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"confining" poems
In time you’ll recover and absolve push those scorned impressions aside hammer down the jaded edges and sing that delightful commoners song the one you sang so well in what seems a lifetime ago You really had it you know that fiery disposition and nimble cunning those butter chords and derelict style we could see it -- we could all see it it was all it took to turn the evening tide (and rile that buck fever) heads bashing tongues lambasting middle fingers high and raising Cain on those may fly statesmen There were no rules when it came to your survival no textbook rally or common bond no structured songbird or bravado stage you either made it, or laid it “life by the ***** Mr. Poppy would say a kaleidoscope of dreams with rich colored imagery hardened artisan seams in a carefully woven motif But something got lost in the needle point something sinister and distorted took hold the quirks and street genius that were your lifeline gave way to grunts and squeals and chilling night crawlers the colors faded quickly to a cold confining grey There was no grace in the new world no retribution or switch back no salvation or accorded finale only edged platforms of blackened steel that kept you cased in a silent vanquished cell shivering cold with fear night without day all in the shadow of death But time heals all and the polish sneakers and open sores are long gone (though the roman nose and shallow cleft remain) indeed the falconer beat the widow maker this go around and I’m hopeful it won’t happen again and if it does you’ll see me standing hand on heart with that old verse in hand: he ain’t tainted or silly, and most certainly not forgotten… he ain’t loony or fixed, or a product of his self-doing… he’s just a straight shootin’ guy, who had the most of it figured out
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Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 8:38 PM UTC
The Commoners Song
In time you’ll recover and absolve push those scorned impressions aside hammer down the jaded edges and sing that delightful commoners song the one you sang so well in what seems a lifetime ago You really had it you know that fiery disposition and nimble cunning those butter chords and derelict style we could see it -- we could all see it it was all it took to turn the evening tide (and rile that buck fever) heads bashing tongues lambasting middle fingers high and raising Cain on those may fly statesmen There were no rules when it came to your survival no textbook rally or common bond no structured songbird or bravado stage you either made it, or laid it “life by the ***** Mr. Poppy would say a kaleidoscope of dreams with rich colored imagery hardened artisan seams in a carefully woven motif But something got lost in the needle point something sinister and distorted took hold the quirks and street genius that were your lifeline gave way to grunts and squeals and chilling night crawlers the colors faded quickly to a cold confining grey There was no grace in the new world no retribution or switch back no salvation or accorded finale only edged platforms of blackened steel that kept you cased in a silent vanquished cell shivering cold with fear night without day all in the shadow of death But time heals all and the polish sneakers and open sores are long gone (though the roman nose and shallow cleft remain) indeed the falconer beat the widow maker this go around and I’m hopeful it won’t happen again and if it does you’ll see me standing hand on heart with that old verse in hand: he ain’t tainted or silly, and most certainly not forgotten… he ain’t loony or fixed, or a product of his self-doing… he’s just a straight shootin’ guy, who had the most of it figured out
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65
If you gotta dream, show me Reveal it to the world And own it If you gotta passion, Disown your inaction And make a habit of climbing the steep hill of your goals, Or else dissatisfaction will echo in your soul Go after your dreams fearlessly, You've got all the potential you need, Just find the why for the motivation you lack, Conjure the reasons why you've laid low and cut yourself slack, Well, you can't hide behind excuses no more, Because you're a dazzling star and you're too bright to hide behind confining bars You think you're a nobody? Too scared to show your true colors? Hey, you better get out there on that red carpet and like a peacock flaunt all your magnificent beauty, And not even for a moment doubt yourself Or listen to the chickens cluck **** about you on the sidelines You've got a dream Stop hiding it under your bed And make it into your reality You ain't think life got magic, But it's full of meaning Once you awaken from your brain dead anxiety Because you worry too much of what people think of you Your heart will come alive, beating with all the colors of the rainbow and the music you love will revive you, I speak from experience, Stop letting your fears hold you back, Because they are just lies No one is gonna believe in your dream as much as you do, Not until you accomplish what you dream of, when you get there then they'll believe you What else have you got to live for But your dream! It's your purpose And it's your responsibility To make your dream a reality Not until then will you be able to see The magic that both surrounds us and lives inside of you and me.
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Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 4:44 AM UTC
Dream (Spoken Word)
If you gotta dream, show me Reveal it to the world And own it If you gotta passion, Disown your inaction And make a habit of climbing the steep hill of your goals, Or else dissatisfaction will echo in your soul Go after your dreams fearlessly, You've got all the potential you need, Just find the why for the motivation you lack, Conjure the reasons why you've laid low and cut yourself slack, Well, you can't hide behind excuses no more, Because you're a dazzling star and you're too bright to hide behind confining bars You think you're a nobody? Too scared to show your true colors? Hey, you better get out there on that red carpet and like a peacock flaunt all your magnificent beauty, And not even for a moment doubt yourself Or listen to the chickens cluck **** about you on the sidelines You've got a dream Stop hiding it under your bed And make it into your reality You ain't think life got magic, But it's full of meaning Once you awaken from your brain dead anxiety Because you worry too much of what people think of you Your heart will come alive, beating with all the colors of the rainbow and the music you love will revive you, I speak from experience, Stop letting your fears hold you back, Because they are just lies No one is gonna believe in your dream as much as you do, Not until you accomplish what you dream of, when you get there then they'll believe you What else have you got to live for But your dream! It's your purpose And it's your responsibility To make your dream a reality Not until then will you be able to see The magic that both surrounds us and lives inside of you and me.
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38
When did you become a stormy sea of obsession? Confining in all of your ways Renouncing all moves in any direction When one does not yield to the calls, you play Attempts to govern unclipped wings can be exhausting The very thought is so gravely insane Yet you still despondently try to cage in free spirits With those borders you set and maintain You reveal uncertainty in your own validation In the faith you hold in your own When you desperately try to close off the sky From free spirits thirsting to roam Did you know that your borders are guarded by insecurity? They are useless and protected in vain Take a look inside the cages you obsessively provide Not a single free spirit remains
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Jul 7, 2010
Jul 7, 2010 at 6:31 PM UTC
Sea of Obsession
The cherry blossoms, pink and luscious, in full bloom. Below the koi fish swim round, round in circles. The sun reflects off silk kimonos with a shine radiant, dazzling, With red lips against painted white skin, blindingly beautiful. A walk like unraveling ribbon, And hair like ink, bound tightly a few strands bound for escape. Untouched skin tainted by stares, clipped wings useless for an escape, Freedom comes in the hope of riding a cherry blossom, swelling in bloom. The leaves swirl to the ground, spiraling in nature’s ribbon. The glares of tigers ********** her, kimono falling to her feet in circles, Eyes of blue, green, never turning away, trapping those beautiful, The nature of a hidden world, shaming and stunning, confining yet so dazzling. The snap of the gold-trimmed fan weaving in and out, dazzling The crowd with effortless twists and turns; clenched tightly, no room for escape. A dance of untamed water in a disturbingly beautiful Unity of desire and fright. A young bud not on the verge of bloom Thrown into a crowd of tigers to be spun in uncontrollable circles And entrapped by the unflinching gazes in silk ribbon. The game is simple: mesmerize a pack with grace of ribbon, Attend engagements that ask for a dance, tea pouring, but never dazzling That pure smile too brightly. Fool the ***** tigers to follow in circles, But never trust a tiger that promises a chance of escape. Never fall for love’s first bloom, Never become the next to lose the light. Stay pure and stay beautiful. A kimono is only as pure and as beautiful As the woman underneath. By cutting the ribbon Of virginity by a friendly lamb, instead of tiger’s bidding for the bloom, Only leads to the fall of a shooting star, gracing the sky with its dazzling Beauty, and the hope and wish of an everlasting escape Is crushed by the weight of a soapy rag, washing away the hope in circles. Though the pain of the cage binds the mind in endless circles, Though tigers ignored the aching backs and blistered feet, staring at only the beautiful, It is better, safer to stay in the hidden world, banishing all thoughts of an escape. Keep the tigers in a tight ribbon, Stay young, fresh, never letting the mind wander away from dazzling, And never fall like a cherry blossom after its first bloom. A walk like unraveling ribbon, The sun reflects off the silk kimono with a shine that never ceases from dazzling, And forever watching the cherry blossoms, pink and luscious, fall in full bloom.
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Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014 at 2:08 PM UTC
The Geisha
The cherry blossoms, pink and luscious, in full bloom. Below the koi fish swim round, round in circles. The sun reflects off silk kimonos with a shine radiant, dazzling, With red lips against painted white skin, blindingly beautiful. A walk like unraveling ribbon, And hair like ink, bound tightly a few strands bound for escape. Untouched skin tainted by stares, clipped wings useless for an escape, Freedom comes in the hope of riding a cherry blossom, swelling in bloom. The leaves swirl to the ground, spiraling in nature’s ribbon. The glares of tigers ********** her, kimono falling to her feet in circles, Eyes of blue, green, never turning away, trapping those beautiful, The nature of a hidden world, shaming and stunning, confining yet so dazzling. The snap of the gold-trimmed fan weaving in and out, dazzling The crowd with effortless twists and turns; clenched tightly, no room for escape. A dance of untamed water in a disturbingly beautiful Unity of desire and fright. A young bud not on the verge of bloom Thrown into a crowd of tigers to be spun in uncontrollable circles And entrapped by the unflinching gazes in silk ribbon. The game is simple: mesmerize a pack with grace of ribbon, Attend engagements that ask for a dance, tea pouring, but never dazzling That pure smile too brightly. Fool the ***** tigers to follow in circles, But never trust a tiger that promises a chance of escape. Never fall for love’s first bloom, Never become the next to lose the light. Stay pure and stay beautiful. A kimono is only as pure and as beautiful As the woman underneath. By cutting the ribbon Of virginity by a friendly lamb, instead of tiger’s bidding for the bloom, Only leads to the fall of a shooting star, gracing the sky with its dazzling Beauty, and the hope and wish of an everlasting escape Is crushed by the weight of a soapy rag, washing away the hope in circles. Though the pain of the cage binds the mind in endless circles, Though tigers ignored the aching backs and blistered feet, staring at only the beautiful, It is better, safer to stay in the hidden world, banishing all thoughts of an escape. Keep the tigers in a tight ribbon, Stay young, fresh, never letting the mind wander away from dazzling, And never fall like a cherry blossom after its first bloom. A walk like unraveling ribbon, The sun reflects off the silk kimono with a shine that never ceases from dazzling, And forever watching the cherry blossoms, pink and luscious, fall in full bloom.
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39
A strange kind of people whose hegemonic ways dictate and justify them to exhort their rituals upon outsiders and breathe fire on those who refuse. They have people called Slareneg whose job it is to decide the fate of the outsiders. They claim to be receptive of foreign rites but are known to somehow be able to coerce others into blindly discerning matters their way. They even have a history of confining their own, the ones they care not for at least, to do their bidding for them even though they are of akin heritage. These people also defecate in the same place where they consume meals. They are backwards.
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Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012 at 1:20 AM UTC
The Nacirema
I’ll protect the innocent even while I may proclaim my deep regard for who they are controversy may be exclaimed guiltless stated for my friends this word is used at its most broad when all children of the divine deserve their refuge from abuse even while I seek to proclaim my admiration for their grit stepping outside confining realms leading the way for this questing one on the shoulders of the perverse this is how the public may respond declaring wisdom I don’t share when I see threads of commonality in my heart I know we are the same seeking power in our own way being true to ourselves while expressing how we live humanity searching for a voice I’ll add mine to the chorus admitting that I’ve fallen far while ascending to the heights spectrums ranged in pursuit my honest nature at last found though at first I wrongly thought I was alone when I was not the free spirits led the way I wish my voice could exclaim and still I hold back my breath protecting innocent like myself. © 2018. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20180909.
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Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC
Protecting Innocent
Stained are teeth, and fingers yellow, Softly whispered lies we keep. Smoke unfurls in breath so mellow, Promising but sinking deep. Coiling tendrils, soft and clever, Lull the mind in fleeting grace. Cinder ghosts that warm, yet sever, Leave their embers on the face. Every spark—a pledge unwinding, Every drag—a weight we bear. Sworn to comfort, yet confining, Clinging to a thinning air.
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Jan 31, 2025
Jan 31, 2025 at 1:14 AM UTC
Nicotine
Unto Him I am glued my King of Prussia. oxytocin- dopamine dilated his pupils inside his blue green as I entered Him, eons ago, and never came out He left but returned to my abode for me or his Tequila. I wanted to fall down crying beg him to take me with him to his heaven Saving me from the hellish existence But pain was greater then tears to convince HIM. ~~ Into his song YESTERDAY I merged  and with one voice we often sing it from that time on and on. I became his song his moon and stars. Although our fame sleeps as beauty rested in a glass coffin; with one leap across the gap chaos that one butcher with medical ignorant lies opened up and three  of us got evaporated. With one song each in heart we bridged that chasm. In his art we thrive yet for long. To Him to his heart of gold I slowly walk to, his ancient bride. Into our holy temple of forever, straight to his heart and open arms United in one single thought. Our own Taj Majal to reign we did plan to build. Into mine eye pupils, grasping all of his substance in his light projecting all was received My intergalactic time traveler. Interchangeable we are. In me he finds more than wisdom he finds truth a true artist. Our true love bittersweet. Before Him I Joyfully crumble kneeling As he embraces my swollen teary eyes and merging me Into to his heart and arms I surrender grace, charm and complete trust. There! In confining solitude In the darkest of mine nights My brightest sunny days it's him I hear, love and seek. I understand, worship and adore him forever more He's my true love! Luna tell Him! That I love him the most. ~~~~~~ Mr. And Mrs Andrew And Karijinbba. All rights reserved
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Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 4:10 PM UTC
Luna tell Him
Unto Him I am glued my King of Prussia. oxytocin- dopamine dilated his pupils inside his blue green as I entered Him, eons ago, and never came out He left but returned to my abode for me or his Tequila. I wanted to fall down crying beg him to take me with him to his heaven Saving me from the hellish existence But pain was greater then tears to convince HIM. ~~ Into his song YESTERDAY I merged  and with one voice we often sing it from that time on and on. I became his song his moon and stars. Although our fame sleeps as beauty rested in a glass coffin; with one leap across the gap chaos that one butcher with medical ignorant lies opened up and three  of us got evaporated. With one song each in heart we bridged that chasm. In his art we thrive yet for long. To Him to his heart of gold I slowly walk to, his ancient bride. Into our holy temple of forever, straight to his heart and open arms United in one single thought. Our own Taj Majal to reign we did plan to build. Into mine eye pupils, grasping all of his substance in his light projecting all was received My intergalactic time traveler. Interchangeable we are. In me he finds more than wisdom he finds truth a true artist. Our true love bittersweet. Before Him I Joyfully crumble kneeling As he embraces my swollen teary eyes and merging me Into to his heart and arms I surrender grace, charm and complete trust. There! In confining solitude In the darkest of mine nights My brightest sunny days it's him I hear, love and seek. I understand, worship and adore him forever more He's my true love! Luna tell Him! That I love him the most. ~~~~~~ Mr. And Mrs Andrew And Karijinbba. All rights reserved
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60
A place in which I know nothing about, an unknown world A world unlike any I have ever known to exist, an opposite of this reality A place only to be traveled to by deep sleep or sweet reverie A world of pure innocence and raw creativity, a world of adventure and fantasy A place where you can fly into the cosmos And soar through the universe until you become nothing but sparkling stardust A realm where blood isn't pumping through your veins, but rather what flows through is stardust A world within a world A realm where physicalities are meaningless and existence lies within the cosmos A world that causes you to question your own rendition of the word "reality" A realm that both defines and illustrates the meaning of the word "fantasy" And is inherently bigger than any one dream or reverie Something like that of an endless reverie A myriad of universes and ever-glowing stardust Something like that of an endless fantasy A myriad of imaginings and an ever-growing illusory world Something like that of a castle in the sky, nothing like that of harsh reality A myriad of thoughts that turn into pictures and skies that turn into the cosmos Have you ever journeyed into the cosmos? Through shut eyes and intense dreaming or through glassy eyes and pleasant reverie? Have you ever left this reality? Joined the entities of another realm, disintegrated into the galaxy and became stardust? Have you ever traveled to another world? Became another entity, fully embraced a potent fantasy? I wish to travel to this place and immerse myself in the fantasy I want to become one with the cosmos And escape the physical world I wish to travel to this place and immerse myself in the reverie I want to become one with the universe through the merging of our inner reaching stardust And escape this tugging reality Nothing is more terrifying or confining than what I know as reality Nothing is more appealing or liberating than what I know as fantasy I am a soul and I am stardust I am the universe and I am the cosmos I am a dream and a reverie All within a world outside of a world A place existing outside the lines of reality, a place within easy reach of the cosmos A world born unto fantasy, a world fueled through reverie A realm overpowered by stardust, a realm that is not of this world
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May 28, 2013
May 28, 2013 at 11:30 PM UTC
I'm Not Sure What To Call This One
A place in which I know nothing about, an unknown world A world unlike any I have ever known to exist, an opposite of this reality A place only to be traveled to by deep sleep or sweet reverie A world of pure innocence and raw creativity, a world of adventure and fantasy A place where you can fly into the cosmos And soar through the universe until you become nothing but sparkling stardust A realm where blood isn't pumping through your veins, but rather what flows through is stardust A world within a world A realm where physicalities are meaningless and existence lies within the cosmos A world that causes you to question your own rendition of the word "reality" A realm that both defines and illustrates the meaning of the word "fantasy" And is inherently bigger than any one dream or reverie Something like that of an endless reverie A myriad of universes and ever-glowing stardust Something like that of an endless fantasy A myriad of imaginings and an ever-growing illusory world Something like that of a castle in the sky, nothing like that of harsh reality A myriad of thoughts that turn into pictures and skies that turn into the cosmos Have you ever journeyed into the cosmos? Through shut eyes and intense dreaming or through glassy eyes and pleasant reverie? Have you ever left this reality? Joined the entities of another realm, disintegrated into the galaxy and became stardust? Have you ever traveled to another world? Became another entity, fully embraced a potent fantasy? I wish to travel to this place and immerse myself in the fantasy I want to become one with the cosmos And escape the physical world I wish to travel to this place and immerse myself in the reverie I want to become one with the universe through the merging of our inner reaching stardust And escape this tugging reality Nothing is more terrifying or confining than what I know as reality Nothing is more appealing or liberating than what I know as fantasy I am a soul and I am stardust I am the universe and I am the cosmos I am a dream and a reverie All within a world outside of a world A place existing outside the lines of reality, a place within easy reach of the cosmos A world born unto fantasy, a world fueled through reverie A realm overpowered by stardust, a realm that is not of this world
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39
I am sitting at a desk, back straight, head forward, eyes open. Blink. Economics melts into white noise as supply curves become demand curves become supply curves, elasticity. Water weeps through the crevasses of the windows and ceiling, mocking my ever fragile existence. Ankle deep in yesterday's cold forgotten words unsaid, the lesson advances. Demand curves become supply curves become demand curves, consumer surplus. A single drop christens my desk and terror fills my long hollow eyes as the ceiling mutates into a congregation of puddles. Rain that felt of hydrochloric acid dissolved the very flesh I tried to escape. God is not so sweet when it comes to sinners, confining me to the barriers of an insignificant wooden desk. The class remains like mannequins, indifference radiating from their plastic cores. Supply curves become demand curves become supply curves, externalities. The only witness to this nightmare,   my last breathe finally deserts me. I tense as the numbing waves climb up my spine,   injecting lethargy in each individual vertebra. Malicious tentacles wrap around my throat and water floods my collapsing black lungs.   White noise consumes the entire classroom as I float in and out of paralysis,   only to open my eyes. Blink.
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Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 2:56 PM UTC
A moment
The path leading to radical acceptance originates with a pause. Stepping out of your solitude, promptly let go of fear-driven reactivity. Embracing and accepting all of your being, surround yourself with the warmth of loving kindness. Begin now to forgive yourself and others again and again. Know that your capacity to be completely open brings wholeness.          There are no formulas for navigating all of life’s situations. Listen with your natural intelligence and wise heart then, by breaking out of the old confining patterns, freedom and healing are yours to hold. As awareness to truth deepens.   show gratitude to life that is now open for you
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Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 9:37 AM UTC
Reaching Radical Acceptance
viewer discretion is advised. The following program has graphic images that may not be suitable for all audiences The television stains my eyes I can barely see myself in the mirror While steady reporters shed not one tear Don't you see the dead behind you? Don't you feel the pain of their families While you just "tell the story"? 27 dead, most of which young children, in a school shooting The sickness creeps into my bones Its impact rattles my spine Debilitating me, confining me to a stupor Why? Why? Why end such bright futures and presents? Do you not see the damage that you've done? Do you not feel the blood pouring from Your own body? Do you? back to you, overpaid talking man A three minute blurb That's it Hundreds of people have been forever changed Millions more afraid And all you can do is harass them Beg for interviews While they still are in disbelief? But beyond that You show it over and over and over All with the political lean Of your respective stations Could you not stop for once And let mourners mourn?
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Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013 at 10:27 PM UTC
Viewer Discretion Advised
Dark limitless halls Chair wobbling, sitting strategically Not dead Nor alive In the middle comprised Scattered thoughts Hate, frustration, paranoia Confining Self -reliance Life of defiance "Why must I suffer," ready to die Creation made for a different environment A voice whispering, "Look up there is a sky" Baffled, she now remembers her grace A new place A world Universe in the making The black was only the beginning
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May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 5:55 PM UTC
Lost is not
Built up tears, A dam released, Violent movements, Punching bags. And all at once, It liberated itself Of its confining chains. Alone, An empty house, All that movement in still air, Very much hoping to be heard. And the irony of not knowing how to explain. Harsh tears, Ripped heart, A voice made coarse, Anger, Frustration, Fused a total meltdown. An agonising cry, Desparate movements replay On days when feelings numb down, And a hole widens from deep within, Projecting from an empty shell, Onto a vastly absent world. All the kicking, The punching, Sore knuckles, Aching knees, Swollen eyes, Dripping sweat, An utterly spent heart. And a hot scalding bath later, An hour or so, When souls filled a place called home, It was as though nothing ever happened, Simply a day well spent, Rather eventful.
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Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 6:26 PM UTC
Agony.
Take me with you, Through the classroom windows from where i flew, In the garden where memories grew, To the childhood where all the wounds were new Over the horizons which I once knew, To the mountains which I once drew, Crack wide open my world in two, Take me with you, Take me anywhere, Closer to you or away from myself Take a box full of spray paints and spray paint over the walls confining me, Paint a star, the sun and the moon and you, Paint a rainbow, Paint me red, green and yellow Paint the sky, blue and grey Paint the clouds, infinite and immaculate Paint a tree, alive and withered And a seesaw just to keep reminding me that we cannot rise together **** me in the friend zone
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Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 7:10 AM UTC
Friendzone
Would you love her? If her hair fell free Locks sway on her shoulder Wind catches them boldly Sunlight will invade them Brown blaze of strands If you could see them play Confining her forlorn face Would run your fingers slowly? If she sets them free If she let them flow A Rapunzel is what you need? A glance of that entangled mane Would be enough to drive you insane?
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Aug 8, 2016
Aug 8, 2016 at 7:33 PM UTC
Rapunzel
TW: suicide / cancer / brutal imagery july isn't a good month for me it is a collection of all the things i have had taken away. it is a bitter winter chill through a summer i do not get to enjoy. july is lonely. it breaks apart all the other months like a pack of werewolves; it is their alpha and i have six months before everyday is a full moon and my legs are tired of running from it. i have six months to enjoy the fresh scent of crisp air, to feel the iciness of snow without shivering through my skin. i try to break out of this body, try to knit myself a new one out of preloved sweaters hoping their stories will become my own so that i may have a july worth talking about. suicide happens all year round but your suicide happened in july and has happened every month in my mind since. i have lost count of the way i try to contact you to say i'm sorry. maybe my spiritual journey wasn't my own; i convince myself the universe will show me your face again one day and i hope it is not in july. people suffer from cancer throughout everyday of the year but you suffered in july. i watched the sunset through hospital windows, smelt more chemicals than fresh flowers, held back more tears than my throat knew how to swallow. has anyone ever drowned without being submerged in water? i have. i imagined cracking my skull off the glass confining you to this ward, to this smell of microwave meals and this buzzing of machines echoing like an emergency and my heart is on standby, i imagined it would give the ward some colour because i am so sick of seeing white. and this july this july, i hold your hand as your treatment continues. i do not feel the sun on my face because you cannot feel it on yours. i watch the sunset through windows. carry the bodybag of my soul around in "i'm fine" and "i'm okay." i don't think my voice could drip with any more sadness as i envision the words cascading down glass panels hoping if i spell it out for the world to see, someone will stop and ask me why i hate july, or at least, if i'm okay.
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Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 5:26 PM UTC
july
TW: suicide / cancer / brutal imagery july isn't a good month for me it is a collection of all the things i have had taken away. it is a bitter winter chill through a summer i do not get to enjoy. july is lonely. it breaks apart all the other months like a pack of werewolves; it is their alpha and i have six months before everyday is a full moon and my legs are tired of running from it. i have six months to enjoy the fresh scent of crisp air, to feel the iciness of snow without shivering through my skin. i try to break out of this body, try to knit myself a new one out of preloved sweaters hoping their stories will become my own so that i may have a july worth talking about. suicide happens all year round but your suicide happened in july and has happened every month in my mind since. i have lost count of the way i try to contact you to say i'm sorry. maybe my spiritual journey wasn't my own; i convince myself the universe will show me your face again one day and i hope it is not in july. people suffer from cancer throughout everyday of the year but you suffered in july. i watched the sunset through hospital windows, smelt more chemicals than fresh flowers, held back more tears than my throat knew how to swallow. has anyone ever drowned without being submerged in water? i have. i imagined cracking my skull off the glass confining you to this ward, to this smell of microwave meals and this buzzing of machines echoing like an emergency and my heart is on standby, i imagined it would give the ward some colour because i am so sick of seeing white. and this july this july, i hold your hand as your treatment continues. i do not feel the sun on my face because you cannot feel it on yours. i watch the sunset through windows. carry the bodybag of my soul around in "i'm fine" and "i'm okay." i don't think my voice could drip with any more sadness as i envision the words cascading down glass panels hoping if i spell it out for the world to see, someone will stop and ask me why i hate july, or at least, if i'm okay.
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63
They told me to take things back to the 90's Take things back to the heart Told me I should have done this from the start. But the views from my six are contoured. Covered in foundations of fuckboys, fuckgirls and blessers. So tell me how do I express my heart when this generation believes the only functioning ***** should be brain, Because heart will **** you And the others are going to die from harmful ingestions. They told me to take it back to the 90's. Take things back to the heart. So here I go. The basis of my poetry has always been pain. My heart and soul always confining in a dark pit of abyss. My body constricted in a corner Huddled up, popping everything it could. Now the basis of this story isn't about you saving me, But how you gave me your hand, shoulder, smile and wisdom to the path of saving. Of how you opened your chest, tore out your ribcage and gave me your broken heart as you took mine. Of how you taught me pain is inevitable but suffering is optional Of how you showed me true love. And how grateful I am. In twenty four hours the heart beats 115200 times. At least fifty percent of the time my heart skips a beat. This means from 57600 beats and above are skipped. A week consists of seven days In hours that's approximately 168. As like the first at least fifty percent is lost in thought of you Which means 84hrs and above I think about you. An average of all 12 months is approximately 140 days. Okay skip the math, let's get straight to the conclusion. Math is a fine art of illusion. Filled with various abstract to distract you. But the rule is you will always find your x. The x that completes your equation. So what I am saying is that you complete my equation of life You're my X. Literature teaches us to express our feelings in terms of literal devices. From anecdotes, personification to lititoes. It tells us to sing with our hearts, Speak with our souls and allow our voices to do it all. Like Christina Rossetti, "My heart is like a singing bird" "For my love has come to me" Look truth is you give me butterflies. You make my heart swell up in happiness. You make me feel alive. You make me stutter out of nervousness. You make me want to impress you. To always put a smile on that beautiful face. You make me want to hear your laugh every single second. You make me happy Which makes me want to make you happy. Because pain is a feeling we all get to experience But happiness is rare and I want you to feel it. What I am trying to say is I'm taking it back to the 90's To the early 2000's To tell you, you're one in a million That I'm stuck on you And that I am madly in love with you.
0
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 2:32 AM UTC
Back to the 90s
They told me to take things back to the 90's Take things back to the heart Told me I should have done this from the start. But the views from my six are contoured. Covered in foundations of fuckboys, fuckgirls and blessers. So tell me how do I express my heart when this generation believes the only functioning ***** should be brain, Because heart will **** you And the others are going to die from harmful ingestions. They told me to take it back to the 90's. Take things back to the heart. So here I go. The basis of my poetry has always been pain. My heart and soul always confining in a dark pit of abyss. My body constricted in a corner Huddled up, popping everything it could. Now the basis of this story isn't about you saving me, But how you gave me your hand, shoulder, smile and wisdom to the path of saving. Of how you opened your chest, tore out your ribcage and gave me your broken heart as you took mine. Of how you taught me pain is inevitable but suffering is optional Of how you showed me true love. And how grateful I am. In twenty four hours the heart beats 115200 times. At least fifty percent of the time my heart skips a beat. This means from 57600 beats and above are skipped. A week consists of seven days In hours that's approximately 168. As like the first at least fifty percent is lost in thought of you Which means 84hrs and above I think about you. An average of all 12 months is approximately 140 days. Okay skip the math, let's get straight to the conclusion. Math is a fine art of illusion. Filled with various abstract to distract you. But the rule is you will always find your x. The x that completes your equation. So what I am saying is that you complete my equation of life You're my X. Literature teaches us to express our feelings in terms of literal devices. From anecdotes, personification to lititoes. It tells us to sing with our hearts, Speak with our souls and allow our voices to do it all. Like Christina Rossetti, "My heart is like a singing bird" "For my love has come to me" Look truth is you give me butterflies. You make my heart swell up in happiness. You make me feel alive. You make me stutter out of nervousness. You make me want to impress you. To always put a smile on that beautiful face. You make me want to hear your laugh every single second. You make me happy Which makes me want to make you happy. Because pain is a feeling we all get to experience But happiness is rare and I want you to feel it. What I am trying to say is I'm taking it back to the 90's To the early 2000's To tell you, you're one in a million That I'm stuck on you And that I am madly in love with you.
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60
letting go of you would be like confining myself to a boat in order to taste the freedom of the ocean. and every day I'm without you would feel like swimming to the surface in a panic, gasping for air as your name fills my lung and drowns me.
0
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 3:42 AM UTC
salt water
Maybe it’s the simple idea of being trapped in my own mind Of being encased in this ****** square box Where all my voice does it echo Echo... Echo… Bouncing off these metallic confining barriers And there’s not a single thing anyone can do Unless you’re able to scale walls While defying any logic that comes in to play Maybe that’s possible … Only maybe.
0
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 20, 2014 at 5:30 PM UTC
Walls
There inside the chamber sits, Awaiting patiently; Gathering discourse and their wits, To match with Chimpanzee. Primate statues loom the loft, ‘Mongst whitening Baboons; Fidget in their seats too soft, Indifferent of this room. For ghosts of former nobles peek, In shame, as they observe; The power of the abject weak, Enable them to serve. Parrots cackling ‘mongst themselves, As peacocks flaunt their fan; Gorilla preens, while tries to quell, With gavel in his hand. Chimp arises, intently poised, To embellish his appointment; Words rehearsed to fill the void, Deliberate and pointed. For he, and only he, shall reign, While rendering his will Upon the reaches, lakes and plains; ‘Pon feather, fur and gill. Yet irony betrays this horde, Of chosen beasts that thrive, Who seek to witness own accord, On who should live or die. Baboons and the Chimpanzee, May climb to endless heights, Gather fruit from tops of trees, And relish in their might; But those who scrounge upon the ground, Or forage in the sea, Cannot relate to this debate, Nor self-idolatry. So this becomes an exercise, In futile words exchanged; In bartering the truth for lies, Leaves jungle quite estranged. Such is then, the sacrifice, That satisfies this troop: Lions shall compete with mice, For homeland and for food. This seems just, this seems right, So pleased to then arrive, To alter former terms of plight, Ensure the like survive. Commune must have order, Compliance is then deemed; Life must have its borders, Confining self-esteem. Parrots flee to bring the news, Of brighter days ahead; While creatures of the air and blue, Fear the distance spread. Content to reconvene again, As this is their employ; Govern those outside the pen, Such honor they enjoy.
0
Nov 14, 2010
Nov 14, 2010 at 6:08 AM UTC
Congress
There inside the chamber sits, Awaiting patiently; Gathering discourse and their wits, To match with Chimpanzee. Primate statues loom the loft, ‘Mongst whitening Baboons; Fidget in their seats too soft, Indifferent of this room. For ghosts of former nobles peek, In shame, as they observe; The power of the abject weak, Enable them to serve. Parrots cackling ‘mongst themselves, As peacocks flaunt their fan; Gorilla preens, while tries to quell, With gavel in his hand. Chimp arises, intently poised, To embellish his appointment; Words rehearsed to fill the void, Deliberate and pointed. For he, and only he, shall reign, While rendering his will Upon the reaches, lakes and plains; ‘Pon feather, fur and gill. Yet irony betrays this horde, Of chosen beasts that thrive, Who seek to witness own accord, On who should live or die. Baboons and the Chimpanzee, May climb to endless heights, Gather fruit from tops of trees, And relish in their might; But those who scrounge upon the ground, Or forage in the sea, Cannot relate to this debate, Nor self-idolatry. So this becomes an exercise, In futile words exchanged; In bartering the truth for lies, Leaves jungle quite estranged. Such is then, the sacrifice, That satisfies this troop: Lions shall compete with mice, For homeland and for food. This seems just, this seems right, So pleased to then arrive, To alter former terms of plight, Ensure the like survive. Commune must have order, Compliance is then deemed; Life must have its borders, Confining self-esteem. Parrots flee to bring the news, Of brighter days ahead; While creatures of the air and blue, Fear the distance spread. Content to reconvene again, As this is their employ; Govern those outside the pen, Such honor they enjoy.
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60
Maybe it was the fact that you only knew broken English And that you cried when all your tongue could only come up with blunt Norwegian Did you cry when all the other first graders thought you were stupid, grandfather? Was it that which drew you inwards to the growing child And the growing misunderstanding of communication. The barrier between elementary school tongues and accents is a large casme in your world. Was it the marines, the war, the things you saw that rationed you Into the secluded soul that you became? The distant, angry man, husband and father Who drove cars far away from home And than raged when you made it home on the weekend. Was it that which made my father different? Made him paint the walls of his room black and break windows at seventeen? The walls of that confining house had never heard yells that loud. The front door had never been slammed that hard. Friends' couches became more familiar family members. Was it that which made him the eclectic artist, unconfident man, funny husband, and tentative father? Who mentioned specific detailed taste without any context Who refuses to be challenged Socially inept, his daughter thought. Slight asburgers, she thought. Ungrateful! Selfish! Attitude stricken! He retaliated. How the **** was he supposed to react? He never mentioned how much he loved her, How much she changes his life. Was it that made her the way she is? She began becoming familiar with wine bottles and ***** that wasn't chased. She drank to forget sometimes She drank to not worry. She'd say **** more often And in the rooms of her best friends, She'd laugh at her circumstances. Than all she'd say was, **** THEM ALL* And sipped until the bottom of the bottle was her best friend.
0
May 29, 2011
May 29, 2011 at 1:52 PM UTC
Grandfather, father, daughter.
Maybe it was the fact that you only knew broken English And that you cried when all your tongue could only come up with blunt Norwegian Did you cry when all the other first graders thought you were stupid, grandfather? Was it that which drew you inwards to the growing child And the growing misunderstanding of communication. The barrier between elementary school tongues and accents is a large casme in your world. Was it the marines, the war, the things you saw that rationed you Into the secluded soul that you became? The distant, angry man, husband and father Who drove cars far away from home And than raged when you made it home on the weekend. Was it that which made my father different? Made him paint the walls of his room black and break windows at seventeen? The walls of that confining house had never heard yells that loud. The front door had never been slammed that hard. Friends' couches became more familiar family members. Was it that which made him the eclectic artist, unconfident man, funny husband, and tentative father? Who mentioned specific detailed taste without any context Who refuses to be challenged Socially inept, his daughter thought. Slight asburgers, she thought. Ungrateful! Selfish! Attitude stricken! He retaliated. How the **** was he supposed to react? He never mentioned how much he loved her, How much she changes his life. Was it that made her the way she is? She began becoming familiar with wine bottles and ***** that wasn't chased. She drank to forget sometimes She drank to not worry. She'd say **** more often And in the rooms of her best friends, She'd laugh at her circumstances. Than all she'd say was, **** THEM ALL* And sipped until the bottom of the bottle was her best friend.
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36
Even though disappointed thousand times or struck in a fight, She is now finally rising from her life's darkest night. So, today I stand here, Afraid to reveal my heights recite my ideas, and fight for my rights. You detained me of my will, Agonized my mind descended my skill. And confining me to fork and knife, Yes, it is true that this Is the story of my life. She who was pressed from all sides remained victorious in her spirits overcoming her fetters giving wings to her mind. She, the nucleus of our society deprived of her living, with a tormented mind and fractured within her own kind. If she tends to be so weak, Then the future of our country is bleak.
0
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 9:44 AM UTC
Give Her The Wings