Your shirt was checked.
I hate checked shirts
I thought as I noticed you alone
In the corner with a coffee.

You must have left whilst I was engrossed
In Bryson's Europe.
Sorry I didn't notice;
Belgium is beautiful at this time of year.
I was dancing through the starlight streets
In a dress
I never wear dresses.

A coffee later
I am in Germany
Bored. Not my scene.
A boy rallies round on his scooter
Indoors!
You walk in. Again?!

Two coffees in one day
You must be tired
A briefcase - are you a worker
Like me
Kept away from December's festivities
I catch your eye
Awkward in these situations

You are sat opposite me
Purpose?
Bryson is touring Cologne. For once it sounds awful
But the 60 minute mark draws near
Though it rains outside
I must leave you here in the warmth
Back to a lonely work in the lonely rain.

Perhaps I could smile at you
As I close the door.

This past year was a ******
Looking back, it kinda makes me wonder
How it came and went and **** near took everyone under
Its crazy out here and even though it was tough
I'ma run it back, this is 2016 Rap Up

Denver won the Super Bowl, Cam came up short
Leo got his Oscar and El Chapo got caught
They got mosquitoes with the Zika, so don't get bit
Peyton and Kobe Bryant both called it quits
I gotta admit, Fam, I get mad as ****
When I swipe my card and they say "No, You gotta use your chip"
**** Daniel, "Hamilton" was lit
Who let Kanye West get 53 million in debt?
And Rihanna went to work without taking a pause
ISIS popping and y'all worried about bathroom laws?!?
Come on, fam
How that sound?
So we out here standing up
Just so y'all can sit down?
Warriors went on a streak and then they got served
Panda was a hit and we couldn't understand the words
Huh, and Khaled kept snapping
These youngins keep mumbling
I guess y'all call that rapping
I've seen "Stranger Things", come on dude
Y'all out here shooting gorillas and punching kangaroos
Janet Jackson pregnant at 50, dog
So for you ol' broads, there might be some hope for y'all
I ain't throwing shade, it ain't that deep
**** I don't want nobody out here ******* with me in these streets
Then Birdman ran up on Charlamagne
And Lil' Wayne still not 'puttin' respect on his name'
Michael left Kelly trying to get paid
But the world stopped when Beyonce dropped Lemonade
She slayed, and over-shared
And ya'll still trying to find out about 'Becky with the good hair.'
As far as questions, I got one
"Hey Hov and B, is y'all finished or is y'all done?"
Son, I don't know if it was fake
I know KD did the running man challenge all the way to Golden State
The whole year made no sense
Dog, we live in a world without Muhammad Ali and no Prince
Then Gucci came home
And he looked so different y'all was like, "naw, that's got to be a clone"
Y'all was glued to y'all phones
And LeBron got it done for the Cavs and brought the chip back home
Snapchatting all over the place
I swear to God, if I see one more girl with a dog on her face
It was a sad year for sure
Instead of being woke though
Y'all wanted to play Pokemon Go!
And rap got weird, should we be concerned?
Young **** in a dress, Yung Joc got a perm
And everybody was in the Presidential race
Ryan Lochte, Oh he gets the Michael Phelps' face
Game and Meek beefing, Hillary and Trump
Kap took a knee, T.I., Brad Pitt got dumped
And Trump said he going to build a wall on the border
Ya'll will probably go to flip bottles water
The snow storm had the East underground
The kept shooting black men but wouldn't shoot killer clowns
They kept telling us to use our voices
Knowing **** well they ain't really give us no choices
Get an iPhone with no headphone cord
Or get a Galaxy and go and meet the Lord
See they go low, and we go high
You only got two friends. Why you trying to go Live?
I'ma miss the Obamas, I don't wanna see them go
My prayers to everyone that we lost in Orlando
The Oscars were so white they had to get Chris Rock
And the album of the year had to be Anderson.Paak
Cubs finally Won, Usain was on fire
Melania Trump hired the wrong ghostwriter
I'm petty with the manners
'Cuz I think Kim K. got robbed by Joanne the Scammer
Ooouuu
Biters keep testin' me
They making rappers, but they ain't got the recipe
Huh, Yeah that's facts
Shout to Young M.A. for bringing New York back
And I hear y'all talking about "Kanye is fine"
Well to us it look like Kanye done lost his mind
Cowboys kept ballin', them boys in the zone
Bryson Tiller came along, kept telling us "Don't"
I'm highly favored
I clap back on my haters
I be the beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes
The mannequin challenge, oh, that's how y'all feel?
The World moving dog, we can't just stand still
Beyonce made sure y'all got in formation
One time for Phife Dawg from the Zulu Nation
Did Drake bag J.Lo? I say kinda
But y'all was all up in arms over Rob and Chyna
And that's a new level of female pimping
Biggest L of the year goes to Hillary Clinton
You ask me, man, I thought she had it made
You ask me now, ****, I think we all got played
Another sign of the times
And now the whole World laughing at us, sounding like ChewbaccaMom
2016 was a bully and a punk
On top of that, now we gotta deal with Donald Trump?
Pardon me, as I vent
Bro, we made a reality star the President
And that just makes me sick
Talking about, "We gotta give him a chance." Naw
I ain't got to give him ****
It's going to be hard to cope
Because you can't have progress, dog, if you don't have hope
More pros, less rookies
And if America's ours, how we let it get grabbed by the *****?
They say I sound mad, off the cuff
Oh, I sound mad? Y'all don't sound mad enough
So from here on out, we gotta set the tone
Y'all protect yourself and protect your own
And way too many people got called back home
2016 you can go, and I'm glad you're gone
Felt like a long bad dream
I'm wishing you love and life, Welcome to 2017.

Skillz 12/31/2016.

Tory Lanez
Drake
The Weeknd
PartyNextDoor
Post Malone
ILoveMakonnen
RDGLDGRN
Kyle
G-Eazy
Rae Sremmurd
Future
Travis Scott
Lana Del Rey
Bryson Tiller
Jhene Aiko
Cal Scruby
Twenty-one pilots
The Neighbourhood
Zayn Malik
Jimi Hendrix
Nina Simone
Damian Marley ft Nas
Stephen Marley ft Wyclef Jean ft Nina Simone (Song:keeper of the flame)
No-Maddz (Song: Shotta)
Jesse Royal

Myla and Bryson
I never would have named him Bryson anyway
Imagined them playful, smiling, loving
an essence of us
Imagined green grass and a fence to keep
The dog in
Imagined late nights, tv is the only light, as we cuddle
Shining on our family
Happiness
But there is no Myla or Bryson
Nobody’s playful, smiling, loving
There is no dog
There is no family

A Simple Walkway
By this device just an old ordinary taken for granted side walk there is no place it doesn’t lead
Hops scotch any one key skates on your shoes how they let you zoom oh the prints left there
A bike for Christmas feel daddy’s strong hands hear his feet running to keep up ever feel so freed
Remember when you were there playing mother walked by her perfume caused womanly fantasies

Up town on Saturday shopping day take the sidewalk get a haircut one two Jims the other to Dressings
Montgomery wards that great wide white stair way sports one floor clothes on the other
Get dolls toy guns all kind of assorted toys at Ben Franklin if not there find Woolworth’s full blessings
Whatever, hurry you know the Roseland will be starting the afternoon matinee action packed thrills

Live out the movies Carl Wessel Western Auto arrows fifty cents Coast to Coast BB guns
Can’t afford a bow take a mop stick and cut an inner tube into a strip nail on both ends watch her fly
If you’re not allowed to have even an air rifle use more inner tube a forked stick wa la slingshot what fun
Grocery shopping great on second St Piggly Wiggly or Wempen’s on the alley up from Bryson’s garage

Need shoes Summer’s store or Duez get a pair of Buster Browns this follow the side walk your welcome
If you just need a repair Ray does fine work Pen well’s store has all the dresses guaranteed no guessing
Hustle and bustle going on all over town activity nonstop great foot traffic go to town the past will come
You will stir up endless memories in this new time that could use those sweet happy times at the five
and Dime

I sit sadly, a row away.
I glance at him, every once in a while,
Hoping for something to happen.
Sometimes he smiles at me,
Says something funny.
I just long to have a conversation,
And maybe, just be friends.
She told me that he's a *******.
I kind of believe her.
I can't let myself be damaged by him,
I'm already hurt enough.
I wish I was cool.

I once wondered if I would ever have a Bryson Tiller moment...
That “I'm back and I'm better" vibe.
In hindsight, I think, “Wait, I've woken up every morning, right?
Shouldn't I start by thanking God that I'm even alive?"

“Tomorrow never comes", some say.
“Live everyday like it's your last."
Well I agree that we live in today,
But I will not let my future regret its past.

Take every mistake, every moment you wish that was not,
And look at it in a different light.
If you had not walked down that path
You could have suffered a more dangerous plight.

At times its the decisions we don't make that matter most,
For they shape what could have been.
What's more important is whether what was not
Would have been a blessing or a sin.

Tobacco tar
stuck like the scars
from my tattoos:

pain elective
and
permanent

like we like the
mimetic representational
citations of Bryson Tiller
and Drake,

what hails so merrily
your unsaid name?

Scratch,
and it's quid pro..
but we all know
that fleas do as they please.

Lucid and clued in and
yet I'm glued to the screen
which gives birth to the babies
and life to the scream

****
I really should pick up a book
to
remember what words look like when
they're written.

so I did,
Bill Bryson's
(Notes from a small island)

Somewhere out there an enquiring
mind
is asking questions

don't allow your mind to stagnate
take it off the leash before it's too late
and you end up
glued to the screen.

I love you. I'm high and you're the only thing on my mind. I want to kiss you and make everything okay for you. the thing about you, Brynn is that you put up so many walls. I want to tear them down and get to know every part of you. like what do you think about when you're tired but you just can't sleep? what makes you smile when you're having a bad day? do you like forehead kisses as much as I do? do you see crying as a sign of weakness or as strength? is it hard to make you cry? what are you the most insecure about? I'm low key afraid of the dark. did you know that? I'm insecure about everything. Do you ever feel like the world would be better off without you? one day at lunch, on a pretty day, I want to lay on the ground and look at the clouds with you. you make me weak in my knees. this is so mushy. I'm so high. I did like 3 lines. It's hard for you to say things sometimes, but I hope you know that I love mushy **** and it actually really  makes my day. you make my day. You can tell me anything. id never judge you or laugh at you for saying something to me. nothing is ever too gay to say. I promise, babe. All of my thoughts are super gay all the time. if/when I give this to you. I want you to answer all the questions. I'm writing this because I want to know the answers. I had a great time talking with you Saturday night, but sadly it's made me miss you so much more now that I can't talk to you. it scares me that we'll be off for TWO WHOLE WEEKS for Christmas. I really wish I was allowed to talk to you. I really miss you. you know sometimes I get anxiety because I'm afraid you'll just get tired of me or fall out of love with me. I feel like once I get attached to people they always drop me.

I've been writing this over a span of a few days. it's 2:23 am on November 25. So its tuesday. I had a good day today, but around 9:30pm i had a mood swing and started feeling really strange. i isolated myself from everyone and kinda just stared at the ceiling in the dark. i want to be with you when you read this. PINEAPPLE. i miss you so much. But anyway, i went to sleep and woke up around 11:30 then got in a twitter fight with some random guy. I already felt like total **** so i decided to text an old friend, who has insomnia so i knew she would be awake. By this time, it was like 1:30. She basically told me that she's trying to cut the negativity out of her life, and im just a big ball of depression so i should leave her alone. Then i started sobbing? Whoops. I realized that i kind of don't have anyone. Brennan is asleep, you're punished. My other "friends" are sleeping, but either way i don't want to bother them with my ****. I feel like such a burden sometimes, ya know? I'm so sorry that im depressed. Do you remember when we first started talking about maybe getting together i said that i'm too mentally unstable to be in a relationship? I may have been right. But i love you, Brynn. I ******* love you. I'm just really afraid of you getting tired of my ****. I'm such a drag when i'm depressed. Please stick with me. I think we can last. Let me tell you- i just need a hug or a kiss sometimes... Literally i think that people hate me if they dont remind me that they don't. I'm so needy. I'm sorry. I don't know if im going to let you read this. but you're my girlfriend, we're supposed to share stuff, right? I'm only typing this long *** thing because i can't text or call you. i just have so many thoughts goodnight, babe.

today's my brothers 18th birthday. we bought and smoked some cigarettes and ate pizza. it was a grand ole time. we drove past Panera Bread and Great American Cookie on the way to dominos pizza. I was hit really hard with a wave of missing you. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you? I hope things are going well living with your mom. I wish I knew how you were doing.

I feel like you're just going to be really overwhelmed when you read this. it's so long but I just like to get my thoughts out. I've been checking and refreshing twitter like a mad person. I just want to talk to you.

Happy thanksgiving, *****. I'm in Mississippi. I read the whole book on the way over here. dumb ***** wouldn't let me drive. That was one of the best books I've ever read. it was kind of like soft ****. I loved it. when they broke up and she was with that bryson guy it really ****** me up. but there was a happy ending, so that was pretty great. I texted Zachi for a few hours last night. I kinda just vented about you. it was pretty wild. idk if I'd let you read it... ****. I wish I knew how you were doing.