"capsuled" poems
drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin
separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin
screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real
obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in
remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 7:35 PM UTC
I lie upon the soft field grasses,
and look up upon the blue.
To ease the mind to rest,
and let my eyes take in the view.
Vapour shaped by wind,
that drifts high upon the restful scene.
To float upon the pastel,
leaving no trace where it has been.
Shapes of white and grey,
like soft pillows in the air.
That by some subtle contortion,
transform, 'til naught is there.
Others drift across the daylight,
as if on some predestined course.
propelled across the sky,
by a breath of nature's unseen force.
I wonder where they go,
what bidding do they do.
As they glide along their way,
until far beyond my capsuled view.
Sun's warmth in temporary instalments,
as shadows come and go.
The shade and shadow's fall,
slightly cool all that is far below.
Through my eyes now closed,
of soft patterns I remain complete aware.
As warmth and slight chill mark the clouds,
that march upon the springtime air.
Jun 13, 2021
Jun 13, 2021 at 8:50 PM UTC
Victory is of the self.
Another threadbare exchange to leave my spirit in poverty.
Nothing I remember but the time we drifted near my planetary ego.
Planet.
You know the Greeks called it aster planetai? The star that moves.
Why be something I’m not?
It was always about me – the bloated body expelled into space.
I can be less grotesque. I can be less absolute.
I can be less dead sooner over later.
But why be something I’m not?
I am the object of my own worship, and I shall take no gods before me.
In lieu I’ll take them with me.
They the minor idols, capsuled icons, escape pods burnt in the crazy science fiction fires of atmosphere re-entry.
Everyone was all the time fleas flaked off my solar bodyship, seeking exaltation in pursuit ex nil ad nihil.
I’d apologize for my deceptions, but I’ve got a lot to learn about remorse and little time to learn it.
Horror genre, body to cosmic. Gaze you, the invited subject, upon the approaching sun from the whet of my exhausted maw.
Burn out your eyes.
Who is greater than the sun? Who can talk more than me? It's become my occupation.
Matches made with flesh and fuel wait for the final fade to white.
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 10:26 PM UTC
Forest of skin
no longer will I trace your topography
The petrichor
- gone -
exiled from capsuled prison
Your face lain peaceful beside me
Indifference will grow
cored apple - shriveled
Hopefully fertile for another
Silence and stranger
Two existences
Will again
Possess between one another
relationship - destruit - redefined
compost ready cores
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 9:55 PM UTC
Deep in the silence that cannot speak
There is a sadness that blooms and breathes
Battered by twigs and fallen leaves
Lungs of air thin and bristle ribs
Blossoms of dark trajectories
Skeleton figures in submarines
Drowning in lies of jubilee
Halos to hold to sink or swim
Beauty in scars of skin cut deep
Loving the thrill of broken swings
Capsuled in valleys far from dreams
Living on salt and crystalline
Lucidly slipping on ice so thin
Autumn in winter summer springs
Nomads run free on vast prairies
Flowing through veins of tributaries
Tasting the new blood on their lips
Lining a cusp between their hips
Blade descends slowly tongue in cheek
Building a palace with their twin teeth
Deep in the silence that cannot speak
There is a sadness that blooms and breathes
Sadness in brooding symphony
Sadness in chants of majesty
Sadness that rises like morning glory
Sadness that flourishes like a disease
Tracing our bones from link to link
Constellate like stars and planet rings
Sadness that thrives on melancholy
And the synthesis of metal and skin
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 6:59 AM UTC
Goodbye.
It pains me to say this to you because I honestly don’t want it to come from me but I have to. So goodbye.
We were in the brink of something so beautiful but you chose to end it because of something I still find too shallow. It honestly makes me wonder how it will be if we pushed through but the fact that it was so easy for you to let me go made me think that, “I guess it won’t end well if we continue.” Fears will always be present, babe. The key is not to let it get to you but it did, and in a bad way.
I can’t even begin to imagine how our life would be like though, you know, if we continue. And the more days go by, the more I doubt myself if I want this. Well, scratch that. I want this so badly, but I don’t think it will work. I am torn between giving this a shot with all my might and just letting this go because I know in the months to come, the pain will be more unbearable.
Our personalities just don’t mix well with this frustratingly uncontrollable issue. You fear that when you leave me soon, we will be worse than what we are now. That’s why you think it will be easier for you to leave without having any extra baggage, me. My friends called you a coward, but some people just don’t understand. They don’t understand the depth of the situation because simply, they’re not in it. They can say all they want to and anticipate how it’s like being in our places right now but they’re never going to understand the pain and the feelings in between that go with the situation. They just don’t.
We were a perfect match. And I guess because of that, we burnt out. I feel like there’s a huge void inside me and I can’t make any sense out of it, because we were never together but you made such a huge impact. We were, are, and will be nothing but an ALMOST.
But if anything, I want to let you know how much I loved our little infinity capsuled in a span of 1 month. Many great things happened in that short amount of time that never happened in the years I’ve had with anyone else. And I will always be grateful for that. I now know that I deserve a love like that, and more. You showed me how it was to feel special and to be appreciated for who I am, flaws and all. I was the most beautiful girl in your eyes and I hope one day we'll find our way back and give our love another try. I hope that when that day comes, we'll continue our story rather than just leave it with an ellipsis.
I guess I’ll still be here for you though, but in a different way. I’ll always be your cousin’s classmate who made your heart skip a beat at day one. I’ll always be the girl who knows how to make you laugh even when you’re not in the mood and I’ll always be that stubborn “almost” girlfriend who made you feel like you were the best “almost” boyfriend.
Take care of yourself, big guy. Goodbye.
Jun 17, 2016
Jun 17, 2016 at 1:00 AM UTC
Contact - Pews with no use, a forgotten passage treacled, serving the timbre of resonance
Fundamental mistake agreed upon - Taken in turns, compromise youth, stripes of black tape, holding in, holding down - With such emotion
A feeling, an instinct - Complex in nature, futile in structure - Sigil-like and abrupt - Bursting forth a cacophony of irreverence
Yet, buried vast leagues underneath, the reflex of upset digestion in a tank of split hairs
Full/Frugal
This is within the borders of communication - Feedback - Crossed between importance
Cornerstones moss covered, sinking to the bottom of refuse
Candy & gum flavoured coastal reefs - Hardening on the decay of brimstone and salt
My ego is capsuled, exerting pressure equally from all angles
A fishing hook, on a fishing rod - Cast into a culture of aplomb
Plum knives, bread, buried under volcanoes - Just far away enough, shielded by brass
Squashed inside my grandmother's tin - Old, rustic and wilting
Baking our ancestry into extinction - Corroding, and creating callous embassy
Just long enough, to settle our stomachs - I dance.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015 at 7:54 PM UTC
You're asleep, I think
I can tell by the way your lung contents are squeezed from your nostrils
In ever so slightly a more
Forceful motion than when we lie awake
hiding from each other behind eyelids.
And your recycled air brushes my forehead
And I think dustily of how the same molecules
Dance in my lungs
That have visited yours.
And our skin coloured mountains form scapes
On the expanse of wrinkled bed sheet
And I am dead still
As I try to keep this frozen hug
In a capsuled memory
To recall on one of the nights
You can't make it.
Jan 2, 2012
Jan 2, 2012 at 7:27 AM UTC
the leaves have entered the house
more are thriving and not wilting.
the vibrance ever so strong
Amongst the flowers carried by its fat stems.
our steel founded doors
do not stand a chance.
All are persistent enough to fill half of this home with wild ferns, curling perpetually.
All grew faster than the strands of my hair thats already been boosted by the magic of human calibre.
It pushed me to a side,
a small space, and sooner
it will just be one tile
In this checkered flooring
I am surrounded,
my toes to touch the silky forest capsuled in this house.
The vines slithering around my legs
I wilt at the touch.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 9:39 PM UTC
The Moon was a quiet soul,
With not much to smile for.
But oh, the Sunny shade was no bore,
Of course, she was loved by the universe.
The love they shared capsuled
Them in their own galaxy;
The galaxy the little Star
Was oblivious to.
Oh, the Star
Quiet and awkward.
All she meant
Was trouble and boredom.
How she longed to touch the Moon,
To smile and be smiled at,
To love and be loved.
But of course she was too naive.
She was just a young Star,
Too absorbed in her reveries.
She was just a tiny Star,
Invisible compared to the mighty Sun.
When the Moon told the Star
Of his love, she flushed,
Thinking all his poetry was a
Reference to the tiny Star.
But alas, she wasn’t the only star.
Then the eclipse arrived
And the Moon and the Sun
Shared their beautiful kiss.
The Star, however, could not share
Her confusion, so she cheered along.
Of course the Sun was brighter than her,
The Sun was warmer, wiser.
The Sun was everything the moon needed;
The Sun was everything the silly star could not be.
Feb 16, 2025
Feb 16, 2025 at 3:24 PM UTC
Drowning in the lows of social interpretation of trust and true friendships
Leading my peers in unrecognizable intimidation that haunts my words and actions
The meaningless words I say haunt my spirit and gives me one more demon on my shoulder
"Just take one more, you'll forget" it says
My Control of Dependance never wins, the Benzo family welcomes me with warming thoughts of peace and stress free thinking that no other particle in this universe would replace.
My half empty bottle yells at me and reminds my stricken brain to keep it together
The crave is unnoticed and I think nothing of it until I wake
The vicious cycle lasts all day long and never goes away, nothing stops
The wheel spins as the pain and fear stab me along the way
I loose everyone and everything I have that makes me, me.
Nothing I know makes sense anymore,
Anything I do for myself seems useless and pathetic
The speed in of my surroundings is never ending and there is no one behind or in front to lead me
The paper trail of various mind warping pills lead my trail of life, giving me the warmth of their family's love as I drop each one under my tongue
Giving me the strength that God doesn't give me
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 21, 2017 at 7:31 PM UTC
Through the white screen door,
Down broken steps of burned bark
A rusty swing set, red
Buried in Autumn.
Years passed since I sat,
In thick plastic seats
Now are weathered and cracked.
The vines of snakes
Hug the legs, winding and twisting.
Ripe
Sticky summer in-capsuled in growing memories
Of all the years I sat
And picked away at the berries.
At the end of the succulent days,
My fingers, stained
Red.
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 2:06 PM UTC
When you see, seer
The perfection in it all, bang
You’ve lost a point of view
Then are you utterly alone
Like the clown
All around the three ring
Circus-goers
Laugh at the absurd thing
Never suspecting how utterly profound.
Is the life of a clown.
How many bangs have birthed you then
Imprisoned primordial bangs
Bursting the unsuspecting cosmos
What a long childhood you’ve had,
While god watched
From his bang, bang launch pad
Millions of light years went by
Bang, bang
Billions of light tears he cried
Eventually, bang you appear
After
A lustful specialty bang
Sped spermful and hopeful
To an ultimate conclusion
Destinies union.
You then,
Orchestrating bang-bang moments of between
Beautiful verdant in bloom bangs
Hang from your spring and summer tree
Of your budding truth
Of your hopeful youth
Time capsuled shutter flutter
Contemplative baby bangs soothing
The Epiphanius bang of instant recognition
Bangs so soft
They're hardly bangs at all
Being more like a soft bubble bursting
A quiescent sound
Infinite in its stillness.
Nothing to forgiveness
Then came
The bangs of the winter of your discontent
Explosive in its silent rage
Shattering the iron of its irony
The rage in its engage
The fury in its fleeing
Blind-sighted by seeing
Justified in its sage rage
Follow the bang gang
Puerile and untouched
In its rarest invisible form
Placated and felted
Velvet experiencer
Must touch.
Must taste
Must be seen
Must be to be to be.
Without the sacrificial lamb
You stand
Alone
Neither prey nor predator
Merely a spectator
To a dictator.
You’ve known all along
And frown at the clown
That was only trying to make you laugh.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 6:43 PM UTC
Whoop, wow, careful now
Don't slip don't fall
Don't break into a misty skip
While dull as ditchwater sirens call
Keep your balance, toe the cord
You have stolen someone's sorrow,
Safety nets long rotted away
From expecting gone what's here tomorrow
But think with what grace you have left
And don your jester cap once more
What spasmic leaps you made, what fun
You got to see while on the saw
Up and down and Romeo
You capsuled dose of fun, you joy
Stop leaping over fields of mould
Stop making endurance your toy
I'll crack the whip and flair your shackles,
Shiver, shake, for soon you'll see
A spirit of pain has blown through with the wind,
But pass it shall, as easily
May 20, 2017
May 20, 2017 at 7:35 PM UTC
-Am I okay?
-No , you are not.
-Am I hesitant?
-No, not at all.
-Am I self-obsessed?
-Maybe, a little.
-Am I oversweet?
-I'd say - bitter.
-Am I perplexed,overwhelmed, dazed or ... am I pure rage, capsuled?
-Truth is that you are just great and absurd.
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 21, 2015 at 5:20 PM UTC
I miss you.
More than I will ever admit.
My pride Just won't submit.
Can't deny, the truth holds some merit.
As quickly as the love comes, it will perish.
You stole my heart, like a terrorist.
Use to ball my eyes out, when you read my lyrics.
I remember it so clear, I can still hear it.
I was just an author, you breed life in my lyrics.
You meant it so much, it hurt my larynx.
Capturing moments, en-capsuled in words
so it seemed as you would read it.
Pictured it so clearly,
even I couldn't believe it.
Approval of a third,
we couldn't even conceive it.
Believing in myself, our self-esteem kept'em heated.
Depending on each other, giving each other what we needed.
But ever since I lost you, I've been feeling defeated.
Crawling on my knees until I bleed, praying as I plead.
Looking for my Confidence; Indeed, I'm in need.
Please: come help me deal with these issues -- I miss you.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 3:29 PM UTC
We stage a play against the time
I know you are fain
A microdot for the mind
The words that won't be said
Promise me tonight we will escape.
I saw the ghost in your eyes
Functioning of the galaxies
Perfectly capsuled in our minds
So if you are ready to take that long walk
DOORS OPEN but it ain't free.
You hear them
To Their songs to be sane
He screams "This is my end " to the abyss I ran across the graveyard to find myself staring at those ****** water
Listened to my winded self.
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 4:48 PM UTC
The girl who got away
Blocked her account
And left me with her memories
The girl who got away
Won't look at me now
But, will notice me in a crowdy street
The girl who got away
Probably, likes watching movies with someone else
But, watches the same movies we watched all over again
The girl who got away
Probably, got a lot better in terms of physicality
But, her heart is a bunch of bandages wrapped with each other
The girl who got away
Loves reading books
But, cannot bear to stop imagining life without reality
I just keep finding her in that library called love
The girl that got away
Met me for the last time
Leaving an everlasting memory which said, "I've moved on."
I finally understood what it meant after I loved someone else
And finally, when I gave back the books, I took from her on rent
She appeared to have become a cautionary tale
Quite quaint isn't it?
Unless I have moved on with dignity
And gratitude on display
Here's my book in a time capsuled by nature
Titled "Gratitude"
For a lover's fortitude
Each fortnight, this love story brings me strength for eternity
For swingin' lovers looking for respect
Jul 19, 2019
Jul 19, 2019 at 4:44 PM UTC
the open arms of my beloved
will welcome me no more
the coffee iris
shan't lay it's grace
onto my pathetic capsuled being
i have seen the passion fade
the laugh die away in the distance
i have to keep my distance
shame me
i am but a shell
of rotting flesh
and boiling blood
decomposing consumed meat and grass
i have been boiled down to the bones
that keep me intact
with the space and time
i wanted to banish myself from
being pushed to the limits
of my insanity and mortal body
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 9:02 AM UTC
Far away, I hear the sounds
a stampede of footsteps
rushing off into another phase
One day lost, another one to be
Hoping for a world of eternity
caring for the things everyone's dropped
aging into oblivion, hardening into rock
one job, two job, three job, and four
plus several more
pitiful memories
and a future that's bleak
feeling sorry and needing mercy
A prisoner, a slave, and nothing more
forced to endure this timing cold
made to bicker, chosen to be
just another old thing
Missing it, that very it
to make a home, a nest, an adobe hut
impulsive, yes, but shallow, no
scarred by time, yes, biased, no
Conceited, prideful, and not careful
loud, very proud, without a doubt
candid, poetic, confused, a liar
pathological, cunning, deceiving, evil
anything bile, nothing close to angelic
a drug, a drug, and some luck
To pull this day into a better day
even though the odds are in
very many odds, oh yes, so many odds
made to ponder, made to doubt or flounder
with a tiny pill, capsuled with orange and yellow
forced to swallow, forced to appreciate
At least, I said how I feel
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 6:42 PM UTC