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Lizzy Nov 2016
I don't want to be this way,
Scared and on edge,
With my heart
And my mind
Locked far away.

But what can I do?
I'm battling with
Logic and love
All while trying not to bleed
In front of you.

I'm sorry
That I'm not brave enough,
I'm not strong enough,
To leave behind
My defense mechanisms.

But if you just stay,
Maybe soon I'll stop
Being so afraid
Of what I have to say.  

If you keep holding me,
Maybe the chains
That bind me
To this weight of fear
Will dissolve slowly.

If you keep loving me,
I'll rip my heart out
And let you keep it.
Sorry if that's too gory.

Please keep loving me,
Because I can feel
The darkness
Beginning to recede.
I can feel myself
Opening to the love
I've been dying to receive.
Stxlle Mar 10
Let me be someone
to her, to him, to me
Let me mean something
to someone, to anyone

Take me somewhere
where I can find myself
I've lost who I am
without really knowing who that was

Probably because I left

I walked away from everything
I walked away from the people who hurt me
I was afraid they'd see me
so I built a wall

A wall even I couldn't break
Now, I no longer know the person behind it

The wall made me forgetful and cold
I've been to places I don't remember
I've created memories I won't cherish
I've looked in the mirror and saw someone else
I've hid so much that I've forgotten who I was. I've changed myself so much just to please and fit in with people that now, I'm really lost. I'm still asking myself what I need to do to change that
Susanna Arambula Jul 2018
I guess this is what a real life existential crisis feels like.
What I know now I did not know before.
Small bits of thought swirl through my head,
A tornado of broken glass.
And now that the wind has settled,
I struggle to fit the pieces together
In a way that would resemble a window
Through which I might view myself.
ima special snowflake
Andronicus VI Apr 25
S EXistence
S EXploitation
S EXplain
S EXit
even the bedsheets have lost
the smell of cotton

I roll toward my anchor
hiding it as best as I can from him

a pea-sized something is thumping
on ears door

if it weren't so hard to get to,
I would smash it btween my thumbs
and see what comes


Sara Fielder © Oct 2018
I'm brOKen Jan 14
Crashing,
Spiralling around.

You kept me safe,
I’ve lost my sound

Our worlds collide,
My existence becomes a lie

Inhale and exhale one last time,
You never know which one will be your last breath
(But mine never seem to have reached,
Yet).
Existential crisis poem for breakfast, anyone?
Josephine R Aug 2018
It pierced through her.
An invisible sword
Straight into her chest,
Through her heart,
And out between her shoulder blades.
A yearning.
An anxious awakening.
And all she heard from her thoughts were
"To live! To live!
I want to live!"
thomezzz May 2018
I've just started living and I can already feel the lenses start to break
Sense the veneer crack against this solid slate memory
See the creases and folds of this bittersweet opus, *disaster
A picture-perfect desecration, an arduous whiplash

I may not be old but I can feel the age set into my bones
Sense the muscles and their atrophy, *apathy
See the wrinkles and puckers balloon from my skin
A dotted landscape, a jagged puzzle piece

I may not be bored but I can feel the bugs under my skin
Sense the wild, unfiltered urge of a sleeping giant, *mouse
See the time and seconds flicker by without a second look
A bullet train to nowhere, a jet plane doomed to fail

I may not be sad but I can feel the weight of everything
Sense the cool blue water filling up the tank
See everyone outside the glass smiling, *laughing
An antelope in the lion's mouth, a snuffed out candle

But the days go by so fast
In the vast chaos of life
And in the spiraling, sprawling expanse of time
I've somehow lost you, *me
He was the ocean; handsome, but yet, Impulsively damaged. He had a sandy heart to correspond his sandy eyes, the moon dismantled that omitted pride he carried at a dead weight; shoveling and reshaping it, so people would see a sandcastle statue assembled in strength. But his washed-up soul and unannounced insecurities were aware of its genuine purpose,
this beach alongside his pupils;
quicksand, he'll sink so slowly in.  Waves in his hair like ripples on his cheeks, skipping stones land at his defeat, he left notes in bottles for you, sank multiple ships for you, because he hasn't the heart to say he's desiccating with the arrival of the stars.. Retracting scars are not too far from gasps for air,  foaming words of crisis by writing in the sand, signaling a light as the last one in him died. You wouldn't understand, the calm before the storm, as valve after valve puncture him. So intoxicating as it drains him, and from within, he's drying out. Sunburns stain him, a smile restrains him,
in an inescapable drought--
All feedback is welcome
So this was posted here a couple weeks ago and, when I went to revise it, it was drafted and came out as new, I guess? :)
Stu Nov 2018
Symbolism set before my eyes was never captured well
Every mitch-match color-washed mistake was one that went unnoticed
Before me now, I have to choose,
Do I stick with the ultra misunderstanding,
Or do I learn to accept the way of the world?
Do I fight for what has been living inside,
Or let fate show things good and new?
These days,
I'm reteaching myself how to form memorable bonds
It beats sitting alone,
Reliving the old ones
Returning to past lives and past states,
When It's tearing out the senses,
And replacing them with tales,
Some of which aren't even my own,
Some of which never happened,
And will never occur
I page my photo album to keep my memories alive
I listen to my favorite songs
Yet I couldn't survive my memories
I go places in which I had memories
Again I couldn't survive them all
I meet my friends whom I loved them much
Then I couldn't keep them alive
All I want is my feelings that have stored & shared
All I miss is my identity
This poem is for people whom they feel confused at times and trying to hunt their best version
Aleph Mar 23
Please ignore my foolish pride
I would chose not to hide
How I hate to wear this mask
If only I wasn’t so afraid to ask
I would chose not to trick
And present you my true speak

How I wish to show my true nature
How I hope to show my raw soul
And to you display the real creature
All my substance as a whole

I desire to be me more bluntly,
To be me in every event
Without concessions without being frightened
I aspire to be honest with me and you
I desire to be seem by another
Beyond this distorted mirror image
Projected to hide myself.

But instead of this
In my cowardice
I wear this glittering mask for you
And a myriad  more for others
Always replacing the previous by the latest
Discarding the empty disguise


Aspiring to be the object of desire for you and to the rest
Enchanting you and them with my dazzling superficial illusion  
With my mundane and trivial artifice,
Full of shinning nothingness


Don’t be fooled by my  art
All my endurance is contrived
Don’t be misled by my composed carapace
Behind my foam facade
Lies  a turbulent stream of violence
Can’t you distinguish?
Squeezed by the compressing margins  
In my core there lays hurt and anguish

I plead with you to see me beyond my illusion
There are some many disguises inside the confusion.
And you will not distinguish  my true me
I crave to be ultimately free

How I yearn to pull this mask,
And peel away my fake camouflaged skin
And show everybody my emotional scars my imperfections
All this fear of rejection

When every neighbouring glass ceiling  starts to fall
I want to be on the outside
Naked, nothing to hide
Shameless to show it to all  


Without consequence assuming who I’m
In plenitude in a unyielding way
But I can’t count on me for this, my will is frail
Nonetheless you my friend must prevail

And so incapable of performing this worthy task,
I relay on you
To rip away my mask
Allowing  to see me trough

Accept me with my flaws
I will gratefully receive yours
Tear my mask with your claws
Heal my soul were it sours

Freed me of my emptiness
See me for who I’m
Fill me with wholeness
Trough away this hologram
looking to define myself
Bob B Oct 2018
All is NOT well in the grasslands.
The animals are fit to be tied.
The actions of the crafty wolves
Have left the rest of them horrified.

"How will we EVER be able
To keep democracy afloat,"
The antelope asked, "if the wolves
Don't allow us all to vote?

"In many sections of these grasslands,
Shameless wolves are doing their best
To hold voter registration
Hostage, keeping voters suppressed."

"They aim to control voter turnout,"
The deer added. "That's their hope.
Their sneaky ways to manipulate
Elections push the envelope!

“They stall and seek petty reasons
To take names off voting lists.
Fair and honest elections are
In jeopardy if this persists.”

"It's so close to election day,
Our courts are reluctant to raise objections,"
The buffalo said. "Some of the wolves
Are even running in the elections!

"Humph! They stole a Supreme Court justice.
Then they rammed another one through.
Now they're still suppressing voters.
What more damage will they do?"

"Winnowing down voter rolls!
Their strategies should be illegal!"
The fox chimed in. Looking around,
He asked, "Where is our dear friend Eagle?"

The absent eagle wanted no
Responsibility tied to her name.
She couldn't stop the out-of-control
Wolves, and hid her head in shame.

-by Bob B (10-19-18)
Daan Vandelay Feb 15
A mild case of impostor syndrome,
a severe symptom in the form of
confabulations without instigations,

are the base of our disease.
Who we are, is glued to our
actions, due to devour
what our soup tasted like before it all went sour.

This is nonsense, this is weak,
this is no writing of which people speak.
Is it even right in use to say the things, written.
Stop longing for the time of long before,

when we were all still rid
of conscious thought and feeling,

back when we were reeling in and out, casually,
of our devout inadequacy.
When do we deserve a title and when are we what we’re called?
Bob B Nov 2018
A year ago at the North Pole
Santa STILL had a sign
That read "For Sale," posted on
His slushy, sludgy property line.

We stopped by to pay a visit
And found Santa out of sorts.
He asked if we perchance had read
Recent global warming reports.

"Things are looking worse than ever,"
He said, on the verge of crying.
"The ice caps continue to melt,
And the world's coral reefs are dying.

"We'll be seeing flooding coastlines,
Food shortages, wildfires….
And some even have the nerve
To call the prognosticators liars!

"People ask if it's too late.
I tell them that it depends
We can stop the warming, BUT
We MUST reverse emissions trends.

"If the earth's temperature rises
Two point seven degrees, they write,
Above pre-industrial levels--
That's degrees in Fahrenheit--

"We'll face dire consequences:
Mass extinctions of animals and plants,
Wobbly countries, refugees….
These are NOT just foolish rants!

"The world economy must be transformed.
Come on! You have to use your head!
Renewable sources of energy
Are vital; otherwise, we're dead."

How sad it was to see a man
Who once had been so cheerful and jolly
Now become so sad and so
Demoralized by human folly!

He showed us his dilapidated
House, and then with a sigh,
He said, "I've got work to do,"
At which point we all said good-bye.

-by Bob B (11-24-18)
A branch of the tree,
split of the yoke.

Bee of the mouth,
heart thus bespoke.

New year crisis of men,
fire works, fire, smoke.

I have heard The Calling,
-anguish of The Woman.

Tree
Branch
Bee
Christianity
Islam
Bee

"If You engage War and the spirit of the Lord is with you; then the wind of his spirit shall blow open the mouth of the Dragon bringing victory in order."
In ancient language the, 'Bee,' represents god's word or the divine message of the Lord. 'Branch,' is the descent of man from the garden or tree of life.
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