

Confused, I watch my neighbours,
they're wide-eyed, unafraid
to halt all useful labours
and join the death brigade;
the ritters rattle sabres,
the frail and fragile fade,
morticians tap on tabors,
the potentates parade.

The military blesses
(in tunics somewhat browned)
its crimson-stained successes,
hell bent and heaven bound.
Such scenes no more distress us:
a ****** battleground,
dissevered heads with tresses
and arms and legs abound;
the fourth estate suppresses
the heaps of bodies  found
(collateral excesses
discarded in a mound).

Society regresses,
now living by the sword,
with torture and its stresses
upon a waterboard;
a captive kid confesses,
his innocence ignored -
fallacious facts and guesses,
the guts of justice gored!

With canting vindication
a big brass bully brags
(with pearls of perspiration
and swollen tongue that gags)
of third world  subjugation
for gelt and oily swags,
of human rights' castration,
and on and on it drags.

The manifold migration
of refugees in rags
while searching for salvation
soon finds compassion lags;
uprooted populations
are fleeing from their flags
else dying of starvation
as naked hunger nags.

With trump cards politicking,
two little hands (all thumbs)
may send the Mad Dog siccing.
Insane! All sense succumbs.

Atomic timepiece ticking
until the Reaper comes
as Geiger counters clicking
drown out the droning drums.

Cast out for not conforming,
I wander day by day
to find the earth deforming
as nature wastes away,
with bees no longer swarming
(expunged with garden spray)
and ocean depths transforming
(neath plastic overlay).

With CO2 performing
the climate's led astray,
the atmosphere's been warming,
the grasses ashen gray,
eternal tempest storming
while permafrosts decay,
and ozone holes are forming
in deadly disarray.

The people profiteering
descend a slip'ry *****
destroying, never fearing        
of running out of rope;
instead they sit back sneering
“our wealth’s your only hope”.

Yes, Armageddon's nearing,
it's doubtful that we'll cope,
for Evolution's jeering,
she's scanned our horoscope:
we'll soon be disappearing
with whale and antelope.


           Epitaph

The multitudes were jumbled,
some milling ’round the mall,
while politicians bumbled
when bracing for the brawl.

The World around us rumbled,
our backs against the wall,
as bombs were tossed and tumbled
across our broken ball.

My kneecaps creaked and crumbled
but I, too proud to crawl,
took but a step and stumbled  
yet found no place to fall.

And no one heard me grumble
although I tried to call,
or maybe I just mumbled,
as strength began to pall.

Well now the World’s been humbled
I seek an urban sprawl,
but since the feuds were fumbled
there’s nothing left at all.
Megan Hundley Jul 2012
I began to notice the
Fade.
Blotched ink, frayed seams
yet those who can't see
can't care

It was most familiar to a weary box
Which spent weekdays and nights
Traveling
To warm faces and comfort Sundays

I struggled when the
torch of permanent portions was passed to
me. Each word felt unworthy and full of
stain
I always strived for
realism

I used to clutch the cloth
carefully folding and unfolding
fearing the sendoff, knowing the return
would become rare
If at all.
it was a pricked finger and
remembrance

It was right to hideaway
At the time
I crumbled under the stage lights
The audience was expecting
More
All I could provide was
Myself

And like a spoiled child
I still pout
Demanding fame under my demanded
Street Lamps

Faded
Donated

What is, is

But. I do remember. Even if you figure the pants don't fit
Nickols Oct 2012
Red is for the blood split.
Three drops; no more, no less.
Plucked upon a roses thorny edge.

Down

Drop

They

Drop

Tumbled.

Drop

­A stark contrast against the blanket of the whitest snow.
A wish was all it took,
For a spell had been woven through true loves magic.

The Queen belly, twas ripe with babe--
A princess-
skin white as snow,
lips red as glittering ruby's
and hair black as nights coal.

Her name:
Well Snow White, of course.
Or so the legend has told.

For what comes next is quite tragic.
For all magic comes with a toll;
An equivalent exchange:
a life, for a soul.

The babe was born on the morning rays, as for told.

With skin white as snow,
lips red as glittering ruby's
and hair black as nights coal--
For the Queen's last wish held true.

But for the King,
He grieved his sorrow for his lost beloved.
His happily ever-after crumbled throughout his kingdom-
like a wicked plague itself.

A Witching Queen rising in the true Queens place.
A evil stepmother-
for sweet innocent Snow White.

This vain diabolist, weaved her dark spell.
A magical looking glass-
appeared in front of her face.

"Magic mirror on my wall
Who is the fairest of them all"


The enchanted piece of glass
swirled and looped and then spoke.

"My Queen,
you are full of fair,
it is true,
but on this day
Snow White is fairer than you"


With a mighty jealous roar-
this Evil Queen called for her Huntsman.
To **** the one that might dare, to be fairer, then she--

Snow White's heart in a box
was the bounty!
because in the end the child needed to die.
For no one was fairer then the vainest of the Queens.

But you see:
The Huntsman of this Baneful Queen,
could not **** one such as sweet and fair as
the one know as:
Snow White.

A deer's heart,
is what is sent back in the Queens box;
But what became of dearest Snow White, you say?

Well: She went to live in the woods,
A small tiny cottage,
with seven little dwarfs.

What are their names, you ask?
Lets see:
There is--

Blick
&
then there is,
Flick
don't forget,
Glick
or then,
Plick,
wait a second.
Don't forget about,
Snick,
&
Whick,
and most important,
Quee.

And if you do not know them by these names,
what about:
*****,
Then Grumpy
Doc,
&
Happy
Sleepy and
Sneezy,
don't forget about,
Bashful.

They protected their fair Snow White,
from the Hideous Queen.
And for two year-
they kept her safe.

Until:
The Evil Queen conjured her magic,
and when the enchanted mirror gleamed back at her,
she queried--

"Magic mirror on my wall
Who is the fairest of them all"


The enchanted piece of glass
swirled and looped and then spoke once more.

"My Queen,
you are full of fair,
it is true,
but still too this day,
the young Queen,
is a thousand times fairer than you"


The Queen knew she had been tricked--
A wicked plan had been struck.
A old hag hid the Queens' face well.

Red is the color of ripened apple,
disguising the greenest of deadliest poison.
One bite: was all it took.
Snow White, asleep for all times.

But you see,
All magic comes with a toll.
And a true loves kiss, broke the spell.

This is a story about over coming the greatest of evil.
A reminder:
the light will always prevail.
© Victoria
“I dont know”
was my response
when you asked me if
I still love you

the world stopped
for the both of us
as I wondered on the thought
of me, being selfish
or being true
and yours upon the
realization that
maybe, just maybe
my love for you
is fleeting

neither of us was speaking
and the silence echoed
through the depths of my head
and you uttered
‘oh’

that moment, I knew
that you gave up
on me, and my inner
indecisiveness

I crumbled upon
the guilt of telling you
those words, so instead
I let my tongue do
the talking and said
'maybe'

cause it was never hard to say

but it is always hard to face

the reality of being responsible
to someone

as if I have to breathe
through somebody’s pair of lungs
and scratch the loneliness
with someone else’s fingers

we parted
I changed numbers

cause I had to stay afloat
on the clouds of solitude
free from attachments.
Akira Chinen Jun 2018
with nothing else
to fill their bellies
the mice went back
to eating poison
and the ants in search of crumbs
came back with nothing
but death on their backs
to feed their queens
and under the light of the stars
we crumbled

the murdering of crows
was made legal
as the color of the doves guilt
was decided to be more pure
than the blood of a dead mans heart

no matter the weight of his innocence

and all this could have been stopped
all this could have been avoided

none of this...

none of it...

had to happen

but we heard the screams of kindness
we heard its cry for help
we saw the hands of cruelty around its neck
we saw the hate foaming
we saw the dreams bleeding out

and we did

nothing

and misery breed
and filled the streets
and slept in our beds
and made its home
under our skin

and not even the light of the stars
was enough for us to remember
what it meant to be human
back before we abandoned joy
in the pursuit of the wealth of greed
Lillyana Sephar Jul 2014
Paper is like trust
Once torn never undone
A wall crumbled to dust
I say I trust you
Don't make me regret it
Because if you do
You won't forget it
Piyush Gahlot Oct 2018
it's  nine in the morning,
can't open my eyes,
don't wanna come out of the dreamy world,
I wanna be asleep,
I wanna be static,
if sleep is a drug,
I am an addict.

Most comforting is the morning sleep,
my eyes won't open,
I struggled to sit up,
but crumbled back again.
Have to be in the office,
the clock ticked
If sleep is a drug,
I am an addict.

let me lay in the bed,
don't feel like picking up my phone,
Whatsapp texts are unknown.
the sun is up, I don't wanna be.
take a leave or be awake and go,
my mind is in total conflict.
Yes sleep is my drug,
And I am an addict.
struggling to wake up this morning. Devoted to all the lazy people.
Louie Joe Aug 2018
Flowers blooming colors glow
Greet the morning sun hello
Scent of fragrant breeze refreshing
Gentle warmth was so inviting.

Normal people walking out
Busy streets and roundabout
Children playing hide and seek
Just nother day of the week

Silver wings of airplane high
Wonder as it cross the sky
A tiny object fall beneath
What could be this special gift?

With no second, a blinding light
The sun was humbled of its might
Then the houses, trees so tall
Crumbled down, began to fall

Burning figures, swirling blaze
Shadows gone without a trace
I lay helpless want to help
Deeply wounded found myself

Rivers flowing, ****** red
Cradle filled with sleeping dead
Cherry blossoms fell like tears
For motherland with all her fears

I still hear those horrid screams
The painful sight of broken dreams
This picture always kept inside
The fateful summer of '45
John R Dec 2013
After cocktails at Luigi's Bar, and then The Golden Bowl,
I proposed we play a gig of jazz-inspired rock and roll.
We all thought we'd make the fans cry out for encores every night.
But our schemes were dreams that faded in the morning's ruthless light.

My blue guitar should captivate the people every night.
But the dream crumbled, the dream tumbled.
My dream faded out of sight.

Playing keyboards was Patricia. (Never 'Trisha', never 'Pat'.)
She'd a taste for gracious living in her small art deco flat.
She would practice chord progressions, sipping lapsang souchong tea.
Then she played away at weekends with her special friend, Marie.

She trained her dainty fingers to explore new grooves each night.
But the dream crumbled, the dream tumbled.
Her dream faded out of sight.

We had Ritchie on electric bass, with tap-and-pull technique.
Such a clever devil — Ritchie almost taught the bass to speak.
Ralph the drummer's backbeat cymbal crashes measured out the bars.
We agreed the speed — then found we could not play like superstars.

Would the crowd be wowed by passion from my lovely blue guitar?
No, the dream crumbled, as the band stumbled.
Our dream faded overnight.

The Blue Guitar Quartet
was as close as we could get
to our vision for the music of today.
But we bumbled and we fumbled,
our aspirations humbled.
So we slowly put our instruments away.

"The Blue Guitar Quartet
is down, but not out yet.
With practice you will crack it," said Marie.
"Let Patricia be your singer;
she's a musical humdinger,
and as soulful as a solo girl can be".

"She can improvise a blues
based on any riff you choose.
Let's have handshakes and embraces —
this quartet is going places!
Here's to jazz-rock, and The Blue Guitar Quartet!"
Anne Faye Oct 2014
The musician cries
As he sings a sweet song
He feels the same way
As he has for so long
The feeling of love and
The feeling of worth
Has all been crumbled
And put in the dirt
After a show he gets peace of mind
Finding room to breath
But still not all are kind

That night they caused him to crack
Pushed him to the limit
And that was that
He wrote one last song
Recorded it there, played it outloud
In case someone cared
Noose made from the strings of a guitar
He walked off the staff
And stopped his metronome heart
Rapunzoll Mar 2016
She was nature, beautiful
But deadly, her cheeks as
Scornful as a rose, the smile hid
The thorns underneath.

Her presence though unseen,
Could be felt, like the sun's warm
Breath on bare winter skin.

She led him somewhere secret
As the night lures the stars,
As clouds gorge on the
Fragile light of the moon.

Over the crumbled bodies
Of leaves, into the alien
Land of tranquility.

When he woke, hands burning,
There was nothing left to see.
Only a faint feeling glistening
In the air, a failing heart and
A tongue full of dreams.
© copyright
Kevin Aug 2018
An empty boat glides through a tide-less sea
Echos of thunderous silence reminisces the rowdy sailors once on board
Without fear they sailed across the dark waters
Without the knowledge of forthcoming doom they kept the spirits high
Navigation impaired by the wrath of silence, their abominable gaiety and preposterous hopes were muted for eternity
Life drained, flesh rotted, bones crumbled to dust, and the boat was filled with peaceful death
Though without an inhabitant it still continues to drift towards a predesitned chaos
Its calm trail behind disrupted by an impatient tranquility
Its still path ahead disallows all animations with an unfluent time
Yet it moves forward
Wednesday Nov 2015
I knew a dangerous man.
You wouldn't know what he was.
But I could see the tight clench of broken fists.
The ****** tape carelessly wrapped around the
bleeding breaks in his hardened knuckles.
A murderers kiss is a rush.
It is a pool of water so hot it feels cold.
When was the last time you kissed someone
so passionately it caused your hair to stand on end?
It caused a chill down your spine- quick and ruthless.
I wasn't scared of dark eyes or dark mouths or dark hearts.
I wasn't scared of a bullet or a gun or an ******
that starts with a rope and a whip and
ends with bruises and my body pressing into broken drywall.
I smile at the danger in the threat.
Our intensity crumbled our surroundings.
We were the flash. The flame.
He was the thrill, I was the ******.
Have you ever wondered what hell was like?
People don't speak of the days they spend there.
They don't talk about the tortured memories that keep them awake.
A smoky afternoon and broken glass.
Cigarettes flung out the window with your decency.
Mangled innocence is okay as long as you
keep it contained enough to sweep out of the room after you're done.
Eyes like a black hole. Shaking desires.
And when he says beg, you close your eyes and feel the fire.
Have you ever loved a wild man?
Have you made him moan in the dead of night?
Have you ever been a pane of glass?
Have you ever had a brick thrown through you and been alright?
Have you ever known a bleeding devil and made his bed your home?
Have you licked his blood and tasted your doom?
pixels Mar 2013
she walked

foot on each crack in the sidewalk
the heel of her boot
sinking

and then her skin peels away
turpentine wiping away
the painting that is her mask

and she walked

she crumbled
her bones dust

come back
you've gone too far, little girl

the wind blows her away
the sun cremates her memory

and she is born again in the rain
sprouting from between
the cracks in the sidewalk

and she walked
and she was made of stones and vines, a beautiful horror
that none could ignore
that none could resist
sinking into the cracks in the sidewalk

and she walked
Chelsea Aug 2017
A forest-green & tan striped couch, littered with burn holes from forgotten cigarettes, serves as foreshadowing of what lies ahead for the forgotten flower lying upon it.

The flower curls up on this couch, as it's the best view to admire mom from across the room, as she magically transforms eyelashes into feathers with the swipe of a wand.

Ignorantly innocent, the flower patiently awaits her time to bloom, yearns for her petals to unfurl like mom's: flawless perfection.

But gradually, mom's smokey cat eyes become dark shadows of hollow sunken ships, and bright rosy skin fades to washed out colors of furniture bathed in harsh sunlight year after year.

Now, mom buried the bones of the delicate structure she built from inside her womb, and decades later her daughter's dismantled skeleton is scattered ruins of an abandoned sunken city, polluted by the rotten flesh of unwanted fruit; a weak foundation destined to be crumbled relics of an ancient past.

Never once did Mom leave flowers at the grave that she dug.

I imagine the sweetest sounds to a brand-new mother are the screams and wails of her newborn child, reassurance that it's vibrant life lights up the room as blindingly as the birth of a newborn star, a commanding presence louder than that star's explosive death.

On the contrary, I imagine the sweetest sound to MY mother was the silence when she muffled the screams. From underwater, you cannot hear screams for help, or much of anything at all. 

Her solace was the peace felt when muddy water filled her lungs, the darkness found from deep within a drug-induced sleep, where you cannot hear a child weep.

I mentioned the young girl always wanted to be like her mom. And so it was...all grown up when I tried ****** for the first time. I held true to mom every time the rush of warm blood filled the syringe, visual evidence that the blood was thicker than the bond mom and I shared.

Usually when a person's life is ruined by a parent's addiction they will stay an ocean's length away from drugs - but I am a curious cat, ignoring the fact that I do not have 9 lives, and so I welcomed this substance into my veins, into my brain.

The brown lady would wrap me up in her arms each night, then gently dip me in the familiar flame of a fire's flickering tongue. She became the only company that could never overstay its welcome.

And so, for a time I became my mother: "flawless perfection." I will admit that ****** is one hell of a drug, but -still- i cannot see! How could ****** steal my mother's love?
Omnis Atrum Aug 2012
not all who cry out are in pain
not all who are lost long to be saved again,
not all that are alone feel betrayed
but everyone feels afraid.
not all are afraid of a broken heart
not all are scared of misspeaking their part,
not all are petrified at the thought of dying
but everyone fears crying.
not everyone hides how they really feel
not everyone denies that all this is real,
not everyone covers the empty void
until their heart is destroyed.

to long lost to be called alone
but these tears now seem like home,
why in the world do i feel so forsaken
when i'm the reason my heart is breaking?
i am the one who remembers her so well
memories of happiness now feel like hell,
maybe because i know that i will never be again
closer to the one i love than 'just a friend',
even so happiness sometimes fills my veins
or maybe i just have a numbing of the pain.
i try to stay so strong that no one can see
that this hurt seems to be killing me,
so i rise up and wipe the tears from my eyes
and make it go away with a closet full of lies.
i tell myself that i hated your every kiss
and that you couldn't possibly be worth all of this,
and that i never missed you a day at all
and was never filled with bliss at the ring of a phone.
that the love that we felt could not have been true
and love's not the reason i can't think of anyone but you,
that this was the only way for all of this to unfurl
i tell myself that you are nothing but some confused girl.
some girl that feared a love greater than we could understand
only remembering my failure and faulty misdemands,
how many times we did what we knew was not right
but the desire seemed way too strong to fight.
even now i know i could not fix with a thousand rhymes
because no mortal can go back and do battle with time,
i can't quite explain to you how i really feel inside
only that i can't count how many times i've cried.
not out of self pity like so many believe
but because i know i'm the one that made you hate me,
so here are the tears that i've kept bottled up in my soul
and here's the imperfect person who can't feel whole.
here's all the apologies that i could possibly mutter
when i think back on what i did i can only shudder,
what kind of love did i think i knew
when again and again i found myself hurting you.
i'm not quite sure what it is that i want you to understand
my thoughts are scattered like the breeze-blown sand,
i know that i can't tell you exactly how i feel
because even still i don't know if feelings so strong are real.
i don't deserve a single passing moment of your time
because what i did i believe should be crime,
i corrupted the greatest love that I could ever know
and now that it's lost i have nothing to show.
only hollow echoes of 'i love you' s that made me whole
only an empty void where you existed in my soul,
only seas of teardrops to quench my unending thirst
but remembering your smile has got to be the worst.
Remembering your smile when you saw me draw near
remembering that when you were near me i felt no fear,
remembering you tell me that you felt it too
the love that we were so positive was true.
but as i have fallen away from who you remember
it seems to love you now could only hinder,
it only slowed you down from the wonder you became
i only hope after this your smile is the same.
hope when no one is around you that you feel no pain
that nothing but bliss flows through your veins,
that you find someone that deserves such a girl
the one i love more than any other in the world.

too overwhelmed to express exactly how i feel
but now i wonder if when you see me,
do you remember that what we had was real
or have you pushed it out of your memory?

is this longing and hoping just a joke
that everyone else knows the punch line to,
or have you heard a single word i've spoke
when i tell you that i can't not love you?

my eyes are all out of tears (my dear)
and i can't let you be my greatest fear (can't you hear?)
but i can't seem to make you go away (please don't stay)
so i'm stuck here again in my dismay (one more day)

i'm tired of feeling empty all the time
but you're the only one i can call my own,
so i sit here and write rhyme after rhyme
in hopes that one day i won't be so alone.

i'll take back every word i said, i swear
do you know you're still in my heart,
you're in my heart because i keep you there
because without you i'm torn apart.

my eyes are all out of tears (my dear)
and i can't let you be my greatest fear (can't you hear?)
but i can't seem to make you go away (please don't stay)
so i'm stuck here again in my dismay (one more day)

but i feel that tomorrow might change everything
maybe when i wake up you'll be here by my side,
and the world will stop so choirs of angels can sing
about a love so strong that it will never die.

About a love so purified by loss and tears
that i can't get rid of it no matter how hard i try,
so yet again you're the source of all my fears
and my tears flow freely as i cry.

an uncontainable ethereal essence dampens my soul
a lacking love that disappeared into the darkest hole,
though life's blood was flowing through my heart was cold
because of a story that has been too often told.
the realization of unattainable hopes tore me to shreds
how hard did i fight to free those feelings from my head,
to awaken visions of ecstasy instead of passing life
but it took time to realize i caused all my strife.
the gap extended, cutting off me from me
until i realized i'm not the person that i see,
determination extinguished an impure love from within
denial allowed me to forget all my sin.
though now as dark and as distant as i may be
i cannot force myself to carry a single memory,
but my footsteps slow because i no longer run away
now void of the hope of "someday, someday".
passion all spent they'd have us repent our consent
but only in error could they misconstrue my intent,
once again i clear my head until i feel relieved
but i now believe that bliss, not pain, is conceived.

holding in all that i know i should exhale
these situations make me feel so frail,
losing touch with reality once again
finding myself where i've never been.
frustrations almost make me give up
just want to say "enough is enough",
show you everything that i hold back
so that you can see how much you lack.
wish i could cease this painful game
leave it all as it was before i came,
but the impact you've left i can't deny
but i don't know how to say goodbye.
nor do i want to as you can tell
as much as i love this it hurts like hell,
if you could only see all that i hide
and all that will always be hidden inside

as i'm lying here wondering what i did with all the time that passed by
still staring at the empty pillow beside me but the pain is gone,
i just wish that for one last time i could look you in the eye
and apologize for all the times I did everything wrong.
as i'm lying here in realization that the chains no longer hold my wrists
and the freedom like the wind pushes me out into the world,
i thought in err for so long that you were the reason for me to exist
but now visions of you are replaced by the great wings that have unfurled.
so smile every second knowing you have the angel you deserve
knowing that you are safe with him the horizon will swallow me whole,
the only favor i would ask of you is to love him without reserve
and if you love then love with heart, mind, body, and soul.

it now seems that i have lost something in the overpowering dark
some small bit of myself that once gave my soul its spark,
that which still lingers is the fear that i will never find what i have lost
it seems that whatever price that there is to pay i cannot afford the cost.
and so i sit and pray hour after hour in yet another sleepless night
thought i expend all energy and force of will i cannot win this fight,
the doubt that i had once conquered has returned to reclaim
and it seems after all the progress that was made it is still just the same.
just as i feel as if the world has taken what i hold dearest to me
in an instant i feel relief and wonder what has caused this to be,
and then through the darkness i see the shadows slowly part
for even the darkness cannot stand between hope and my heart.
and as i stand numb in wonder what caused all of this to end
i realize that this hope is contained within my truest friend,
her smile brings back to me so many of the memories of old
and though my body is freezing, my heart is no longer cold.

it is surprising how quickly the sweetness of love turns bitter when you cast it aside. how fast smiles turn to blank stares with no emotion whatsoever. how fast a person full of nothing but hopes and dreams can be made jaded and cynical.

i look upon you and see only eyes that emanate cold
the eyes that chill me to my soul and leave me weak,
there is only a void that occupies the space of the soul you've sold
and from my lips are stripped the words that i would speak.

with the last breath that i could manage to sigh
i let go of everything that i had tried to deny,
because you could never be worth all of this
so the memories of you i quickly dismissed.

The memories left that still exist
Make me wonder just what I’ve missed,
In wasted time remembering your smile
But to see it once more would make it all worth while.
So many feelings I’m still forbidden to feel
Forsaken to the point that I wonder if they’re real,
But all wonder collapses if I look into your eyes
And I can no longer hold in my muffled cries.
Yet you do not care, so distant and cold
What was it that warped and burnt your heart of gold,
You never deny that all I say is right
But you fight your feelings with all your might.
So I now refuse to fight this anymore
Even though I see it’s wrong in my heart’s core to fight this anymore
Even though I see it’s wrong in my heart’s core,
The foundation crumbled, leaving rubble at best
And I leave your life with this one last request.
If you ever think back to feelings we once knew
Just know, although not perfect, the love we felt was true,
And though we may never feel the same thing again
If you ever need me, I’ll be here, as a friend.

For all the love that I once held
Within my gentle grasp,
I’d let go of everything else
To feel that love again at last.
For all the hope that I once knew
When I saw it in your eyes,
I knew it would never return
when you couldn’t hold back your cries.
For all the hours that I’ve lost
Wishing that you were here
Only to see your beautiful face
And forever hold you near.
For all the times that I’ve been forced
To lose you once again,
The pieces of my heart are on the floor
And won’t fit together or mend.
For all these things that I’ve said
I’ll never rethink those thoughts,
There’s just too much pain within your arms
This lesson I’ve now been taught.

A love that you don’t feel
Within your bitter heart,
All the time I’ve wasted
Just to get back to the start.
Before I knew your beauty
Though endless as it seems,
I only see you smiling
As a figment in my dreams.
Before I felt abandoned
Lost in the deep, dark abyss
Before I even longed for your touch
And to feel your gentle kiss.
Before I knew just how it felt
To feel nothing at all,
But with that numbness I know
That you initiated my fall.

How many nights will I stand outside your window
Constantly hurling rocks and stones,
And how many times will they disappear
Destroying my hope and leaving me alone.
How many tears will run down my cheeks
Creating another salty sea,
Only for the waves to rise up
Until I feel like they’re drowning me.

In the darkness of the night
come the tears that i can't fight,
but the glare of morning sun
reveals another battle won.
I can't overcome the love i've lost
or that our paths have uncrossed,
I hope that the emptiness that i feel
is only a figment, and not for real.
I get lost in the memories made
if only so that they will never fade,
and as i reach out my hand to her
she disappears, the illusion blurs.
But she was there for a moment in time
I can still see her as i write this rhyme,
and i know that everything will be fine
because in my heart, she is still mine.


don't think about the pain you feel inside
stray from shallownes and foolish pride
and as your tears swell up so blue
forget the things that anguish you

please don't leave my side again
even if we're only friends
you left an emptiness in my heart
that wasn't there at the start
the loss of you i cannot bear
you act like you still don't care
maybe this is hopeless yet
thoughts of you i can't forget
how does it feel to not feel at all
these thoughts through my mind crawl
i'm not able to forget you yet
i blame these feelings i always get
do you ever lie awake
and let your feelings overtake
the thought process in your mind
no you're too gentle, far too kind
please don't leave my side again
even if we're only friends,
you left an emptiness in my heart
that wasn't there at the start

yet again my timing is off
i'm denying the fact that all is lost
where must i begin, what must i do
to make everything better with you
please take the time to take away
all that i lose in the words that i say
if you could only hear what i feel inside
you would understand what i've slowly realized
i'd break my heart before i hurt your own
but maybe i'm better just being alone
these feelings i feel, i know they won't last
and i'll think of nothing else until they have passed
they consume every thought i create
and to my heart my mind relates
all these facts i wish were untrue
a thousand apologies to make amends with you
why should i be the one to apologize
my words rang sweetly throughout my mind
but now even words cannot take away
all i have lost that cannot be regained

entrapped in my head are all these thoughts
of promises you made way back then
the tears that swell my pain has bought
only to believe your promises once again
your sparkling eyes that made me believe
every single world that left your lips
i never thought that you would deceive
but my hope covered my heart like an eclipse
you made me feel that you loved me too
you made me think i was understood
but when i found your words rang untrue
it revealed the bad beyond the mask of good
just like a single red rose smells so pure
until the blood from your finger spills
all my problems only you could have cured
until all my thoughts of love you killed
just like the winter nights feel so cold
until you find someone to hold close to
you left those caring words untold
and my heart was turned cold under the moon
entrapped in my head are all these thoughts
of promises you made way back then
the tears that swell my pain has bought
only to believe your promises once again.

I think there is something on your mind
some memories that you've left behind
you think i feel feelings that i can't face
which gives me the need to leave this place
you succomb to the knowledge that you hear
with simple sources as sound as the air
you run from the reason from which sadness falls
and in the end there's nothing left at all

Another small tear cascades down my cheek
i'm all alone with all these people surrounding me
the sadness grows and the waters start to rise
i'm the only one sinking in my sadness, i'm surprised
the waters rise as i slowly start to fall
i doubt that anyone even notices at all
the sorrows you have given me have brought my demise
if you could've only seen the hopelessness you put in my eyes
it's all over now and all is lost
the struggle for happiness was worth more than it cost
another small tear cascades down my cheek
and i'm lost in all the pain you have given me

all alone before we met
but those are times you'd like to forget
and as he drifted away
you were alone by day
you always felt that he cared
but still felt trapped and ensnared
and nothing you could do
could bring him closer to you
he thought he left you behind
but that was all in his mind
there is nothing left that he can do
to bring him up to level with you
he thought it was all a game
trying to win fortune or fame
but somewhere along the line
he pushed your heart aside
brushed all of your tears aside
so he could have his foolish pride
but you always knew in the end
that it would just happen again
no emotions he feels
like this whole world is surreal
and as he drifted away
you were alone by day

so lost inside these thoughts you've given to me
of hope and all these feelings i can't believe
it would have been best to say nothing at all
because
Sanjukta Nag Dec 2016
Our bodies are facing
The arms of dawn.
Conflicts of our skins
From night's reverie
Floating with fading purple.
Still lost in the depth of
Your starry mouth,
Particles of me
Merging into the universe.
Mingled thoughts
Under mingled fingers
Making galaxies crumbled
Time after time
Inside my closed eyes,
As I'm being washed by your
Warm luminosity.
I'm overwhelmed as Merged got selected as a daily poem. It means a lot to me. I'm grateful to all the poet-readers of HP. I wouldn't be able to achieve it without their support. Thanks a lot ❤
jeffrey robin Apr 2013
White paper

Ripped from the typewriter
Crumbled up
tossed into the corner of the alley
over by the dumpster
The crumbled up boy
Lies there

Ripped from the typewriter
---
I wrote a story
About a boy

I

.

was a boy

The crippled old man
Was----/////?

--
--
--

And so we talk!
We talk so of the taboo-ed times

The taboo-ed stories we have woven out of pain

Stories written-----
-----
a low scream fills the places we have been

The crumbled up pieces of the story

Crumbled up
Behind the dumpster
There
Ken Pepiton Oct 2018
Axt would I, I sed yah soyam

Signing a song played in the white noise that surrounds me

nights like these past 7043,

Who chounted en chant em, enchantemgood

So no we are at what is a befinning place.
beginning (90's too ****, U2 too Northern Euro,
Green Day, Coolio,
Noise to a message dying to be heard
welcome to another
imaginary garden in an ever expanding mind

field of unthinkable things,
back then

we have whiteout but it doesn't work here

My culture had near simultaneous eruptions of supermarkets

and Fords.

This guy, his culture had near simultaneus disruptions of progress and
interruptions of information
some os were lost in the middle synchrony
instance if I cationic plus or minus
simaltan

Oh, I get it. You, dear reader, have been
out of it.
We went public with the entire plan for public
key distribution,
through six palanced stacks of energy stores

Chakra, chi, science make ya think eh. Polarize, see

everything groovy --no
[contemprayery idle intense ify AI keep us current]

lie, good, no lie is always safe. Don't wanna stumble any souls.

I was mentioned, my being a speaker in a story, I was said
to have said something, upon a time,
on the cover of the Rolling Stone,

I witnessed a lie being told and said my ears weren't garbage cans,
like a brainwashed cult

no, **** I was a cultivated follower of a confessed
follower cultivator.

I bloom when I imagine being treated as a mushroom,
I never paid much attention,
I never felt
insane
but
I can imagine
wee whatifs crept in… aha

The Olde Deluder, Satan, Act

that, a tiny gleam, a single ATP gone ADP

but there was light. A story I lived is now being told
without me,
oy vey Jah knowaddamean.

There was a wiseman, who,
by his wis-dom saved a city, and no one knew
that same wiseman's name,

proverbs are intentional games, the rules,
hiding a thing, done by God, glory ifies him
seeking out a matter, done by a being translated king,
transmutes that seeking into honor

Honor is hard to compare to the war flavored twists,
knots and tangles where woof and warp held

long long long before war was imagined, honor was.

A medal of honor for valor, what does it mean?

Leonard Wood got one. For his part in solving
the Apache problem.
He also,

Flash I had my wires crossed, in a way, it may
enlighten.
You see, I had thought that I had read Leonard Wood,
be cause I had imagined he was in New Jersey, but that
was Lord Amherst, Jeff

He tweerted ( wrote in a letter on paper we've a fact simile):
"to try Every other method that can serve to Extirpate this Execrable Race."

From <https://www.umass.edu/legal/derrico/amherst/lord_jeff.html>

Could be the source of the whole shores of triple ease retirement lure/trap/moneymoneymoney makeit fakit

I asked once, who's to blame and whose to blame,
samesame came an answer, I sware, quick as

next, twixt being and being possible,

realize

we do change things, in time, which,

if we can agree, is limited for us,
to now, no thens behind

mere, mere, mere ifs and whens ahead

be

--so there's been music all along
life's the song

skip a decade, like skippin' a grade

grad Harvard at a prepubescent 12

If I had a Hammer time, one message

one valiant try to be will smith,

Live and Learn, old man, say the dude on the radio
in he's hammaheadphones, cain't touch

Bomb. Jesus lent me Jael's hammer,
radioman nailed it.

If I had a hammer was the prayer,

MC, he was the Godsmacked nail in the coffin

Dark inside gothish messages hurgle and gurgle
guts twisted in freak pride love hate list lust

dichotomies of choice in ever learning
good citizenship worth honor and glory

of the sort men dare to die for, facing darkness,
the NULL set ***** and ***** and *****

This ain't gravity tuggin me,
this is that monster who lives forever in top forty radio

When/then Radioman emerges, Like the Mighty Quinn from

deep beneath Gibson's darkest ever imagined ICE wall…

What's on? (ellipses, do those mean POV shift or selah?)

I forget, s still all alchemistry t'me, if allyagots ahammass,

realize, if it matters, t'me, bubble bustin' need no nail.

I gotti'd a hamma, gonna hamma in the moan

O.G., mighty man of valor, where'dyew arise from?

We, the integrated us, non autonomous, inarrogant
We were dancin' to that I'm a Loser, Baby

so why don't cha killme, knowwad i'msayin

This old man been wandern in the desert far far far
side the madding crowd
making minced
meet
broken spirit. we goin together to a re-pair place

at the center of you'n'all you know, yo bubble but

--- everlearning everclear outlawed, good lawed
--- moon shine spiritment lauded out loud
--- the world all ways works when a garden is

beyond the pale,
Irish
rye whiskey, wheat bread liqui
if I were an
old gay ninties guy drinking ***** laudnum
singin'

on the corner with the hourus girl's c

Making the Con Next Ion, watchathank,
is it The Nineties A to Z , ending wit, it’s a hard
knawks life, or

a Bohr-TED talk or
a video of Schrödinger's  
verdamte dead cat?

Or am I surrounded by so great acloud of witnesses that some times I spend

simply hummin' along, life's beat me to the ground,

which gladly,
I'm so glad, I'm glad, I'm glad which

loses its meaning if you never experienced such a fall
ending in absorption of it all.
Ginger Baker, slam that cymbal, CRASH1

Life, in every key, there's a clue. Some where,
there's a lock on a true thing we need

to, eventually, know all things.

Keywords lost givitawaygivitawaygit it back tenfo'

Black spirit-filled tongue talkin' grandpa friend of
Johnny Walker, Red not Black,

He challenged me ye see. I recall what was on TV.
Nixon sayin' he,
honest he,
anti-****** he,
bombin invadin he was Notacrook, the super hero
he imagined

Bio is building energy, all the time does is
test the effort.

Is life lived this way worth the effort?
if/then/else

Who chose, integrated me, all the masks and voices I have accepted as ideas that can have apiece of me.

BTW, kids, even if an angel of light asks you to take a little piece of my heart, don't

yer killin me and I know where the next story started,

you are lost without me, fretnot, I'm the way

I heard that, that's no claim I mist'tok as my response.

Deeper, are we absobbing any thing, deeper tincture
of time, t'me see

POV
SameYesTodayForever (SYTF) protocols have been in place, as far as we know,

since words made sense naturally, eons ago, at least.

If you want my future then forget my past
musing medium messages sayin

what the hell? A game, you sayin' life's a game?

Ja, was oder vice nicks versus universal soldier godlet

Jump when I jump, remember… don't cry

I woulda danced with wolves to have changed
one mind that followed me

beyond that point,
no return, is such a mortal POV, you see
as far as you cansee

Deep. the gem. all the meaning ever was was
in that gem.

Dare me for no reason? Is that reasonable,
ration my tears to test my mettle

I went mad in 1995, have I made that plain?
Things crumbled around me for ten years,

I was helped by hoping I knew a truth about those
manifested imaginary gems
given kings and potentates
said to possess great powers and the meaning og every mystery unknown to man

eh, say again
gems
given kings and potentates
said to possess great powers and the meaning OhGEE every mystery unknown to man

lies lies lies they all were lies lies lies lies

I told you so, and it is still sweet to say
you know

You heard it all before, greatest test story ever told.
That was no test.
this is.

Jump when I jump, remember… don't cry

Epic stories deserve more than mere words,
but, you know, click,

words are what we make things from.

Tell me your stories,
she woulda seemed to whisper, woulda drained me drownd me
in just if I'd love linked

to the money machine of your dreams

had I not rode the grey dog outa Nashville,
back in '82,

I'da missed seein' flyover country that feels like mine,
when I take this POV.
I wandered into a sattelite radio 90's A-Z, kinda like those histories of philosophies old people listen to when they're ******. Oh, the moonshine experiment worked, FYI
grace snoddy Apr 2018
life planted an empty hole
in my chest
and hoped for something
to grow out of it

it stuffed my mind with
crumbled paper
and gave my thoughts
a pen
Pea Jul 2014
Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes
Unseen groping
Peeling skin

The gold walls
Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes
Crumbled skull

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. They can love you till you bleed. Just wait for it. You call them nightmares, horrible dreams, but you are their sweet one.

You are their bedtime story. Every single night. The same story being told over and over again. The exact same words. The exact same you. Keep being repeated. On their starry eyes at day. On their twinkling lips at night. On their meals and toilets.

You are their sweet dreams. That's why tooth fairy hates you.

Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes
Unseen groping
Peeling skin

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. You wake up yet they come again. They have always wanted to love you till you bleed.

The gold walls
Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes
Crumbled skull

When you were six. They were the evil mothers crawling under the sofas. They made the air shift, softly whispered to your feet. They were the ones who made the screams.

Your loud breath
Cold hands
White eyes

When you were eleven. They were the gigantic spiders appeared from the toilet hole. They were the ones who ate your dad but didn't swallow that curly black hair of his.

Unseen groping
Peeling skin
The gold walls

When you were seventeen. They were the train wreck. They made your dad has to stop the car. It was too dangerous to move. Another crash was coming. And they were the ones who made your dad step on the wrong pedal.

Booming ticks
Volcano heart
Unnamed quakes

It is the song of the lost children. At night they come to your sleep. At day they are the invisible shackles around your ankles.

Crumbled skull
Crumbled skull
Your loud breath

Oh, I am sorry. It seems that the song doesn't really have an

Cold hands
White eyes
White eyes*

end ----
Maddie Mar 2016
Depression is hard to understand. The dictionary naively refers to it as, "feelings of severe despondency and dejection." But what does the dictionary know about depression? I think depression is more complicated than that. But I don't quite know what that consists of. I've been trying to figure it out for months now, and I just can't seem to understand. I don't know what depression is, but I can tell you what it's not.

Depression is not polite. Depression doesn't knock before he barges in. He just lets himself in, unannounced and unexpected, and leaves me gasping for what little air is left in the room.
Depression isn't clean. He doesn't tidy up after he makes a mess. He comes into my life like a hurricane, and leaves me to pick up the crumbled pieces of my rubbled life.
Depression isn't moral. He steals my happiness and kills my spirit. He doesn't abide by any common rules or laws, he makes his own rules and I have to play by them.
Depression isn't popular. The only "friends" he has are his victims. He drags me away from everyone who used to love me, and leaves me isolated in a cold, dark place.
Depression isn't respectful. He claws his way into the lives of so many genuine people and drives them to the brink of insanity. He has no regard for my thoughts or my feelings, stomping all over me until there's nothing decent left to salvage.
Depression isn't creative. He tells you everything as it is and makes you see all of the terrible things poisoning the world. He doesn't sugarcoat the truth, no matter how much it hurts, and he helped me clearly see even my smallest of flaws.
Depression isn't nice. He calls me ugly and tells me I'm worthless. The words he whispers ring in my ears: "**** yourself, **** yourself, **** yourself."

It's hard to define depression. It doesn't fit into a small box. I've practically driven myself crazy trying to figure out what it is and why this is happening to me. I don't understand depression, and no matter how hard I try to define it, I always fall short. I don't know if depression can ever be defined. While I try aimlessly to define the undefinable, depression ruthlessly takes advantage of me. I can try as much as I'd like, but I don't define depression, depression defines me.
Natalie Jan 2018
Growing up, I was taught the story of two men
One built his house upon the rocks and one upon the sand
And I learned the difference between humility and pride
I was taught to differentiate the foolish from the wise
Because when God sent the rainfall and the waters began to rise,
The house on sand crumbled right in front of thoughtless eyes
And my father would tell me, "Darling, don't build your foundation in the weak, in something that might die"
But I've been constructing my home on gravel my entire life

If there is a God
Why did he let me build my house upon the sand?
Why did he lay down every brick and let the nails tear through my hands?
I am an urchin in the dirt leaving claw marks in the earth
And my cries fall from my mouth and cling to my tattered shirt
If there is a God
Then why would he call himself a Father to me?
Why would he want to break my heart and crush my dignity?
He prides himself on the ringing in my ears
and his mason jars of tears
Instead of being my faith, why would God want to be my greatest fear?
If heaven is where he is,
then hell is anywhere but here

If there is a God
And he's my Father
And he is so divine
Then why did I grow up so sick and sad and tired all the time?
Why would he instill doubts from Satan himself for everyone to see;
"You're inadequate
Inadequate
That's all you'll ever be"
My mistakes render me useless,
At least, that's what Father says of me

And if there is a God,
And he's my father
How could he walk away as if nothing ever happened, although I have seen it all before
Because what happens in this House of Heaven stays behind closed doors
He would enter his bedroom, and leave the door open just a crack
So when he would read his Bible and show us how a true Christian should act
I'd turn to my little brother and say "I wish one day we'd be holy like that".

The mortar in my walls are breaking and the water is rushing in
I wish so badly to repair it, but I've always been like this
The dirt I fell in twenty years ago is matted to my skin
The cuts on my soul since childhood are all I've ever been
I'm sorry Father, for I have sinned
And I have nothing good to show
And I don't mean to point the blame, Father, but sin is all I've ever known

If there is a God, would he let me stand before his throne?
Would he take me into his arms and treat me as his own?
Would he wash my ***** shirt and let me stand where the saints have stood?
Would he help me build a house upon the rocks
Like a father should?

I wonder if I can build it well enough to reach him
Because my current house can't as long as its this way
If there is a God
I wonder what he'd say
about me

I am the prodigal daughter you never learned about in stories

— The End —