"brielle" poems
it's not me
pushing you
away except
it actually is me
it's the kind of
morning that the
wind is blowing
just right so that
the open flag
flutters in front
of the window
where i can see it
the kind of morning
i don't need coffee
and i try not to
think about
it too
much
*(i just wanted to
be the girl in
an owl city song)*
pacing back and
forth in straight
lines and gritting
my teeth against
an onslaught of
small town gunfire
*(i'll bet annmarie
never had scars
or scratches
brielle didn't cry
and shake for
hours thinking
how to end it all
it turned out
okay for anna
and vienna probably
knew how to dance
between the snowflakes
and underneath her regret)*
i've never been good at
drowning out thoughts
they just get louder the
longer time rolls on
good at rolling out
cookie dough and
good at drowning
in dishwater when
the brownie batter's
baking and the bowl
needs washing when
nobody's looking
*(i've had moments
here and there in golden
sneakers and navy blue
lace covered dresses
but i'm not the girl
in an owl city song
not something worth
writing dreamy poems
about not so lovestruck you
replace your words with dada)*
girls like me wear flannel
khaki too much day old
eyeliner too many day old
scones have half heads of weird
colored hair and spend valentines
day alone watching tv
so maybe why i'm bitter
as the inside of a lemon is
that i'll never be able to change
to someone drenched in verbena
spinning through the sunny
skies between your fingers
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 11, 2017 at 9:39 PM UTC
I hate you
Yet I dream about you
And when I awaken in the middle of the night
I ache for you
And when the morning sun shines through the cracks of my window in the early day
Deep down inside me
I wish you had stayed
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 8:11 PM UTC
I love you deeper than the ocean,
farther than fish can swim,
I love you as high as the stars beyond our sky,
oh the happiness that you bring.
Love is such a complicated thing
I just could never understand,
I'd never waste my time on any boys
or let them ever hold my hand.
When I look into your eyes
its not like the others I've ever seen,
when I look in your eyes I see the whole world, I feel as if I'm in a dream.
Is this real? Is it true? I can't even comprehend,
all I know is I dream of being in your arms until the very end.
Time ticks on, the days drag on, and I grow fonder of who you are,
in this dark black sky that is my life, you're the one and only shining star
who guides me through my times of sadness, hopelessness, and despair,
truly without any doubts,
you're the only one who cares.
I've never had a man look at me the way that you do,
it seems as if I'm seeing the world as if it is brand new.
As I lay down before I go to sleep,
I pray to the god above us that my heart, you'll always keep
. I felt like a flower in a vase,
slowly but surely withering away,
but you are the water that was poured into me,
and kept me alive, don't you see?
without you, love, I could not be,
my darling without you, I wouldn't breathe.
without you my love, surely I would cry,
my darling without you, surely I would die.
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 3:43 PM UTC
It's said if you get hit by a High -speed train
The body-bag needed to house your remains is no bigger than the one needed to fit your sandwich in at lunch
As I pass Brielle and South Amboy, Perth Amboy and Secaucus at 80 mph
I stare out into the swamps festering with industrial run-off
And the bombed- out buildings of once thriving towns
I get the feeling that I want to return to the earth
People tell me a lot of things
They don't ask much
They tell me I can be successful at anything I choose
They throw around words like charismatic and love and passionate
They tell me that I have the mark of Cain
They fail to realize
Charisma is for the talentless
Passion is blood on your hands at the end of the day
And love is blood and war and a dark place and feeling that keeps you in bed
Some call this depression
But to me it's seeing my world as it is
Not as it might be
I tell anyone who will listen
I can't get over you
Guess I'm hoping for one final piece of sage advice
But the blind are the blind for some reason or other
And I can't look at myself in
The mirror these days
I've never made a habit of Walking on the tracks
It's not that I want to be in a zip-lock body-bag but I don't own a gun
I've smoked enough *** for five lifetimes
And I don't care that I have never seen the Pacific
Water is just water anyway Right?
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 31, 2013 at 1:34 AM UTC
Out there somewhere
There's a girl with soft hair
That falls halfway down her spine
She dances with the stars until they're aligned
She sings with the moon
Convinced that the sun will come back soon
But she's always left in the darkness
She says "that's ok"
Because things always go astray
Yeah sometimes things get in the way
She's innocent and unaware
Quite frankly she doesn't care
She just want to be free
That's why baby lives for the
lsd
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 4, 2013
Dec 4, 2013 at 10:14 PM UTC
And in that moment
When I realized
That we stayed up all night
Until the break of dawn
Lying in that hotel bed
Drinking jack
Smoking cigarettes and bowls
Sharing our deepest secrets
Our hopes
Our dreams
Our fears
Making love
Then falling asleep in eachother's arms
That's when I knew
I found my eternity
That's when I knew
What all those love songs were talking about
That's when I knew
I was long gone
Lost In his eyes for good
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 10:56 PM UTC
I'm awake
Its nearly 2:30 am
And once again, I dreampt of you
Your eyes
They will always possess me
And I can feel your voice
Giving me chills, flooding me,
And piercing through my black soul,
Full of sorrow and full of despair.
By this, you create a feeling of ecstacy
Swimming through my veins
And shattering my bones
This is why I awake at nearly 2:30 am
Simply just to write songs about you
Simply just to get you off my mind.
Inhale me,
Let me takeover your every breath.
Flooding into your lungs,
You are now mine.
Surely until I fade away
Into thin air
And leave nothing but ashes
On the ground.
Spill out everything you're filled with;
Who knows whether your glass is half empty
Or half full
Now its on the ground
And that's okay,
Because I'm on my hands and knees
Cleaning it all up.
You remind me of stain glass windows in a church;
Some see your beauty, on the inside and out,
But they only notice when the sun gleams through your colors and cracks,
Showing off such vivid and lovely colors.
Some people,however,
They don't see your beauty. The can't fathom it.
They're the ones who throw rocks at you,
Leaving you shattered into
A million pieces
On the floor,
Not able to be loved,
Not able to be appreciated.
But, while you're that shattered mess
On the floor,
Let it be known
That I am the one
On my knees
With my fingers cut and bleeding
Picking up every shattered or broken
Piece of you
And I will mend you back together
I will make you feel whole
I will make you feel special
Because you are.
Look me in the eyes;
I'm not sure whether they remind me
Of the sound of the rippling waves in the salty ocean on a hot summer day
Or the smell of the smoking flames of a bonfire on a warm july night
Either way,
They set my soul at ease.
Things are impermanent.
We all know this too well.
Roaring fires turn to embers
Embers turn to ashes
That soon blow away into thin air.
This is why our love is not like fire.
Our love cannot be described.
"Nothing lasts forever"
Our love
Is nothing
Our love
Is forever.
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 6:09 PM UTC
Where was that man
To make you feel strong?
Where was that man
To teach you right from wrong?
Where was that man
When you were feeling so sad?
Where is that man
Who goes by the name "dad" ?
He's not a dad
He's a low life
A loser
Addicted to drugs
Come on dad
I just wanted a ******* hug
Is it really that hard to love your own daughter?
You just walked away
You forgot all about her
But you don't care
Its all about you
This is your fault
These are the cards that you drew
You made me feel worthless
You should have made me feel proud
But instead
You didn't make a sound.
So have fun popping your pills
Not paying any bills
I hope one day you'll see
What you could have
Made your life out to be
We could be happy dad
You and I
But instead you tore my down and made me cry
And I don't do with tears
Tears are for the weak
But I just wanted your love and acceptance
That's all I truly seek
But its done its over the war had been won
So whatever you're doing wherever you are
I hope you are having fun
And maybe one day you look up to the sky
And you think of your children
You decided to leave behind
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 11:03 PM UTC
If the sun didn't shine
If the moon didn't beam
If the salty ocean didn't gleam
If the rain didn't drizzle
From out of a cloud
If the peak of a thunderstorm
Didn't make a sound
If lightening didn't strike
If snow wasn't white
If the stars in the black sky
Gave off no light
If I still had you
None of this would ever even phase me
You keep me sane
Yet you drive me crazy
If the earth didn't spin
If the galaxies didn't go on forever
Our souls
Could still never be dissevered
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 10:23 PM UTC
Either way,
I'll be smothering
My lungs in smoke
& crying myself to sleep
2013 © O'Brien Devin Brielle
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 11:02 PM UTC
Happiness spreads.
Her little light creates a warmth.
It fills my heart.
Her hand is enclosed in mine.
I squeeze tightly, to convey my love.
Her mind though, couldn't comprehend the weight of this action.
When she's sad,
her beautiful blue eyes become a little more grey.
I wish to never see her eyes this way again.
Vowing to spend my days with my little blonde girl.
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 4:28 PM UTC