"birthname" poems
"You'll be fine,
It'll be okay,
It will get better,
birthname"
They say
If only they knew that sometimes a name is a shackle, holding us to what we've never been and keeping us there until we can admit to ourselves that we've never been fine, nothing's okay and it first gets worse
"Why are you so mad,
Nothing seems to be wrong,
Why aren't you happy,
girl"
They say
If only they knew that sometimes feelings are subtle masks, painted onto our faces with the blood we drew yesterday to hide what we need to say to escape the viscous cycle of hate and tears and figurative death, and emotions are betrayals of what we need to be
"Everything would be fine,
They'd all be cool with it,
Why can't you just come out"
They say
(skipping
my name as the smallest act of a
hand in the darkness)
If only they knew that coming out is something that never goes fine, a delicate balance of worse and worst that makes our hearts beat so fast that cool is no longer a phrase but a temperature we need to reach in order to play our everlasting game of pretend
and
a name is a shackle, holding us to what we've never been and keeping us there until we can admit to ourselves that we've never been fine, nothing's okay and it first gets worse and even when it's not said we can hear it in the air, lingering on their lips like the slurs that we always expect to hear but haven't yet because to slur they need a target, an out, and coming out is something that never goes fine, a delicate balance of worse and worst that makes our hearts beat so fast that cool is no longer a phrase but a temperature we need to reach while the world spins faster and hotter and turning on the fan at night just keeps us up, dreading the dawn where we must once again play our game of pretend like everyone's born how they'll be for the rest of their lives and no one is different from the norm while still being okay
and
we go to Society everyday with a smile on our faces to say
"You'll be fine,
It'll be okay,
It will get better,
birthname;
Why are you so mad,
Nothing seems to be wrong,
Why aren't you happy,
birthsex"
because emotions are like coming out delicate scales of worst and worser and when we can't feel them we get enough cool relief to realize That This
Dysphoria
Is
Crushing
And
We
Can't
Get
Okay
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 2:12 PM UTC
i wish i could take it's power
make it mean nothing to me
have it mean someone else
but it was me
its a reminder i am not
who i want to be
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 22, 2019 at 8:45 PM UTC
The boy with the nice eyes
I saw you on the first day
And I liked your eyes
Green and glistening
Like tiny ponds of mystery
I wonder what your irises hide.
You smile and laugh
with your many friends
You don't even know my name
But I know yours
What are names anyway?
A title of our own, yet out of our control
And I noticed your new haircut
before half your friends did
I doubt I'll ever work up the nerve
To even talk to you
Or meet your glossy fern green gaze
But I still whisper
Whenever you pass by
The name I know you by
Despite knowing your real birthname
I'll still call you this
And murmur the phrase to my friends
There goes the boy with the nice eyes
Repost if you have been struck by the beauty of someone's eyes before. Unless I'm just weird and the only one who has.
I love to read interpretations and thoughts on my poetry so please comment!
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 4:37 AM UTC