"chav" poems
Look at all these wannabe gangsters
Terrorising our streets
That one's wearing camouflage trousers
Just wait till you hear him speak
'Dems bear skills mate'
'Can you lend me fifty bar?'
He sounds like he's from Los Angeles
Doing time in the yard
But he's not
He still lives at home with his mum
And his pregnant girlfriend
And he's under the thumb
You see them outside Tesco
But they're not shopping for pesto
Let's go
They've seen the old bill
He's known around this town
For selling dodgy pills
Guns, knives and slang
That's what you need
If you wanna be in their gang
No education
Just a stolen Playstation
And don't forget the ****
Even on a school night
They're out doing speed
You'll see 'em in the park
With a bottle of cider
Then they'll start
On a poor old-timer
Tracky bottoms
And a Burberry hat
Chav fashion
Cause they think they're all that
But the funny thing is
They don't have a clue
They don't think like
Me or you
They think that they're rap stars
Dreaming of fast cars
But they're just wankers
More like 'wannabe gangsters'
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 2:38 PM UTC
Seetaro mai akela chaand si thi wo
Foolon ka mehekta guldan si thi wo
Thi nadi jaisi aviral,chanchal
mere dil ka haal si thi wo
Ghani dhoop mai chav si thi wo
Kisi geet ki addaon si thi wo
Thi hava si mehekti, komal
Mere dil ka bhav si thi wo
Beech majhdhaar mai nav si thi wo
Khusian ka pura gaon si thi wo
Thi koyal si meethi,nishchal
Mere man ka abhiman si thi wo
Paido par wo patto waali hari bhari koi daal si thi wo
Holi ke rango mai sabse saadi ek akeli gulaal si thi wo
Thi wadi kasmiri koi
Mere geeton ka sur aur taal si thi wo
Mandir mai wo shankhnaad si,pooja ka prasad si thi wo
Baarish mai mitti ki khushboo,badal ka dharti se sanvaad si thi wo
Thi meri wo beti pyari,usse hi ghar 'harshit' tha
Mere ghar mai sooraj si,Mere ghar ki shaan si thi wo
Thi ab wo jo nahi rahi,aakhir khata kya thi ki usne
mana hi to kia tha na beta shaadi se,
Par dosti ka haath bhi to badhaya tha
Teri Bezatti toh nahi thi ki usne
Fir kyun tune usko har ghar badnaam kia
Dushman na kare,dost hokar tune aisa kaam kia
Chali gayi ab chhod ke mujhko,wo akele jeevan ki saanjh mai
Meri khushiyan,meri duniya,meri pyari jaan si thi wo
Meri pyari jaan si thi wo
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 7:46 AM UTC
Teri zulfon k chav mei
chamakta yeh chand sa chehra,
Aab isse jyada mai tujse aur kuch na keh raha.
Sunane ko bahut kuch hai
Par sun ne ko koi nahi.
Mana galti thi meri
Kya mai Maafi k layak hu nahi?
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 18, 2017 at 3:42 PM UTC
Bachpan ka samay kabhi na lautkar aata ,
Har waqt bus yaadon ka aasma reh jaata ,
Khelte the hum bhi khub dhul ko udel ko,
Maaf kr diye jate hamare sabhi galtiya aur bhul ko,
Jab chaha has lete they ,
Aur jab chaha ro dete they ,
Chhote chhote aankhon me sapne bade hote the,
Na kisi se bair,sare log apne hote the,
Par ab tou aansuo ko chahiye tanhayi ,
Chehre par sirf jhoothi muskaan hai chhayi ,
Zindagi ki tapish mein kab bachpan guzar gaya ,
Kab bachhe se bade ** gye zindagi ki daur mein nazar hi nahi aaya ,
Kya din they chalate they baarish mein nao
Ab khud ko chupane ke liye sochtey hain kha jao,
Na kuch paane ki aasha thi or na kuch khone ka drrrr,
Mast rehte they jaha apni hi dhun idhar udhar,
Koi lauta de bachpan ka sawan
Fir se mehak jayega mere dil ka aangan ,
Khelte they khilone se aaj khud khilona ban gaye ,
Bachpan ke sunhere pal na jaane kha kho gaye,
Maa se lipatne ke bahane bnate,
Maa ke aanchal ke chav me hi so jate,
Chhote se kadam se saitaniya bde karte the,
Papa Ki pyari daat pr bhi ro dete the,
Jab bhi rota mai,Maa apne sine se laga leti thi,
Sahlake haath sar pr mere muskura deti thi,
Maa ka dudh jaise amrit ka pyala tha,
Sach me hamara bachpan bahut hi nirala tha,
Amrit ka Ek ghut pi kar bhi khush ** jate the,
Duniya ka sabse bda sukh maa ke aanchal me hi pate the,
Yaad hai hume wo khubsurat bachpan ke pal,
Muskura dete hum jab bhi yaad aate wo sunhare bite kal........
4th collab. Poem composed by
Sonia Paruthi & Manish Shrivastva
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 8:42 AM UTC
He struts through the street
With an arrogant stride
A staffy at his feet
Fills him with pride
Baseball cap on his head
Peak points in the air
Yea blood I'm hard
And I don't seem to care
Trackies and hoodies
Are the code of his dress
Big golden chains
Hang low on his chest
Sock's pulled up high
Above his designer boots
I'm a council house chav
So proud of me roots
I'm hard and I know it
And I'll rob ya of bread
Don't mess with me
Or you'll end up dead
His attitude stinks
Filth falls from his gob
With a chip on his shoulder
He don't want a job
But under the bravado
He's as quiet as a mouse
Living his life
From his council house
His mum is on drugs
His dad is long gone
No wonder this bloke
Turned out to be wrong
So show him some kindness
Just a friendly word
Might just be the the thing
That stops him doing bird
I somehow much doubt it
But its worth a try
Cause deep underneath
He's a friendly guy
Nov 3, 2010
Nov 3, 2010 at 3:16 AM UTC
I wanna marry a chav
that looks just like
Britney Spears,
now, not ten years ago---
Barefoot & pregnant in yoga pants,
Barefoot mother slipping
into black stockings---
She idolizes her rivals,
Wants to be her own evil-twin---
I wanna marry the **** out of her
& watch her belly grow
in the sundaddy-o---
I want to take her ***
To the ****** Islands---
And watch her beached,
She is the opposite of who she is---
Completely manic up & running
She who stays within reach
Of images drowned
Between an old lady’s thighs---
Mother slips on black pantyhose,
Adjusting the waist over her *******
On Thursdays, sunnyside
every other day
---
Mother 8 months preggers in yoga pants
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 22, 2017 at 9:58 PM UTC
Moon zoos zoos on the moon in white man spaceship zoos on moon,
earth chavs chavs on the earth in a burberry chav ship chavs on the earth,
sun ***** ***** on the sun in racist spaceship ***** on the sun.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 4:21 PM UTC
you know that, only in england
you can wear a t-shirt in january,
and concede that (it's chav scots
clearing the path):
reading a søren kierkegaard book
qualifies you as mentally ill?
odd, isn't it? read a philosophy book
get a psychiatrist... where's the ******* bookmark?
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 7:06 PM UTC
DONT DO DRUGS KIDS
O a sis, John cooper clarke.
Pink floyd, getting ****** in the park.
****** crack co caine.
****** messed up again.
Council estate, tmazipan,
****** taliban.
A paper cup and a ball of string,
Ive lost me phone I'll use anythin.
Trying to get hold of my man,
Thames Valley police catch me if u can.
Tried to get the monkey off my back,
fallen down and landed in the crack ..
between the pavements,
easy street,
walking round no shoes on ma feet.
Touch this and you'll get burnt.
Been 20 years and I still havent learnt.
Loosing teeth, bad legs, getting older.
Are the winters getting colder?
Global warming ... What the ****
****** ..coming in on a salad truck.
Chav pants, naff fkin trainers,
little going on ... no brainers.
Mental health, welfare state,
think your spot on, think your great.
Urban people telling how it is.
Fk me, took to much whizz.
Walking round, feeling fantastic,
look at me dancing,
pretty tragic really ...
Stupidly asked some bloke to dance,
now im in the back of an amb ulance.
A saturday casualty.
Its an average weekend for me.
Going mad, on a ******
**** you world,
No surrender.
(c) mandy rigby and p skez 2012)
(now 4 yrs clean .. can i get an Amen?)
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 8:24 AM UTC
Sometimes in life,
I pause where I stand and take a breath,
Forgetting about my sorrows and strife.
For once not fearing death.
Sometimes I live,
Like the seed of a tree,
Not needing to forget, or forgive,
Just flying around; free.
Sometimes I lie,
Just to get people off my back.
I'm feeling upset because of a guy,
But it's not like many people really give a crap.
Sometimes I cry,
Because I want to let out the stress I have
Over that one guy,
Who is just a chav.
Sometimes I smile
Because once in a great while,
He makes my happy
Even though at the same time he makes me life ******
Sometimes I shake,
I can't handle what's really at stake;
Loosing someone like you,
Is something I can't live through.
Sometimes I want to scream;
You did break my heart
And I'm only happy in dreams,
Where we're not living worlds apart.
Sometimes I want to yell,
Because you feel compelled,
To keep secretes from me,
As if it'll keep from making bad memories.
Sometimes, I feel the pain
You caused with a knife,
Through my heart's vain's.
Nearly ending the meaning of my life.
And yet,
Somehow. . .
Somehow in life,
I pause where I sit,
Taking a breath, no longer feeling the knife,
Planted there by some twit.
Apr 25, 2012
Apr 25, 2012 at 12:59 AM UTC
Those cosmopolitan provincials sorts
the chavs, yobs, yobbesses and oiks with semolina for brains
them retro-grade grade-less sub-humans bottom feeders
who think Cardiff is in East Angular and Magaluf is Eden
and Higher Education begins in Borstal or a stint at HM Prisons
found by happenstance a tin of Caviar
something they'd never seen before
with the curiosity of practiced thieves
they proceeded to examine its worth
'its a tin of hair gel says one'
'No, no, no says another, I think its something you eat'
'it says Caviar Royal Beluga, observes another'
'throw it away, anything with a name like that is rubbish'
'Beluga...some foreign muck, it look dark and oily'
'yea mate, look like **** throw it away'
One of the dis-advantaged rabble with one O'level in Carpentry
took a closer look
'look he says, there's sticker on the bottom that reads
Caviar Royal Beluga – 1kg £3,780.00'
Hahahaha they all roared in ceaseless mirth, hahaha
'some joker is having a laugh, pull the other leg, fancy...
a tin of black gunge in some slimy stuff cost three grand,
must think people are born yesterday, Beluga..fuckoffluga'
And with that, they tossed the tin away and walked off
laughing like *********
Ignorance is a disease, ignorance is bliss
will vandals extol the sheer magnificence of a Constable
or see anything other than a chair in a Chippendale ribbonback chair,
will Barbarians shed a tear on hearing the sensuous notes of Chopin or shiver at the graceful notes of Debussy or melt in sheer
adoration as Tchaikovsky's romance soars in magical resonance.
Will cosmopolitan heathens gape in mesmerizing wonder on
seeing Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel and praise God for being alive
So who has great expectations of our dear cosmopolitan provincials sorts
those chavs, yobs, yobbesses and oiks with semolina for brains
for in disparaging excellence
and rubbishing the noble and the exceptional
they make us appreciate more that we are blessed
and privileged
and do not have
semolina for brains
hey!
who would like some caviar
Jun 30, 2019
Jun 30, 2019 at 6:40 AM UTC
such that you are, a bane of hurt
that to him a rib, a bane of craft rebellious
that i too rebellious
against my creator -
i did indeed take a book
into the forest
like i'd take a slice of glass
into a desert,
and herded horses, eating camomile
flowers, gesticulating,
pouring beer into my hand and
letting them drink it,
watching the ******* sunset
of london like watching a Chav buying
underwear in Primark + Armani = Primani...
the pair of them walked home...
i ripped off flowers from the spring bloom crop
to ease the footing... something resembling
Lavender and indeed camellia: a wedding, no pause -
for their feet treading - the most colourful
garbage littered and not bothered -
just left intact, like the many shades of autumnal auburn
littering the streets come November.
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 4:19 PM UTC
Searching me down
looking for the prada
thinking every chav is selling narcotta
I am a university man I said
well you resemble a local crackhead
said the rude fed
Whats with those meds
I went chemist for my mum
Do you think we're dumb?
tell us the truth son
those drugs are full your addiction
and that bike do you have permission?
no its my sisters she's at college
she recently left
that's technically thief
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 9:28 PM UTC
It never a good idea to make anchors out of bread
or use Plasticine to make triggers
and worse of all
you take dumb indiscipline juvenile street mongrels
and say, these are our soldiers
what are they going to do
attack by blowing **** smoke at the enemy
or do a killer dissing rap
(they do that already in poetry and its laughable ****
perhaps they will chav the enemy to death
or most likely
and now this is genius and actually workable
abject stupidity
can actually Bore people to death
aah....I need to go and find something to stimulate my mind
Jul 13, 2020
Jul 13, 2020 at 3:54 PM UTC
mindful...
i still have
a worth of half
a steak's worth
of frying to do...
to the ultimatum:
medium rare...
roses are red:
but only well cooked
steaks are pink...
"chewwy", side note:
bite bite.
by now...
the world is anything
and everything
but a beautiful
place,
to write such words.
for a song to make
you cry,
for a song to make
you itchy...
of this flesh...
but of the same
sense of flesh,
without a sense of
belonging...
and then coming
across
a borrowing of
"reiteration"...
that lost sense of
appeasement...
self-congratulation
was never made into
a charles dickens' novel...
pride, pride: i too 'ide...
and 'yde...
fucking bollocks'
worth of a hidden gem's
worth of a "winner"...
ah wee,
ah chew,
i chewie...
-wwy...
chav and the chavvy
liquorice all-sorts
of the new vatican:
the victorian
puritans...
ah chewbacca...
ah the disgruntled masses...
ah this, ah the other...
ah: and all of england,
but none of London.
so... no part of, velsh?
woe and woo your
parts of...
timid,
and static,
and...
immobile
crippled to me.
the crusades were
not a reply...
to the concept of jihad...
jihad
is not reconquista?
but jihad is,
reconquista,
so what's the word
for crusade,
in arabic?
crescent-
maroondering
(close, almost a google-whack,
2 search results)
crescent-"maundering"?
have to start calling
the ottoman tactic,
the turkic,
the "anti"-arab mind-set,
the expansion into the european
balkans...
milošević:
milo-sh-eh-vee-"c";
there were also the northern
cursades of the teutons
against the prussians
and the lithuanains...
with polacks being the punching
bags...
i almost wish i would relate...
but...
i, "sort of", can't.
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 10:59 PM UTC