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"bitten" poems
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to fall so hard I wasn’t supposed to call out for your arms in the night And my lips weren’t supposed to search for yours As if they would actually be there. I wasn’t supposed to nuzzle into my pillow at night pretending that your hands were nestled in my hair I wasn’t supposed to make small talk just so I could hypnotize myself with that something in your eyes I wasn’t supposed to wake up cold in the gray morning with the strong urge to be bruised and bitten In fits of slow, languid passion. Unreal how our bodies match and move together, Uncanny how our minds meld and play in synch. My youthful love for life, Your chuckling maturity, still unsure what life is. Now I play soft ballads full of aching, yearning, I can wrap myself in a blanket on the floor With a mug of tea, and think silently on you And the shadows I wish I could conjure into existence… They live inside, dancing to burst free from our guilty bodies Too ethereal, too beautiful, to be abandoned When we (artists) know we live for such wonders. I wish I had any other option but forgetting, or descending into madness. (I’m currently choosing madness..?) And it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I wasn’t supposed to fall so hard. I’m so sorry, My summer love.
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Aug 31, 2012
Aug 31, 2012 at 3:44 PM UTC
A Summer Thing
To live in Wales is to be conscious At dusk of the spilled blood That went into the making of the wild sky, Dyeing the immaculate rivers In all their courses. It is to be aware, Above the noisy tractor And hum of the machine Of strife in the strung woods, Vibrant with sped arrows. You cannot live in the present, At least not in Wales. There is the language for instance, The soft consonants Strange to the ear. There are cries in the dark at night As owls answer the moon, And thick ambush of shadows, Hushed at the fields' corners. There is no present in Wales, And no future; There is only the past, Brittle with relics, Wind-bitten towers and castles With sham ghosts; Mouldering quarries and mines; And an impotent people, Sick with inbreeding, Worrying the carcase of an old song. To live in Wales is to be conscious At dusk of the spilled blood That went into the making of the wild sky, Dyeing the immaculate rivers In all their courses. It is to be aware, Above the noisy tractor And hum of the machine Of strife in the strung woods, Vibrant with sped arrows. You cannot live in the present, At least not in Wales. There is the language for instance, The soft consonants Strange to the ear. There are cries in the dark at night As owls answer the moon, And thick ambush of shadows, Hushed at the fields' corners. There is no present in Wales, And no future; There is only the past, Brittle with relics, Wind-bitten towers and castles With sham ghosts; Mouldering quarries and mines; And an impotent people, Sick with inbreeding, Worrying the carcase of an old song.
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20.5k
Welsh Landscape
To live in Wales is to be conscious At dusk of the spilled blood That went into the making of the wild sky, Dyeing the immaculate rivers In all their courses. It is to be aware, Above the noisy tractor And hum of the machine Of strife in the strung woods, Vibrant with sped arrows. You cannot live in the present, At least not in Wales. There is the language for instance, The soft consonants Strange to the ear. There are cries in the dark at night As owls answer the moon, And thick ambush of shadows, Hushed at the fields' corners. There is no present in Wales, And no future; There is only the past, Brittle with relics, Wind-bitten towers and castles With sham ghosts; Mouldering quarries and mines; And an impotent people, Sick with inbreeding, Worrying the carcase of an old song. To live in Wales is to be conscious At dusk of the spilled blood That went into the making of the wild sky, Dyeing the immaculate rivers In all their courses. It is to be aware, Above the noisy tractor And hum of the machine Of strife in the strung woods, Vibrant with sped arrows. You cannot live in the present, At least not in Wales. There is the language for instance, The soft consonants Strange to the ear. There are cries in the dark at night As owls answer the moon, And thick ambush of shadows, Hushed at the fields' corners. There is no present in Wales, And no future; There is only the past, Brittle with relics, Wind-bitten towers and castles With sham ghosts; Mouldering quarries and mines; And an impotent people, Sick with inbreeding, Worrying the carcase of an old song.
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57
Dear Soulmate I'm pretty sure we've crossed paths before, just unassured of the spot But I know you've already forgotten How I look or how my name sounds like Just another wallflower within your area of sight Dear Soulmate It's pretty weird for me to have you here as well A bit restless, I don't know if you can tell After being spun around the other way By you who caught me in his arms and let me stay Dear Soulmate It almost feels like I have a debt to pay Only to be fixed by paying attention to you One burden I don't find myself to be in dismay For I know that somehow, you carry the same load too Dear Soulmate, I am not in love with you, let's make that clear I have learned not to after all these years From many a chance encounter broken by this mere Emotional "commitment" shrouded in unvoiced fear See, I can not be caught in the teeth of romance For it has bitten me once, let's not give it another chance to ruin something good, I know you'd understand So let me keep my distance now, before it catches me with its glance Dear Soulmate, I hope you feel the same As I write to you, it may sound insane Let me explain, before things turn twisted Why I can't let you be one of them in the end The problem is when my soul finds a mate, it ***** it dry leaving it dependent for it to thrive I see yours basking in freedom, a wonderful light So I won't say goodbye, but rather, goodnight.
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Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 11:16 PM UTC
A Letter To My "Soulmate"
slipping in her wet painted petal bitten by the sting of his bee her first time, he fumbles being gentle excitement dancing in his driving need instinctively possessed arcing her hips experimentally his maleness sweetly carressed teasing his need, tremendously each submersion in her sweetness peaking waves swelling in her breast entwining rhythmic explosiveness   pulsating gush, plunging over the crest
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Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 8:34 PM UTC
Possess the Lily
That relatable gay dream of running away, Wind blowing through what's left of your hair, the first ties to be cut. That relatable gay fear, questions you'd rather not asked and that subsequent relatable gay sorrow after the answers. That relatable gay loneliness, all hollow spaces and devoted secrecy. Bitten back tongues and hidden colors. That relatable gay moment of finding love in your friends. Not the kind that you kiss but the kind you hold dear in the night, as tears drip from cheeks to shoulders. That relatable gay plan of holidays with your other gay friends, a real family, the one who would love you no matter what. Cheers and queers and all too far away. That relatable gay longing for love- true love- Like the kind they never show in fairytales, Real and supportive, never hidden away or forgotten. That relatable gay anger, Boiling from injustice always under the surface, Waiting to erupt in pointless shouts of grief for a world that was not built for me. That relatable gay exhaustion, hostile slurs and benignant apathy blending together into a reality of unending fights just to keep on existing. So when someone asks me what makes you a community I show them all those relatable gay moments of anguish and loss, of solemn support and stolen minutes. And I tell them of how terrible it is that they are so very relatable, But how wonderful it is that we could at least live through them together.
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Mar 30, 2020
Mar 30, 2020 at 12:03 PM UTC
That Relatable Gay Moment
The memory of you emerges from the night around me. The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea. Deserted like the dwarves at dawn. It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one! Cold flower heads are raining over my heart. Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked. In you the wars and the flights accumulated. From you the wings of the song birds rose. You swallowed everything, like distance. Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank! It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss. The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse. Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver, turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank! In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded. Lost discoverer, in you everything sank! You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire, sadness stunned you, in you everything sank! I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on. Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you. Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness. and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar. There was the black solitude of the islands, and there, woman of love, your arms took me in. There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit. There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle. Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms! How terrible and brief my desire was to you! How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid. Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs, still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds. Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs, oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies. Oh the mad coupling of hope and force in which we merged and despaired. And the tenderness, light as water and as flour. And the word scarcely begun on the lips. This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing, and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank! Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you, what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned! From billow to billow you still called and sang. Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel. You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents. Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well. Pale blind diver, luckless slinger, lost discoverer, in you everything sank! It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour which the night fastens to all the timetables. The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore. Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate. Deserted like the wharves at dawn. Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands. Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything. It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!
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14.2k
A Song Of Despair
The memory of you emerges from the night around me. The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea. Deserted like the dwarves at dawn. It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one! Cold flower heads are raining over my heart. Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked. In you the wars and the flights accumulated. From you the wings of the song birds rose. You swallowed everything, like distance. Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank! It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss. The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse. Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver, turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank! In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded. Lost discoverer, in you everything sank! You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire, sadness stunned you, in you everything sank! I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on. Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you. Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness. and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar. There was the black solitude of the islands, and there, woman of love, your arms took me in. There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit. There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle. Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms! How terrible and brief my desire was to you! How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid. Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs, still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds. Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs, oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies. Oh the mad coupling of hope and force in which we merged and despaired. And the tenderness, light as water and as flour. And the word scarcely begun on the lips. This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing, and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank! Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you, what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned! From billow to billow you still called and sang. Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel. You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents. Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well. Pale blind diver, luckless slinger, lost discoverer, in you everything sank! It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour which the night fastens to all the timetables. The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore. Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate. Deserted like the wharves at dawn. Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands. Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything. It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!
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58
my bones stick out so much I should feel good like fat like privilege and power but these things are fleeting like my body like the conversion I had with you I never meant to bring up semi truck cabs artist’s sketch tables I only meant to move you into the city like a good friend like a walk in the park or a trust fall into the pool blues I say this is the strife they sing about and everyone loves it and eats it with peanuts allergies? no thank you. green smoothies? no thank you. a good morning text? well, maybe if I still like you if I can still stand to be in the same room with myself to go bowling to go on hikes to meditate all these things I hate and my bones they’re smooth and splinter when bitten and my bones they glow like uranium in the mirror good morning blow good morning blush good morning white boy good morning, Andrew
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May 21, 2016
May 21, 2016 at 11:20 AM UTC
morning
You are a really good fisherman, And I am just but a foolish fish,                                                                              *Preposterously bitten your hook,                                                     With your bait of feigned love attached to it,*                                       Piercing it all the way to my heart,                   Leaving me wounded with all of those prevaricates I've fell for, But I don't know why,                             I still love the feeling,                                          That you've been jumping in gladness,                                              That you've finally caught me, Even though I was hardly breathing,                'Cause you've taken  me away from the place,                                   That makes me breathe and gives me joy.                                  It somehow gives me relief,                  Seeing the auspicious sun, Brightly gleaming into my beautiful scales, Not knowing it was just a start of a baleful Gehenna!                     I should've known all along that it's just an entice!                               But I am still blessed,            'Cause I have manage to escape,                                 While damaging and harming myself in the process, From the jailhouse that you've locked me in.                                                       From then on,               You've learned a lesson,    And use NET instead.                 © Earl Jane                          ♥ E.J.C.S.
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Jul 22, 2015
Jul 22, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC
Fisherman
You are a really good fisherman, And I am just but a foolish fish,                                                                              *Preposterously bitten your hook,                                                     With your bait of feigned love attached to it,*                                       Piercing it all the way to my heart,                   Leaving me wounded with all of those prevaricates I've fell for, But I don't know why,                             I still love the feeling,                                          That you've been jumping in gladness,                                              That you've finally caught me, Even though I was hardly breathing,                'Cause you've taken  me away from the place,                                   That makes me breathe and gives me joy.                                  It somehow gives me relief,                  Seeing the auspicious sun, Brightly gleaming into my beautiful scales, Not knowing it was just a start of a baleful Gehenna!                     I should've known all along that it's just an entice!                               But I am still blessed,            'Cause I have manage to escape,                                 While damaging and harming myself in the process, From the jailhouse that you've locked me in.                                                       From then on,               You've learned a lesson,    And use NET instead.                 © Earl Jane                          ♥ E.J.C.S.
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28
now, what exactly are you, blonde, blue-eyed boy? with your kiss like nicotine and your touch like silk your eyes like a glass pool your lips oh-so-chapped and bitten you're tragic and damaged you're a habit, a routine nothing you would expect from just a blonde, blue-eyed boy.
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Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 3:09 AM UTC
blonde, blue-eyed boy
In a loud corridor Full of young people I move slowly, reconciled. I have lived a little longer than they have. And yet I do not know how They recognize my face, They smile at me so calmly. On the walls Reproductions of masters. One calls me, Face distorted, Naked in his suffering. I stop my thoughts. I look. I see his bitten soul. Too many sunsets in blood-red color. He and she, They lost everything And yet they still see so much love. I am already with them, on their portrait. I am part of these colors. I search in a corridor of eclipses, Flashing hopes. To soothe their dignity, To save the bond between them. I take this story in my hands, so gently. Together, we look into earthly wounds. We allow them to scar over, Day after day, Year after year. Until they grow over with life. Until they grow over with green grass. I will be happy. Observing how they grow in true strength Of human fragile beings, Of impatient humanity, longing to be reborn.
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Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 9:46 PM UTC
Painting
my entrails seaping crimson blackness into my heart Bitten by the rotting incisors you force into my flesh My body seeking your gaping void mere mortals describe as a mouth Your dark hollow soul blackening Cutting my thin cold skin i let you in. Feeling our flesh merging in this torturing oneness, Filling the cavities of endlessness. i yearn to feel you feasting upon my clammy cold covering desiring for the essence of your inner being to take me whole devouring my crescent moon in undertones of a wild demonic frenzy Extracting dark passion from your soul Staring into darkest nights of your mind's cavity. Through your soul, a black gaping hole. Darklights seeping through my sanity. searching for a searing flame it matters not that my etheral love is a force from another plain i can only believe in the feeling of you Perpetual fear of being hurt long i went through. This torturing love you wrung me through. my cold dead heart lingers in a state of confusion serving only to terrorize my mind forever playing tricks on me for a soul ive left behind
0
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 21, 2010 at 4:39 AM UTC
an empty sanity (a collaboration between gothic mistress and satan)
. ***Ancient games tell tales of dust.  |||   A story drawn from the lips of two poets.*** ~~~~~ It's the wits that **** not Queens of ivory or ***ink. *** Charged with coal strokes, scraping up the lies. Pawns & Knights slip between the grasp of the sun, leaking into*   lion jaws of Leo. Shifting these granite plates, ignoring the Rooks common price of aslant. Here we have slain kin, crescent traitors that backstab the night and battlefield. Closed doors and trap floors, trade me a tie, swindling your tactic ruts. Reality never got the noose around our necks, check turned into manslaughter, and kingdoms ripped asunder by the roar of Jupiter Get up, get up, get away from these liars, they can't have your rank or your fire. Peak a notion, this match is spared by a luft. Toss away the pride buried 'neath your dusty skin, it don't matter no more if   death has you by the lips. Silence is a language too in our eyes of earth. Take my hand, knott your soul into this downfall, and brace yourself for the wreckage in our bones. The Sword of Sorrows will fall 'pon your shoulders, not to slay thee, but to dub thee a new day. The drums of war will knit the lyrics in the sky, singing: "The mighty sharpen their fangs, the weak sharpen their wisdom" ~~~~~ I'm tired of your wishbones, and golden scales, give me the hard-earned truth. Hot coals of honesty may you tread upon, shadow-bitten remorseful may you be, don't stray off the course of Ursa major. The North star isn't the one I follow It's the moon with all of it's phases, Eclipsing and crescent, tipping the sky with it's beauty. Now let this sink further than any soul has ever sunk, no man could ever *rule the moon. ~~~~~~ ***Shoot on command, C h           e c         k m a t       e*** ~~~~ You could drag me to hell and back and those words wouldn't mean anything. Let this downfall become a downfell, Because last I checked "Wolves worship the moon" and I have broke it's reflection in the water *Just by throwing s                     t           o          n                  e                               s                                        .* .
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Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 3:19 PM UTC
Playing Chess with Dragons
. ***Ancient games tell tales of dust.  |||   A story drawn from the lips of two poets.*** ~~~~~ It's the wits that **** not Queens of ivory or ***ink. *** Charged with coal strokes, scraping up the lies. Pawns & Knights slip between the grasp of the sun, leaking into*   lion jaws of Leo. Shifting these granite plates, ignoring the Rooks common price of aslant. Here we have slain kin, crescent traitors that backstab the night and battlefield. Closed doors and trap floors, trade me a tie, swindling your tactic ruts. Reality never got the noose around our necks, check turned into manslaughter, and kingdoms ripped asunder by the roar of Jupiter Get up, get up, get away from these liars, they can't have your rank or your fire. Peak a notion, this match is spared by a luft. Toss away the pride buried 'neath your dusty skin, it don't matter no more if   death has you by the lips. Silence is a language too in our eyes of earth. Take my hand, knott your soul into this downfall, and brace yourself for the wreckage in our bones. The Sword of Sorrows will fall 'pon your shoulders, not to slay thee, but to dub thee a new day. The drums of war will knit the lyrics in the sky, singing: "The mighty sharpen their fangs, the weak sharpen their wisdom" ~~~~~ I'm tired of your wishbones, and golden scales, give me the hard-earned truth. Hot coals of honesty may you tread upon, shadow-bitten remorseful may you be, don't stray off the course of Ursa major. The North star isn't the one I follow It's the moon with all of it's phases, Eclipsing and crescent, tipping the sky with it's beauty. Now let this sink further than any soul has ever sunk, no man could ever *rule the moon. ~~~~~~ ***Shoot on command, C h           e c         k m a t       e*** ~~~~ You could drag me to hell and back and those words wouldn't mean anything. Let this downfall become a downfell, Because last I checked "Wolves worship the moon" and I have broke it's reflection in the water *Just by throwing s                     t           o          n                  e                               s                                        .* .
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58
i asked her, does it look the same? she gave me that funny look she gets whenever i say or do something a little dim it's a mirror image for a reason she said in the mirror i see muscles, and strength hips a little too wide and fleshy but still muscular, strength all the way down but when i reflect on myself, no mirror necessary it is never the same i don't feel as strong as i could don't look as sharp and sturdy as i could those fleshy sides, too soft for a battle-hardened brain and turbulent thoughts i need angles, i need straight lines but there's nothing straight about me and that's half the problem and the other half is that i hate the softness that lingers but everybody else loves it and i don't want to be warm and able to be cuddled i want hard edges and nimble, spindly fingers; when i play my chords i want my bones to tap the strings and when sadness sheathes itself within me i want eyes as dry as my eczema-bitten hands
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Jan 4, 2018
Jan 4, 2018 at 8:46 PM UTC
reflection
Infinitely and often nightly but very quietly I creep into the garden shed and make a bed among the flower pots where those dainty blooms with purple spots spot me and open up their eyes to see who sits among the rakes and spades and somewhere in those dappled glades my eyes will rest upon a cur-ved apparition and entirely of an auto responsive suggestion I will greet her with a midnight smile taped on my lips and when my heart has done its forty skips and my body settles down I invite her to come a little close and sit beside me by the oak tree she smiles in a light to brighten any night and any day I know would be proud to say go with the moment it is yours to own but on my own trapped in a shady place I face the fact that this place in the garden shed is only pictures in my head and I retreat beat it back indoors where the thunderous snores of all my many days come back to haze me in some juvenilish way it's the way of it it is the way and I have bitten off more than a piece or two and flown too close to sit upon the heat of the sun burned my bridges burned my *** and never learnt to hold my tongue but it is the way and one day the way will become oh so clear the potting shed that's in my head will disappear and in its place the face I look to meet will greet me deferentially I shall shape my tongue to fit around the words I want to say It is and always has been this way.
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Jun 5, 2013
Jun 5, 2013 at 5:00 PM UTC
Skiing Holidays
Cold mornings but yet i dont feel it... Cold blooded soul Got a heart with a hole.... No sealent... 30 and below i wont start to show... Black ice on the ground tell me you can see it... Tropic antiseptic... rubbed across my skin... novacane injected... followed by a pin... No pain, just frost bitten.. with no mittens... ground across my belly.. Eat the fruit I know your hungry...
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Dec 28, 2011
Dec 28, 2011 at 12:03 PM UTC
snake
Do you see these nails that are bitten and torn to shreds. Do you see my hair that is mangled and tangled, it hasn't been washed in days. Do you see this acne on my face, I pick at it till it leaves scars. Do you see the clothes I'm wearing, I bet I haven't changed them in weeks. Do you see this room, I haven't cleaned it in months Do you see my teeth, they bleed because I haven't brushed them in awhile. Do you see I go on binges of eating or not eating, cause I feel guilty. Do you see I go on benders if drinking or smoking. Do you see my eyes and face are red from crying recently. Do you see my texts I never send cause you wouldn't care. Do you see when I say "I'm ok", "I'm fine" that those are just lies. Do you see my smile and laugh, it's mostly fake.   Do you see how I sleep all day and wake up and go right back to bed. You don't see but you should. This list could go on for infinitely. It's signs like this that should be noticed. Depression, anxiety or any mental illness is important for learning the signs. Your story matters just as well as your voice.
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Aug 9, 2018
Aug 9, 2018 at 5:24 PM UTC
Notice anything
Saturday Sounds like the pattering Of bare feet On a dusty concrete yard, Smells of chimney smoke And jagged coal heath, Sheep-scent and Wiry wool on a barbed fence, Saturday Is a jangly guitar In a rickety truck On a gravel road, With a gravel voice Rough as grit, Deep as the caverns Between the peaks, Saturday Is sunlight on an enamel *** A tin kettle And its blood metal tea, It is blackberry-bitten legs and iodine streams, A canopy of heady bracken Below penny-marked trees, Then Sunday, Slantwise Against the setting sun Away again.
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Jan 12, 2018
Jan 12, 2018 at 6:09 PM UTC
Saturday
This is me apologizing. This is me finally coming up for air and coughing up apologizes instead of swallowing them down with gulps of water. This is me looking at your face and seeing the bags under your eyes because you stayed up all night trying to call me and apologizing. Looking at your nails and seeing the skin around them ****** and scabbed and the beds unevenly bitten down to nothing and apologizing. Looking at your eyes and seeing the way you bought colored contacts to cover the fact you spent days unmoving from a mirror trying to love yourself and apologizing. This is me seeing the needle points on your lips from where you injected your own blood to attempt to regain that color I claimed to be in love with and apologizing. As I'm looking at your arms and seeing where you scrubbed your skin with chemicals trying to erase the essence of me and when you smile I can see that you chugged a bottle of bleach to try and whiten your teeth bright enough so that you could be accepted by God himself into the pearly gates all I can do is apologize. I'm sorry that you spent hours carving my name into his back with your fingernails and biting your own tongue so hard it bled when he told you he loved you. When his flesh connected with yours causing the world to stop for a second and listen to your shrieking I know it was me you were screaming for and I'm sorry. As I'm standing here staring at you and watching them put brush stroke after brush stroke of blush onto your lovely pale cheeks trying to restore the life you lost so many years ago I'm finally realizing it's too late to apologize yet all I can think about is how this isn't even close to the eulogy you deserved. I should be talking about the way you danced and how your voice made my own falter momentarily and how you were more alive when you were dying than I ever will be when I'm living rather than apologizing but all I can seem to rationalize is how I spent years dry swallowing your love and spitting up knives to use to carve my initials into your thigh so you would always remember me and how I never even had the common decency to count to three before destroying you and I'm sorry. I'm afraid to look up now that I've finished apologizing because I know your empty eyes filled with nothingness will be staring back so horribly confused because I doubt you ever continued listening after I used the world eulogy and I'm sure you're going to wonder why I'm talking as if I'm sitting at your funeral rather than on the end of your bed but I don't know how else to make you grasp the concept of what you're doing to yourself by loving me in a better way than this and I'm sorry. C.a.l
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Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015 at 7:21 PM UTC
Eulogies
This is me apologizing. This is me finally coming up for air and coughing up apologizes instead of swallowing them down with gulps of water. This is me looking at your face and seeing the bags under your eyes because you stayed up all night trying to call me and apologizing. Looking at your nails and seeing the skin around them ****** and scabbed and the beds unevenly bitten down to nothing and apologizing. Looking at your eyes and seeing the way you bought colored contacts to cover the fact you spent days unmoving from a mirror trying to love yourself and apologizing. This is me seeing the needle points on your lips from where you injected your own blood to attempt to regain that color I claimed to be in love with and apologizing. As I'm looking at your arms and seeing where you scrubbed your skin with chemicals trying to erase the essence of me and when you smile I can see that you chugged a bottle of bleach to try and whiten your teeth bright enough so that you could be accepted by God himself into the pearly gates all I can do is apologize. I'm sorry that you spent hours carving my name into his back with your fingernails and biting your own tongue so hard it bled when he told you he loved you. When his flesh connected with yours causing the world to stop for a second and listen to your shrieking I know it was me you were screaming for and I'm sorry. As I'm standing here staring at you and watching them put brush stroke after brush stroke of blush onto your lovely pale cheeks trying to restore the life you lost so many years ago I'm finally realizing it's too late to apologize yet all I can think about is how this isn't even close to the eulogy you deserved. I should be talking about the way you danced and how your voice made my own falter momentarily and how you were more alive when you were dying than I ever will be when I'm living rather than apologizing but all I can seem to rationalize is how I spent years dry swallowing your love and spitting up knives to use to carve my initials into your thigh so you would always remember me and how I never even had the common decency to count to three before destroying you and I'm sorry. I'm afraid to look up now that I've finished apologizing because I know your empty eyes filled with nothingness will be staring back so horribly confused because I doubt you ever continued listening after I used the world eulogy and I'm sure you're going to wonder why I'm talking as if I'm sitting at your funeral rather than on the end of your bed but I don't know how else to make you grasp the concept of what you're doing to yourself by loving me in a better way than this and I'm sorry. C.a.l
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1
*** and cigarettes and bad decisions stained into bedsheets A good idea gone rogue in a moment by the chase and retreat Words bitten off before they emerge and a sudden sense of regret The ins and outs and turns and twists confined to breakup *** What feels good can't hurt you until its not good anymore Reality doesn't touch the bedroom until someone opens the door Grasping to skin like it's what we had and reluctantly letting go The push and pull of dumb ideas and a lack of self control. An awkward smile all the while thinking that this was a mistake A peck of a kiss, barely a touch of the lips, and sanity far too late Stains on the skin that the shower can't wash, they've soaked down to bone The knowledge that gasps and quiet laughs doesn't mean we aren't gone. *** and cigarettes and bad decisions stained into bedsheets A good idea gone rogue in a moment by the chase and retreat Words bitten off before they emerge and a sudden sense of regret The ins and outs and turns and twist confined to breakup ***
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Jul 13, 2017
Jul 13, 2017 at 11:11 PM UTC
Breakup ***
Sludge and blood. The smell of deep red iron filtering through the rocks and bodies bruised to the touch. Grotesque collections of pills and broken skin; infections and secretions and violent affections - Spit stained fingers and dilated pupils at thoughts thick with resin. Waking up with sickness in your stomach and bite marks on your neck The pull of clutching hands at strands of hair and bitten lips and sweat Pulling deeper, sharp inhale of self-done stitches Ripped open insides and the moment his breath hitches - aches forever. Pulsing, swollen, bleeding on the brain Sweet and sickly, gorgeous and gorged veins Momentary singularity in pain.
0
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 6:20 PM UTC
Lustmurder
The pick All the stress that an orange has caused is painful. It is painful for the tree from which it came. Snatched away with promises of sweetness. A tree mostly green, engulfing Small speckles of that deceptive orange. It was such a bright colour – high hopes! Handpicked by a man only looking for the best, Choosing poorly not for the first time. The green leaves frantically try to reclaim what’s theirs. Branch after branch reaching out, trying to uproot him. Close, so close. But they are a sea apart, At least an apple has a core, a heart. The peel Now it is pilfered, the painful process begins, Never quite ending: disappointment beckons. To try and taste these orange juices You soldiers must bear the burden. Each soldier, a finger digging themselves Into the tough stressful shell. Fingernails stained with orange blood, Eyes blinded by the same tangy juices. It never slips off in one go Like a roomy balaclava, But crumbles like the remnants of a bombing. Brick by brick, orange by orange it crumbles. Now it is finally undone But neither tree nor man has won. The preparation The crust collapsed, but now It is time to untangle the web the mantle holds. First, a division – the separation of brothers Who served side by side at birth. Dissected by these soldiers Acting as a bomb squad, Searching for those hidden pips. Found, but not without casualties – Sticky fingers with no taps in sight. Once removed the web is untangled. Tired, he hopes that the stress will swiftly end Unaware that the sweetness was just pretend. The pain Finally the moment has arrived And illogical ceremonies commence. I fear the celebration is far too soon, For as white touches orange and tries So desperately to unite, The tartly taste slays the poor man’s buds: Igniting like petrol on his burning tongue. He wishes he could return that orange To the green tree to which it belongs, To return a bullet-sprayed windscreen is not an option. The orange, once bitten, enjoys its trance Latching on to those pained tingling taste buds. His orange, a disaster to undress: Bad taste – a foolish price for such a mess.
0
Feb 14, 2011
Feb 14, 2011 at 12:06 PM UTC
Orange
The pick All the stress that an orange has caused is painful. It is painful for the tree from which it came. Snatched away with promises of sweetness. A tree mostly green, engulfing Small speckles of that deceptive orange. It was such a bright colour – high hopes! Handpicked by a man only looking for the best, Choosing poorly not for the first time. The green leaves frantically try to reclaim what’s theirs. Branch after branch reaching out, trying to uproot him. Close, so close. But they are a sea apart, At least an apple has a core, a heart. The peel Now it is pilfered, the painful process begins, Never quite ending: disappointment beckons. To try and taste these orange juices You soldiers must bear the burden. Each soldier, a finger digging themselves Into the tough stressful shell. Fingernails stained with orange blood, Eyes blinded by the same tangy juices. It never slips off in one go Like a roomy balaclava, But crumbles like the remnants of a bombing. Brick by brick, orange by orange it crumbles. Now it is finally undone But neither tree nor man has won. The preparation The crust collapsed, but now It is time to untangle the web the mantle holds. First, a division – the separation of brothers Who served side by side at birth. Dissected by these soldiers Acting as a bomb squad, Searching for those hidden pips. Found, but not without casualties – Sticky fingers with no taps in sight. Once removed the web is untangled. Tired, he hopes that the stress will swiftly end Unaware that the sweetness was just pretend. The pain Finally the moment has arrived And illogical ceremonies commence. I fear the celebration is far too soon, For as white touches orange and tries So desperately to unite, The tartly taste slays the poor man’s buds: Igniting like petrol on his burning tongue. He wishes he could return that orange To the green tree to which it belongs, To return a bullet-sprayed windscreen is not an option. The orange, once bitten, enjoys its trance Latching on to those pained tingling taste buds. His orange, a disaster to undress: Bad taste – a foolish price for such a mess.
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56
i am running out of air i am running out of scrapes on my knees running out of new corners to cross in this neighborhood we are growing up in the same houses with the same curtain of trees draping their limbs over our windowsills we are sleeping in the same bedsheets wrinkled from the imperative tossing and turning of adolescents. we inflate our chests and float away like red balloons a freckle in the pale complexion of the sky for this love affair with the pavement has lost its edge this slipping on slimy banana peels has stabilized we have bitten and scratched and stained the doors of your fingers studied every trail of your fingerprints we have grown older in the palm of your hand your fists raised to the sky it is time for you to open them.
0
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 19, 2018 at 3:33 PM UTC
fists to the sky
The write was written red ice twice bitten his soul a black clot a faucet for a neck she fell in a crepuscular fold odor of tincture fuckubus red mouth a snarling kiss a hot hiss chariot a black bite her womb spread wide for a tongue that didn't end nail polished ******* like torn cherries soft gauze tourniquet a slow yield milk petals and rivulets a ghastly confection leaning over like a spilled *** her gullet a metropolis of jewels forced throat bound on a black cross she sailed on a magic carpet like a vampires fizz cocktail a red ice float of starvation his mind a dead sky a pageant of coiled clouds he held her down she levitated they were in love
0
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 4:29 PM UTC
Red Ice