Darkest of the dark alone, out on this forest floor
I won’t be home for supper late next evening,  that's for sure
The darkest shadows hide me, like my daddy said they could
And the Moon will then confide in me…
shine red, the arrowwood
"Far an' away" he told me then, now I’ve been gone so long
“You must avenge you're sister, this job is yours my only son, ”
I went right through the garden, with the last cold dreadful package
No one saw me leave, I hope there’s no blood on the cabbage…

Deep inside this endless night I travel in his stead
These hills and hollows cold and damp, I find no place
to lie my head
Into unbroken forest, too far gone and past my dread unknowns
To places no one’s ever been, I dissipate their sinful bones
It’s come to me, to be the one to file back the wasted years
My daddy much too sick to finish drying all my Mothers tears
I don’t know if I took their souls, or the other way around
But I left them there, out far somewhere below that dark
and ****** ground

I don’t remember even now, how long ago it started
I dwell inside these nightmares, the daylight disregarded
But I can still recall my baby sister, Bernadine
But not too much before those boys came and took her,
sight unseen
It was Nathan Sills my daddy said, but he also knew the cousins
The Gentry boys were there that night, I’ve heard it said in sad discussions
They drug her through the garden in the rain, so told the adage
Her dolly Maggie on the ground, her blood was on the cabbage

Thunder echoes through the mist, I think back once again
That night, the weather heard the cries of leafless branches...winter wren
So wet and cold... poor little thing, she had to be so scared
The rain, it holds no solace for a heart now broken...
so impaired
I have to sleep, so far I’ve gone...the fog impedes direction
Insanity imposed my mind, to give these demons cruel reflection
Think now, what would daddy say…It’s blood for blood,
and goods...
“So leave those boys scattered to the dark Kentucky woods”

Each one was carefully proposed and daddy told me how
Those men had lied to everyone, the truth was left quite disavowed
So he and I devised the plan, revenge, to leave them in those hills
The Gentry boys and they're older cousin, William Nathan Sills
To try and right the wrong inflicted, and ease my Mother’s pain
From the night when Bernadine was gone...
within the midnight rain
So lost and long ago in years my troubled heart finds no solution
I feel I must defend her soul, and so then meet my own conclusion

I've come to realize that it is I, who now has so been ******
But I followed daddy's orders, I killed them and I understand
These things come back to haunt me in my waking hours, to why
Those boys had begged so hard to live, all knowing they would surely die
My mind has wandered, I look up and see the cabin there
My Mother’s grief seen through the window, gray has stained her hair
I turn toward the door then stop, and step back silently
The dogs of hell expect me now, I suppose they wait ...
impatiently

And so I'll sneak away again, my parents old, and left alone
I leave them to their grieving, and so I leave my only home
To fade into concealing night, I invisible, unseen
Perhaps one day I'll meet again, my baby sister Bernadine
I now exist in isolate, apart from all those worldly things
It's time for me to find out what eternity can finally bring
But I'll be there from time to time, my essence will remain intact
To guard against the spirits that may come within the darkest black

The shadows come to hide me now, just like my daddy said
Though now the Moon refuses to reflect the arrowwood in red
I can hear the crying of my Mother, drifting through the oaks
Mother being Christian she don’t hold with the sin of killin’ folks
So how could I have gone inside?...these things
I’ve done, immoral
While Nathan and those Gentry boys lie dead and cold…
in mountain laurel
So now I’ll slip back through the garden, unobserved in passage
And as I go I’ll look again...no blood there...
on the cabbage…

Mother wouldn't want that…

Dean Evans
9-21-14

To my innocence, naivety, and viridity
Childish ways, high school days.
A mere three weeks, I say good bye
With a cry, a tear, a sigh.

To blue slacks, and a polo
Black shoes and white socks
To my pink skirt, and white blouse,
Pleated, soon to be folded.

To the OHS rooms of our first and second years:
The broken windows, and tantrum-kicked chairs,
The broom box behind the spider webbed chalkboard,
Messages on the wall hand printed in red and green.

The broken doorknobs, and broken floorboards,
Carved armchairs, and eaten chalks,
Missing brooms and dustpans and garbage cans and rugs
That show up in who knows where
Stolen by jani- we know who.

The witnesses and victims
To our random laughter (from some Chinese-looking girl’s corny joke).
Our random tears.
Our not so random learnings.
The pillars of our memories.

To the PF rooms of our third year:
The storage room turned gigantic garbage can and dressing room (maybe because ours keep being stolen)
The exploding socket causing sparks to fly (and us to fly away from it), and
The amazing “alambre” lock; who knows who installed (as if that could keep us away).
The earthquake resistant rooms would be missed.

To the New High School Building of our last years:
The kicked door (not our fault!), and cancerous blinds (like hairs falling after chemo),
The jigsaw floor (not sure if better than broken floorboards),
The “Halayan 2012”, and
The mind-boggling “no key needed” lockers.


The UTMT with its fair share of mango sentences,
The old guidance office now turned “tambayan”, and
The Computer lab with its fragile yellow chairs and bruised bums.

To Ibong Adarna plays, and the half cooked uncooked Teriyaki,
Generation X (and Generation NOW! and Generation Facebook),
Jai ** dances, and cheerleading,
Kalagon Kamo Namon,
And Mickey Mickey Mouse Kabit-bintana memories.

To the NikJep Tandem,
Kanlaon Boys Behind the Flowers,
D.H.A.I.N.G. (not sure if they remember this),
Fred vs Gino version
And DewBheRhieTart.

Keep the volcanoes of memories burning.

To blue paint, and blue shirts,
And Geometry teaching us
“There are a lot of solutions to a problem.
We just have to find one that suits us.”

To saying “***”,
And cooking imbutido.
And wearing (for some designing) reduced,
Reused, recycled clothing.
And dissecting.
And parrot-Filipino teachers (she gave me P30 for load though).

Keep the river of rumination flowing.

To being scared of one whole sheet of paper,
Two becoming one,
Party rocking to make up for the tears,
And knowing we should have won.

To the hand sanitizer girls,
The Cream-o-holics,
The Canterbury Crusaders,
The Valenciana eaters.

May our tree of friendship continue growing.

To our winnings!

The glow in the dark madness,
The Lakan at Mutya clutch-heart-moments,
The Sports Fest *******,
Basketball girls’ coronation!

To the fieldtrips and failed trips,
To air conditioned crammings,
And space and time bending
To comparing notes (and sometimes other things)
Copying notes, sometimes photocopying
(Not Xeroxing)
Sharing words, phrases, sentences
And giving pictures (via Bluetooth).

May you keep walking on the right direction,

To the expectations achived,
Broken, overtaken.
All the skepticism,
Constructive criticism.

All of it.

The in-your-face-we-did-it-baby-
We-are-awesome-you-can’t-bring-us-do­wn-
Coz-we-rise-back-up-attitude.

To Arielle
And Mhae

To Amica
Marie
Narzcisa
Cyan
Fred
Theo
Alvinson
Anthony
Faith
Karmil­la
Matt
Jeffson
Lourince

To Carolyn

To Makayla

To the thirty-five castaways in this room
The thirty-five castaways who struggled
The thirty-five castaways who persevered
The thirty-five castaways who fought, cried, made up, laughed, shared, gave, back-stabbed, and front-stabbed, celebrated, suffered, passed
Thirty-five
Thirty-five castaways who loved,
Thirty-five

Thirty-five castaways who made it, who did it.

To Nikki
Hazel
Alyssa
Gef
Veni
Alex
Jaykee
Bernard
Myra
Vince
Chanta­lle
Josen
Jerian
Shaira
J
Uriah
Ihra
Renz
Bless
Steffany
Angel
Fl­orey
Bernadine
Antonette
Rency
Owen
Majah
Gino
Marcelo
Ney
Keith
­Joselle
And Jessa,

We did it guys.
We really did.

I knew something was wrong
but made believe,
told myself it'd be okay

Until it wasn't

And you're not gone,
just getting far away
a fading light

Among a sea of stars

Sunsets on the waters
walks along the marsh,
a history made of art

My heart and soul

A life well lived,
a family well loved
my hero, truly I

Will love you forever.