Hey.
Hello.
How are you?
It's been a while, do you miss me too?

How's the lonely nights?
How's lying on your bed side crying with all your might?
How's looking out the window, up at the sky?
How's whiping the tears off your eyes, asking why?

How's waking up at night to the nightmare of being alone?
How's being disappointed by not having that "good morning" written on your phone?
How's going home after work knowing no one will be there?
How's knowing now there's no one that'll care?

How's the sound of silence when you enter the door?
How's knowing that there will be no sweet words, welcomes, and kisses any more?
How's sitting on your couch feeling the sting from the remembrance that there is no longer a "we"?
How's the painful pins being poked in your chest knowing that it was your bitter words piercing my ears saying you don't want me?

Bye.
Take care.
You're doing just fine.
Those are just bittersweet hopes of mine.

i've been wondering what it was like
to have words pour from your
fingertips like the cup of coffee he's
probably pouring for her right now

it always had a bitersweet taste to me

and so did he

the acrid taste was already enough
to make me falter

and when he came around she stuck
her foot in the door and her nose
up to me

no need for a going away
party

no need to bereave the death of
what could have been

i was already reading my eulogy
in tears at his mothers house

no cliche will ever get close to explaining
the sound of my feckless heart shattering

no one will ever know how much it
hurt to watch as she serpentined herself
into my place in his heart

so i grab my keys and drive

i end up on the side of a backroad
with my car turned off and a perfect
view of the days darkness creeping
in

i want to call him and scream at
the top of my lungs about how
he's trapped me in this
secret hell

but i know i've already lost
him anyways

so i get back in my car because
i and everyone else knows that
wishing on stars hasn't and
never will work out for me anyways

I was not your first choice

I was not your second choice

At a point in time you told me differently but after nine months of trying to figure you out the only conclusion i’ve drawn is that your bitersweet words don’t mean anything at all

they say there’s a sliver of truth in every lie and thats the last bit of hope I’ve been holding on to lately

you said that one day it’ll all come together but little did you know I knew exactly what you meant that night in the park

It isn’t your fault but mine for not seeing the warning signs earlier on and turning around right then and there

it isnt your fault that i trusted you

it isnt your fault that i loved you

it isnt your fault that i put you on the highest pedestal and broke down when you failed to live up

the worst thing in the world is when you can feel someone slowly slipping away and you know there’s nothing you can do to stop them

it happened with a best friend and it happened with you and somehow these two always tie together

the moment it ends is the moment when you stop denying the truth and finally admit to someone’s withdrawal from your life

for now, you’re still here, in recent memories and in call histories and in the back of my mind

but nothing ever lasts, i’ve seen it all before

I saw the fog as it came crashing through the trees
As if the heavens had changed its mind
Striking the soil,
The fields untilled,

At last, imbalance,
bitersweet imperfection
Free from the yokes of the ether
The heat of the stars but a memory

O! To become breath itself
O! To speak and to be
O! I am that which the light denys
Forsaking shape and dimension
Relentless and undefined