When you leave, go without a whisper,
as though you were never here.
Do not leave tear stains on my pillow or kiss my eyes and beg them not to cry.
Dissipate, let the thin air replace you. Leave no echo, no trace of your existence,
no backward pity glance at what might have been,
Fuck the drawn out goodbye, the heartfelt speech, the apologies for the inevitable.
It's not you it's me.....It's always me.
Let the truth hang above my broken form, swaying as the ceiling creaks under its bitter weight. I will dance to it's rhythm soon enough.
She was alone,
Positively prone to persistent poverty
Shown shuttering darkness as the door locked,
The light gone.
Her moms love massacred monstrous by drugs
As her heart stirred to stone
But see, she’d rather be alone.
She could die by neglect benign rather than the desired suicide
Would cause the law to head on collide with her mom’s careless ride
And crush her from the inside.
As prison became her permanent reside
Why was suicide desired,
Why was dying alone,
Locked in the never ending absence of home,
better than being with her?
She only provided horror,
Tore her limb from limb,
Skinned her clean and hung her limp
Her body was perfectly profitable
Tasty, like prey for an animal
So mom made money, men got sexual, and her spirit died brutal
She clung on for survival
All the while that devil on her shoulder told her to crumble
To let go and tumble
For the darkness of the depths would feel better than the bombs of this one-woman brothel
And in despair so utterly understandable her hand unbuckled
and she released.
As gravity pushed, her speed increased
Chest hit the ground, her battling lungs ceased,
Blood clung to life on the sidewalk, filling every crease.
Peering over the edge,
her mothers face was emotionally at peace
as the light of her day forever deceased.
only when you stop thinking,you will feel.
when you start feeling,you will live for what it is,
when you start living,you will experience what it is,
An experience is the basis of the life.
An experience has to stimulate a thought,
but it should not be the other way around.
Heart beat, beat again.
Don't leave me alone my only friend
Don't leave me here to die in vain.
Don't leave me please just say my name
Just clasp my hand keep me awake
If I sleep I'll slip from your embrace.
So shake me hard, I'm leaving soon,
Keep me from slumber and here with you.
My blood runs cold it won't be long,
Please sing to me an angel's song,
True beauty's voice inside my ear
To fill my sails away from here.
This ship I'll take to rest in peace.
Sweet voice, sweet girl, sweet night.
Most won't suspect
that I am hiding
in a haze
of indecision and fear
with a bit
I have no choice.
If I come out
who I truly am
would be solemn
and the life
(as being ME)
cease to be...
So here I am
behind this haze
of indecision and fear
but not daring
to let anyone I know
Unspoken feelings, they cry out in the night.
You hold my heart frozen, so wrong but so right.
My dreams scream for you, my body aches in withdrawal.
Baby you're a drug and I'm in for the haul.
Addicted to the pain, addicted to the feeling.
I'm an addict, a lover, just a human being.
You were never good for me, that's what you would tell.
I said I'd stay standing, but so quickly I fell.
One kiss, one touch, one day at the park.
My love it unravels, but only alone in the dark.
I never had told you, the way I really felt.
As you'd hold me so close, my heart it would melt.
You made me feel safe, for once in my time.
The happiest I've ever been, when I thought you'd be mine.
Yet I was sadly mistaken, just lost in a haze.
I was high off your love, but for you it was solely a phase.
Torrents pouring down around me,
Standing with my arms flung wide
Trying to catch the life, the meaning
And possibilities so high.
I can't stand here, watching helpless;
I wish my soul would be at peace.
There's nothing more that I desire
Than for anxiety to cease.
I see the bubbling brook, so peaceful,
And hear it as it passes by
As birds, chirping, bid me welcome
In bloss'ming trees that point to sky.
Spring and life anew surround me,
But still, I feel no joy inside.
The burdens of my life are haunting
As life is turning with the tide.
Thousands of people, talking, laughing
Pass me by at every turn
If I could but reach out and touch them,
Then would my soul-song cease to yearn?
Alas, I'm in this lonely bubble
Silent but for tears and fears;
Uncertainty that swarms around me
And cringing from the gossip's jeers.
Alas, if I could love another--
With love, unselfish and so true
For so few can penetrate this bubble
Knowing my flaws, and loving me, too.
there is no answer
you won't find it
it will only
make it easier
to lose your mind
i don't want to hurt you
there's nothing left to hide
i've given you everything i have
if you stopped looking
you might open your eyes
and truly see for the first time
do not search anymore
only listen to these words
and feel their true meaning
i am pouring my heart out
hoping that you'll understand
my complicated vibes for you
so don't look
pause and listen
long enough to feel