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collin Mar 2
Diaphragm stretched
Still nothing I could say
Enraged, I threw the bottom shelves out
To make the hiccups go away
The Napkin Poet Dec 2016
Every ounce of pressure against my veins,
like the flood of heavy summer rains.
Trying to escape the coating of my flesh,
internal tensions I could not oppress.
I hear crickets, smell the morning dew.
All I can ever concentrate on is you.
Made to feel nervous but oh so calm,
sometimes even sweet like cherry lip balm.
A moment of combustion then release,
your tongue wanders onto my body, into a crease.
I'll never care if I get rich,
so ever long as you ease my twitch.
Stale smoke and the scent of butane,
breath seeps into me like a bloodstain.
You, a child at heart
and I, a freak into abstract art, like Ad Reinhardt.
What a fine creation, our own constellation,
an innovation, better than intoxication.
What kind of life
does the man have
that licks yogurt
from his hands
in the dairy aisle
while I squeeze
packages of cheese
and you shake
a cantaloupe
like a magic 8 ball.

It smells sweet
but the problem
you’re having is that
you can’t hear the seeds.

What kind of life
do we have?
Ask again later.

What kind of life
do we have?
Outlook not so good.

And the man?
Concentrate.
Ask again later.
Damian Murphy May 2015
It is New Year’s Eve
It is hard to believe
It has come round so fast.
Where did the year go?
No one seems to know,
How quickly it passed!
We got through another one
And what is done is done
we made memories to last.
Things we should not forget
But do not waste time on regret
It now belongs in the past.

There is no better time than this
To get together and reminisce
embrace the opportunity.
Time for a New Years Eve kiss
To contact people you truly miss
Sing Auld Lang Syne maybe.
Get together and celebrate
All the things that went great
And wonder at what might be.
A chance to seriously contemplate
To acknowledge and truly appreciate
Your good friends and family.

Through all your trouble and strife
Find the good things in your life
And concentrate on those.
Learn from any mistakes
Resolve to do what it takes
To make friends of foes.
Do not be afraid to forgive
Be much more positive
Life’s too short, God knows.
Whether woman or man
strive to be the best you can
as the year comes to a close.

For those you lost, shed a tear
cherish those whom you hold dear
love them with all your might.
For your sins seek absolution
Make a New Years resolution
A great chance to make things right.
Decide what you want from next year
Face the future without fear
A brand New Year is in sight.
Look forward don’t look back
make sure you have Mighty Craic
On this New Years Eve night!
#happynewyear to one and all. Sincere thanks for all the likes comments shares throughout the year. All the very best to you and yours for 2019. Keep writing!
MJL Feb 19
Joy ride spotted
Keep cool
Don’t run
Concentrate
Here we go...
Riding
Beaming
Ear to ear
Five and flying
Total joy
Up or down
Every time
Every f-ing time
Thank you Charles Seeberger


© 2019 MJL
Gemma Sep 2018
"Breathe for me...
You have nothing to worry about.
Oxygen in
Carbon dioxide out
Squeeze my hand if you can hear
Sit down if you think you are going to -----
Few more steps and you can forget your embarrassment:
So strong , I'm so proud , you're so brave."
But am I though?
Because their glares gleam weak,
their eyes deliver pity,
a grin , a laugh , I'd concentrate on their mockery for a few moments but my body is beginning to break into a million breaths.
I'm a pathetic mess ;
I can feel myself giving up,
the deflating of my chest,
the twist in my stomach.
Adrenaline, you've got to love it.
My brain is ready to start a fight whereas I can only produce half a sentence
then I'm done
down for the day
Recovering is the world's slowest reaction rate
And I'm never going to mend from the self-hatred my consciousness makes
Because I've always understood I'm not normal and that's fine
But the negativity created from these moments has made its way inside
So much the judgement stops me from breathing
My confidence has truly died
I'm sorry I'm not what you want
I know this isn't what you need to hear,
I apologise that my happiness appears forced
And my smile doesn't match my tears.
Naveen Tiwari Mar 21
She's better than the rest. One of the best.
She is smart. VERY SMART!!
Her laughter is pure, like of a small kid.
She makes a strange face when studying like burden of whole world is on her shoulders.
She sings,she plays,
she does dancing , she does everything.
She's a great friend.
All these things make her better than the rest
but what makes her unique?
It is that penguin walk of her when she is walking back from college but her hands stay still.
It's her revenge plotting looks when she is trying to concentrate and look into microscope.
It's her meeky voice in front of teachers which usually bursts on random occasions.
She would talk to you like she's an old friend.
Everyone likes her.
She just wants to be a firefly but she is indeed the sun.
A girl in my class.
Samarah Walker Oct 2018
I don’t know what’s happening anymore.
My mind
It can’t concentrate on one thing.
I can’t focus,
Everything is all a blur.
I’m losing it.
I’m losing people.
And every time I go to think
I see flashes of us
dancing in the living room , burning cookies, and singing trash songs.
i ****** at love.
You ****** at giving in to much.
We messed up.
Everything.
We had.
And now, your dancing with someone else.
Meet May 2018
Dreams. Aspirations.
Reality through the blurred visions
In search of
fading destination
Fallouts. Selfdoubts.
High on bad decisions
Want to scream out loud
Wanna touch the clouds
but stuck in a shell
Paranoid as hell
Craving miracles to happen
In more than many ways
Sleepless nights, dreadful days
Constant flow of thoughts
running through veins of brain
Past to regret about
Present to curse upon
Future to dwell on
And all that we need is an escape
Not to quit
but to be quite
To feel the peace
To use our elite wits
Through which art can speak
& words can live
To concentrate
without caring about the consequence
Hit the right note
& make the most of it
with what you got
This life ain't free of cost.
Traveler Feb 8
Talked with my psychologist today
Come to find out
I am afraid of being sober!
I experience my emotions
Far too intensely
I begin to hyperventilate
White noises fills my head
Involuntary muscle spasms
Heart pounding in my chest
Deep breaths, meditation
Better yet medication
My empathy is an open wound
  Quiet! Concentrate on your legs......
TRAVELER TIM
Ken Pepiton Oct 2018
--- as a boy, I explored a hermit's lair
--- the hermit was not there, he'd left nothing but a tin box
--- of charcoal pills, a panacea for curiosity, I was told.

This old bearded fellow who lived at the foot o'thumb butte,
by the burro's water hole,
other side o'the hill from Doug McVicar's Jasper find

Tidal shorelines from my child hood
swirling through the softed rocks

Boulders on the bottom, roll on, crustal waves rise and fall

it all goes back to that 13,000 year mark
when Gobekli Tepi,
was in the building,
long long before
the Hopis were on the Pollen Way, leaving land marks on

Rocks risen above the desert floor

Some thing came from space, something very cold,
a snowball so big it tugged the ocean of magma
through the crust of the earth

nuclear glass, same time. nano diamonds

The younger dryas-

melt water pulse, fire from the sky, men could see that, with their own eyes.
and then they saw the clouds of witnesses

Rituals learned, the story heart seeps from mother to child,

at first touch some say.

Specialized touches were included in the 2.0s.
Holistic wuwu Randall Carlson laughs, why lie? Evidence, see.

What did you see when you passed through hell the first time?
Nothing, you kept your eyes shut.

Are you really
Experienced? That was the question. Ask the experts,
but some of them lie.
Never trust their clocks, that's wise. Time is too temporary to make
much difference
in the long run. Time, least of all powers in eternity. Chronos,
Chaos shattered him, and some story teller on a journey
saw the event
while his tongue was being tamed, a task no man can do.

Fire and Ice from heaven to earth,
whole peoples saw it,
with the eyes in their head

Hope is the key to the heart's lock on reality

The younger Dryad's oak burned,
Drought killed all the others, bugs killed the elms.

Ah spirit to spirit, compare. The heart of the world is weeping
for the ignorant eaters of poisoned poems and stagnant stories

speed kills when it comes to cosmic notes on rocks

patience, under stand the canopy of heaven can, filter
poison from those
stagnant stories's idle words, redemption draweth nigh,

count on it. Keep counting, patience finishes what she starts.

Sacred Geometry, scale invariance, I saw the Mississippi
Carve meandering ant canyons in the dirt
while watching the rain
Nothing's secret anymore, that's a reality that may be beyond

your thought. Textbook in stone. I know geometry Mr. P,

can I come in? She who builds, who destroys, who rebuilds, suggested
my bombs have a Nobel role,
in energizing

the ark
the earth is the ark, but you knew that already, right.

Acacia bush visions from a medium
of messaging the master builder,
who, you know, made this
happen, used to heal with ashes.

Healing war, study it no more, it is
possible man, alone, can imagine.

The Godhead? What's the big idea? You a heretic, Mr. P?

Come and see, leave the clock/phone.
---

This is big momma story, little clay doll with pointy feet
sticks in the dirt, stares at the fire,

the story mamma, shhh

Stands, and lifts her hands up high, pointing
all her fingers to the skies where ashes, glowing
rise,
like we can imagine the stars once scattered by God
and his sons's servants prepping

origins of human conflict taught
Tubalcain by fire light, while Jubal
Sang the very umph umph song from
Taj Mahal' 1970 with Jerry, Fillmore West,

A message to Garcia, from on high:
the imbecility of the average man—
the inability or unwillingness to concentrate on a thing and do it,
That, resist. It is evil.

Angels, imaginable, you know, mere messages, nothin more,

so great a cloud of witnesses
there was a times when  all
imaginations men were imagining heartily
were evil, altogether.

Enki left and went to the moon, or that's the story grandma's
sisters told me
when I was a little boy lost and found from time to time

The serpent on the staff, where's that story from?
Who says their mammy saw that happen.

Time, Hosts of Heaven, time is one of those.

Fan tasty taste, see, the truth is good.

Freedom, responsible freedom, take as granted,
intend good and go.
Seed of the Dream,
I planted that. It contained this fact,

we reap what we sow.

Ambi-Dios, ambit-ion with no hope for something just beyond
the best that I have ever done,
that'll make a child mean as hell, on the average,
according to the data Google smuggled into China
through those super phones,
unavailable in the USA, protected by the wielders
of destruction who eat the world up,
and drink its very blood.

the bread of shame, is fed to slaves to keep them in the queue,

BTW que-eee was the word I used for ****, when I was a child.
I took that word to school.
Nobody knew what it meant. I considered that cool
and kept my secret until just now.

I feel so free.

A builder sees a building and the builder in a single glance.
None may enter here lacking geometry, that's no secret now.
The cultivated Pythagorean mind, simple as pi.

'Cain't get to Romans eight, which is here, now, I think,
with out going beyond Hebrew six.

The measure of a man that is the angel. No comma,
just a jot, then this means that,
to the mind
listening for mystery in beauty found lying around.,
glistening in the sun.
The charcoal pills I found fifty three years ago, these wandering thoughts I found dancing the trail earlier this morning.
Jordan Rains Apr 2018
[Him]

I was napping
Woke up all of a sudden  
Don't know why I feel like
Something bad is gonna happen
Now I need to find my pen

Been battling anxiety & depression for few years
And there's more that you probably don't wanna hear

No one knows how much pain I bear
All they see are the fake smiles I wear

Somedays all I want is someone near
Sitting next to me and I hope they would say
Don't worry! Everything is going to be okay
Today is not the end, tomorrow is another day

You know, when **** happens
I am not able to find what I had once

Both good and bad moments I had tons
Now it's just darkness

And that's why I write
To bring the light into my life so I can fight
my enemies who are hiding in the darkness of the night

And one day I might run out of ink
And when it does, I don't think
there will be much left of me
And the leftovers will be swept off to the sea
of bipolar depression, mania, and anxiety
Man! I don't want that for me

Truth is, I just wanna be me
Like this, on a writing spree
So, I can stay forever free
And rest under the shades of poetry

So here I am
At 3 in the morning
Awake as night, trying to fight
All the demons inside my head
So, I can move ahead
And leave my enemies mourning and trembling, in dread
And end this chapter once and for all- dropdead!

I know it's easy to say
But the reality is somewhat different
There's only one way
And when I look ahead, I only see the end
I simply pretend to be happy all the time
The only time you get to see the real me is when I rhyme

At nights, anxiety and I are a team
For me, sleeping is like a dream
You know what I mean- that **** never happens
Because racing thoughts never slacken
And when my days blacken
Uninvited thoughts come to my mind
They pull up the roller blinds
Letting darkness enter my mind
I close my eyes but they make me blind
And when they hit rewind
I go back to my past to find what I left behind
And what I always find is more thoughts intertwined

I always find it hard to fall asleep
I even tried counting sheep
But **** it! It never worked, I just keep
thinking about things that I don't wanna think
I told all of this to my shrink
Because of this ****
I'm not able to keep my life in order
Even he doesn't know why I developed this disorder

Somedays I can do many things
Somedays I cannot do anything
Somedays I feel like a king
Somedays I feel like I'm nothing
Somedays I cannot even do the simplest thing
Feels like I'm always on the brink
Slowly shrinking to nothing

Anxiety hoodwinked me into thinking
That I'm a distraught soul
And my life stands for nothing
but pain, stress and worrying thoughts


I know I worry a lot
Even about the fraught relationships I've got
I'm not able to hold all these thoughts

I'm slowly slipping off like a broken rope
I'm tired, I tied a million knots
but there are novemdecillion thoughts
So, a couple of pills I pop
Still no hope, I'm an undying mope

It doesn't matter how many battles I've fought
This time I lost, I'm not a dreadnought
Don't know how many more rhymes I need to jot
down to stop my mind from getting trapped in nomadic thoughts

I'm cutting my veins on both my arms
Death clouds on top of my head- my blood flows
There are blood spots on my bed top
Wait a minute!
What the heck am I writing?
Is this a death note?

Next morning, the dead wakes
With ******* headaches
My mind and heart are having a debate
I hate me when I can't think straight

My mind is a prison and I'm the inmate
I don't wanna repeat my mistakes
I doubled the pills I usually take


While making decisions, I contemplate
Every possible outcome I calculate
But I'm extremely anxious, I change lanes
Followed by the unknown, no nameplates
They tailgate, I'm in a dire strait

Au fait with this mess but I conflate
Everything I've got, I don't take things the way they are
But I have to go very far
Oh, wait! I think I'm carrying too much weight
Need to stop hauling freight
Before I break down, I need to hit the brakes

Somehow I reach my office but I'm late
It's like a disaster waits for me at the front gate
And as I step in, I'm gifted with more
I slowly open the door
Feels like this day I've lived before

I'm shambling towards a dangling bait
All I can do is keep on rambling. Wait!
Have no idea what's written on my fate
I don't know why my heart is beating at a faster rate
I'm not able to concentrate
Even the simplest thing I complicate
I hope there's someone who can relate
to all the tales I narrate

So, here I go again
I sent a text to my friend 15 minutes ago
Why didn't I receive a reply yet?

Maybe the network is slow or maybe the text didn't go
I should check my phone now; Oh no!
It has been marked as read 10 minutes ago

Did I say something wrong? I don't know
Maybe I did or maybe I didn't
I check my phone hoping new notifications it will show
But it didn't; I think something's wrong

Should I text a hello?
So I sent a few texts in a row
My mind's in overdrive as more thoughts start to flow

Maybe the phone's battery's low
And like this, I go, there is no stop
Oh god! What should I do?
Feels like everything is falling apart

This feeling is not new
Still, I'm worried to go through
I wish there was a how-to guide
to peacefully & happily live your life

I just wanna be carefree and happy
But I know, it's never happening
Maybe the day I die will be
The happiest day in my life


[Her]

My mind is on overdrive.
I can't let go of this anxiety clouding my mind.

Incessant worry all the time.
People telling me "it's okay, you'll be fine."
They don't understand how anxiety affects my mind, my body.
My whole life.
Most of the time I just want to crawl in a corner and hide.

Irritable and restless, my mind begins to race.
I can't concentrate.
My breath runs short and I feel like I can't breathe.

Peace and quiet is what I need.
But the world keeps spinning around me.

My face turns red.
Inside, I feel a sense of dread.
I tell myself to quit while I'm ahead.

Just let my worries go.
I wish it were that simple.

Every day is a battle
when you are fighting against yourself.

I have an inner struggle
buried deep inside but hide it well.

I bury it so deep,
no one can tell.

I am in a brawl with my demons all the time.
No matter how hard I try,
I can't escape the darkness of my own mind.

I feel trapped.
I feel alone.
I feel like no one can hear my screams.
Too often I get lost in vanishing hopes and unreachable dreams.

Happiness dangles in front of me like bait
dangling in front of a fish.
I wonder if I will ever experience true bliss.
Or if it will always be hit and miss.

Happiness likes to tease me.
I try my best to live freely and be happy.
Anxiety and depression take over every time.

My mind is never pleased.
I can never fully be at ease.

My brain is self-destructive.
Always beating itself up.
I just want to tell it to shut up.


I wish there were a switch I could flip
to turn off the anxiety in my mind.
If only shutting off my anxiety was as simple
as hitting a light switch.

We can't all get what we wish for.
I accept my anxiety as part of me.
I manage it, I live it every day.
There are days where I really struggle.
Others where I'm okay.

If you're okay, take a walk in my shoes
Let me tell you a secret, only a few people knew.
Now it feels like a lifetime ago.
It started because of my depression and anxiety.
When I was a teen I used to cut myself.

I never told my parents,
that I used to take a razor to my wrist.
It was a feeling I couldn't resist.

The razor called out my name.
Every bad thing that happened in my life,
I was to blame.
Cutting myself was a way to escape
To a temporary place where only I could go.

I could give myself the pain I deserved
for everything that I did wrong and those
that I hurt.


Cutting myself gave me temporary relief
from all the pain I harbored inside.
From time to time, I took the razor to my arm.
I was already ******* up I didn’t think it would anymore harm.
I hide it well, covered my arm in long-sleeve shirts. So, one could see a trace of my hidden pain.
I wanted to keep it tame.
Under wraps, so my life wouldn’t continue to collapse.

My whole life was a charade, one big lie.
I faked smiles and happiness.
Yet deep inside, I wondered how long I would have to go on like that.
I eventually stopped because I realized I was only adding to the chaos of my own personal hell.

And on a night where I was dark and depressed.
At my bitter end.
I downed a bottle of prescription pills.
Luckily there were only five left.

I felt the pills lurch deep within my body, begin to leave side effects.
I was on edge and wondered what would happen next.

Taking five times more than my recommended dose.
Almost left me comatose.
I learned my lesson.
I will never do that again.

Sometimes I tell myself anxiety is the price
I must pay for all the mistakes I have made.

I know that isn't true.
The thought fades.
But my anxiety remains, locked in place.

Anxiety is like having a demonic voice
In the back of my head.
It fills me with worry and self-doubt.
Tells me I am better off dead.

I get so frustrated.
I don't know if I want to cry or shout.
Sometimes I do both.

I vent to others and let it all out.
Yet I don't feel like they truly understand
unless they have experienced mental
Illness themselves.

Anxiety is an illness, but it is not like the cold or flu.
Medication can help it, but it will never truly go away.

I don't want to be dependent on pills.
My whole life I have tried to handle
depression and anxiety myself.

This might be the time to ask for help.
To realize I'm not alone
Mental illness is a solitary battle but there is hope.
I'm nervously staring at a blank page
I can not concentrate
Why can I not explain how deranged
These thoughts will range before I engage with another
Leaving everything getting to me beneath the surface
While asking after others

Internal whispers hint on my actions
Each infraction gains traction
As I fail to supplement the latter with a fraction of a rebuttle
All the while huddling in a corner and never subtle
Like a mortar ready to explode yet I self-implode each time
Because I refuse to unload
It makes my mind the victim within this fight

The fact that I will not attack but rather act and pretend
Like this suspension will defend me or better yet transcend me
Is another cover until exactly when?
Otherwise pending
How selfishly imposed is my level of deceit
Not a second of relief for I am a liar and a thief
To expose copiously my own hopeless struggle crumbling me

But if I don't take this venom that's coursing through me
If I don't choose lemons over poison
That's it, I'm done C'est la vie, ***** me
I'll write out each and every buffer
For this montage of self-sabotage isn't quite enough
To make me suffer

No.

It seems I need to be hit with lightning nineteen times while struck from behind and intertwined in the jaws of a great white shark before anything productive happens or anything creative sparks. Before I utilize the clandestine confines of this mind to do or say or think of something smart. Just another day to start another chapter in the story of my life. I've come so far and fought so hard to stay away from that knife. Known recognition through prepositions giving meaning to my trifles and tremblings, be they lucid dreams or presently vivid memories...

And never feigning, only straining harder each day
Contemplating carefully
The words that I say
The thoughts that I convey
The everyday reality that's now so far away

What can I do to replace the voices haunting me?
Flaunting their perfect prisms
And what I'll never be

Its never enough
And that's just too much..
Stealing my serene
Leaving me unclean
And never free
'Devils Don't Fly' Natalia Kills
Alaina Moore Jun 2018
Lately when I've been walking,
I find myself staring at the sidewalk.
Thinking "I should just lay down,"
as if the sidewalk is the perfect place
for a defeated nap.

Lately when I've been working
I find myself unable to concentrate.
Words move around on the screen
and my brain can't keep up with my eyes.
Reading only to instantly forget.

Lately when my phone rings
I panic a little.
Fearing whatever is on the other end
is something that isn't conducive
to peace.

Lately I have started to wonder
If I was mistaken to hide my sickness,
to hide my pain.
Because now I can't hide it,
and the perception of me becomes
a crying wolf.
Yet I've always felt this way,
just with lips sewn shut.

Lately when I've been eating
I am repulsed by food.
My throat rejects it;
unable to swallow.
No appetite,
neglecting the consequences;
the hallow weakness.

Lately I've felt like
I am slowly killing myself.
Adrenal gland pumping,
at all hours of the day;
heart grieving;
stomach on strike;
body screaming.

Lately I've been trying to get better
but I can't tell if it's working.
Nekron Aug 2018
Sometimes I find it hard to concentrate,
But my mind can hold the image.
someone That'll commiserate
in my morning misery,

Or at least understand The hollow filling like a drum.

Maybe
when I awake,
and see you lying

that things are fine

and our hands could be entwined,
or I could slip between your breast,
and hold you by your chest.

But why be so burdensome.
perhaps I’d rather be alone
Let the morning throes dissipate with the sun.
Otis Feb 16
blue meets white where
concentrate meets
rust.

one great Jamaican holiday
is red on blue,
4th dimension over
bright, square lights.

stainless steal ceiling fan
shaking lazily and
diligently, emitting dim wattage
without cover or C/Bers'.

this maintains,
this building full of plastic gumball girls
still 16
and nowhere close to pretend/play modesty;
totalitarianistically charged
with undulations of knowledge
both carnal and worldly.

blue meets white
and severs fear-bonding
as we breathe constellations.

please,
respect the muscle
and payment.
please, don't fret.
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