"cipralex" poems
We live in a superficial world
of shattered identities
and
a loss of reality
my senses are
Numb
We do not know what it is to feel :
anything
sadness
has died
in cipralex
anxiety
has drowned
in clonazepam
my cheap, glass arm
was about to break
in the basement of a house
that i tried so hard to call home
I am
utter
sheer
nonsense
we will live together,
and I,
I will die alone
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 1:14 PM UTC
I'm not the kind of girl
who writes love poems
and I'm far from romantic
my two moods fall between
depressed and manic
I'm not charismatic
I'm far too sarcastic
and just from one ****
I can snap like elastic.
But no one has ever
been strong enough to
pull apart the barriers
that cover my heart
quite like you do,
and I know you
hate your smile
but my god
I have never seen
a face light up so much
with just the movement
of a muscle.
Tousled hair
of black and blonde
I am so fond of the way
you say my name
like it isn't something to
be ashamed of.
Like somehow,
I'm more than the sum
of my parts.
Like somehow,
I'm not just a canvas
but art.
I'm not the kind of girl
who writes love poems
but there's something about
your eyes of blue
and the way you flew
into my life
like a falling star,
slowly
then crashing
all at once
finding its way into the
dark crevice of my heart
that was nearly torn apart
but you picked up the pieces
and bandaged me together again.
And this might sound zany
but even just one night alone
makes me miss you like crazy
because when I'm with you
my mind goes all hazy
and I'm convinced
in that moment
that everything will be okay
because you are not just
a boy to me
you lessen my depression
you calm my anxiety
I'd throw away my variety
of pills just to be in your
arms forever
Elavil, Cipralex, Zoloft
are just names
and they hold nothing to you
because you are my
perfect dose of serotonin.
You said,
"I like you more than poetry"
but my words are broken vocal chords
that never should be spoken
yet when I'm with you,
the poet is awoken.
Ballads and rhymes
will fill my mind
but no matter how hard I try,
nothing I write
is worthy of you.
The most beautiful
man I know,
the most beautiful
man I ever knew.
And I say,
cut off the strings,
you marionette.
Free yourself from the
binding chains
that control your every move,
fly. Sing me a song,
you gorgeous violin.
Tear away the
thoughts from your mind
that are constantly
telling you that
you are not good enough
because my darling,
you will always be
good enough for me.
You said,
"I like you more than poetry"
and I'm not the kind of girl
who writes love poems
but I will say that poetry
is nothing without the poet.
And my god,
I ******* love the poet.
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 1:16 AM UTC
be the cigarette that lets the Manchurian
candidate wear your socks to a job interview
because his are all piled in the corner of his
bedroom like a group of dead Kennedy's... bad
thought will never take you home again. the
good is found beyond your comfort zone, so
ride the waves, captain cherokee! *and when
the invisible hand of graduality cleaves you
from my marrow, there is nothing but the irk
of a waterfall beyond my cheek-bone, dripping
from the red corners of his chapped lips,
bleeding in the autumnal creek of Octoberish
winterfreeze*
the poem ended where it did, as my inspiration
faded into caffeine insanity and the cipralex kept
me MDMA'd to the glowing grave.
beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful ! ! !
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 4:26 PM UTC
**** on my nose and question the ethereal depth of my love for Dark Matter.. the beer and the cosmic phenomenon. Ask me why you think we should love one another in the darkest prison, laughing at the ghosts, scoffing at the shadows, screaming in delight: 'depersonalized madness can't hear me now!'
Your pupils are dilated with panic. Too much coffee, you addicted, raging barista-wannabe. Too much indication that the owl whooting WHO is asking, 'who?' Or making reference to the World Health Organization and the spread of Ebola across the western sub-sahara SHUT THE **** UP, OWL, I DON'T WANT TO CONSIDER WHAT ITS LIKE TO BLEED OUT THE EYES.
Drifting along in life, driftwood getting paid to drift along as long as it can stay a bit past nine and help the boss close up shop. Dressing all indifferent as if black Urban Planet pants that require a lint roller are worth the $20 they charged or if the polo shirt you wear was really worth the 80 you spent recklessly when a previous boss hinted you'd breached dress code by showing up shirtless on the very first day.. you ate nothing but Mr Noodles and bruised apples for a week just to help a CEO make bonus on his margins and afford the violent takeover of Exxon Mobile.
SCREECH AND SCREAM LIKE THE RAGING TINNITUS YOU TRY TO DROWN OUT WITH STRANGE SPACE MUSIC from spheric-lounge. Is depression all that bad if cipralex makes your jaw clench as if it were overdosed MDMA? Perhaps I'll feel well on Welbutrin, smell putrid, feel stupid, noticed that my love life is just another betrayal by a loopy cupid, my Lawd.
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014 at 8:13 PM UTC
At first I was a little effexor,
though my pulse hurried to get cipralex.
My dreams were ****** and clonex,
so trazodone I could barely feel my fingertips,
yet zodorm enough to wake up in a cuckoo's nest.
Pulling me out of my psychiatric diagnosis
was never as easy as pulling me out of my morals
and clothes.
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014 at 11:21 AM UTC
cipralex pulsates thru veins,
dilutes blood to make me happ
-hey! legs seize in weird ache
- - dreamless sleeps where I
may not even be sleeping - -
wake up exhausted - - but basis
energy covered! so day survival
possible - - sometimes combination
of coffee + cip (cip of coffee)
cause tremors - - moments of 'ahhhgg'
panic attack redirected to calm productivity
- - day 5? since prescribed - - they say
2 to 6 weeks. I'll be patient.
Aug 23, 2013
Aug 23, 2013 at 12:49 PM UTC
Cipralex
Pop three whenever you notice
The oozing and bubbling skin
On your arms in the morning
From being too close to hell
In one evening
Side effects may include
Yawning every 5 seconds
Not due to boredom or tiredness
Light headedness
From the lack of food you now realize you have yet to eat
May result in abuse of medication
Due to not wanting to feel numb constantly
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 3:30 AM UTC
i feel confused
i feel the thoughts running like a great wave
i see things that nobody can see
my brain consumes my body
like the tiger consumes its pray
its hunting me down and making my life hell
i am hearing voices that pierces my ears
makes me fall in a dark alley that i can't even scream
get out of my head stop controlling my thought.
i need a cipralex medicine to calm me down
although that maybe no use when my imaginary demon
cuts me limb from limb
through me to the sharks and make me wimp
this dark room i am in has no light within
i will keep fading in its darkness til the bitter end
nothing can save me nothing ever will
not even a psychiatrist with the greatest skill
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 2:57 PM UTC
My mind is maddening
stuck in daydreams so vivid
I'm in a room full of people but I'm
headed for the kitchen
grabbing a knife and rope
to sink my boat
While kids stare on no one the wiser
that this girls no longer afloat
legal meds lock me in this box
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 8:17 PM UTC
I caught you star gazing last night
You were staring at the ceiling with your eyes full of sprinkles as your body melted into the floor.
I watched your tears fall into to puddles of open clusters,
And the rhythm of your heart beat to the heat of the sun.
I watched your fingers turn to galaxy’s and your hair mold into the earth to become roots thirsty for knowledge from a well of an insomniacs early morning dreams
But these open clusters become disrupted over time,
by the gravitational influence of molecular clouds.
I can feel them pulling at you.
And you let them drown you into the sea.
It is hypothesized that people like you are made of dust,
Drifters and wanderers full of acid and dope but baby,
I see much more.
Looking through spectacles composed of the ocean floor I see fish swimming through your veins and coal reefs in your ears blocking the airflow from coming in.
I see doctors and lawyers prescribing you pills to keep the love you thought was real from failing and I see great white sharks to swallow your pain with Prozac and Cipralex.
You know the effects of smoking,
and the pollution to the forest in your lungs but you breathe in the chemicals because were programmed for rat poison to make us feel alive.
You crave sunsets.
But through prescriptions and sleeping pills I see the 95% of the ocean that has not yet been explored and I see crystals forming in the pit of your eyes and I want to tell you that not all tears are worthless and not all paintings are pointless and I see the beauty in dandelions that some people call weeds.
I see the evil in rose petals and the delicacy in the thorns
and I see the world through eyes that refused to be hazed by politics and religion and the opinions of store clerks when you ask for a lottery ticket with a 20 dollar bill in hand because you hold on to the hope that something will happen and God will reward you for all you’ve done good with a bundle of money and stained glass windows complete with marble floors.
You hide away your **** rugs collected from japan and feel the wooden floor, scraping each fingernail and crying dark amethyst as your falling to your knees to get closer to hell in order to pray for heaven.
I turn so I can leave you to gazing,
Then I hear you draw a breath,
You turn to look at me with starfish covering your cheeks and your knuckles branded with scratches from pounding on great metal doors until they set you free.
I see a universe in you.
I see the roots in your hair,
and the sprinkles in your eyes.
I see the coal reefs in your ears,
and the forest in your lungs.
I see the 95% of the ocean that has yet to be explored.
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 7:35 PM UTC
It's been a while
Since I've spent so much time with the night
It's dark arms
Wrapped around me
It's awful jaws
Whispering the past
So many burdens
I've been
To so many people
I used to feel sad
I miss it
Now I only feel guilt
They want me to feel numb
Shove divalproec down my throat and
Wash it down with cipralex
They're calling it a disease
But I feel like I already am one
Apr 12, 2013
Apr 12, 2013 at 3:16 AM UTC
most people are prescribed medicine when they're upset,
but i never obliged.
why let something else control you?
why not try to get stronger rather than paying for stronger doses?
i never took my Cipralex because i know it just makes it all worse.
you're still faking a smile if it's only there because of prescriptions.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 12:16 AM UTC
Clinically depressed
the clinic's a frickin mess
clinician's under stress
popping patients' cipralex
at her dinky off-white desk
still wearing last night's dress
reminiscing on the days
when she just tried her best
Head won't give it a rest
wishing she'd failed the test
could have been an insta queen
at least got in on the tiktok scene
instead she feels bereft of the chance
to take a breath
She'd rather take a slap
than see another fat smackhead
but she has to pay the rent or
start living in a tent
"It's a living"
that's her mantra
written on the pens
and every one they send
is another couple cents
So she just pretends that
what she does makes sense
punters in
prescriptions out
no time to make amends
patience measured in pence
she can potentially spend
perpetuating searches for
that promised happy end
Jul 16, 2024
Jul 16, 2024 at 11:45 PM UTC