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Jeff Gaines Apr 2018
Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines
I once had a really close friend ... I really want to believe this ... BUT ...
No matter how close I thought I was ... I would soon learn I was wrong. and eventually, after years of what I thought was closeness, she just "vanished" from me (or did she "vanish" me from her?), leaving me no way to contact her.

I pondered the reasons to the point of insanity ... until I realized that it just was what it was and there was nothing to do or say except to write a therapeutic piece like this (a few, actually) and move on.

I was led to find this writing from poet Trent Shelton ...
It truly began my healing process with an enlightening understanding:

"You can't control someone's loyalty. Being loyal is a decision they have to make. No matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean they'll value you the same. You just have to understand the people you love the most, can sometimes turn out to be the people you can trust the least. But never let that turn you into a person you're not. Keep LOVE in your heart."
~TRENT SHELTON
Kaiden A Ward May 28
Retrieve the daggers
Embedded in your spine,
Not to retaliate, but
To create a fearsome display
To serve as both
Warning and reminder
That you have survived
The cruelty
Of this world.
The closer the person, the  more jagged the knife and the deeper we are torn.
So this then is hell:
to live on in pain
with a heart that won't die
though no love remains.
One stanza of what started out as a longer poem, until I realized that all I really need to say could be said in a few words.
Ylzm Apr 26
A Liar says this and does that.
Cries, "Insult!" at any hint of Truth.
Uses Violence as proof, for surely
only Truth is worthier than Death.

If what you hear
and what you see
are not the same,
what do you believe?

Your Eyes or your Fears?
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
Breaking someones trust is like crumpling up a piece of paper.
You can smooth it over but it's never going to be the same again.
pk tunuri Apr 2018
If someone, you trusted the most betrays you.
People blame you for trusting him "Blindly"
and also quote "Trust No One".

But have you ever seen anyone pointing their fingers
at the person who betrayed you, looking him in the eye
and asked him why would he do that to you
or how dare he betray you or anyone?

No! right?
I feel, the people, the society encourages this betrayal and the betrayers.
If anything such happens around you,
stop giving free pieces of advice and
stop backing him(the betrayer) up.
You better warn the betrayer not to betray anyone
and also quote "BETRAY NO ONE"

What kinda foolish statement is "Trust no one"?
How can you not trust anyone?
So everything you do is just drama!
Acting like you trust him/her,
that's where these betrayers come from.
They are you, who sit silently when betrayal happens
You got to trust! Nothing works without trust!
Why is it, not trusting anyone even an option?
Let's say let's "BETRAY NO ONE"
Sarah Dec 2018
I know

I would have stayed

In eternal Paradise with you

But snakes with their cursed tongues of silver

Stole away my forbidden fruit

Until you got a taste

Of your own
Iska May 23
there once was a girl born with a fire heart.
it danced beneath the layers of her skin,
burning so brilliantly
you could see the flames blazing within.

when she saw the monsters
lurking within the darkness,
hunting those with no light to burn
this little girl gave them her flames.

and for once,
the world was burst into a brilliant light.
it pulsed and danced across the stars
with the potential to burn away the endless darkness

but what this foolish girl had yet to understand
was that there was only so much of your fire heart
that you can give away before you are left with
nothing but simmering embers inside.

on her knees she was smiling,
seeing all that her fire has saved.


only to be burned with her own flames.


she has out lived her purpose
so they left her to be devoured
by the very monsters
she had protected them from.

only to realize that these monsters
weren't nearly as bad as the ones
who now walked away with her flames.
Tyler Atherton Oct 2018
you say your there for me.
but when I really open up to you,
you just don't want to see it.
you act like you care,
but when I have these thoughts,
and break downs,
I ring and your never there.



© Copyright Tyler Atherton
Alaa qapaja Feb 2018
It’s like a knife in the middle of your back
You can't Reach it
You cant drag it out
Mabye
you shouldn't...
She Writes Dec 2018
Loneliest  is the moment
When you have no one to run to
The one that eases the pain
Is the one causing the hurt
Where do I go now? To whom do I turn?
Back to the lips that lied?
Back to the finger tips that betrayed?
You keep saying everything's fine,
But honestly, I don't believe you.

I've been betrayed over and over again,
And set aside by those whom I thought friends.
I've been judged for being me;
and for wanting company.
I've changed my ways and habits to be to their likeness. They, in turn, spit in my face.

I've been forgotten by those whom I thought of as equals, as true friends, maybe even family.
And yet I'm here thinking about those who have wronged me, asking myself what I did to deserve this.

I've been declared guilty, guilty by association. Bound to be forgotten and never spoken to.

And all of this because I was innocently honest about one tiny thing,
That turned out to be massive in the eyes of mummy's boy.
B L Jul 2018
In a wakeful contradiction, it lays fact between my fiction,
Tangling subatomics, it unravels as its tricks spin
deeper toward the outward...
                                      it won’t let up, 'til I give in.

Over matter, lay my mind…
I tell a lie to pass the time...
But there’s no reason nor a rhyme --
                                            Less still, a purpose?
I search for something to remind my mind
                     that there’s truth that isn’t worthless…

But as always, failure appears;
                              in a sort-of amnesic continuity.
And my reality lies to my own mind
                              Just as well
                              as it succeeds in its futility.
With destruction as its manifest,
It tells me that I stand my tallest
                              Upon two buckled knees.

And just as faith will find one’s doubt --
                  a search within has left without.
It seems that an answer, once sought out,
                  will be left lacking its question.
My truth divides itself,
                   as a product of infinite misdirection.

I try to substitute a reason for a rhyme.
But with no lies left to pass the time...
                              I swallow a dose of ignorance.
It goes down smoother than the truth.

In a war that started with a truce,
This world betrayed my faith to show me:
                                 that I'm only tall enough
                                 Once I’ve been
                                                         cut
                                                             down
                                                                ­     slowly.

A pill too large to swallow,
                I think I’m choking on myself . . .
Or the irony of asking,
                     “How could I be so careless?”
Here I stand, Barely standing,
                   Consumed almost entirely
By my own dry-heaving self-awareness...

Left to fight the fears that my nightmares create;
I’m still running from my past,
                          yet, haunted by my fate.
They walk beside me always,
                          shadowing wholeheartedly —
Existing as a duality, both apart from,
                         and a part of me.

These ghosts have taught me very little...
                                    Aside from what I hate.
But, I've come to learn not to fear
                                    The forceful hands of fate.
For I shudder not at the thought of destiny,
                                    Or the inevitable in time...
Instead, I fear the eventuality of the choices
That were solely, and entirely, mine.

I fear that my will may be of enough influence, alone...
That fate itself may collapse beneath decisions like my own.
Or that I, myself, might be constructing
What destruction I will find
Among my shattered spirits and convictions,
In these depths to which I climb.

Poetoftheway Aug 2018
how do you know when (a human is too broken?)



<•>

human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed


so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
La Girasol May 29
I had a conversation with my mom last night. Grandpa is not well, she told me. He's dying, is what I heard.

So am I, I thought.

I ate dinner with my friends and their kids tonight. I needed 2 years to heal from one of my first break-ups, she told me.

So do I, I thought.

I screamed at God or you or maybe both tonight. You're an a**hole! I yelled until my sobs cut my screams off.

So am I, I thought.

I wept in a friend's bed tonight. He's not making healthy choices, she told me.

So am I, I thought.

I watched the stars and sat outside while I cussed out God and you both tonight. You lied to me and I needed you, I sobbed.

So do I.
Grief is an ever-present neighbor who makes herself at home in my life frequently. I am feeling betrayed, sad, angry, shocked, and hurt. Grief, God, and you, have all been taking the brunt of it. Tears are becoming a daily reality.
Cruel words
They sting  like  violent  storms of the sea
Crush  inwards towards the seashore.
Erase  a thousand  bad thoughts
Words spoken
Hearts broken
Over. and over again.
An  earthly father  
Doesn't know  how to forgive
But bruises  his own blood and souls. He tread.
There is only one who can deliver us from our pain.
Let us pour out  our hearts to our true Maker instead.
Last night I was betrayed,
again, are you surprised?
Last night I found out how,
alone I actually am.
Last night my body shook,
from knowing the unknown.
Last night I saw the light,
light I didn't want to see.
Last night I realized how,
how much I love the darkness.
Last night the light truly,
intimidated me.
Last night will become my,
biggest anxiety.
Last night forced me to open up,
open my eyes to the dishonorable.
Last night you drove me home,
yet you still drove me away.
Last night made me wonder,
will I soon catch a break?
Last night my heart shattered,
and has not stopped breaking.
Last night showed me my value,
at least my value to you.
Last night you left me in,
light that was blinding me.
last night you lied to me,
last night you lied to me.
Last night you lied to me,
way to many times.
Last night you affected,
me in ways you cant imagine
Last night. Last night. Last night,
will I ever stop saying that.
Last night. Last night. Last night,
will you stop making me.
EmotionalPoet Jan 12
Don't have much to say
Just writting, my heart to obey
Everything hurts so much today
Everything falls along, but not my way

I, a slay..
A clueless little girl, so gray
No way for me to go, affraid
Scared and alone once more, no hey!
Can't believe what my eyes saw today

Why do I feel so alone again, Sunday
Another week has passed away
I'm scared to ask for help, I pray

My lips where yours, your prey
My hips you touch, no shame
Is that your new girlfriend, Fray?
I can't believe what I saw today..
Wrote this in 5 minutes, had to, had to release some pain. I'm sorry it's not perfect
Tammy M Darby Jun 2018
Instead fear the spirits that now inhabitant your heart
Those whom you have betrayed in love
Tremble in trepidation of these souls
Whose sadness was birthed in deception and treachery
Grown and watered with greed in bitter soil
And whose eyes now see nothing but hate
That await dipped in anger behind a silent door

Fear not who dwells below you
Or he that dwells above
Instead, live in trepidation of  ghosts that now inhabitant your life and heart
Those whom you have betrayed in love

May every strained breath be rife with regret
Every thought tainted with fear and blood
It is not who dwells above or below you should fear
Dread the wraiths you have betrayed in love

All Rights Reserved @ Tammy M. Darby June 12, 2018.
Peter Balkus Apr 2016
After sin comes remorse
so let me confess my sins:
I lied to myself
that God exists.

I killed my freedom.
I stole my own happiness.
I ***** my own dignity.
I betrayed the joy of ***
and joy of life.
I commited an open-mind's suicide.

After sin comes remorse,
so I repent of my sins,
that I lied to myself
that God exists.
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