"bubby" poems
Genderless with scraped knees and
A lipstick crush on one who bore the same name as me
Uncut brown hair untouched by bleach and
Stealing kisses from my best friend while my parents lied asleep
Lying in the grass with a picture book on faeries
Listening to the wind whistle through our dying trees
Jumping on the bed with my ***** and my bubby
Giggling hand over mouth when my mother called him "hubby"
Daisy chains and he loves me nots
Unbrushed teeth beginning to rot
***** shoes and ***** shoelaces
Visiting imagined places
Pink striped socks and a skirt to mismatch
Waiting for robins eggs to fall or to hatch
O, to be a child and to live within a dream
To lie awake at ten past eight, imagination like a stream
Mar 9, 2017
Mar 9, 2017 at 9:31 AM UTC
when i was born,
you cried to our grandmother
because you wanted a brother
and got stuck with me, instead.
and what a turn of events that became.
when i was a baby,
i busted the back of your teeth out
with a bottle of perfume,
most likely contributing to your
repetitive dreams of your teeth falling out.
sometimes i think of this when you say your "th"s.
when i was a child,
you would pick peppers with our dad
down the street and hold eating competitions
while i squashed berries in my little tyke car.
we played mouse trap on the floor.
when i completed my first decade of life,
you packed your bags, got on a bus,
got married, and were deployed for the first time.
i don't remember much of those days.
i only remember the first phone call,
"yours truly, from iraq."
when i was eleven,
you came home, war torn and ragged
and divorced from an army wife
who was never really a wife at all.
you moved on, in some ways
more than others.
you were different, changed.
when i became a preteen,
i met a girl, and looked at our mom
and i said, "he's going to marry that girl."
and marry her, you did,
and had your first child, too.
when i was a teenager,
you taught me important life lessons
like how i act when i'm drunk
and how to do sake bombs like i belong in asia.
you taught me to eat with chopsticks.
through babysitting, i learned to wait to have a child.
and now, at twenty years old, everything is different.
living down the street from me, then in the old house,
and finally in our mom's house with me,
the dynamics changed.
we became the best friends we'd
always tried to be, but were too distant
to maintain. we gained trust and inside jokes.
you finally gave approval of my boyfriend.
we wreaked havoc and stayed up way too late.
but then you moved five hundred miles away,
and every day my heart feels ripped into pieces.
i miss all the jokes, and you waking me up
to our favorite songs.
i miss my brother. i miss my bubby.
i hope one day one of us will go home.
Sep 6, 2012
Sep 6, 2012 at 2:30 AM UTC
He has one eye missing
And a patchwork ****
I tell everybody he’s winking,
That he has one eye shut.
He’s lost a lot of hair
And he no longer sits up
Like he used to before.
But whenever I see him
I am never in doubt
He is still the bear I adore.
Bubby Bear is a very good bear
The best friend there ever could be.
He sleeps by my side every night
And Bubby never argues with me.
When things get too scary
Or out of control I go and
Grab up Bubby and hold him.
He’s always warm and he’s
Sympathetic, and so I never
Feel the need to scold him.
I can always talk to him
And explain things out
Because he is so very patient.
I think it is because he
Is such a very wise bear
And always there waiting.
Bubby Bear is the finest bear
He always right beside me.
I don’t have to worry that he
He might want to abandon me.
Some people like to tease me
About the way Bubby looks
And make fun of his condition.
But they have to admit to me
They don’t have a friend who gives
One hundred percent permission,
And never gets tired of them
Or tattles their confidences
Or gets bored with what they say.
That’s why Bubby is my best friend
Always was, always will be
All night long and every single day.
Bubby Bear is a very good bear
He puts up with my every whim.
I feel sorry for anyone who
Doesn’t have a friend like him.
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 14, 2016 at 8:27 PM UTC
I woke up this morning, and no I am not singing a blues song....
There is something big and white in a small room
I had a torrid few minutes trying to recall...
re-fri-ger-a-tor
a step forward
ouch! My kneecap hurts, not fun.
I learnt the refrigerator although white
is not as soft as a pillow or a cloud
I managed to make the room safe
by pushing the refrigerator
out of the window.
Whoops.....sorreee!
there is something under it outside, round and red
a volley ball is round and red
but this round thing is gurgling
and very red indeed
except for the things like lips that are going bluey-grey
Wow the world is fun with severe memory loss
and a laissez-faire attitude to exploring things.
Bubby, my neighbor gave me a present
it is heavy, has a handle and a little lever on the side
safe......fire.....safe....fire......
It fits in my mouth, I wonder if ..
BANG!!....
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011 at 3:12 PM UTC
i read your poems, but i can't read you.
what's the point?
other boys, they call me pretty-
well,
sometimes they do.
but still,
other boys, they touch my hand,
they like my hair,
they think i'm funny.
but they're not you,
and that rips me up.
the boy who once said i'm not his type
doesn't think
you are good
for me.
but
he doesn't know you.
he doesn't know
your pretty
folded
inside out
folded
right side out,
folded
into the pit
of my stomach, giving me butterflies.
oh, my god, i think this is what love feels like
when you’re stuck on the rewind
of a cassette tape,
because the player
doesn’t auto-stop,
and you don't feel like getting up,
so the tape snaps or tangles or knots.
either way it can’t be the same ******* song,
it sounds too different to be.
warbled.
but the beat is the same.
it starts off slow then speeds up
as the eyes get bluer
and her cheeks get warmer.
tha. thump. tha. thump.
tha thump. tha thump.
thathumpthathumpthathump.
if you love me, baby, just say so.
because i’m so brand new,
i’m so full of darkness.
you’re so ruggedly smooth,
so full of lightning.
i’m so brand new,
that i can’t read you like your poems.
i’m so full of darkness,
that i can’t feel loved anymore.
but, baby, baby, bubby.
i could love you like a poem.
i’ll be the body electric.
(i love as hard as a whitman)
i’ll be the master, the dream, the fool.
(i love as illogically as a kipling)
i’ll be immortal.
(i’ll love as sweetly as a dickinson)
i’ll be everything
you’ve ever read about and wanted,
if you’d just come clean.
so if you love me
if you love me
come clean.
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 9:42 PM UTC
Your leaving. Your going. Going to serve your country. Going to serve the Red, White, and Blue. My brother i love you. Don't leave me. You have been there for me through everything. Grandmas death, moms breakdown, soccer tryouts. Everything. You've been there for me since I was born. I will miss you. I don't know what I'd do if something ever happened to you. I watch the videos on Youtube of those soldiers coming home and surprising their families.. I don't want to be that little sister that hasn't seen her brother in two or three years and he just shows up during her school day in front of everyone or that girl that think her big brother that was always there cant be at her graduation. I wanna know your safe and nothing will happen to you. If I freaked about your motorcycle accident what makes you think I could go two or three years at a time without you and without knowing you WILL come back. I miss you already. Don't leave me. Please. I can't take this world anymore. they tell me you will be okay and that you will be fine and nothing will happen. I don't believe them. How do they know you'll be okay.. How do you know..? Stay. Friend. Best friend. I love you bubby. Don't join up... Please...
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 11:49 AM UTC
Imagine this centered: And lunch with Kirk and Uncle Bubby
Even the birds are staying home today
Those flocks and flights whose accustomed spirals
Make animate the skies are grounded by frost
And leave the waters of the marsh in peace
Young men uniformed in Nomex 1 and beards
Spiral into Hollier’s Cajun Kitchen
From the barges and the maintenance shops,
Cracking units, pipelines and hotshot rigs
They are smart, tough, and strong; they fuel the world
And pose for pictures with the concrete pig 2
1 Nomex is a flame-resistant material developed by DuPont and is worn by workers in many industries, especially petro-chemicals. The man or woman in Nomex keeps our cars, our lights, and our lives functioning.
2 There are in fact two concrete pigs outside Hollier’s (pronounced “O-Yays,” says Uncle Bubby).
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 8:54 PM UTC
Its raining baby outside
umbrellas wont help you
nor will your tears
surely not your fears
baby girl pack your bags
not more than a single memory
okay just maybe 2
flashlights baby get them too
the wind is mad
its fighting you
don't fight back
just hide yourself
The oceans are marching
with armies of wind
but nations of faith
stand up still
charge up baby
yourself and phones too
stay calm baby
God heard yours and mine too
crackers and cookies
keep them too
mummy and bubby
hug them too
Whistles and voices
Save them too
Keep speaking
Let me hear your noise
Storms may be loud
And oceans may be sound
But none can bring you down
For hope you prevail
This will all pass
I promise you that
like me and you
hurricanes die too
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 11, 2017 at 11:32 AM UTC
lost in the world, losing myself.
the first thought of you didn't help.
what will i teach her?
don't even know myself.
what will i give to her?
will my love be enough for her?
the reality of you came quick,
but reality forgot to kick in.
dealing with the world,
dealing with myself, as well
i found heaven in your eyes,
you brought heaven to this hell.
i take care of me so that i am able to take care of you.
i value me because you see the value in me.
i love me because you love me.
and i love you. i will always love you.
and because i love you,
i will treat you with care and affection.
i will speak positive over everything that you are.
you are kept & all your days will be full of complete bliss.
you will never grow weary,
you will not be mislead or insane
nor will you be torn down & content.
you will rise, always.
you saved me & i owe you my life, my love.
i owe you a life of meaning
full of peace, love & happiness.
i owe you wisdom & understanding.
bubby, i cant imagine a life outside of you.
my sanity relies on you.
my peace of mind and pieces of my life requires you.
thank you for showing me how true love feels.
how true love is.
thank you for keeping me,
without you i wouldn't know how to keep me.
my entire existence lives off of yours.
im just basically trying to say that you are my world,
and without you i would be lost.
i would not know how to love,
i would not know that there is love.
you are love & you are the most beautiful being i have ever laid eyes on.
the way you're so passionate about everything,
the way you are so challenging, and the way it annoys me but i wouldn't want to have it any other way.
you are so unique,
so full of energies that make others feel.
feelings of warmth and feelings of light.
never let the strains of the world take away all that you are.
please, don't allow it to make you hard.
stay soft & stay true
stay you.
i am here, i am there, i am everywhere.
i never leave you.
i am in the stars.
i am where you need me,
i am everywhere you are.
my promise to you,
to keep you.
to grow you.
to be a light to shine upon you.
to protect you,
to be true to you.
to be there for you,
when you rebel, and that you will..
i will hold my peace because i know.
and because i know me, i will know you.
and because i know you i know that the world can be trying,
but all that matters is your happiness and your peace of mind.
i know that we have to stay pure, and treat ourselves and others alike
; with kindness, care and genuine love.
we have to stay positive, and always see light in the darkest of things.
because, if you can make it through the night there is always a brighter day.
love, mom.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 10:15 AM UTC
You hurt me bad, mommy
I thought you would never know
When you cut your wrist, mommy
I did not wwant to let you go
Mommy, why did you do this
You know I love you so
When you hurt ***** mommy
You hurt me to
Bubby ran away, mommy
He couldn't stand the pain
So many things
You never took the blame
You took it out on them
When things didn't go your way
I had to be there
I just wnanted to stop their pain
I missed out on so much
Things I can not get back
For what you put us through
It hurt to love you
To see you drunk
Having men in bed
Not to know my father
Thinking hurt my head
The lies you told
I still hear today
What hurts the most
Your voice is not there to stay
Actions speak louder then words
Yours speaks loud and clear
I'm ok now, mommy
I forgave all those things
Taking care of you
Not a chore, but a full time job
You didn't see my tears
You never felt my fears
When I cried at night
You wouldn't open your eyes
Took care of myself
You never knew the pain I felt
I'm sick of feeling this way
There's nothing you can say
Somethings seperating us
You can't make it better or ok
I was the mom
You were the child
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 5:56 AM UTC
Bubby, all I needed was you to take me away
You disappeared without me,
It's been two years since you left
You have your own family now
Two gorgeous daughters, and I wish they new me
My heart is coming through my chest, I don't think I'll have one soon
Bubby, all I wanted was to see you one more time
You didn't care though
Remember the day you told me to jump again? You said I was nothing
And im starting to feel that way.
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 10:52 PM UTC
He was a beautiful person.
The room lit up when he entered it.
He was a beautiful person.
My world got darker when he left it.
Feb 23, 2017
Feb 23, 2017 at 11:21 PM UTC
I read my poems to you and you got mad.
Why?
Do you not like the truth?
It’s just my life as youth.
Maybe you know how I feel just you don’t want to agree, only want to deny.
Why?
The truth was only a sliver told.
The rest should naturally unfold.
Did you not like what I said about you and mommy?
Why?
You didn’t tell her you loved her. Right?
Your madness was just your hidden fright.
How about my story of neglect? You like when inside I cry.
Why?
Do you love me?
Mommy would tell me she loved me. Right?
Bubby read my poem. He felt what I felt.
Why?
Because he cares for me.
Please, listen to me.
You always wonder why I don’t tell you what I feel.
Don’t ask why, Daddy. I will freely answer:
Your lack of understanding; {I’m mature and responsible}
Your forceful demanding; {I won’t tell you.}
Your pessimist girlfriend; {Why does she do that?}
Your prejudice and judgements; {I’m pansexual...}
You don’t know me, Daddy. {Leave me alone!}
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 11:37 AM UTC
I don’t pick someone and wish to be a part of them
Not like I am right now with him
I don’t usually find someone who stands out in such a
Overwhelming way, in a way I feel so sure about.
But he makes me love me, and love who he is
But I found out what I thought I was prepared for
And the worst was a little bit
Satisfying in the strangest way
She is one of my very closest friends
She is bubby, beautiful and bright
And I love to be in the light she cast upon the world
She glides, hides from nothing and is fearless
And he likes her.
If I were a boy I would too
Just like I like you
But I’m transparent in a way
You see right through me
And although it makes me sad you don’t see
A light in me
You see the same light I see in her
And if you are so blind or you feel my light isn’t right
Maybe I should step back from yours
What is funny is we are so similar
How could I love and appreciate you
Without loving parts of myself?
But I understand
She is great
Love to love, love to hate
Life is such a funny thing
May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013 at 1:05 AM UTC
Is now the time to be okay?
Or am I allowed to lay broken, completely shattered at your holy feet?
Do you want me to stand, straighten my spine and plaster a dazzling smile on my pale face, spread it slowly across my chapped lips and laugh my bubby laugh as I throw my head back into thin air?
What is it you desire dear?
You wish for me to put on my best dress, put on those heels and strut around linked to your arm?
Of course I'll smile and wave.
Who am I but your golden little prize?
Yes, I'll drink some more gin and sniff a little coke, anything to keep you happy my dear, anything to feel alive.
Anything to numb the pain from the bruise on my back you gave me just last night.
A bright red cardigan for my birthday?
Oh yes, of course to hide my battered veins.
Just a little ****** just a little to sing the children goodnight?
"To put a smile on your face you don't want to give them a fright"
Silly me, I never think of these things.
What would I do without you, my love?
Before you come in and give me the pills, read my letter.
Don't tell the girls.
I'm tired now dear, tired of breathing.
I don't like the pills, I don't like the drugs.
It seems to me this is the only way out.
I'll have to be quick, seems I might have tied the rope too tight.
Tell the girls I love them, I couldn't have loved anything more.
Tell Mom I'm sorry and that I wish I could have given her reason to love me more.
One request, before I step off this chair?
Bury me next to Daddy and my brother,
darling remember me there.
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014 at 5:10 PM UTC
A state of being
A petite girl so cute and bubby she deserves an equally precious descriptor.
I met this girl at the show who was just so Shmoe turned me inside out and I want some more.
{sush-mo}
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 5, 2016 at 4:43 AM UTC
This is a poem I wrote for Fr. Raph’s 90th birthday this spring. Last night - 29 October 2020 - he died truly in the fullness of years, in the prayerful company of his brothers at the Abbey, and so I re-send this as my poor valedictory for him on his happiest birthday of all:
Father Raphael Barousse, OSB
Abbey St. Joseph, Covington, Louisiana
Monk, Missionary, Muleskinner, Writer, Teacher,
Scholar, Raconteur, Uncle Bubby,
Friend
To God, Who Gives Joy to Our Youth
For Reverend Raphael Barousse, OSB
Father Raph - Uncle Bubby - on His Birthday
Introibo ad altare Dei
Ad Deum qui laetificat juvenitutem meam
You look into the mirror and ask yourself
“Who is that old man staring back at me?”
Your friends tell you you’re lookin’ good - for your age
And your uncooperative body in protest creaks
But you and all of them are wrong because
You still approach the Altar as a child
As you once were, and are, and will be forever
For God will have it so, will have you so -
Enchanted by His magic - a little boy
A little boy in Sunday shoes and shirt
Who hears his Mama whispering to him, “Don’t squirm!”
As the Mass hums through a summer morning
Until that moment when you encounter Him:
The universe spirals through its sunlit dance
Creation spins around, in, and down
Eternity circles the paten and cup
Miraculum
Eternity circles the paten and cup
Around and out and up, Creation spins
Through its sunlit dance the universe spirals
And only little children understand that
And only little children are invited
And so God gives joy to your forever-youth
And your forever-youth gives joy to God
Oct 30, 2020
Oct 30, 2020 at 2:45 PM UTC
So Bubby said that on graduation night
He and Jamby was gonna leave the gym
Toss their rented caps and gowns to some friends
Rev up their Harleys, and leave forever
This little town, where nothin’ ever happens
They had made their plans, you see, real good plans
They’d pack what they needed in their saddle bags
And thunder night and day to Florida
Because there was good jobs waitin’ in Florida
Away from this town, where nothin’ ever happens
They wasn’t gonna stop except for gas
Gas and eats and beer and the American road!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
They wasn’t gonna really stop until
Their front wheels touched the cold Atlantic
Not like in this town, where nothin’ ever happens
But they didn’t.
And next year Bubba rolled
His pickup on that curve next to the school
This little town, where nothin’ ever happens
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 3:42 PM UTC