"cholesterol" poems
Tuwing nalalapit na ang pasko, darating si itay mula sa kanyang opisina na may dalang kahon. Ang kahon ay naglalaman ng hamon. Ang hamon na mutlong taun-taon na lang sumusulpot. Ito yung hamon na hindi na pinapansin ng karamihan kasi lagi na lang andyan. Pabulong na sasabihin nila, "Ay sus. Pwedeng iba naman?" pero dahil nga sa nakasanayan na, ang hamon ay mananatiling nariyan kahit nilalampasan.
Lilipas ang selebrasyon at mag-uuwian ang mga bisita. Mananatili ang hamon na wala man lang gumalaw. Naubos ang macaroni salad, graham, kahit ang kaldereta ngunit ang hamon ay nanatiling tahimik, mistulang kawawang bida sa isang maaksyong pelikula.
Taun-taon, sasabihin ni inay na bakit hindi na lang ipamigay? At taun-taon akong hihindi at sasabihing sayang.
Hindi ko naman paborito ang hamon. Sadyang ayoko lang sayangin ang lahat ng nakahain. Kaya't kahit paulit-ulit, kahit nakakasawa, kahit minsan gusto ko na lang ipamigay, pilit ko pa ring kakainin ang bawat hamon na nakahain. Pilit ko pa ring lalasapin ang cholesterol, magpapataba, magpapakatanga, magsasawa hanggat sa maubos.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016 at 1:37 AM UTC
1. De-Colonize This Space
Drum circle protests genderplop demands
Indigenous discount store camouflage
We demand persistent stereotypes
Solidarity initiative project
Take back the people’s cultural statues
Ethnographic curatorial practices
Red spray paint fire imperialism
Repatriate the Iphone Starbuck’s cups
And don’t forget the “Hey! Hey! ** **
Because we’re, like, artists and stuff, you know?
2. De-Colonize This Space Too
Guns and cholesterol made America great
Fat white boys in discount store camouflage
Duct-tape the Bible and the border wall
We won our freedom with our Kalashnikovs
Fake news back-stabber not a war hero
SecondAmendmentSecondAmendment
Lock her up get ‘em outta here yuge deal
You RINO losers can grab my MAGA
You snowflakes are sissies, you millennials too
But ouch! my heel spurs hurt, oh boo-hoo-hoo!
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 11, 2018 at 3:02 PM UTC
To future conquering civilizations
in galaxies far far away . . .
don't worry about polluting the air,
our smokestacks have shot dirty-bombs
into the clouds for centuries,
mixing rain drops with the
black grime of industrialization,
transforming our children's tears
into cesspools of sulfuric acid and ddt.
We've also drained the bayous and swamps
and between you and me
don't even bother landing in Africa
there isn't suitable drinking water
for miles, you see.
You can thank years of colonization for that.
In fact, you may not want to land
on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Thursdays
in LA either-
on those days the air quality index
is 175 and far too unhealthy for any
biological organism to survive.
But at least you won't die of malnutrition
you've got decisions:
McDonald's or Burger King
choose
cholesterol and diabetes are your shock troops.
Send them in immediately,
there won't be much resistance
we've got these things call lazy boys
and daytime t.v which have
enslaved the population and decreased
the distance
between fully functioning
human beings and mindless apes.
Don't worry about bringing weapons
we've got those too
we've perfected the art of blowing each other away
there's not much for you to do.
we destroy cities with fire from the sky
and our mushroom clouds rise
at least ten miles high.
And god can't see, there's too much smoke
in his eyes
and our radiated children die
with radiated sighs.
While we are on the topic
don't worry about us spreading
propaganda
we've lost the ability to communicate.
We've learned
books turn a peculiar dark yellow
when lighted and burned.
And forget erasing history,
we've done that too.
Our subjugation of native peoples
is masked as 'patriotism'
under the red, white, and blue.
But don't get me wrong,
I tell you all
of this not to dissuade,
please come and attack,
please come and invade.
Here, I'll even turn
on the lights . . .
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 9:06 PM UTC
such a greasy pan.
mornin' bacon sizzlin' - our
cholesterol high.
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 6:15 PM UTC
when i look
in the mirror,
i do not see the
“oh my god, you’re so skinny,”
i do not see the
“you need to eat more,”
not the
“there’s no way you’re not anorexic,”
not the
“i wish my body looked like yours.”
when i look
in the mirror,
i see the
“you’re fat,”
i see the
“she’s skinnier than you,”
i see the
“you need to be skinny, or you won’t get a husband,”
i see the
“eat less,”
i see the
"you need to be the skinniest one in your friend group,"
i see the
trans fat
saturated fat
cholesterol
sodium
dietary fiber
sugar
protein
Calorie Count.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 4:32 PM UTC
*Love is cholesterol in the heart,
sugar in the blood.*
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 8:49 PM UTC
"i don't wanna have to be the one to tell you this,
but you're no foodie; you're just a ******
who's too cowardly to take an honest look at yourself.
It's okay to be whatever you want,
just don't lie to yourself proclaiming to be a foodie
to justify late-night trips to Jack in the Box four days a week,
or eating a whole jar of Tostitos 'Salsa con Queso' every two days.
Are you trying to mummify yourself with all those preservatives?
Y'know,
just because you blow most of your paychecks
on gasoline, **** food and overpriced coffee
pulled to the most pretentious of standards
doesn't at all begin to mean that you've got any class, taste, or style,
let alone that you're a foodie.
At least recycle all the paper products your pseudofood comes in.
Moreover, your thighs aren't ******* gluten,
they're all that other junk you eat habitually
while watching your oh-so-edified selection of films
before sleeping it off until 3 in the afternoon.
No wonder you're so full of ****
you are what you eat, I suppose.
Pull your head on out your ***
All that fat and cholesterol isn't for the faint of heart."
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 1:38 PM UTC
Monday
Why?
Can I rename you
You have lurked since Friday
Spoiling the fun
Friday!
Now there's a day
Not enough of them
Well bacon butty time
That will raise a smile
And my cholesterol
Sod my diet
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013 at 5:29 AM UTC
Well the doctor told me I was out tears ?
The doctors told me I would never sweat again ?
I am 10 lbs UNDER weight & will never gain it back ?
I won't regain a lot of lost muscle ,so I won't be able to lift 200lbs again ?
My appetite is 1/2 what it has been my whole life?
My blood ,heart,other parts ,fat,cholesterol etc. are as good as a teenagers?
My credit will straighten back out this yr.:)
I think the cost savings in KLEENEX,DEODORANT,FOOD, & then knowing I can't lift means my back won't hurt,saves ON CHIROPRACTORS and PAIN KILLERS :)
Plain food tastes "fine" now I can sell off my cookbook & kitchen junk collection:)
I have missed out 30 yrs of junk food , I might as well go for it now :)
with that cost saving and a small loan I can pay off another house & paint it PINK just to freak the neighbors out :):)
Hey I am "POSITIVE" that is a good side to be on :) R.C.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 7:44 PM UTC
Allegiance
Hot biscuit of cheesy pleasure
come hither
I shall greet you with parted lips,
lust apparent in every cell.
don't shy away-
for you are mine alone
to savor ,
this achingly empty basket
soon awaits my
lonely countenance.
***************************************************************
Laine G and I shared a common love of Red Lobster cheese biscuits , after a visit to the doctor , my friend was told her cholesterol was too high, and she would have to cut way back - I wrote this for her :
*******************************************************************************
Sworn Enemy
Cheese- riddled biscuit denial
discs from Hell
demand my unwavering allegiance
no more
for only in my dreams
are you innocent.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 1:17 PM UTC
I see the commercials
for osteoarthritis.
And mentally curse this age of awareness
Where we, the audience
are forced to see our frail mortality . . .
One in three! ONE IN THREE!
Mocks the voice on T.V.
And suddenly my chest fills
with invisible cancers
cholesterol, and tumors
While diabetes races through my veines.
I stagger from the room.
Joints now rusted with a touch of arthritis.
My breath wheezes from the asthma
I never had until this moment.
My arteries harden like boa constrictors.
And I fall to the floor - breaking a hip as I go down.
My memory fades under Alzheimer's wrath.
While glaucoma darkens my vision.
And ravaging Obesity, consumes my soul.
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 2, 2013 at 2:22 AM UTC
your brain is obese
it's 60 percent fat
and a quarter of that mess
is cholesterol - and that's bad
like everyone's brain
although I have to ad
mine is 40 percent lean
so I can sell you my diet
of raw fish.. lentils.. beans
and the wisdom of this poet
on his fast track brain train
a thin title to start...
“How Can I Be So Mean?”
Aug 2, 2014
Aug 2, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
Walking is the king of exercises
It suits different age groups
And is useful for both genders
Its results are unbelievable wonders
Walk for five kilometers a day
And keeps the doctor away
You need not run like a race
But can walk at your own pace
Walking relieves your hypertension
And keeps your heart in good condition
It is a must for a diabetic
And is possible for a paralytic
It improves your vitality
And enhances your longevity
You can walk preferably in the morning
Or at least in the evening
Walking removes your bad cholesterol
And saves the consumption of petrol
Why do you eat carcinogenic fast foods in a pub?
Why don’t you join a walkers’ club?
Dec 29, 2010
Dec 29, 2010 at 10:24 PM UTC
"Don't drink that coffee," my friend shouted at me,
"That caffeine will **** you!"
he said impatiently!
Drinking water is bad for your health,
the feds put fluorine in it
to **** you by stealth."
Paternally he whispered,
"Whatever you do, don't drink cows' milk.
the sucklings its made for
aren't close to our ilk.
The consumption of pigs and animals that ****
most certainly will keep you
from obtaining sweet bliss.
And stay away from creatures that swim in the sea,
their svelte tasty bodies are filled
with deadly mercury."
And then he looked aghast at my plate,
"Tell me you're not eating that excrement," he sighed,
"Do you really want to die...
from eating french fries?
Don't you know that fried things are the scourge of the planet,
cooked in hydrogenated fats by
some woman named Janet?
Avoid eggs, if you can, and by no means eat the yolks,
your cholesterol will rise,
that's no funny joke."
Then, with a scowl in his voice he said,
"Avoid plants grown in this country,
sprayed with pesticides and poisons
by corporate monkeys.
And stay away from foods grown in the East,
they're probably fertilized by
humans, dragons and beasts.
Potatoes, tomatoes have starch and acid,
that eats up your guts and
make you grow flaccid.
Lemons and limes will ruin your pretty white teeth,
making you go snaggle
right in your sleep."
With a superior air he ended his harangue,
"Beer, wine, and all forms of liquor,
Can you think of anything that
will **** you quicker?
Don't eat rich chocolate--it'll make you a ****
humping everything in sight
like a mad deer in rut.
Cakes, breads and cookies too,
contain sugars and flours that's
sooooo baaaaad for you.
~~~
I'm hungry and starving and don't know what to do,
I want to eat something
but afraid to give it a chew.
Though all of this leaves me feeling quite uneasy and queasy,
I'm closing the door and
doing as I pleasey!
Jul 19, 2010
Jul 19, 2010 at 7:58 AM UTC
now just an oil slick
on the road you took
South
just a bare scraping
on your toast
in the morning
avoiding
Cholesterol levels
from invading
your mouth
just a small piece
of tissue paper
upon your chin
because the cut
bled...
RED
but not enough
to waste
a whole square
of toilet paper
that might have been
useful
for your overloaded
********
Where all this **** begins
and ends
*spread so thin
only able to dab
at the blood spilt,
unable to wipe
the crap from
your chin*
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 29, 2014 at 5:51 AM UTC
Who gives a ****
so I wrote another winer, boo hoo you twit
think anyone cares, just who gives a ****
I am just a grain, of sand in the wind
my pain is nothing and the horned one just grinned
yeah so now I'm bitter, my attitude *****
I'd kick your *** for a lousy 5 bucks
its only a flesh wound I've certainly had wurse
I'm a wineing ****** I'll hit you with my purse
got pains in my arms, and I'm a pain in the ***
had Taco Bell for dinner, and now I got gas
my stomach is rumbling, think I'm sick just a bit
why don't you tell me now, just who gives a ****
the Dow is down, my pressure is high
cholesterol is big, can't eat no sweet pie
I'm a no good *** full of vinegar and spit
do you really think, anyone gives a royal ****
at least they finally plugged, the leaking of oil
that's what they claim, sing for me Susan Boyle
the problem with peaches, in the middle is a pit
if I choked on one now, just who would give a ****
yes I've had me some wine, and I'm a pathetic dude
my mouth can get foul, yes I can be crude
wonder what it would be like, to be Brad Pitt
I guess one is enough, like who gives a ****
tomorrow is Monday, so glad I don't work
in customer service or a grocery clerk
listen to ******* about the service they get
c'mon now, you think I give a shit
I could probably rant, for more than theirs time
the jaws flapping on, my hands covered in grime
this year's British Open, no Americans seemed fit
it's all over now, and really no one gives a shit...
Gomer Lepoet...
Jul 18, 2010
Jul 18, 2010 at 9:52 PM UTC
Met an old friend A
He says women are the greatest vocabulary
AWESOME , AMAZING , ARDENT, ARDAMANT
And Look what B has to say
BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT, BODACIOUS most women are
CHARMING, CALM, CAUTIOUS, COURTEOUS
Women are THE FINEST DIAMONDS in the sky
Complements D, DASHING, DEAR, and DILIGENT to be exact
EASTERN ELEGANCE, Western ELITES
ENERGETIC, ELEGANT, EMOTIONAL
E is right women are EXTRAORDINARY
FLAMBOYANT, FUN, FUNNY, FANTASTIC F says
Women are central FIGURE of FAMILY
G- GREAT, GRACEFUL, GENTLE
H- HAPPY, HELPFUL, HANDY
INTERESTINGLY some women are IMPATIENT
JOYFUL they are, K- head of KISSES
LOVING, LOVEABLE
MARVELOUS symbol of MODESTY
NEAT, NOBLE and very NICE
Women are pretty ORNAMENT
women are PRICELESS PRINCESS
Women are QUEEN
Women are RARE gift
main source of SURVIVAL the human being
women have true spirits of love
women are a peaceful UMBRELLA
women are the VALLEY of love
women are WONDERFUL WATER,
women are XOXO
women are egg YOLK, bad cholesterol but you eat THEM
last but not least
ZEALOUS women have great ZEAL
May 21, 2013
May 21, 2013 at 9:39 AM UTC
I ate a drumstick
And thought of your love
Thick, juicy, and the cause of high cholesterol.
Then, I ate a cupcake
And thought of your best-friend
Sweet, Soft, and good when I take a bite.
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 8:58 PM UTC
She walks ahead, then gives me a lazy grin,
She talks about her problems as if the world momentarily dimmed.
She tries to throw jokes even if she knows it's corny,
She loves to eat fried foods with a lot of gravy.
She looks forward seeing the latest chick flick movies.
she loves buying sweets and her i-know-what-you-want goodies.
she does not know that from a distance I am observing,
She is my kryptonite, I can't stop falling.
He is my so-called superman, Always a hero,
He secretly observes my movements, even my shadow.
He always wanted coffee, a kreme, and and iced filled choco,
He parks his head on movies, going loco!
He is getting fat, too much cholesterol and less exercise lately,
He used to give punchlines that are very gay and funny!
He does not share much of his problems until it's under control,
He imposed tips on work-life balance and money saving protocol.
Nov 11, 2010
Nov 11, 2010 at 1:01 AM UTC
The academy of hungry men
opens for business
only when
the night draws in.
The night is time for being thin,
Cholesterol is fat and won't get in.
I have a tin of boneless ham
A rich man me, in the academy and
where hungry men would hunger on,
I'd eat the ham
and then be gone.
No fees to pay
and words cost just enough to widen out
the mouth, which then tightens up a belt to say,
the academy is not a place to play.
The gravy train left on the boat or so the
hungry man in ragged coat
informs me.
Clever men in the academy
not me,
I'm just passing through and
on the way to something new but
the night drew in and
so I took a pew and with a pewter spoon
spooned up some watery stew,
it's what they do and when, in
the academy of hungry men.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 2:48 AM UTC
Lol Failure
Too much time to change your mind on the way down. Plus your scared of heights
Bandages and shoe laces stop that **** hide it with tattoos on the wrist
Too violent, big mess, GSW fail now a vegetable and someone's burden
A lynching? Quit it! KKK gets no favors
Peace and quiet in the car, garage door closed. Then your favorite song comes on. Took too long after all. Don't you drive a prius?
Like you don't know how to swim. Sharks don't live in lakes
Nissan, lexus, most new GMC all have auto detection braking. Get back on the side walk dummy.
Too high of a tolerance you druggy and every Corner has an ER. Now your on the list with diarrhea
Police knows the world is watching they'll pepper spray before they draw now. Now your blind and got your *** whipped with a. Night stick
Honey? Bears? Really?
Circuit breakers homie! Now you have soggy toast.
Smile and shovel the pastries maybe you'll get lucky and cholesterol will stop ya.
Insensitive? Yes,but none the less,
Guess That's my LOL Failure.
-Xin-
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 12:02 PM UTC
on the table sat
a lone cream bun
everyone at the party
did of it shun
they were cautious
not to be tempted by it
as it contained
a huge cholesterol hit
the attendees
at the party
were a health conscious crew
and didn't wish
to be caught up
in an arterial blocking slew
so the bun
ne'er got eaten
a mold grew on it
as all those
at the party
wanted their hearts
to stay ever fit
but exercising
a little moderation
in what is ingested into the tummy
would have allowed
a little cholesterol
which is ever so yummy
how sad the party day
was for the cream bun
everyone felt the need
to exclude its tasty fun
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 6:20 AM UTC
I don’t care about the set of patients with high blood pressure
Or finding the number of people who did not have exactly two of the indications listed: patients with high blood pressure, patients with high cholesterol, or patients who smoke cigarettes.
I couldn’t careless that three circles make up this (venn)-diagram
And that you must start in the center,
Nothing good will come from me knowing that 46 people have high cholesterol when I don’t even know how to fix them. They’re all made up anyway.
I won’t obtain anything from sitting in a cold classroom, listening to a student hack up his lungs because he’s over 50 and still threading smoke through his lungs; he probably has all three problems.
All I do is poke and **** at time that moves so slowly
And exchange ideas with my fingers, ignoring calculator instructions and written kindergarten numbers
Hoping the day stays young and my eyes stay open
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013 at 4:04 PM UTC
Late breakfast in the cafe of sins,
The one where all the calories hang out,
Cholesterol climbs up the tasty mountain,
Counting the calories that pile onto her voluptuous waist,
Like hell she did.
A devious mischievous taste.
She nibbles at mushrooms, just like Alice did,
The sliced up sausages chucked on to her plate,
Taste real great,
The beans as much too freaking hot.
The eggs are runny, just like snot, but that's how she likes them,
The bacon squealed, as it jumped from her plate, wrapped up in tissue,
Dog thought it great,
And the Turks, they sat with their wives,
******* like crazy on sweet Shisha pipes!
(C) Livvi
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 9:31 AM UTC