"certaintly" poems
I look at myself
and once again
I have that feeling.
That stone in your heart,
that heartless stone
that is me.
Raw feelings go here
unscheduled
no words to describe them,
just feeling.
I could say that I'm down
In this English language of yours
But no, that's not it.
You may argue it's depression,
and yeah, my psychiatrist would agree,
but that's not it either.
Maybe it's dysphoria kicking in once more,
certaintly I feel its awful hand greeping me again,
but that's not it.
What may it be,
this ugly feeling I puke to the poem.
I don't know.
But I want it to stop
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 22, 2018 at 4:38 PM UTC
Pensaba que era alguien
y era mi reflejo.
Era yo,
era mi cuerpo,
no era yo
era mi avatar en este mundo,
un hombre joven y asustadizo,
no era yo.
Pensaba que era alguien
y era mi reflejo.
Mi reflejo,
ese mundo mudo e invertido,
como este tantas veces.
Espero que a mi reflejo le vaya mejor que a mí.
Ciertamente tiene mi cuerpo,
vaya desgracia.
Aunque tal vez en su inversión
se reniega de mi condición transgénero,
de mi desgracia con los expertos de la salud mental.
Tan invertido ese mundo de reflejo
que tal vez pueda disfrutar de sus amigos,
disfrutar de su reflejo.
Mi relación con los espejos
siempre fue de amor-odio.
Amor porque la científica en mi
sólo veía un instrumento semimágico
que replica nuestra realidad.
Odio porque yo no estoy en esa realidad.
Un energúmeno ocupa mi lugar,
un inútil al que odio con todo mi ser.
Un chico.
De pequeña jugaba a que luchaba con ese chico,
nunca pude derrotarle,
sigue ahí.
No era yo,
era mi reflejo.
Mi archienemigo.
Mi odio.
//
I thought it was someone
and it was my reflection.
It was me,
it was my body,
it wasn't me
it was my avatar in this world,
a young and shy man,
it wasn't me.
I thought it was someone
and it was my reflection.
My reflection,
that mute, inverted world,
like this one so many times.
I hope my reflection is doing better than me.
Certaintly it has my body,
what a pitty.
Although maybe in its inversion
it denies my transgender condition,
my disgrace with mental health experts.
So inverted is that world of reflection
that it may enjoy its friends,
enjoy its reflection.
My relationship with mirrors
has always been of love-hatred.
Love because the scientist in me
only saw a semimagic instrument
that copies our reality.
Hatred becouse I am not in that reality.
A madman takes my place,
a vane man that I hate with all my being.
A boy.
When I was young I fightplayed with that boy,
I never could defeat him,
he's still there.
It wasn't me,
it was my reflection.
My nemesis.
My hatred.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 8:22 AM UTC
I saw in a magazine
A beautiful black woman
Her hair was wild
Her face was dark
She was a true black beauty
Then I looked in the mirror
And I saw myself
I am black, but certaintly not beautiful
My hair is coarse
My eyes are dark
Black and beautiful don't mix
But on that woman,
Her beauty prooves that statement wrong.
Feb 12, 2011
Feb 12, 2011 at 5:03 PM UTC
I felt your hand brush past my face,
Tender touch, an exquisite embrace.
Special years have slowly elapsed
1 direction , 2 people, hands perfectly clasped.
Through tantrums and tears,
You've helped me conquer my fears;
A unique force, ever so true ever so robust .
Encouraging words and tantalising kisses that drifted through me like angles sending me wishes,
Helping me was never a heavy duty ..
More like a mission to accomplish, climbing a hill or a mountain .. The days that surpasses you certaintly were counting
To conquer that fear that never should of been there
So we could return to that memorable exquisite embrace and not give a care
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 7:41 PM UTC
Mandala ******
Bird brain herder
Pack of wild wolves
Owls without.
Grit teeth say please.
Sea of folks different strokes
Non of genious
And certaintly not I
Mind is feeling weak
Strap boots to feet
Got em brand new,
Brunswick stew
Over Converse☆ conversation.
Grossly mass produced.
I hate you.
Thats my good pen.
Bought not found.
I like the way it writes
Hate the way I do.
**** me, love you.
Grossly
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 22, 2018 at 5:14 PM UTC