"conscienceness" poems
to take a concept and to strip it naked,
and to make love with the emotion,
to caress the bare skin of the philosophical mind,
with such passion, such intimacy
surrounds these actions and encompasses the performance.
mental *** the prostitution of my conscienceness
to the worlds of thought and idealism.
I give my mind, liberation,
freedom to think,
to be,
to believe and understand.
our world, which is meant for us to live and create,
and to express and embrace that psychological intimacy.
that eroticism that a thinker senses,
the ecstacy of the mind is what we strive
to find, and to feel.
this is how we know.
- n.t.p.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 9:09 PM UTC
It is not a place of distance, but a place apart.
My teeth get ***** just like my thoughts and heart.
I have yet to find the purpose,
and acknowledge what it's worth.
The straps on my watch have broken,
But hands are always moving.
I remember the look of your eyes
as you slipped past conscienceness into a world unspoken.
Muscles stiff, and bones locked.
Lips losing life. All was blue.
I held up your head, eyes rolling back--
I had to leave the room.
I cried by the window.
Those eyes, your eyes,
were not yours for that moment.
It is not a place of distance, but a place apart.
I have brushed my teeth,
and reconsidered it all.
Our hearts continue to beat,
and you have risen from your fall.
I may not have found the purpose,
but I've still got the time.
Oct 25, 2010
Oct 25, 2010 at 11:20 AM UTC
As you took your last breath
Dying in my arms
The blood from your wrist
Scattered everywhere
I was paranoid
On the brink of collapsing
But you needed someone strong
So I hid the tears
That still flowed
You needed somebody quick thinking
But my mind focused on not losing you
You slipped in and out of conscienceness
Your body so cold
I knew I came too late
I tried to be something
That obviously I was not at the time
I was completely scared
I dialed 911
But I knew they wouldnt come in time
I knew I was going to lose you
But I told you to hold on anyways
I told you I loved you
That I wouldn't be the same without you
That everything would be wrong
That words in my poetry
Would suddenly not make sense
And I would regret not coming
To your aid fast enough
I remember the last thing you said
I hear it clear as day today
It made me stop and stare at you
Thinking how could this be true
We were always friends
There side by side since we were kids
Held hands on the beach
Went to Disney World together
Rode the same rides
And the last thing I heard you say
Was that you love me
That you were sorry
And your eyes told me exactly how much
I told you to hold on to that love
To survive this and we would live a perfect life
We would be each others forever and always
But sadly you never even made it to the hospital
You died at exactly 9:36 p.m.
March 29, 2008
And every year I call your mom
To say I am sorry because I was too late
That I couldn't save her daughter
That I wasn't strong enough for you
That I know it was my fault you died
I am truly sorry
And will never forget
The last thing I heard you say
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 4:30 PM UTC
They say there's no place like home,
Tis True,
There is no way to describe what the displacement of Homelessness has done to me,
To my husband, to my kid,
It has taken his life,
One drink at a time,
It has stripped our daughter of security,
And has eaten away at my confidence,
The anguish is dense,
Between packing & couch hopping,
I've realized I own NOTHING.
EVERYTHING is DISPOSABLE,
I'm posable,
At the mercy of hands that feed,
Do you KNOW the toll it takes from me?
To go from being independent, proud of all I've worked so hard to own,
To hiding hunger pains so she can eat,
Never sleep, watch my surroundings incase we gotta up and leave,
From having a place of my own,
To call home....
To bird baths in gas stations, and sleeping in the cool air under the stars,
The buzz of traffic and drug addicts all of a SUDDEN become a lullaby,
Your home is kosher,
But out here it's a warzone filled with gangs and crooks,
You think you know the dark AND lived hard,
But can you keep a Stone face when your children question Why are we going thru this?
People pass by,
Glare with their eyes,
Make superficial judgements,
But I was once a nurse and legal aid a stable staple in society,
You turn your nose up, talk **** and snicker,
But let me ask you who's the bigger winner?
It's ME.
*** what you lack in conscienceness I make up with a heart that don't stop,
Its cracked and bloated,
It's bled and skipped beats,
But it's STILL worth more than the bucks you proudly came with,
My hardships and trials built this great Wall of iron,
I'll burn like wildfire if you ever think that you can hold my head down,
But there's nothing like home,
I'm BROKE it don't show,
And no one will ever know,
Don't judge a book by its cover,
Read the last page and think you know the struggle,
Take a step back view the entire picture,
Crack the spine and begin to read thru,
What you don't know it way surprise you,
You were going thru cubic zirconia's,
**** you might find a DIAMOND.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 21, 2018 at 10:24 PM UTC
It comes and goes
Those sensations, those blows.
My spirit found me again
Caught me off guard, didn't knew we had connection
It reminds me and remakes me again
Though I don't need it, I don't need affection
And I am concentrating on racionality to avoid my spirituality
But it's the 7th sense and I can't stop its ********
It's a ****** battle against the unavoidable
While all I want is to stay in the void fable
It's so comfortably numb and the world is rough
So leave me be, leave myself, release my being, create something obtainable;
Live in fantasy, be something else, ease your ageing and taste everything reachable.
But not me, I am one without a scent
I am a black canvas trying to be a paint
Everything just disappears in me
I am a black hole absorbing all and turning it to nothing
I am hopelessness. Apsens and I are tyed together
The absence is what dyed my conscienceness
I feel nothing because for every passing second I am less and less
I'm the embodiment of emptyness.
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 12:07 PM UTC
the sky is blue, high and weightless but my eyes are red, low and heavy. they carry my soul,my conscienceness.
high,my name is absolem and my father is peace my mother is enlightenment.
I see beyond your typical spectrum,I can see your soul,you are a soldier fighting an endless war for your life,your eyes are open but you do not see. do you even feel?
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 8:36 AM UTC
Drifting,
oh so ever slowly through conscienceness.
Through the fires of my turmoil,
which roar in agony, to real.
To the calm breeze, of my sleep, which surrounds me, and conceals me.
From the ripples of water that act as memories,
which leads to the play in my dreams,
made and constructed by all these things,
that I have been over the years.
My dreams have been made by feelings I had,
like the fires I spoke of but more serene and sad.
Horrors of losing the people who are close,
are made true in my dreams,
where my monsters come close.
These dreams make me sad and cold inside,
even though I wake up, sweaty and alive.
I sleep again,
my calming beat, reminds me.
I'm in a field this time, the wind, unusually warm and welcoming,
its calm relaxes me as i conscientiously sleep.
My last dream,
before I have to re awake, to start my day,
is one of memory warm and sweet, as I eat and chew something chocolaty new.
A birthday I think, this memory is,
as the food, I scarf down my throat,
is something as great as a chocolate cake.
This memory I realized, has been lost in the junk of my mind,
and I hope one day,
I'll remember these memories,
outside of sleep and outside of my time.
Dec 29, 2017
Dec 29, 2017 at 9:10 AM UTC