I wear the letters NYU sprawled across my chest as my individuality is asphyxiated.
Lungs choke under the weight of the added pressure. 

The thought of college plus my complexion,
Equals complexed looks that ponder my intellectually-heightened direction. 



Will you think a little bit more of me, with my conformity?



Attempts to better myself meet enough ignorance to even cloud the vision of God.
Segregation and alienation cause mental spasms the strength of lightening rods. 




I guess you're just a product of the environment to which you were exposed. 


But I'm always trying to fight the stereotype that black people are ultimately foes.



I am the ant and the kids of rich parents are magnifying glasses. 

Cremating me with the solar power of son's who were taught that their existence was worth more than mine. 



I lay motionless, in bottomless quick sand pits, itching to alleviate my stomach stitch, engulfed by set standards that could not be met. 


I am tired of trying to be what you'd like to see.
Astute, respectable, young black man-just so you can approve of me and hopefully think that we are not all "up to no good."



Say it loud,
I'm black 

And I'm,
Not going to lie,
The proud part is kinda hard to say. 


Because I walk down the street and see my face in the homeless everyday. 


I fill the prisons and I'm famous when the news reports crime. 

And when I show up early to interviews,
they look confused to see that I,
Don’t run on Colored People's Time.



I don't hate black but I hate the fact that black means that sometimes I have to find alternate routes to success. 



While other people's roads are already paved, I suffer from all the stress. 



I try my best but I'm always categorized as less, then a man. 


And I'm trying to change perceptions but I still feel like a visitor on American land




And the poor are physically trapped so I relate mentally.

We both suffer from the oppression and accept the hatred like it was meant to be.




Society has led you to believe that blacks are not worthy of equality



But take a long, hard look into my eyes and tell me that you don’t see my humanity.

I hope she knows what she's getting herself into.
I hope she knows what your heart sounds like after a night of
comparisons between her handwriting and mine.                                                                                                                                      
I want you to know that I am through with dumbing
myself down to fit inside your god complexed hands.

Don't tell me I never tried to save us.
I wrote you songs with knives on my palms
and your ears were anything but listening.

I had a dream about you every night since you told me
you didn't know how to love anything with a heartbeat and hope.
I started sleeping again when you came back, and oh when you came back...                                                                                                                          

I am not sorry that my temper is as short as the lifespan of us.
I am not sorry that your smile is the only one that ever made me
want to wake up in the morning.
I am all pain and long long longing and she has always been
a storm with a heart dead set on your stillness.
Our problem is that I never stop shaking long enough for the dust to settle.

I've been writing with the same pen for four years and
you still only recognize my words when she plays them back.

Let it not be confused, foggy or incomprehensible-
you were the one.
Until the one became none and I stopped being a number when you stopped counting miles.

I hope she loves harder than a woman with dementia, relearning parts of you every morning
in the places you reserved with my first and your last- maybe next time.

Maybe next time, maybe next life will be different.
Maybe I'll be patient, stronger, I'll stop covering my smile. You'll stop pretending to be in love.
I will stop shaking and the dust will settle and her poetry will make you sick.
Her poetry will sprout evening primroses and she won't know that you always fall asleep before midnight
or that you're allergic to flowers that bloom when the sun is down.

Eyes do speak.
It's funny how they perceive the things around.
The broken conversations heard by fully complexed ears.
I believed that I'd be ok.
The conclusions that eyes draw.
Never making sense of the words heard.
I believed it to be my biggest mistake.
Falling for the beautiful images seen.
Following sight, my first love.
Pain is often beautiful, layered one color after another.
The stories that unfold given enough time.
The initial cause and effect, forgetting the love immortalized before anything
was ever heard.
The intimacy that eyes will only understand/
Speak to me and I'll fully understand.
She'd never been in love.
I gazed intensely
Still I pursued

Sad to say
Hope wasn't enough,
there was a thousand words battling in her mind
but her tongue remained numb
Deep into the late night hours
She hugs her pillows
and paint them wet
Realizing her existence in this world is inane and all her ways are complexed
Yet,
She was forged this way
An unbalanced scale of life
She was forced to stay
Agony of her loneliness brought penetrating pain
She cried even through the sunshine
Lived depressed during the rain
Whips from life's battles instilled on her frame
Perfectly tattooed on her skin
Innocence robbed from her before the age of ten
Those hands exploring her body never got approved
Scars and words of abuse was all she was accustomed to
From minds of the ones she loved
Grew extreme curious
Too see what lies inside of a woman for deliverance
Nights she cried tears that refuse to come
Glands denying the tears and sufferings that attempted to form
Rejected
The torture and sorrow in the glass of her reflection
Taught her venom which she perpetually spat at the girl in the mirror
Her thoughts was her MRSA, constantly eating her away
Rug burns implanted on her knees from all the nights that she prayed
Her life felt more painful than being engulfed into flames
Disgust boiled in the bottom of her stomach, just from hearing her name
No one* understood her pain
No one even knew
Of all the dirt and infidelity her poor soul was drug through
Knives met her hands
Many nights she felt tempted but was too weak to stand
She'd rather fall
Full possession of her extremities but,
She rather crawl
into a deep dark cave
Than to reside in this World and become its slave
She was just a little girl
Dwelling in purity
A lost wandering soul
No form of security
For those who are believers and have even only a mustard seed of faith
Please
Pretty please
Remember her in your hearts
When you go to God and pray



                             Copy Right 2013
                                    ©Patty Ann

The nightfall smears a biding shade and plume
as Nyx complexed the clear diurnal day
and skews the stoic lensing out of gloom
alike the hearted Eros, wrought his sway.

How still the specks of frost on balm and reed
like stars arranged in view for crystal eyes,
and glazed upon the tips; a sweetened mead
which lovers strive in truthful, purple prize.

A sullen stratus coats the idle orb
succumbs the amber beams to patchy lure,
and from within uncertain skies absorb
a kindred duel; dreamers must endure.

Tonight, the morrow, all thereon to be
to ardors flux; at night is when to see.

I am creative, not coordinated.
I am complex, not simplicated.
I am dark, not illuminated.
I am here, not alienated.

I am a now,  a dark, a complex and a creative poet.

Beware if you are afraid of the dark and watch your step as you leave.

you paint a picture with words
speaking out just to be heard
you think yout fooling me but i've known all along
your everything you say you are
except one thing
strong
your weakness shows as you string me along
i try to believe you
but deep insidee i know you are wrong
wrong about being right
yeah its a complexed contradiction
but what else should i expect
with someone that mixes fantasy with nonfiction

so mirror mirror on the wall
its about time you crumble and fall
and amidst your broke shards of glass
come to realize the past has passed

dwelling in broken memories
your drown in your thoughts
tangeled up in emotion
afriad to admit your caught
like a spider you spin your web
parallel to the cycle spinning in your head
on your worn out path you continue to tread

i dont even know what it means to be
without you
because your always haunting me
taunting me
drawing me into your cycle
its time i break free

so mirror mirror on the wall
its about time you crumble and fall
and amidst your broken shards of glass
come to realize the past has passed

turn over a new leaf
dont look back
or stop in your tracks
determine myths from facts
begin to act
like the adult you are coming to be
look from an outer perspective
begin to see
clearly now
come to think about it
i dont know how
i believed in your self doubt

so mirror mirror on the wall
its about time your shatter and fall
and amidst your broken shards of glass
come to realize the past has passed

come to peace at last
and realize
that despise
isnt a comprimise
when it comes to fate
and that hate
isnt the only way to demonstrate
your emotion

lifes as vast as the ocean
and always in motion
changing with the tide
so swallow your pride
learn how to recognize
a blessing in disguise
end where endings end
after that
begin
know yourself deep within
submerge to the surface of conciousness
and listen
to the voice within
yeah thats really livin

so mirror mirror on the wall
its about time your shatter and fall
and amidst your broken shards of glass
come to realize the past has passed

Holy hell,
this show is insane,
riveting, complexed, nuanced,
compelling, captivating, addictive,
he proclaimed
on Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook,
wondering where the days went,
wondering what unforeseen abyss swallowed him whole.

The rain came down in sheets that night
Thunder, as lightning split the sky
In that flash of light I saw you at my door
Your tear filled eyes glistened in a dark.
You want it darker?

Whistles of the wind through wires as
Rain knocked agains the windows of my room
Glass of wine in candle’s dancing light
Drama of the one you left behind.
You want it darker?

Your story was so incredibly complexed
In the way of pain inflicted perfect storm
How the one you love - left you broken
Hurting, at my door, looking for revenge.
You want it darker?

With every kiss our friendship’s dying
With every teardrop revenge was growing hotter
No love can heal the pain we’re causing
As we fell lower our fury burnt brighter.
You want it darker?

Like stars on a cloudy night
My true feelings were hiding in a dark
I couldn’t even look you directly in your eyes
Cause through you I was making love to her.
You want it darker?

Agonizing pain of self Inflicted cuts
Hearts drained of passion, dying fast
We both knew that you’re in love with him
I’m still in love with fading light of her.
You want it darker?

Like waves crashing agains a shore
I felt your pain collide with mine
Eyes wide shut as we reached out to touch
In our minds we wanted the ones that we were not.
You want it darker?

Dying candles flicker in a rays of raising sun
Lifeless hearts, falling out of lovers grasp
I used the blood for ink to pen this poem as
Angels wept in sheets the night before.

You want it darker.....

I Grace The Stage With ... " Elegance " ...
Then Utilise Words With ... " Eloquence " ...  !!!
  
My Wordplay ... Sways With Common Sense ...
And Does NOT Play With THIS ... NONSENSE ... !!!
  
While Those Who DO Have NO DEFENCE ...
And Should Do This ... Put Down Their Pens ... !!!!!!!!!!!!
  
My Use of Intelligence DISMISSES ....................................... Irrelevance .....  
And Has NO USE For ... FAKE Pretence ... !!!!!
  
Most Poets Seem Like Governments ... !?!
And ABUSE The Art For Dollars and Cents ... !!!
  
In Some Ways Yes I'm A Little Like THEM ...
  
But DON'T Be Fooled My Wordplay PROVES ...
That I Am From A ... DIFFERENT School ... !!!!!!!
  
My Use of Phrase Is Smooth and Cool ...
And Does Not Run From Dark Issues ... !!!
  
HELL YES My Words DESERVE Payment ... !!!
  
In Times Like THESE ...
INTELLIGENCE And ELOQUENCE ...
Is Simply This ... EDU-TAINMENT ... !!!!!
  
I've Learnt From Men Who STAND AGAINST ...
CORRUPTION In Our Governments ...
By Using Rhyme And INTELLECT ...
  
While Those Who CLAIM To ... " Serve and Protect " ...
KEEP Cashing Cheques At OUR Expense ...
And Commit CRIMES of ... " NEGLIGENCE " .... !!!!!
  
Governments Who GOVERN Men ...
And KEEP Talking About ... DEFENCE ... !!!!!
  
Whilst Sending Soldiers To Their END .... !!!
So They Can CLAIM Dollars And Pence ... !!!
  
Whilst Recompense For Those Who've LOST ...
Is USUALLY A ... "Quick Pay Off" ... !!!
  
What Form of Intelligence Leads To .... DEATH .... ?!?
And Leads To PAIN UPSET And STRESS .... !?!
  
I'll Give You ... A Guess ...
In FACT I WON'T ... !!!
  
It's OBVIOUS ...
It's Something Known As VIOLENCE ... !!!
  
INTELLIGENCE Used By Governments ...
Is Claimed By Them To Quell TERRORIST Men ... !!!!!!
  
PUNISHMENT And DETAINMENT ...
Is Used To ABUSE And Then Confuse ... ?!?
  
That's Just My View ...
But ... What Do You Choose ... ???
To Think You're ... Shrewd ...
  
Well ... If You DO ...
What REALLY Is ... " True " ... ???
  
ADMONISHMENT Should Be ISSUED ... !!!
To Those Who ... " CHOOSE " ...
To ........................................... Ignore CLUES .... ?!?
And Basic Things That Give Them PROOF ... ?!?
  
It's A TRAGEDY ... !!!
  
When People FEED OFF IGNORANCE ...
And REJECT Use of ............................................. Common Sense ... ?!?
  
That's Why I Choose To Use The TWO ... !!!
INTELLIGENCE And Common Sense When Dealing With The ... " Fairer *** " ...
  
Those Who HAVE LONG **** Legs ... !!!
And Curves That Make My Muscles FLEX ... !!!!!
  
Those Who Move With ELEGANCE ...
Are RARELY Those Who Have ... "Much Sense" ... !!!
  
A Woman Who Shows INTELLIGENCE ....
Is Likely To ... Sleep In MY BED ... !!!
  
REPLAYING The *** INSIDE Her Head ... !!!!!
  
But Those Whose Legs Are QUICKLY Spread ... !!!
And CLEARLY Have NO Self Respect ...
Are QUICKLY Asked To Do What's Best ...
  
By Use of DIRECT ... " Eloquence " ...
NEED I Say More ... You Know The Rest ... !!!
  
Women THESE DAYS Are So ... " Complexed " ... !?!
And Now Leave Many Men ... Perplexed ... ?!?
  
INTELLIGENCE In Most Seems SPENT ... !!!
  
Words Like THOSE May Well OFFEND ... !?!
So What If THEY DO Bring Your ARGUMENTS ... !!!!!
  
But .....
Be ELOQUENT And INTELLIGENT ... !!!!
Then Girls I'll Treat You ... " Like A Gent " ...  
And May Just Give You ... COMPLIMENTS ... ?!?
  
I'm A RARE BREED Now ALMOST ... " Extinct " ...
A **** Man Who Also ... THINKS ... !!!
  
INTELLIGENCE Yes And FIVE STAR *** ... !!!
  
Come On Now Girls Would You Like A Turn ...
At Getting Up CLOSE With The Man ... BIG VIRGE ... !?!
An INTELLIGENT Man With ELOQUENT Words ... !!!
  
See My Use of Verse Is NOT Perverse ... !!!
And RARELY Uses ADVERSE Verbs ... !!!
  
I'd Rather Get INTO Subjects ...
And Find Out What's INSIDE Your Head ...
And AFTER That ... INSIDE YOUR BED ... !!!!
  
I'm NOT A ... SELF OBSESSED Poet ... !!!
Who's Written This To Get Some *** ... !!!
  
If You DON'T Like ME Then Go In PEACE ... !!!
My Pen and I Will Be ... Just Fine ... !!!
  
Rhymes I Design Take Up My Time ...
And Help My Mind RESIST ... Felines ...
Who Seem To Think That Love's A CRIME ... ?!?
  
From Women To Our Governments ...
BOTH Seem Confused And CLEARLY Choose ...
  
Arguments ... WITHOUT Defence ... ?!!!?
  
While Me I Guess Have Been ... " God Blessed " ...
  
With ...
  
" Elegance, Intelligence,
and CLEARLY Yes, Great Eloquence ! "

i wish i could
string my phrases
together with
a lace of
simplicity and
modesty.

but i am
complexed
by you.

When I tell my little sister I got a pet mouse
She's asks "why didn't you get a hamster like a normal person?"
Her voice poisoned with disgust
When the guy at the pet store says he didn't expect me to be a snake person
Says he didn't expect to sell a mouse to someone like me so quickly
I know he means little girl, breakable woman
Little girls are not supposed to be into snakes and scraped knees and oversized tshirts
But I, I always have been
And yet my friends who have the best intentions
Tell me if people saw my accessories they'd never assume I'm queer
But they don't say queer they say gay
But I'm not gay
But I'm not straight
And I keep teetering between too much and not enough
Always in this heat of this new game
And I was never taught how to play
I was never given a rule book to my gender
To my sexuality
Because they never tell you how to be in between
I never correct people when they mislabel me in one way or another
Because I've learned people hear what they want to believe
It means I will be wasting the already fleeting breath in my lungs
To explain something to those who will never embrace it
My gay friends debated over whether bisexual people are actually gay in front of me
And wondered why I walked out of the restaurant
They didn't see the lava bubbling with anger and shame at the back of my throat
I cannot even call myself bisexual
Because that implies too gendered
That implies too simple
For my hopelessly complexed identity
I find myself somewhere on the border
And some days this body serves its purpose
Other days it is violently trying to escape itself
Not quite enough to mention to anyone but me
Not quite enough to matter to anyone but me
But I see these binaries as a prison
And most days it seems like I am in solitary confinement
Too much, not enough
Always in between

Just happened to glance a pretty girl out there,
Bathed in tattoos, sitting in my bookstore.
I loved the way she looked, knew that i adore
That blouse, the chest, stuck sadly in her wheelchair.

Was it her fragility that made her fair?
Her curly hair complexed and tied trojan war,
A warrior on wheels, stare full of ignore,
Her name came to me in the air, it was Claire.

So unfair, a devastating joke from god.
Beautiful despair, her hand clutching the steel,
As she reads some more titles that came off odd.

A goddess, half man - half machine, you're ideal,
My heroine handicapped and neatly flawed.
Claire made me forgot my own Achilles' heel.

full, so full and effervescent.
overflowed by my creator despite my will to hold or withstand the contents.
ever trickling for you although I harden my spout
simply purposed yet complexed by morality
oh so full, so effervescent, pray my spout never shy from Providence's one true will.

A complexed fusion.
Complicated with confusion.
A foggy & dazed delusion.
False accusations.
Mere assumptions, no amusements.
Senseless movements.
Defiled improvements.
Stubborn sunshine that is not yours or mine.
Youth can't pause or rewind.
Unfading beauty doesn't wither.
Breath taking chill which shivers.
True loves kiss is never delivered.
Sunshine sets, the present regrets.
A wedding I never get.
A hatred you can't forget.
A destiny unescaping, mind ******.
An existence slow & scraping.
Only remembered from videotaping.

This complexed mind
with it's idle paint set
don't you see people
he is already dead

I am not brave
nor do I care to be a hero
I am already dead
and mean to be a zero

Part please my company
for I am already dead
try to work it out
get it though your human heads

Yes I am already dead
broken and tortured by me
look how **** poor I am
I have no pulse, don't you see


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

By NeonSolaris

© 2013 NeonSolaris (All rights reserved)

She's the thought that occurs in my mind.
The one that shows up without warning.
A gallon of gasoline, a handful of matches.
The spark that ignites there is brighter than anything
I've ever seen.
Setting fire to anything that isn't her.
I couldn't have saved myself If I tried.
Watching everything reduce to individual piles of rubble.
Shes recklessly chaotic.
Perfectly complexed in the way that she stands.
Striking the head of the match on the bottom of her heel.
There she stands watching everything burn.
Covering herself with my faults.
There she warms her heart by the fire.
Stoking the fire with old memories.
Slapping my hand each time I reach for one.
She's that one thought that asks me to hand her more matches.
Paying no never mind to if she's burned herself or not.
Dousing everything in gasoline that surrounds her.
Her reply to everything.
Revealing a devious grin, extending her hand for more matches.
Theres no doubt in my mind that she's a devil disguised in angel wings.
Roasting her halo over the fire,
Soon to press against me.
Branding me with her everlasting essence

exercising my mind,
challenging restless muscles.

heart vibrated in rhymes
body couldn’t comprehend.

feet marched distressingly
upon restless pavement.

concrete incinerated
between fatigued toes.

soul and humanity battled
a complexed imprisonment.

Appalachian was a battle ground,
that planted my fortune.

i twisted my cramped fate,
encountered an extraordinarily
individual wandering around
an disfigured realm.

discovering inner strength,
forced oxygen to pursue my stride.

demanding my determined breaths,
to encounter pulsating freedom.

remember when you          we set out towards Arkle
started out

you were both young         the sun shone and the air
and a little naive                  was sweet

you got your first house      we made easy work of
                                                   reaching the summit

you made it your home       the view poitively exploded
                                                  in scale

then children came along   but once on the ridge the wind
                                                  picked up

life became a little  more     and walking became more
complexed                                complicated

but you held their hands      we had to hold on to every rock

yet each decision carried      concentration was paramount
a lot of weight        

as you raised them with         every decision mattered
heart and soul

ironically they weren't
children long                            eventually the wind subsided

they had established their
own identities                           and we wended our way back down

before long they had      
their own lives                          to enjoy the pleasant walk back
                                                      to the road

then you look back on life's
long road and ask yourself?   as we look back to the castellated
                                                     ­  ridge so high and way back in
                                                       the distance

did we really raise a family?   we ask, were we really up there?

It all seems so long ago now.     It all seem so far away now.

Haven’t written in a while.
Haven’t listened in while.
I’ve been missing,
you’ve been missing,
we’ve been missing for a while....
Trek, trek, trek.
CAVE, CAVE, Cave.
Home...home.
Alone.
Swim and sink, eat and drink
think and think...
another drink, drink, drink.

I feel every part of this. Resistance is futile. I embrace it now as it changes my many faces. I feel the old fade with the oxygen that leaves my tomb. Beauty is a thing of the stars now; a bunch of pretty lights I’ll never be able to touch....it seems. My world has shrunken but is now far more complexed...since I have grown into a smaller being. My life is beyond pleasure and pain now....

How is it that my mind expands more
and I understand less?
I no longer imagine life
but I clearly invision death.
Worst feels like my best.
Bliss feels like my stress.

“That’s only The Devil” they say,
but  I know I’m apart of the blame.
“Pray about it. Ask God for guidance”
I have yet to call His name.
I fall asleep in the dark
and awake in the same.
There’s a man in the mirror
my reflection feels estrange.

I write because it’s apart of my fight. It’s when I feel the strongest. It’s been quite some time since I’ve done this. I died. I’m still dead....I’m just alive this time.

#CAVECAVECave.

I am thinking
I am shrinking
I am freaking
I am normal

I am depressed
I am complexed
I am compressed
Is this normal?

I am tired
I am expired
I am undesired
This can’t be normal

As I lay me down,
To feel
the shape I'm in.

As I wonder what went wrong
To put my body
in this hell,
of being.

My thoughts are as clear- now
As my fogg filled mind- now

Can't remember -anything
As it all blends- together
In time.
Can't call heads or tales.
On a double sided dime
Called life.

To equal not a thing,
If nothing, is something.
Then that must be, what I have.
Is time, not to equal a thing.

Help me from this hell,
Please help me find salvation.
Guard me tonight,
God,
Please help me find safety.
Help me see some light.
(Just a glimmer, a sign)

Challenged-
are my complexed thoughts.
To live,
under this control.
This-
my everymove.
Round and round,
We go.

Like a mad crazed- carni
Are my emotions,
anymore-
Round and round
dizzying,
Till I can't stand- no more.

I am the puppet,
my nerves, your strings
Pulling and tugging
With-
the pain you bring.

Tearing and shredding
all, my dreams.
I am at the mercy of this,
Un-named, disease.

You give me no choice,
But to lie.
Trying to deceive.
Pretending life is pretty,
With the ugliness in hate
That you breed.

Yhe enemy now lives,
where my soul use to be.
Pulling at my hearts
Very fragile strings.

Fighting to be brave.
Fighting to be saved.
To pray away,
All the pain.

I pray,
each day.
Praying, to stay sane.
Praying, everyday.
To my God,
I plea, show me the way.

Help me please,
get out of this hell!
Reverse to good,
This horrible spell.

Help me please.
Please God, help me,
Find my salvation,
Please God, I plea.

Guard my soul tonight,
God help, find salvation.
Please help me, I plea.
Guide me safe, to my light.

Invisible you may be to,
so many.
Sneaking into others,
with unfamiliarity.

Changing their lives.
Turning them upside down.
unsuspecting, without a choice,
until
One day when you are found.

The shape I am in.
With,
My mind worn thin.
This pain aches, in my heart.
Is where all the weakness
Does start.

God help me,
Guide my thoughts,
through the night.
Let me feel you, in me
Let me,
know it's alright.

I'm a complexed being,
Tis,
Strange I am to thou
Not of this world,
Yet I dont want to be figured out,
I seeketh to be loved!!!

****.
Where do I start. How do I start, knowing that I can never find the perfect words to express every single little bit of emotion and the billion thoughts that run through the messiest brain to exist- mine. Yes I believe I have the most complicated brain in this whole entire universe or maybe I share this same belief with few other beings, competing to win the title of having the worlds messiest brain.

Having just experienced one of the many **** cramps oh and probably the first of the year, I have to say that I am in great pain and anxiety. My toilet is occupied by my mom and will continue to be for the next hour. Many things go on in the toilet. I hope I don’t **** my pants. Have I found myself? or maybe I jumped to that question way too fast. I have come to a realisation that I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. My mind, body and soul has been disconnected and ta da we have disorientation, constant questioning of self identity, a whole lot of self loathing, uncertainty, lack of emotions and the list goes on.

I am now on the toilet bowl and very much thankful for the spicy and alleviating whiffs of cigarette smoke taking over the pungent odour of- I don’t need to go any further do I. I have always felt like a TMI person and sometimes I see that as a negative thing but is it really? What is so bad about exposing oneself and only letting the world know the truth? Do we have to act a certain way in which we don’t address the smallest things that bother us and pretend we are all fine when our wedgies are killing us! Quite tired of putting up a ******* front!

The pitter patter of rain and petrichor helps to calm the discomfort of my stomach ache. The result of consuming large amounts of chocolate and milk on a cold rainy day. This is the start of something new or perhaps something that I have lost. My ability and nature to write my thoughts down. Something so simple yet complexed. Have I hid my innermost feelings these pass few months or maybe...what I have done might just be the scariest thing. Deflecting my feelings and the truth then proceeding to believe the lie I had been telling myself all this while.

I was loved thrice
The first time it happened, it left me with a broken heart taught lessons worth to learn for the one or many more to come,
Made me forgot my own reflection and left with a pair of small words 'you will get someone better than me' has been on loop in my head since then.

I was loved thrice
The second time it walked in the lane, it promised to never leave the home, it tried to fix lost pieces of the broken heart, and gave hope of a new moon, but then left with a more complexed pieces of broken heart and bones to survive in a sky with no stars.

I was loved thrice
The third time it came with a crown, no words were exchanged it made all those love songs meant something again, taught me to stand with those broken bones, talks were never ending and time took a break of it's work.

...and like that I was loved thrice but fell in love once.

©sarcasticbong

Is the battles over, or am I still dreaming
is this life again
oh ******* I have forgotten

I stumble from my bed
parts of me are dead
and all I think is to write

I need a blunt and a beer by my side
half in half out, in a dream world he does reside
his complexed hesitations

Again he mutters and clenches his fists
breaking a space in time suspended
oh *******, I have forgotten


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka Neonsolaris

Today is built on chance.
The ideal of a better tomorrow.
And still I love you.


Though every day can't be as perfect as the last.
It's made perfect for all the little things you do.
And still I love you.


The foundation of tomorrow begins with today.
And if blessed with longevity.
I'll still faithfully love you.


Although there will be times when I press your last button.
And other times when you can't stand the sight of me.
You should always be convinced, that I love you.

 
It's not because my heart doesn't have a brain.
Or the fact your face is so beautifully complexed.
In truth my heart shouldn't always need a reason to recognize it's
living, breathing representation.

 

Even if your mad a time or two.
Your still the reason life tastes so great.
And I'll still faithfully love you

I write words of wisdoms
And some of truth.
I live for my world
Delivering emotions in forces so brut
My words caused wars in days of then
All of the enemies were once so called friends
I only deliver love and words of kindness
Developed from drudge
Living my life with every step being judged
My life is so simple, my words seem complexed
Your life so dangerous,  you block out the rest
To create our peace in any state we're in
Is the only way to heal and be proud of where we've all been.

Am I alike a yoyo? Stringed and thrown
by knots around my hearted centre piece
to spin a course that's set, not by my own
but from unhappy masters, bored to cease.

Contently turning mind and heart abound,
to speed the limit, then return the aim
as tho' my thoughts of change and love rebound
within complacent discs, that they reclaim.

Life seems to whirl me like a yoyo trick
complexed entwining threads that then unfurl
to only then again with just a flick
have spun me dazed, bemused within the twirl.

I'm tied to play, confined within the same
tho' end it will, is that another game?

The Hoplites were guided by only eleven stars, the twelfth was in the sven tzora flint until the Vernagenesis tessitura, the cerebral plasticity of the warriors made many abrasive connections with their swords causing environmental circles when they were all running in terror towards the roadstead. by the specific slopes of Patmos, when he saw that from the height of the Profitis the subsequent prunings of infinity were released, bringing Brisehal from Dash-e-Lut towards the huge heights, re-pruning all the quantitative scattering of all the troops that were locked in the sea and in the spirits where they were blocked by strengthening some and weakening others, governed minimax that was put on an expedition and that was substantial in the disproportionate brain of the impiety of the Colosso de Sapsila, and a clone of Vernarth that had been erected more than four km high. The magnetic enclosure acoustics made them withdraw into the prefrontal of the Profitis Ilias, distancing themselves from the cortex that managed to differentiate themselves from the colossal walk after a few steps in the front of Brisehal, surpassing the prototypes of an ogre that was instantiated in self-reference by pointing with its index more above his shoulders, where his head reaches the upper border in the lower clouds, creating the phase of bellicose adaptability to intuitively define the complexity of knowing how to reintegrate with his dramatized stature, as he perceives that the basic cognitive characteristics were clouded in the pathology of a Kosmous that was in the final portion of its quarrelsome load, but at the same time remarkable of gray matter that was exalted towards the fifth hell of the Íblis, only confronting them with complexity in the face of all the morbidities that are not suitable to delve further from their own evils that are adverse to it. The cortical of the colossus archaeological specimen of Apsila, complexed the areas of myelination in the contrasting axons of this super being, from the guideline where all the Archangels, Cherubim and Seraphim were found. Evolution advanced with great scrupulousness on its part to show from the heights for those who were only destined to lavish blood that does not afflict them, instead, the colossus systematized its cortical areas to uncomplex what they had to forge after the battle epilogue, to unify Muslims and Orthodox in salvific lines making them and taking them through wastelands of the time of Kairos that rested in the grasses on a gallery of strawberries, where he showed to each side the rattle of the field patronage of Vernarth's myelin axon, signaling to them that he had already been part of the dump trucks that crushed the conical threshold of their time spheres.

After this release of anachronism, everyone looked to limbo seeing that thunder and lightning and electromagnetic volatilizations that became more complex between Vernarth, the Colosso of Sapsila, and Brisehal; the great giant of Vernarth who would wallow on the earth to indoctrinate himself in chemical ablution in the silicas gradually after the heterochronic abscess in both huge beings, who began to notice the apologetic reductions and corpulence to slow down the motor distortion between both, thus avoiding the hecatomb of the Peri Kousmos Patmiano with more than forty kilometers around. The time adaptation means veiled the elemental processes of time, causing full dawn to begin to darken immediately, realizing that the Kairos strawberries legitimized the ephemeral haste that could create a detriment to the epidermis of Muslims. The diplomacies of adaptation became full and basic again in the motor activity of the giants, surpassing the high cirrus clouds, delineating the maturation of the left hemisphere of Kairos, and warning neuroscience in the criterion of the ontological implication that saved the world and its species without reaching a conflagration of the flow, where only the multi-directionality will have to point out the passages that prevent them from the contingent, only approving the shortcuts that awaken the Eruv with the use of divine Kashmar, which would raise them over its charred branches with fragrant gum resin in the opening of the mantle of the Seventh Heaven. The nets would dislocate near some dry streams that were still in the possession of some armories that made synapses in the extreme of those who were freed from the fourth and precocious hyperstimulation of those who had omitted to return together with their loved ones, laying down obedience to a prince who only spoke of the good in the clyster of the Íblis, wanting to carry them on the alpha and alef waves, to raise the volts in the reaction chamber of the Colossus of Sapsila, in order to try to save a medium number of thousands of soldiers who were already in the early fight of Patmia. The cycles were overcome by the scalability of subjugation of the controversy, which in these satisfactions would be a matter of maximization and incitement of war, which had already exceeded the cabotage lines of the ships that did not disembark.