"butterfingers" poems
The emus formed a football team
Up Walgett way;
Their dark-brown sweaters were a dream
But kangaroos would sit and scream
To watch them play.
"Now, butterfingers," they would call,
And such-like names;
The emus couldn't hold the ball
- They had no hands - but hands aren't all
In football games.
A match against the kangaroos
They played one day.
The kangaroos were forced to choose
Some wallabies and wallaroos
That played in grey.
The rules that in the West prevail
Would shock the town;
For when a kangaroo set sail
An emu jumped upon his tail
And fetched him down.
A whistler duck as referee
Was not admired.
He whistled so incessantly
The teams rebelled, and up a tree
He soon retired.
The old marsupial captain said,
"It's do or die!"
So down the ground like fire he fled
And leaped above an emu's head
And scored a try.
Then shouting, "Keep it on the toes!"
The emus came.
Fierce as the flooded Bogan flows
They laid their foemen out in rows
And saved the game.
On native pear and Darling pea
They dined that night:
But one man was an absentee:
The whistler duck - their referee -
Had taken flight.
9.7k
Reese’s Pieces are for people who
Are used to picking up the pieces
Of broken hearts
But they still want to make it
A good experience
Smiles that look like peanut butter
And kisses that taste like chocolate
Butterfingers are for the kids who
Are used to being picked last for
Everything except to cheat off of
In math class
They’ve grown accustomed to
Not being thought of
Popular kids like the M&Ms;
Because in the end
What else do they have except
For the stories of muses
And the parties they attended
One-by-one they picked apart
Everyone who didn’t act just like them
Pop Rocks are terrible and
So are Peppermint Patties
Crunch bars and 100 Grand’s
Made the jocks think they would actually
Go somewhere and do something
With their lives
Hope comes in strange forms
Monkeys don’t know the difference
Kit-Kats are for the hipsters
Talking a little too loud about mustaches
Listening to music that nobody knew
Grouping around vegan lunch tables
They would break off one by one
When another clique accepted them
Anything made by ***** Wonka
Was a favorite of the kids who
Knew who they were and
Weren’t ashamed
After all, what does candy say
About any of us
Clothes and shoes
Were only disguises
To hide us from the world we
Desperately wanted to fit into
If you had a Five Star notebook
Started mattering a lifetime too soon
When I step into the convenience store
I picture the kids that I know
Because of the candy they ate
I regret having such a sweet tooth
To pick apart kids’ lives
With nothing to satisfy the bitter
After-taste of social humiliation
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
Craving has begun
They taste so freaking good dude
It's snowing on Mt. Fuji
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 19, 2015 at 9:49 AM UTC
It’s not much, I mean, but
uh, nothing, sorry, man I got butterfingers
slippery as my tongue, here
did you drop something, are you sure?
cause my thump-thumping heart dropped
so hard to the floor when it knew you were near
that it bounced right back up
right where it goes, then straight out my crown chakra,
only to dissipate and erupt
into Truth
the literal and the metaphorical
allegorical nebulas that resonate in full high-definition colour the way
all Nine symphonies played simultaneously
would look
sedimentary, like a cheesecake
when I first saw you, something
shifted in my horoscope with the same scope and scale
of a modern Greek myth – Prometheus rising, fire
in the eyes of one woman, that’s all
all Aphrodite could gather up—fix it to the mainstay, Odysseus
let’s get to it, in siren seas, eating weeds to survive
if there’s nothing left when Cthulu
comes alive, I hope at least
I’ll get to talk to you at a party
like, once, where we’ll mix some more
mythologies
Once Inana birthed the world, and Spider Woman showed her how
I could show you how Saraswati
makes music, and old Bacchus stays on his feet
Care to play my Isis? If that makes me Osiris
then drown me, chop me up. Throw my body
to Mr. Lucifer; the Morrigan will come to inspect your ****
and finding it satisfactory
will whisk you away somewhere better
How’s that last part sound to you, eh?
there’s not much left to waste in the techno age
of “nothing in moderation,” with all our
degradation,
defamation,
discrimination,
and mild inflammation caused by
nonspecific anxiety medications
in our nation of constant false elation,
so
my point is time
the one thing we got left to waste
is time, and I’m a dedicated pacifist, but
I wouldn’t mind killing
some of that, with you
Let’s blow this pop stand
and go hunting.
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 12:52 AM UTC
my hands reach for the strings
but i have butterfingers, and i hesitate too much
another missed chance, another lost opportunity
i wanted to tell you first
the confession was sitting on my tongue
but it burned down my cowardly throat instead
every time, the acceptance settles in my heart
heavy, like a small weight on my chest
at least i can carry my regrets without anyone seeing
go ahead, keep the lights shining on me
as i dance with someone who deserves better
who should have received a whole world
but if you look closely, all i had to offer was an arm to hold
and a smile for the pictures when we needed to pose
for my whole world was already in someone else's arms
Apr 8, 2021
Apr 8, 2021 at 11:35 PM UTC
The earth is getting warmer,
the ice are melting,
the polar bears are endangered,
mermaids are not real,
my dad's never getting clean,
you'll never drive two hours to bring me Butterfingers,
you'll never listen to the songs I send you,
you don't know my middle name,
I feel like I have to beg to be with you,
you'll never read this poem because it's so tiny and insignificant,
and my heart's going to break any day now
but I'd still ask you to pick up the pieces for me.
Apr 7, 2016
Apr 7, 2016 at 8:12 PM UTC
Happy Halloween
Trick or treats at the front door,
give them candy, but they want more.
I put poison in their candy bar,
razors in their apple will leave a scar.
Tired of hearing, the ringing of my bell,
all these **** kids can go to hell.
Putting tacks in their Milky Way,
don't they know candy causes tooth decay.
Even with the lights off, they still knock,
I hate every kid on this **** block.
I give them lint from my dryer,
their stupid costumes, I light on fire.
I put pennies in their pillow case,
some kids so ugly, don't need masks on face.
I smile at their moms, standing on the sidewalk,
all the hot ones, I can't help but gawk.
When they say trick or treat,
I make them lick my smelly feet.
Putting pins in their Baby Ruth,
no longer will they have a sweet tooth.
Putting nails in their peanut butter Twix,
I have a big bag filled with rotten tricks.
I put Anthrax in their Snickers,
on the Kit Kat i cover with chiggers.
Three Musketeers are filled with staples,
Butterfingers have splinters from wooden tables.
Naughty kids get a bag of my ****
from the toilet, that I often sit.
Maybe next year they will learn,
or I'll give them ashes from their parents urn.
Sometimes I scare them and make them beg,
their so scared, you can see *** running down their leg.
I've even given left overs from the fridge,
all the maggots make their bodies twitch.
Next Halloween, if I'm not in jail,
I will urinate in every candy pail.
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 8:17 PM UTC
Sometimes
Things build up and get knocked down
Sometimes
I can't hold on to the cliff
My hands slip off
and I look at the water below
Sometimes the world looks too tough
The dirt is frozen
And the shovel won't go through
I try to hang on when it
gets too difficult
But sometimes I
go over the edge
My fingertips are slathered
in the butter that fills me with self-hatred
And fear
Fear is a lion
threatens to swallow me whole
bares its teeth and looks me in the eye
I run in every direction
but he's always there
And I can't get free
Sometimes
The world is too much
But I stand strong
And bury my feet-
just my feet-
in the ground and
stand
up
tall
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 14, 2015 at 1:40 PM UTC
See, I once read somewhere that
every moment is a poem --
if you just hold it right. So
I'm trying to hold this moment right, but
there's really no formula to this,
is there?
A poet can hold these moments right,
right?
No.
A poet can't hold a moment.
He can only pass his butterfingers through it
and watch the moment fade into the past.
He tries to make it last
but nothing lasts forever, so
he makes up the rest by drawing out words from his soul
because his soul has better memory
better holding than he does,
and he knows it.
So, you see,
a poem is not a moment that was held right.
A moment,
a moment in itself
is a poem.
A poem that was seen right.
Sep 22, 2013
Sep 22, 2013 at 8:23 AM UTC
Chapter One: Bozo & Bonzo
The Goatman was a fat guy who lived in the old part of town where everything looked tired. No one around there cared very much about anything.
There were two bums who liked to hang around the train tracks over there. We started calling them Bozo and Bonzo. Bonzo didn't mind because he loved The Who and Bonzo happened to be his favorite drummer. Bozo did mind and would curse and spit at us whenever we'd say the word. He told us to call him by his real name (Charlie) but we liked Bozo a lot more.
Anyway, my friend Lawrence and I would give Bonzo and Bozo a quarter each for a recounting of a recent sighting of the Goatman. One day after school we decided to drop by the tracks to see if they were around. They were, and they were both **** drunk and stunk like wet dogs do after they come inside from the rain. Bonzo asked me if I wanted a swig from his flask and I shook my head no.
"Fuckin' ***** I knew you weren't the real deal," Bonzo muttered as he swirled his flask in a circle, as if it were an expensive martini.
"I don't need your nasty backwash, thanks," I shot back.
"We want more information on the Goatman," Lawrence broke in.
"We have quarters," I added.
Lawrence took the 50 cents from his pocket and extended his arm. Bozo quickly snatched up the coins and laughed.
"You two hot for the Goatman or somethin'?"
"We're not gay for the Goatman," Lawrence says. "But we're definitely gay for finding out who the **** he actually is."
Bozo laughed some more but it came out as a hearty, borderline obese and drunk gargle/scoff.
"We saw him yesterday, believe it or not. I was takin' a **** in a bush across the street from him and he came amblin' out. I was too drunk to care much at the time but lookin' back, I shoulda been more scared," Bozo looked down at the worn boots on his feet and kicked the dirt. "He was carryin' a tiny plastic shoppin' bag, all neatly tied up. After he went back inside I crept over and took it and just fuckin' ran, man," Bozo seemed distressed just verbalizing his encounter.
"So what was inside?" I knew he was getting to it, but I needed to know.
"Just some candy wrapper. Nothin' but candy wrapper. Butterfingers', 3 Musketeers', Pay Days. You name it, he ate it," Bozo completely broke down laughing this time. I'm coming to realize he is the sort of person who thinks he's funnier than anyone else seems to.
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 11, 2017 at 9:58 AM UTC
Message, Dragon-Man, and Lady of the Night left the Dragon Tower to take care.
Message asked, Where will I sleep, and Lady of the Night asked, What do you mean where?
Just go back to where you came, and Message yelled, Where I came from was destroyed.
Dragon-Man soon realized that more tact would soon have to be employed.
You can stay with me, and both Message and Lady of the Night looked at him without stop.
Yeah I have a fully furnished two-bedroom, very comfortable co-op.
Message wearily asked Is this punishment for when I brought you in front of the Federation.
Dragon-Man said, No, consider it a very special Dahomeyian Rulership invitation.
Message desperately looked at Lady of the Night, but Lady of the Night looked away.
Message then said, Alright, I guess I could stay at you coupe for a couple of days.
Lady of the Night left, and Dragon-Man and Message walked onto a field.
Where is this, Message asked, and Dragon-Man replied, it is one of my hidden skills.
I play as part of a football league for fun, and we need an extra teammate.
Message enthusiastically shouted, I wish to play this toe-spectacle so it will be great.
Soon Dragon-Man’s team came, and he was simply Jonathan Maine, Quarterback.
But Message’s happiness did not equal her football skills, all of them she lacked.
Jonathan threw her passes, and she dropped each and every one.
The one pass she caught, was in the other teams end zone as an interception.
Message huffed at the end of the game, This toe spectacle is silly.
Dragon-Man said, From someone who holds a Dahomeyian Rulership, really?
You have the Death-Hand, but your Death-Hand is made up of Butterfingers.
Message stared at him with a glare that could melt ice, and made that look linger.
They soon pulled up to the co-op, and Message and Dragon-Man were walking.
He was surprised at the newfound ease, with which they were talking.
Message and Dragon-Man arrived at the door, and Dragon-Man held it for she.
He figured there was no harm in displaying a little chivalry.
The door was still opened, he was puzzled but thought that it was nothing.
Little did he know that on the other side, someone’s heart was racing.
So as Dragon-Man took the door and stepped inside, something happened that made him feel weak.
Because Message turned around and kissed him, and that kiss was not on the cheek.
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 4:38 PM UTC
My head feels like it’s holding a $100,00 vase that weighs 100 pounds with my slippery butter fingers and I haven’t been to the gym in weeks and my arms are getting tired
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 5:24 PM UTC
cue music,
don't ever lose the plot
because you've got
butterfingers.
Jan 30, 2022
Jan 30, 2022 at 8:57 AM UTC
Tweezers
buzz
"butterfingers"
and bulbous sneezer
that is touched
by a feather
to make it
sneeze
and tickle
the funnybone
Feb 17, 2024
Feb 17, 2024 at 3:40 PM UTC
Hello poetry is public matters Id say because I walk this streetlamp eating nutty butterfingers total blown down deeper than the throat young yella bone chicanos can fap maniacally as ***** ***** dancers watch me much much munch. I am Hello Poetry yet Id **** a microphone in the closet because my eggcrates ache grunge album that do not belong to Yyclef. I lied **** head but butter me up buttery enough that my under pants don't snag my inchy tagged and tickled gnome. "Oh Underpant we ****** Old Gregs crack pipes he leaves on cold countertops this month for this be Off season." I weep. Why not my pans or my pun tease these ******* growing mickey mouse thunb prints before my nuts become cheese. Good greaf I'ffy if me sneechy ***** beach teacher teaching toddler that the fingers thumper. Thump my thumb. Pinterest my buns before I *** critters all in tune to teepee creaking creeps kitchen chicken finger fetching fists before *** educari gets carry on that vibes to Marshals mashed potato. Mathers you do matter much. I love the gleam of your crust. Tears up to the Beautiful song that becomes songs and weeps once more.
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 10, 2019 at 12:18 PM UTC