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"clacking" poems
My father walked me down the aisle, But my mother held my arm. He went with me, But we went not towards the altar, But towards the door. My father walked me down the aisle, And the ***** rang through the church, Humming through the elaborate crown molding, Carved by my ancestors. He went, Not beside me, But before me, And I watched, As he was illuminated by the bright, Overbearing, Texas sun. My father walked me down the aisle, But I did not wear white. My father walked me in silence, And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar, But for the one I would never see again. My father walked me down the aisle, And no veil obscured my face. All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty, Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow, Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes. My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother. She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly, Loudly, Unavoidably, And I carried her with one hand, My sister the other, And walked towards my future. A future family, Not one person more, But one person less. I walked, One final time, With him. My father walked me down the aisle, And I will never forget it. Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd, Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart, Blurred faces staring, Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church, The anguished wails of my mother, The whimpering of my sister, And the wooden box that glided before us, Pulling, A string tied to our patriarch, The pin key of our family, Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors. My father walked me down the aisle, Before I had a chance to grow up. He walked me, Out of the church, Away from the altar, Never to be walked again.
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Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 5:17 PM UTC
My Father Walked Me
My father walked me down the aisle, But my mother held my arm. He went with me, But we went not towards the altar, But towards the door. My father walked me down the aisle, And the ***** rang through the church, Humming through the elaborate crown molding, Carved by my ancestors. He went, Not beside me, But before me, And I watched, As he was illuminated by the bright, Overbearing, Texas sun. My father walked me down the aisle, But I did not wear white. My father walked me in silence, And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar, But for the one I would never see again. My father walked me down the aisle, And no veil obscured my face. All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty, Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow, Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes. My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother. She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly, Loudly, Unavoidably, And I carried her with one hand, My sister the other, And walked towards my future. A future family, Not one person more, But one person less. I walked, One final time, With him. My father walked me down the aisle, And I will never forget it. Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd, Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart, Blurred faces staring, Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church, The anguished wails of my mother, The whimpering of my sister, And the wooden box that glided before us, Pulling, A string tied to our patriarch, The pin key of our family, Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors. My father walked me down the aisle, Before I had a chance to grow up. He walked me, Out of the church, Away from the altar, Never to be walked again.
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58
I was going to write you something that embodied our love, some infinitesimal prose about your name click-clacking off of my tongue or your eyes when you're smiling. I was going to answer all of the questions that are silently ticking inside your mind and scrawl perfect prepositions across the page so that your hands might falter as they traced the corners. I wanted to tell you about the tug of your presence or the way that your fingerprints feel against mine, but I'm writing this instead, listing off the beauty that I feel seeping into my skin and it doesn't really make sense but that's just the way it falls onto the paper, bit by bit. sad things, serenade me. I'm only romanticizing the madness of it all. I never asked to be a ******* poet.
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Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012 at 10:10 PM UTC
romanticization of madness
My business is words. Words are like labels, or coins, or better, like swarming bees. I confess I am only broken by the sources of things; as if words were counted like dead bees in the attic, unbuckled from their yellow eyes and their dry wings. I must always forget how one word is able to pick out another, to manner another, until I have got something I might have said... but did not. Your business is watching my words. But I admit nothing. I work with my best, for instances, when I can write my praise for a nickel machine, that one night in Nevada: telling how the magic jackpot came clacking three bells out, over the lucky screen. But if you should say this is something it is not, then I grow weak, remembering how my hands felt funny and ridiculous and crowded with all the believing money.
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9.1k
Said The Poet To The Analyst
Blue Monday BY DIANE WAKOSKI Blue of the heaps of beads poured into her breasts and clacking together in her elbows; blue of the silk that covers lily-town at night; blue of her teeth that bite cold toast and shatter on the streets; blue of the dyed flower petals with gold stamens hanging like tongues over the fence of her dress at the opera/opals clasped under her lips and the moon breaking over her head a gush of blood-red lizards. Blue Monday. Monday at 3:00 and Monday at 5. Monday at 7:30 and Monday at 10:00. Monday passed under the rippling California fountain. Monday alone a shark in the cold blue waters. You are dead: wound round like a paisley shawl. I cannot shake you out of the sheets. Your name is still wedged in every corner of the sofa. Monday is the first of the week, and I think of you all week. I beg Monday not to come so that I will not think of you all week. You paint my body blue. On the balcony in the softy muddy night, you paint me with bat wings and the crystal the crystal the crystal the crystal in your arm cuts away the night, folds back ebony whale skin and my face, the blue of new rifles, and my neck, the blue of Egypt, and my ******* the blue of sand, and my arms, bass-blue, and my stomach, arsenic; there is electricity dripping from me like cream; there is love dripping from me I cannot use—like acacia or jacaranda—fallen blue and gold flowers, crushed into the street. Love passed me in a blue business suit and fedora. His glass cane, hollow and filled with sharks and whales ... He wore black patent leather shoes and had a mustache. His hair was so black it was almost blue. “Love,” I said. “I beg your pardon,” he said. “Mr. Love,” I said. “I beg your pardon,” he said. So I saw there was no use bothering him on the street Love passed me on the street in a blue business suit. He was a banker I could tell. So blue trains rush by in my sleep. Blue herons fly overhead. Blue paint cracks in my arteries and sends titanium floating into my bones. Blue liquid pours down my poisoned throat and blue veins rip open my breast. Blue daggers tip and are juggled on my palms. Blue death lives in my fingernails. If I could sing one last song with water bubbling through my lips I would sing with my throat torn open, the blue jugular spouting that black shadow pulse, and on my lips I would balance volcanic rock emptied out of my veins. At last my children strained out of my body. At last my blood solidified and tumbling into the ocean. It is blue. It is blue. It is blue.
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Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 7:31 AM UTC
Diane Wakowski
Blue Monday BY DIANE WAKOSKI Blue of the heaps of beads poured into her breasts and clacking together in her elbows; blue of the silk that covers lily-town at night; blue of her teeth that bite cold toast and shatter on the streets; blue of the dyed flower petals with gold stamens hanging like tongues over the fence of her dress at the opera/opals clasped under her lips and the moon breaking over her head a gush of blood-red lizards. Blue Monday. Monday at 3:00 and Monday at 5. Monday at 7:30 and Monday at 10:00. Monday passed under the rippling California fountain. Monday alone a shark in the cold blue waters. You are dead: wound round like a paisley shawl. I cannot shake you out of the sheets. Your name is still wedged in every corner of the sofa. Monday is the first of the week, and I think of you all week. I beg Monday not to come so that I will not think of you all week. You paint my body blue. On the balcony in the softy muddy night, you paint me with bat wings and the crystal the crystal the crystal the crystal in your arm cuts away the night, folds back ebony whale skin and my face, the blue of new rifles, and my neck, the blue of Egypt, and my ******* the blue of sand, and my arms, bass-blue, and my stomach, arsenic; there is electricity dripping from me like cream; there is love dripping from me I cannot use—like acacia or jacaranda—fallen blue and gold flowers, crushed into the street. Love passed me in a blue business suit and fedora. His glass cane, hollow and filled with sharks and whales ... He wore black patent leather shoes and had a mustache. His hair was so black it was almost blue. “Love,” I said. “I beg your pardon,” he said. “Mr. Love,” I said. “I beg your pardon,” he said. So I saw there was no use bothering him on the street Love passed me on the street in a blue business suit. He was a banker I could tell. So blue trains rush by in my sleep. Blue herons fly overhead. Blue paint cracks in my arteries and sends titanium floating into my bones. Blue liquid pours down my poisoned throat and blue veins rip open my breast. Blue daggers tip and are juggled on my palms. Blue death lives in my fingernails. If I could sing one last song with water bubbling through my lips I would sing with my throat torn open, the blue jugular spouting that black shadow pulse, and on my lips I would balance volcanic rock emptied out of my veins. At last my children strained out of my body. At last my blood solidified and tumbling into the ocean. It is blue. It is blue. It is blue.
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82
typewriter rhythm clacking away new beats tempo exchanges computer lab concerto fair-weather phonetics hunt and peck symphony symbolic of the system poking at inmates pecking at the enforcers attempting to gain an education -- floating above the ruckus offering research aid I sit at the desk seeking only to enlighten service work for those suffering servitude serfdom post-modern slavery complete with subsidies scamming the con-men -- white house looks best through prison barred windows
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Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 5:59 PM UTC
glimpse into my workday
I am up Awake Before the sun It's arrival Heralded by Colors creeping Out against The retreating night sky Do not mistake me For a morning person I do not relish this Nor do I mourn For sleep lost It could be   found But this is necessary Not without joy Not without sacrifice Without a word It simply is A ride My Fortress of Solitude For a mind Besieged By thought At war with Itself Do not retreat Into the past A ruthless place A heckling pace That tells you You cannot Hang on Give no portage To fate For you cannot grasp What the future holds Just Keep moving Focus This ride It is the only ride That matters I wrap myself In its tight fabric It's sounds Clicking and clacking Racing thoughts Shifting Centrifugal forces Sifting As I order Myself Ride As long as I pedal I am Present
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Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 6:49 AM UTC
Dawn patrol
My garden once was green and lush. Until on mass there came a mush of leaf munching slimy things. Vegetation annihilating thugs… …an invasion of Spanish Slugs. I’ve tried to stop them but I can’t. They’ve decimated every plant. In my shrubbery they dine like kings. Sombrero wearing baronets… …proudly clacking their castanets.
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Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:45 AM UTC
The - Spanish Slug - Invasion
The falling stars in this ironic night make majesties out of those cubicle-ridden New Yorkers' routine Tuesday night daydreams, where they make macabre escape routes out of every perfectly-placed window piercing the concrete sentences that escalate from Ground Zero. Your law offices, corporate ******* headquarters, are all bursting at the seams with these drones, the falling stars of the human race, all composed of 14 different shades of grayscale; could've been should've been could've been shootin' stars that year they were promised lives of upper middle class incomes and Lexus dealerships bought to dent their status on the neighborhood, but that sparkle's been emaciated by the truth, the underwhelming spectacle of realization accentuated by the clicking and the clacking of company keyboards, each little click gnawing more at their patience than the next; the faceless brush strokes gawk through that window, their plans less hypothetical over the calendar years. "I can hear it calling me from miles away," says Copy #90045280, "see, they SPEAK to me, man, tell me to transcend the hurdle of the windowsill and make my rendezvous with an asphalt avenue, to join the other casualties of this rut-infested nation in a life with the real stars, falling and shooting and jettisoning alike, throbbing lights through dark sky silk and into the hearts of even the most robotic of this catalog culture, and I frightfully, excitedly, must listen."
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Apr 29, 2010
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:53 AM UTC
Manhattan Astronomy
Circle's intentions. Time's intentions. Solace. Unity. A record of movement. How? Blood. Solidified. Shared separation, soon to shake hands, but in the mean time... scratching. clacking. crumbling. melting. Stories to tell, stories told. Ears to fill in the verbose silence. Science. Colors. Origins and reconciliations. And still, be still. The rocks will whisper Circle's intentions. Time's intentions.
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Jun 8, 2012
Jun 8, 2012 at 9:22 PM UTC
Rocks
Do not fall in love with a writer. They make a work of art out of words so elegantly you get lost to the point of no return. They create spells and lay them on white-painted sheets of paper, chanting letters attached carefully your eyes become so dizzy with amusement. They weave strings upon strings of enticing poetry you poison yourself the moment you find yourself drinking to the last drop. Do not fall in love with a writer. They appear almost like angels, serene and calm, yet at the same time a guise of what you would deem as a form of destruction planned out in detail you do not notice a thing about the pain they will cause you. They will carve in your veins the essence of a prose about loving you (oh, the irony of it), and make sure you bleed the same words they first bit you with. Do not fall in love with me. I will not think twice about writing the life I had when I'm with you. The crisp touch of your fingers with mine—the chapped nails and all that. The sweet singsong of your laugh echoing throughout the streets as we walked at half past five, anticipating the ray of the sun shining through to welcome another day. The scent of your breath as your lips danced slowly with mine. I will write all of these down, and you can never stop me. I will write and write and write about you, even if I run out of words to use, even if I grow tired of the sound of pen brushing paper or of fingers clacking keys; I will still continue to write about you. I still have and perhaps I always will, even if now, you decided to leave me.
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Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 8:01 AM UTC
Do Not Fall In Love With A Writer
Do not fall in love with a writer. They make a work of art out of words so elegantly you get lost to the point of no return. They create spells and lay them on white-painted sheets of paper, chanting letters attached carefully your eyes become so dizzy with amusement. They weave strings upon strings of enticing poetry you poison yourself the moment you find yourself drinking to the last drop. Do not fall in love with a writer. They appear almost like angels, serene and calm, yet at the same time a guise of what you would deem as a form of destruction planned out in detail you do not notice a thing about the pain they will cause you. They will carve in your veins the essence of a prose about loving you (oh, the irony of it), and make sure you bleed the same words they first bit you with. Do not fall in love with me. I will not think twice about writing the life I had when I'm with you. The crisp touch of your fingers with mine—the chapped nails and all that. The sweet singsong of your laugh echoing throughout the streets as we walked at half past five, anticipating the ray of the sun shining through to welcome another day. The scent of your breath as your lips danced slowly with mine. I will write all of these down, and you can never stop me. I will write and write and write about you, even if I run out of words to use, even if I grow tired of the sound of pen brushing paper or of fingers clacking keys; I will still continue to write about you. I still have and perhaps I always will, even if now, you decided to leave me.
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7
As I walk down these streets, I'm smiling the streets aren't slippery, they aren't riddled with puddles, the sky sits like a blanket, just resting on the top of the city As I draw in a deep breath of cold, crisp air I'm slapped in the face as it all comes crashing back with every click clack and scuff of my shoes on the street top it's as though my feet aren't mine they walk, and I have no say in where they go or how fast they move, or where they stop I know they think they're going to the market I know they think they'll walk the isles and I know they think they'll carry me to the checkout but unfortunately I know that although they are amazing feet and they've gotten me where I am today they will not pay the bill at the grocery store and their full time job as my carriers leaves no precious time for moonlighting so it's been left up to my soul it's will to survive is much stronger than the feet it knows that though I've done somethings somethings that hurt too much to allow them to turn into memories in my mind that scar, and brand and torment the soul injury after self inflicted injury that us two, we belong together that even though I may have sold you, dear soul to someone else for just enough money to pay the checkout clerk to fill my stomach, if only for one day to feed my demons, and steady my crutch you forgive me, for my survival is yours you know this pain I feel, for it's your pain too so when, dear soul tomorrow comes, and I always wake up, with that brief moment just before I allow my eyes to open where it's like staring at the sky, walking to the beat of my feet click clacking down the street as I feel the crisp air move into and fill my lungs and escape quickly a little warmer when nothing else in the world is in my mind you are there.
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Dec 4, 2010
Dec 4, 2010 at 6:47 PM UTC
soul mate
As I walk down these streets, I'm smiling the streets aren't slippery, they aren't riddled with puddles, the sky sits like a blanket, just resting on the top of the city As I draw in a deep breath of cold, crisp air I'm slapped in the face as it all comes crashing back with every click clack and scuff of my shoes on the street top it's as though my feet aren't mine they walk, and I have no say in where they go or how fast they move, or where they stop I know they think they're going to the market I know they think they'll walk the isles and I know they think they'll carry me to the checkout but unfortunately I know that although they are amazing feet and they've gotten me where I am today they will not pay the bill at the grocery store and their full time job as my carriers leaves no precious time for moonlighting so it's been left up to my soul it's will to survive is much stronger than the feet it knows that though I've done somethings somethings that hurt too much to allow them to turn into memories in my mind that scar, and brand and torment the soul injury after self inflicted injury that us two, we belong together that even though I may have sold you, dear soul to someone else for just enough money to pay the checkout clerk to fill my stomach, if only for one day to feed my demons, and steady my crutch you forgive me, for my survival is yours you know this pain I feel, for it's your pain too so when, dear soul tomorrow comes, and I always wake up, with that brief moment just before I allow my eyes to open where it's like staring at the sky, walking to the beat of my feet click clacking down the street as I feel the crisp air move into and fill my lungs and escape quickly a little warmer when nothing else in the world is in my mind you are there.
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48
so many loud yelps barking voices clacking at each other believing that their ignorance and unabashed rudeness will get results    hurray for the strong shouldered head held high who ignore such brazen brashness of the moronic    bravo to you that can stop an imbecile dead in his tracks by a stone cold even gazed eye meet eye stare   stopping the foolish without uttering a word.
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Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 6:31 PM UTC
intelligent confrontation
While My Guitar Gently Sleeps boogie woogie is on my mind my toe tapping a thousand times slapping snare and top hat crash back to sleep dreamy night fade away is it a festival of jazz marching by raz-ma-taz New Orleans style clarinet and trumpet and tuba blow blind melon singing do-dah do-dah-day Latin fever makes me thrash trying to remember the tricky steps the cha-cha of the island girls watching how the shapely hips sway Spanish marimba mambo twist taps clacking as the flamenco flies big box acoustic cat gut strings fingers twitching wanting to play square dance cowgirls and dudes strut thumbs in their pockets stomping boots fiddles and steel race through my heart gonna do it all do it all someday roll over and change the world another day dreamy night fade away once again screaming guitars in triple tones while my guitar gently sleeps away Gomer LePoet...
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May 22, 2013
May 22, 2013 at 3:45 PM UTC
While My Guitar Gently Sleeps
his frail form offers a salted tribute to the warriors lying dead and dying on and under his geta.  A thousand clacking sounds rise up into the stormy seas as these tiny samurai know defeat once again.
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Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 5:53 AM UTC
Death at Dan-no-Ura
***** clacking drinks pouring 8 ball in the early morning Breaks made ***** down another chance to win this round **Welcome to the Church Of All Angles**
0
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 10:12 AM UTC
Sunday Morning 8 Ball
Thumb and index. Snare with caution. To hold you firmly and into crocus  sack . Land crab beware. Hungry Belizeans on the hunt. The Blue land crab rises with the rain and fiddles forward seeking feed. Or flooded out from his cavern. The night brings silence then an eerie crashing and clacking by the hundred thousands they run. The season. when I was a boy. The art to catch the big one. Stalk and wait as he travels afar staking out territory. Cornered now in fighting stance back against the wall. a finger was the bet to get one by hand. The cowards choice was the coconut thong that fell from a dying tree. The Kiss-Kiss two feet long. The thong. That was my choice and into the boiling *** he goes. the cauldron bubbled with a few And maybe even crab stew. I still have ten fingers five a hand. The Kiss-Kiss my friend to the end. I was chicken but the blue crab went down the hole with ease. No worries. The coward's way out. Kiss -Kiss Rule.
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Nov 17, 2012
Nov 17, 2012 at 10:29 PM UTC
The Kiss-Kiss
Pocket full of clacking around benzodiazepines Xanax, Klonopin, and ****** Am I late for class? Am I late for work? Am I late for my own life? (truth)   Is this really any normal kind of respite or relaxation? Chemistry really has come a long way to introduce us to induced relaxation(?) pills. My Mr. Dr. says it should help with my anxiety, but it only seems to cloud me in my depravity: I steal, I lie, and I wake up naked in unknown bedrooms in unknown cities with unknown women. Who…did they steal my wallet? And where the **** are my car keys? Better yet, where in Allah’s name is my car? OH! Lord Jesus Christ OH! God of the Jews I cry out, Forgive me (lie) for I hath sinned. I suddenly want to do every drug (truth) ever made, you name it, I’ll try it, just this once, of course. I don’t have an addictive personality (lie) The Dr. says it is OK if I take 4mg of Xanax a day (truth), hence it must be safe (lie), right?  A Dr. can’t lie, can he? Wait! Where am I again? And, what are we doing here? Oh…that’s right, we are kids going nowhere (truth), how silly of me to forget. If this is Prozac Nation, then I am the ****** State. My governor is the late William Burroughs (lie) and my deputy is the late Kurt Cobain (lie). We are not in this for the fame (lie), a state run by the deceased. So, how dare you point a finger at me in blame. This is Drug Nation, America-home of the sedated and land of the overdose.
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May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 8:13 PM UTC
Prozac Nation (deceased truth living lies)
I never knew love before seeing him— a beauty under the southern night sky— as he danced, his strong body pliant and slim, to the tunes of a distant guitar. I never knew love before seeing him with his heels on the pavement click-clacking. As he flares his dress, goes to a spin, with a rose in his hair – he is striking. Each step, each clap – I am at his mercy. Each beat, each dance – he is all I can see. I'm lost, I'm in love, I'm down on my knee – each time I pray that he also sees me.
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Sep 28, 2021
Sep 28, 2021 at 11:09 PM UTC
I never knew love before seeing him
White, shining stone I want to lick Picking out what’s left of me grinding bones, grinding hearts during a restless night’s sleep Clacking together while they eat my every dream I want to **** the saliva off those pearly, white teeth
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Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012 at 5:38 PM UTC
Teeth
How many could be calling? Eitherwise, it is exausting To be held by own accountability. Ability for account; a mass Of those counted. Weigh creaks On these levers over my eyes. A lover in disguise lies The warmth of this weight. Lazy and laconic to confuse The schizophrenic. Lord I hope these are my own- If I myself am not the sovereign- Elaborate equations voiced From character calculations. Clacking their sums In my sincere consideration. We all have that second or so thought to reach concentric clarity. When I sing or spiel the art of it, easier to make a monster of me.
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Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013 at 5:43 AM UTC
Thoughtful
On the other side of the pumpkin patch there lies a narrow path. Just a dent in the woods it seems, until getting closer you can see The ground worn smooth by those who know to use it. A short, dimly lit way through the thick brush opens out And suddenly you find yourself on the gravelly bank of a railroad track. The track cuts a swath through the dense forest that leans over it As if jealous of the ground taken from its midst. In each direction the track finally loses itself in a tunnel of trees, Curving out of sight to reach some distant and unknown end. When the train comes through, robbing the woods of the solace of silence, I wonder where it’s bound, and how long it will take to get there. The rhythmic clacking of the wheels, the endless line of boxcars, The power and speed of the thing arrogantly announces itself to all-- Blind to any purpose or direction other than its own inarticulate need. As the trains moves out of sight, I look again at the empty track And wonder about the choices I have made.
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Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012 at 2:09 PM UTC
The Railroad Track
Coffee. Desk. Ringing phone. Clacking keys. This same pen. This same ******* pen, that writes the same way—there is a thinning of the ink in the curve of the E’s and the stroke of the Y’s Endless stapling. I find myself gritting my teeth every time as if I’m stapling my skin—or my hand. To my face. The window behind me offers the same view of the same skyline of the same ****** buildings! Overcast, sunny, slight drizzle or deluge— Doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but the rhythm of my heart That is no different from the rhythm of my day. I can’t even remember what happened yesterday. I just remember The coffee. The desk. The ringing phone. The clacking keys. At least this way, there’s no use fretting about tomorrow. Because tomorrow—it’ll be that same pen. That same pathetic pen. Sometimes, I want to cry. Cry for my wasted hours—days—life. Cry for those clouds in the horizon that looked no different from the same clouds in the same horizon yesterday. Cry for the slowly dulling reds and greens and purples in the canvas of this miserable life. Howl for the Wonders of the World, the Must Watch Movies Before You Die, the 1001 Books You Have to Read Before You’re Dead, that I will never get to savor. Grays and Blacks and Whites. So monochromatic. So very monotonous.                                                            At least, in the few nights that I dream…                                                                                              I dream in color.
0
Jul 12, 2013
Jul 12, 2013 at 1:59 AM UTC
Colorblind
Coffee. Desk. Ringing phone. Clacking keys. This same pen. This same ******* pen, that writes the same way—there is a thinning of the ink in the curve of the E’s and the stroke of the Y’s Endless stapling. I find myself gritting my teeth every time as if I’m stapling my skin—or my hand. To my face. The window behind me offers the same view of the same skyline of the same ****** buildings! Overcast, sunny, slight drizzle or deluge— Doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but the rhythm of my heart That is no different from the rhythm of my day. I can’t even remember what happened yesterday. I just remember The coffee. The desk. The ringing phone. The clacking keys. At least this way, there’s no use fretting about tomorrow. Because tomorrow—it’ll be that same pen. That same pathetic pen. Sometimes, I want to cry. Cry for my wasted hours—days—life. Cry for those clouds in the horizon that looked no different from the same clouds in the same horizon yesterday. Cry for the slowly dulling reds and greens and purples in the canvas of this miserable life. Howl for the Wonders of the World, the Must Watch Movies Before You Die, the 1001 Books You Have to Read Before You’re Dead, that I will never get to savor. Grays and Blacks and Whites. So monochromatic. So very monotonous.                                                            At least, in the few nights that I dream…                                                                                              I dream in color.
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29
I am walking on a trail I am uncertain of Reaching for the stars while hopelessly grasping for the ground underneath my broken feet I am touching your tears afraid that if I do not wipe them away you’ll wipe me away The thought of you in pain always makes me feel like throwing up Someone as precious as you should never understand what it means to be hopelessly alone while surrounded by people who love you I am afraid to understand the misery that lies beneath your more than somber smiles I’m following a journey written out to me by the government Spending money I don’t have Hopelessly aiming for a future where I can provide for you and help everyone who’s ever helped me This accumulative debt is a spark in my check book Ruining my finances but helping me achieve something greater than myself I could never write poems the way you write music And every time I look in the mirror I see a missing piece of me and I cannot find it no matter where I look I’m trying to find myself alongside you Afraid that you’ll be another to leave me behind and achieve grand things without me Even if I am a lowly writer Even if I am a hopeful poet Even if I am a hopeless person I need a sense of fulfillment to keep me alive I am a train and no one is filling my coal I have stopped on the tracks of life and I do not know which way to go There are storms rolling in and the thunder is so loud that I cannot hear myself scream My heart beats at an exponential rate and I no longer know if I want it to finally explode Or for it to just stop The clickity clacking of my fingers typing away on my keyboard is music So I am a musician just like you Only my instrument of choice is my growing vocabulary and my lyrics don’t always make sense But I am still walking Sometimes I run to a destination I’m certain doesn’t exist
0
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 6:18 PM UTC
Clickity Clack
I am walking on a trail I am uncertain of Reaching for the stars while hopelessly grasping for the ground underneath my broken feet I am touching your tears afraid that if I do not wipe them away you’ll wipe me away The thought of you in pain always makes me feel like throwing up Someone as precious as you should never understand what it means to be hopelessly alone while surrounded by people who love you I am afraid to understand the misery that lies beneath your more than somber smiles I’m following a journey written out to me by the government Spending money I don’t have Hopelessly aiming for a future where I can provide for you and help everyone who’s ever helped me This accumulative debt is a spark in my check book Ruining my finances but helping me achieve something greater than myself I could never write poems the way you write music And every time I look in the mirror I see a missing piece of me and I cannot find it no matter where I look I’m trying to find myself alongside you Afraid that you’ll be another to leave me behind and achieve grand things without me Even if I am a lowly writer Even if I am a hopeful poet Even if I am a hopeless person I need a sense of fulfillment to keep me alive I am a train and no one is filling my coal I have stopped on the tracks of life and I do not know which way to go There are storms rolling in and the thunder is so loud that I cannot hear myself scream My heart beats at an exponential rate and I no longer know if I want it to finally explode Or for it to just stop The clickity clacking of my fingers typing away on my keyboard is music So I am a musician just like you Only my instrument of choice is my growing vocabulary and my lyrics don’t always make sense But I am still walking Sometimes I run to a destination I’m certain doesn’t exist
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I was the jubilee runner You were the southbank stroller Carried away in your hair I turn to see you turn, To turn my steps into Paused awkwardness On the platform to my Heart you stood, standing Me still dead in my tracks You were April’s showers Raining down on my grey Metro , the girl outside Waterloo station, The one sharing my Thoughts unspoken Watershed second I was London’s haze Set adrift in your eyes Parted, but closed around Your boho-chic attired Kohl hairedness I see you Southbank bound In my eyes forever Open note to the Sky you set me adrift In, in that shy second You were I, were we, Were us, less them All we, paused in the throng Framed in my clickety Clacking jubilee my Train-track love Story, I was the jubilee Runner to your Southbank stroller
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Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 12:13 PM UTC
Train-track Love
Hop hopeless off the L searching for hell "works" "works" "subs" "subs" "Bars" "Bars" "Xanny Bars" The Avenue Chant Howl the diseased infected addicted **** The Avenue Chant an open drug bazaar is a beautiful thing for one playing the beautiful ***** Requiem for a Nightmare You ask what I need knowing what I want Hop down the corner You know the best spot they got the fire I got a house to burn You ask, can I get one? I think in first person with a laugh perhaps I would give you a leg for one I see you could use it We keep walking you keep limp, limp, limping down.... Cambria Crutches clacking off the littered decaying pavement The boys are out in town (when aren't they) the block is hot (as always) I wait around the corner You do my ***** business Our ***** business Everyones ***** business You swing back, deed done, dirt in hand awwww yeahhhhh the stamp is cobra I remember this **** mm. this **** is good The printed snake swims up and out siphoned from a tiny baby blue bag cleansing all insecurities, all fear, all humanity. We limp along You tell me how you ended up on these streets wife kicked you out, job fired you, veterans insurance cut you. The American dream as it looks, on Kensington streets, circa2013 etc. etc. etc I feel bad, but, not really, emotional skeleton, Numbed. I leave you with some rocks, not much, then go off kicking rocks all the way Redrocks H>O<W long can I continue without being caught in crosstalk. A skinny white privileged boy from the suburbs seeing his future trotting away before his eyes The everlasting haunting crouching limping creature of death A rotten old one legged ......junk Y
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May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 7:05 PM UTC
one legged *****
Hop hopeless off the L searching for hell "works" "works" "subs" "subs" "Bars" "Bars" "Xanny Bars" The Avenue Chant Howl the diseased infected addicted **** The Avenue Chant an open drug bazaar is a beautiful thing for one playing the beautiful ***** Requiem for a Nightmare You ask what I need knowing what I want Hop down the corner You know the best spot they got the fire I got a house to burn You ask, can I get one? I think in first person with a laugh perhaps I would give you a leg for one I see you could use it We keep walking you keep limp, limp, limping down.... Cambria Crutches clacking off the littered decaying pavement The boys are out in town (when aren't they) the block is hot (as always) I wait around the corner You do my ***** business Our ***** business Everyones ***** business You swing back, deed done, dirt in hand awwww yeahhhhh the stamp is cobra I remember this **** mm. this **** is good The printed snake swims up and out siphoned from a tiny baby blue bag cleansing all insecurities, all fear, all humanity. We limp along You tell me how you ended up on these streets wife kicked you out, job fired you, veterans insurance cut you. The American dream as it looks, on Kensington streets, circa2013 etc. etc. etc I feel bad, but, not really, emotional skeleton, Numbed. I leave you with some rocks, not much, then go off kicking rocks all the way Redrocks H>O<W long can I continue without being caught in crosstalk. A skinny white privileged boy from the suburbs seeing his future trotting away before his eyes The everlasting haunting crouching limping creature of death A rotten old one legged ......junk Y
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