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"bedroom" poems
nights take passion forth into an abyss of hundreds of arms swirling under the weight of bodies yearning to connect your destruction came in moments, you fell beneath them and growled, you were the rabid beast hiding in my closet or behind my bathroom door waiting to spring, and you and i, we fell for each other like children, we fumble in the dark like teenagers, we talk through every movement like we've known this dance for years, years, years; my hands, they're too small to spread over your heart like i want them to. your hands, far too big to cradle my face between them like you meant them to. we make it work in the darkest of ways, the black hole in the floor of our bedroom opening up to swallow us whole.
0
Jun 23, 2012
Jun 23, 2012 at 5:15 AM UTC
lord shiva and kali ma make love beneath the stars
i want to be the "goodnight" you whisper to your empty bedroom before shutting your eyes and drifting off to another reality.
0
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 3:57 AM UTC
goodnight
ground zero i become aware of boundaries i am a dog chasing cars i sing your voicemail to sleep there are no surgeon general warnings to tell me that *the objects in the mirror are more depressed than they appear* so how do i tell you that there are parts of my life that move slower without you in them? or that i look for you every day in emails & unanswered calls in the sunrises i didn't choose to be awake to watch that i sometimes still stare at doorways hoping you would walk through them    stage 1 you tell your new lover you've got a splinter and they pull the sound of your body falling asleep on mine out of your fingertip    stage 2 your new lover says something at dinner that makes you choke so they call 911 & the paramedics do the hymleich not knowing you would ***** our promises all over the the restaurant    stage 3 your new lover surprises you by cleaning the house & washes the shirt you kept next to the bed, not knowing it was the last thing you had that smelled like me after people always ask what was loving her like? after a really long silence i just say "it must be nice" but i never say it's watching paint dry i never say it's a window seat in hell i don't tell anyone about the dreams where i am reading you bedtime stories each one is a different way you die & every time i can never save you dreams where what i think are angels in my bedroom are just homeless versions of myself you never loved i have dreams where i pay someone to shoot me just to see if you would cry just to see if you would cradle my body i don't tell people that loving you is like playing piano for someone who can't hear that it's hitting repeat on my favorite song & forgetting the words every time it starts over that it's finding out there's no milk after you already poured yourself a bowl of cereal it's getting locked in the dark & being told to look on the bright side that loving you is like being reminded of what it felt like the first time you accidentally let go of a balloon as a child it's drowning without the water it's the feeling you get when you start to dance & the song ends
0
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 3:30 PM UTC
stages of detachment
ground zero i become aware of boundaries i am a dog chasing cars i sing your voicemail to sleep there are no surgeon general warnings to tell me that *the objects in the mirror are more depressed than they appear* so how do i tell you that there are parts of my life that move slower without you in them? or that i look for you every day in emails & unanswered calls in the sunrises i didn't choose to be awake to watch that i sometimes still stare at doorways hoping you would walk through them    stage 1 you tell your new lover you've got a splinter and they pull the sound of your body falling asleep on mine out of your fingertip    stage 2 your new lover says something at dinner that makes you choke so they call 911 & the paramedics do the hymleich not knowing you would ***** our promises all over the the restaurant    stage 3 your new lover surprises you by cleaning the house & washes the shirt you kept next to the bed, not knowing it was the last thing you had that smelled like me after people always ask what was loving her like? after a really long silence i just say "it must be nice" but i never say it's watching paint dry i never say it's a window seat in hell i don't tell anyone about the dreams where i am reading you bedtime stories each one is a different way you die & every time i can never save you dreams where what i think are angels in my bedroom are just homeless versions of myself you never loved i have dreams where i pay someone to shoot me just to see if you would cry just to see if you would cradle my body i don't tell people that loving you is like playing piano for someone who can't hear that it's hitting repeat on my favorite song & forgetting the words every time it starts over that it's finding out there's no milk after you already poured yourself a bowl of cereal it's getting locked in the dark & being told to look on the bright side that loving you is like being reminded of what it felt like the first time you accidentally let go of a balloon as a child it's drowning without the water it's the feeling you get when you start to dance & the song ends
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68
I bought a bunch of wooden soldiers. I bought them from the store. And now a hundred tiny soldiers guard my bedroom door. So if you're a scary monster-thing who wants to go to war, my bedroom door is open. I'm not frightened anymore.
0
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 7:27 PM UTC
Wooden Soldiers
i don't watch home movies hate them reason being because when i was young i was looking for a movie my mother had recorded for me and accidentally put one in the vcr that i'm not sure i was supposed to see i know the obvious response *"uh oh, **** sorry to disappoint they were only marked with dates   1991 on live television montel williams asks my father *"how can you just throw your child away like a piece of trash?"*    1994 i spend so much time in the emergency room that my parents stop penciling in growth marks on the frame of my bedroom door i always thought it was because they believed i would never grow out of this sickness sometimes i believe the reason that they never bought me a dream catcher was because they never thought i'd live long enough to see them come true    1996 i am eliminated from a spelling bee because i didn't know the 'dad' is silent in 'family'    2013 before i got into poetry i used to do standup none of my jokes were funny one of the other comics tells me my skits are dry sometimes sad he says *"why don't you joke about something like your family?"* so i say *"i never wore any sunblock because i didn't want anything to keep me from my father"* i say *"what do you call christmas without lights or heat?"* before he has a chance to answer i say *"1997. better yet why don't you make like a dad and leave"*    2014 every time we drive past the hospital my mother reminds me how much it cost to save my life like she'd rather have her money back she doesn't have to say that sometimes she wishes it was me who had died instead of my brother i can hear it in the way she says "love you" sometimes i imagine that if i were to die that she would pick out a casket for a child because she never loved the person i became yesterday i told my father how close i'd been to suicide lately and he said *"that's my boy, livin on the edge.."* and i can't remember if i laughed or cried
0
Oct 15, 2015
Oct 15, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
there are only dates
i don't watch home movies hate them reason being because when i was young i was looking for a movie my mother had recorded for me and accidentally put one in the vcr that i'm not sure i was supposed to see i know the obvious response *"uh oh, **** sorry to disappoint they were only marked with dates   1991 on live television montel williams asks my father *"how can you just throw your child away like a piece of trash?"*    1994 i spend so much time in the emergency room that my parents stop penciling in growth marks on the frame of my bedroom door i always thought it was because they believed i would never grow out of this sickness sometimes i believe the reason that they never bought me a dream catcher was because they never thought i'd live long enough to see them come true    1996 i am eliminated from a spelling bee because i didn't know the 'dad' is silent in 'family'    2013 before i got into poetry i used to do standup none of my jokes were funny one of the other comics tells me my skits are dry sometimes sad he says *"why don't you joke about something like your family?"* so i say *"i never wore any sunblock because i didn't want anything to keep me from my father"* i say *"what do you call christmas without lights or heat?"* before he has a chance to answer i say *"1997. better yet why don't you make like a dad and leave"*    2014 every time we drive past the hospital my mother reminds me how much it cost to save my life like she'd rather have her money back she doesn't have to say that sometimes she wishes it was me who had died instead of my brother i can hear it in the way she says "love you" sometimes i imagine that if i were to die that she would pick out a casket for a child because she never loved the person i became yesterday i told my father how close i'd been to suicide lately and he said *"that's my boy, livin on the edge.."* and i can't remember if i laughed or cried
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91
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
0
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
plain as day
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
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59
I am the crushed cereal at the bottom of the box Your last clean pair of underwear you only wear on laundry day The popped balloon left in the balloon seller’s hand at The end of the day when he goes back to his One bedroom apartment and warms up soup in the microwave I am the last thing you want to watch on TV An infomercial or a re-run re-run of a show you don’t like I am the bit of soda left in the can That’s mixed with saliva and has no taste And most times you don’t drink it, so You just toss away the can with me still inside I am the wallpaper in a dentist office That no one buys except to paper dentist offices I am the crumbs you sweep under the rug I am that thing on craigslist that would be Perfect except for that one little thing wrong I am all those lonely things.
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Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 6:38 PM UTC
I am all those lonely things
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
0
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 3:40 PM UTC
america horror story:coven fan fic part 5
"i'm watching you, stupid ***** Madison pointed at pyper as the girls made there way out of the dining room. "thats enough madison." Cordelia scolded. Nan followed pyper up the stairs into her bedroom. "why are you following me?" pyper asked, looking at nan in disgust. rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "you have madisons money." nan crossed her arms and smiled. "excuse me??" pyper replied as if she were offended by Nans accusation. "mhm, and you have zoeys sunglasses.., cassies ipod, and 25 dollars you stole from emilys purse. along with her art pencils." nan replied. "wow, you're A cleptomaniac." Nan laughed. "okay, how do you know all of this???" Pyper asked, her cheeks red from embarissment, and her head lowered in shame. "i'm psychic. i can read minds." nan explained. suddenly cassie walked past pypers room in search of her stolen ipod. "has anyone seen my pink ipod???" Cassie questioned, it was sitting on my bed, and now i can't find it anywhere. " she looked around hopelessly. "well then look in your room cassie. give me 5 minutes and i'll help you look." pyper shouted. "wow, you're a real piece of work arent you?" nan rolled her eyes and chuckled. "what is your angle, nan?" Pyper questioned, rolling her eyes aswell. saying names name as if she were mocking the whole idea of her. "my angle, PYPER. is this, you give everyone there **** back or i'm telling cordelia and you're out of here." Nan smerked. "you're not going to tell on me anyway?" pyper asked sadly. "no, not onless you do it again." nan sighed, "we stick together here, we're a family, we don't steele eachother down thats not what we're about." nan explained sympatheticly. "wow, thats funny because that's all my real family ever did." pyper replied with big sad puppy dog eyes. nan nodded, "i'm not here to listen to your ******** excuses or your sob stories. if saying that you've had a hard life, and never had anything given to you. and the world owes you. helps you get to sleep at night then fine, cool beans. but i'm not buying that shit. and these girls don't owe you anything. now, i expect everyone to have there **** back by the morning, or i will tell cordelia." nan sighed and rolled her eyes. "okay." pyper nodded with a wounded look upon her face. Cassie stood outside of the door, still listening. her eyebrows raised in anger. and then made her way up the stairs and into madisons room. "what are you doing here pipsquick. im NOT in the mood." Madison sobbed. "oh i think you're in the mood for this, i know who took your money." Cassie smiled.
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1
It terrifies me that we only get a limited amount of time with people. And that some people get more time than others who should have. I’m forever envious of those who’ve gotten more time with you than I have. That I may never get to be with you as long as they have. That our time is running out. And I miss you already. And I never want to say goodbye. At first it was slow, late nights in your car and afternoons in my bedroom. But now it feels like it’s happening all at once, like you’re doing a snow angel on my heart and it keeps getting bigger and bigger. Kissing on the sidewalk, holding hands in your coat pocket because I forgot to bring gloves. Wandering around museums and having hard conversations on your couch that make me love you even more; even when the air becomes glass, I can’t stop thinking about how lucky I feel to know you. That there’s no one else like you. My heart aches in your arms and aches when we’re apart. And I just want to be as close to you as possible, for as long as possible, because you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I love who I am when I’m with you.
0
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 1:55 PM UTC
midnight journal
//the door to your bedroom was a portal to a world unseen your bed, the ocean & your sheets, the sand with the crevices caused by the tide it flowed so sweetly over the soft sand beyond the door, serenity was foreign to you you were only there when you needed to be you, who had knit the thickest wool to pull over my eyes thicker than the blindfold we used the frenzy I remember frenzy further cured with discipline and you know what? "I like that ***** **** how will you discipline me today, daddy? it was what you taught me after all to be a brat for no one but you to be no one else's little girl if not I'd be a bad girl bad girls get punished bad girls get no love so I saved you the trouble and left my collar at the door//
0
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 8:15 PM UTC
the woes of a *** addict
Borderline personality disorder Unseen people unseen energies tickling my back Distrust paranoia Longing for love unwilling to accept Dreaming of self harm of boys in all black Who am I to you Trust no one not even your best friend especially not them Avert your eyes don’t look at me I don’t see you I hear things that aren’t there I hear things they whisper my name want me to follow Casual *** casually falling in love Relapse around the corner need to see my blood I smell blood I taste it Close my eyes move to music become a ghost Crying in my bedroom crying in public No one sees I am invisible Think horrible things think about killing A certainty that I will end up alone This sounds like a suicide note Want to be art want to be in the ground burned to ash Who AM I ********** daily In love with love In love with being on my own I can’t belong to anyone I want to belong to someone Can’t be a girlfriend can’t be a best friend Can’t lose me that’s all I have in the end I sound ******* nuts Borderline personality Don’t smile Won’t smile Bitterness bitterness Too afraid to hang myself Punch myself in the face Spit on me Respect me Degrade me Take me away take me in What the **** is wrong with me
0
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
BPD
Creeping voices in the night Shadows lurking out of sight Haunt me till the morning's light No sleeping for me tonight Looking at my bedroom door My feet barely touch the floor Something whispers down my core Something that I can't ignore Melted candles in my hand Things I would not understand My hope slips away like sand This was not what I had planned Slowly walking down the stairs Feel a breeze sweep through my hair Shadows lurk; in silence stare Naked thoughts are all I wear Out of breath I walk outside Shaking fear that builds inside No more places left to hide Guilty thoughts of mine collide Drenched in coward's blood and fear I lost those who I held dear It's all blurred, nothing is clear Shadows from my past appear As the silence speaks to me Gets too loud it deafens me My past will not leave me be Pain and torment I foresee Dazed and drawn by these lost souls Broken thoughts I can't control Ghosts slip through this gaping hole Darkness has taken its toll From the darkness dreams come out Nightmares flailing all about Closing in, I hear them shout It's the end, I have no doubt "What the hell is it you want?" They retreat and me they taunt One emerges, tall and gaunt "Your life we will no more haunt." "You have paid for your wrongdoing," He tells me, his voice booming "This is now your redeeming You are free." he says smiling I look at the rising sun I no longer have to run My sentence is served and done The ghosts have finally gone.
0
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014 at 7:36 PM UTC
Wake
a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities... *that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who knows the when and why of differing cuddling styles... a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who knows when to leave a man alone alone in his man-mourning time, distance needed, letting his ex-rage dissipate or watching his red and blue football redefine ignominy... a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when the man low whistles, eyes adrift, she heartily agrees and is reciprocity rewarded regularly with hunk alerts of "hey-check-him-out!" that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, a tigress in the bedroom she asking, try this, I'll love it, served with a desert demo of awkward afterward, his less-than-perfect cuddling abilities a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who doesn't abhor partner silences, comforting they are, in their own ways, lying side by side, interrupted only by peccadillo body noises unexpected and sheepish apologies and loving arm stroking a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who lets the man roar, top of voice, when imprisoned in car,   his voice, un enfant terrible, performs with Creedence Clearwater a sing-a-long in traffic, asking "Have you ever seen the rain" while amidst Israel-leaving-Egypt Sunday beach traffic on the L.I.E. a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, when it's pheromones  alternative mode day, he celebrates Carole King day, she demonstrates her cuddling abilities, par excellence, with kisses and tissues a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities... a woman, plain confident in her abilities no matter the situational status, when confronted by less-than-crazy-impetuous, she smiling says "why not," when he proposes, a movie and dinner in a fav haunt? "plenty excellent enough" her answer, spoke in a rising voice full of unfeigned delight a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, accepting the unexpected airport embrace on a moving sidewalk, unexpected delays with the aplomb of a well lived life's long term sustainability perspective when he kisses her hand for no reason, while driving 75 miles per hour, she only winces internally, the other hand vise-grasping the other door's handle, who brushes hair wisps in a dark movie, celebrating her Bathsheba Everdeen's duality of strength and tenderness a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when on second date he proposes a non-exclusive relationship, confident enough to high-five respond, and laugh about it, seven years on a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when she reads it, analyzing the oeuvre as "too **** personal and as usual too **** long"* that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities in everything... even a little occasional criticism
0
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 10:45 AM UTC
a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities...
a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities... *that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who knows the when and why of differing cuddling styles... a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who knows when to leave a man alone alone in his man-mourning time, distance needed, letting his ex-rage dissipate or watching his red and blue football redefine ignominy... a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when the man low whistles, eyes adrift, she heartily agrees and is reciprocity rewarded regularly with hunk alerts of "hey-check-him-out!" that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, a tigress in the bedroom she asking, try this, I'll love it, served with a desert demo of awkward afterward, his less-than-perfect cuddling abilities a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who doesn't abhor partner silences, comforting they are, in their own ways, lying side by side, interrupted only by peccadillo body noises unexpected and sheepish apologies and loving arm stroking a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, who lets the man roar, top of voice, when imprisoned in car,   his voice, un enfant terrible, performs with Creedence Clearwater a sing-a-long in traffic, asking "Have you ever seen the rain" while amidst Israel-leaving-Egypt Sunday beach traffic on the L.I.E. a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, when it's pheromones  alternative mode day, he celebrates Carole King day, she demonstrates her cuddling abilities, par excellence, with kisses and tissues a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities... a woman, plain confident in her abilities no matter the situational status, when confronted by less-than-crazy-impetuous, she smiling says "why not," when he proposes, a movie and dinner in a fav haunt? "plenty excellent enough" her answer, spoke in a rising voice full of unfeigned delight a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, accepting the unexpected airport embrace on a moving sidewalk, unexpected delays with the aplomb of a well lived life's long term sustainability perspective when he kisses her hand for no reason, while driving 75 miles per hour, she only winces internally, the other hand vise-grasping the other door's handle, who brushes hair wisps in a dark movie, celebrating her Bathsheba Everdeen's duality of strength and tenderness a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when on second date he proposes a non-exclusive relationship, confident enough to high-five respond, and laugh about it, seven years on a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities, that when she reads it, analyzing the oeuvre as "too **** personal and as usual too **** long"* that's all any man wants, a woman, confident in her cuddling abilities in everything... even a little occasional criticism
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84
# *This coup A new nation Loyal dedication Its classification* ‘Species procreation’ Prevents us from facing A human cessation selective mutation Gestation Creation It may help explaining The reasons Behaving *But not the foundation Or actions We’re basing* A simplification is “continuation” A checkbox left vacant *Fulfillment We’re chasing* We sweat Eyes are gazing A slight palpitation In need of hydration Complete excitation Without hesitation Intense stimulation **Deep urges Heart racing** *Driven By sensations* **Unbounded fixation Pelvic Undulations Clothing Perforations Time no longer wasting** ***This capitulation a Sanctification ****** gyrations Hint of *********** The bedroom Safe haven For what we are craving *Once out and displaying* It all had been taken Before Feeling vacant Freed imagination A resuscitation Indulged depravation A rhythm we’re setting The giving and getting **Destroying the bedding** All else I’m forgetting Entwined with each other Like entangled netting *Both on the same trip In a unified heading* Now comes the summation A true Revelation Final culmination Smash all expectations ***Volcanic eruption*** That lasts the duration **Loud gasp We unlock** Filled with gratification #
0
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 3:19 AM UTC
Undulated Desires
and i am eleven again feeling like tomorrow is a couple yesterday's ago smothered in cayenne pepper hot enough to take off taste buds and tonight i am eating a meal only worth burning it tastes like my parents anniversary it tastes like a zinfandel left on the counter too long it's a bad story, see there's no silverware 'cause my mom sold it to keep the lights on and somewhere in heaven somebody in a suit doing commentary on this fiasco is telling someone else in a suit that "you have to eat love with your hands" so we sit, four plates on the table for the two of us my brother's long gone dad's even further away & he's not the one who's buried i carry both their names like anchors that i cannot unmoor from while she looks at the empty table and says something about the news she says something else but she's not talking we aren't proud of this, see my dad likes to wax his car he's proud of it and my mom says she sees a lot of him in my hands says, i touch the things i find like they didn't belong to people sleeping in the ground she says i touch photo albums the same way- you know, i never used to believe that history could repeat itself not until i could fast forward seventeen years and still wake up to smoke alarms how i would go into our kitchen to find it empty and the dinner smoldering & my mother in her bedroom looking through family photos like it's a just another summer day and the sirens are just the birds i don't ask, i never say a word in this moment i am an archeologist afraid to dig up the past cause history repeats itself- you see my brother is dead and my father is gone they have been for some years now and my mother sometimes forgets and sets their place at the table like they're still here and in the confusion ends up ankle deep in pictures of how it used to be she let's dinner burn and douses it in red pepper hoping i won't know the difference
0
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 10, 2014 at 6:42 PM UTC
jamais vu
and i am eleven again feeling like tomorrow is a couple yesterday's ago smothered in cayenne pepper hot enough to take off taste buds and tonight i am eating a meal only worth burning it tastes like my parents anniversary it tastes like a zinfandel left on the counter too long it's a bad story, see there's no silverware 'cause my mom sold it to keep the lights on and somewhere in heaven somebody in a suit doing commentary on this fiasco is telling someone else in a suit that "you have to eat love with your hands" so we sit, four plates on the table for the two of us my brother's long gone dad's even further away & he's not the one who's buried i carry both their names like anchors that i cannot unmoor from while she looks at the empty table and says something about the news she says something else but she's not talking we aren't proud of this, see my dad likes to wax his car he's proud of it and my mom says she sees a lot of him in my hands says, i touch the things i find like they didn't belong to people sleeping in the ground she says i touch photo albums the same way- you know, i never used to believe that history could repeat itself not until i could fast forward seventeen years and still wake up to smoke alarms how i would go into our kitchen to find it empty and the dinner smoldering & my mother in her bedroom looking through family photos like it's a just another summer day and the sirens are just the birds i don't ask, i never say a word in this moment i am an archeologist afraid to dig up the past cause history repeats itself- you see my brother is dead and my father is gone they have been for some years now and my mother sometimes forgets and sets their place at the table like they're still here and in the confusion ends up ankle deep in pictures of how it used to be she let's dinner burn and douses it in red pepper hoping i won't know the difference
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74
Every day is the same; they wake up in the same bed, at the same ungodly hour, to the same monotonous ringing from the alarm clock. They grumble their ‘good morning’s; whether they believe it is or not, rolling out of opposite sides of the duvet. They dance around each other in the bathroom, the heat of the shower creating a fog through which neither of them can see; causing him to stub his toe on the toilet or the counter, and steaming up the mirror so she can’t apply her make-up. They continue their ritual into the kitchen; flicking on the kettle, popping in the bread, pouring the orange juice; stirring the tea, catching the toast and spreading the butter and jam. Crunching and slurping together at the table, mumbling about what their days have in store; tapping texts on their phones, crinkling newspaper in their hands. They peck each other a kiss goodbye and mutter a ‘see you later’ before going their separate ways. But then Monday comes... Mondays are different. He knows she doesn’t like Monday mornings. It’s the very beginning of a new, long, tiring week. She never looks forward to Mondays. So he changes that. He sets the alarm on his watch a little earlier than other days; shutting it off before it can wake her. He slips silently out of bed and tiptoes quietly into the bathroom to shower; leaving her smiley faces and love messages on the steamy mirrors. He creates her favourite tea and makes her toast with raspberry jam; just the way she likes it. Picking a flower from the garden; whichever one looks the happiest and brightest, he places it all on a tray and pads back up to the bedroom to wake her. She no longer sets her alarm on Mondays. She knows he’ll not let her oversleep. He places the flower in her hair and drops delicate kisses; full of his love and affection for her, to the corner of her mouth, until she stirs gently. She smiles on Monday mornings. They eat breakfast in bed, covering the sheets in crumbs and giggling contentedly as the cat licks them up. She hums in the bathroom while he clears away crockery, and always re-emerges with the flower tucked behind her ear. It remains there ‘til night fall. They never once look at their phones or the paper, far too focused on each other to pay anything else mind. Their kiss as they part reminds them of their love for each other and of the good things in life; like strolls along the shore, strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, smiling sunflowers that open to a beautiful summer’s day, and of course, Monday mornings.
0
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 5:17 PM UTC
Monday Mornings
Every day is the same; they wake up in the same bed, at the same ungodly hour, to the same monotonous ringing from the alarm clock. They grumble their ‘good morning’s; whether they believe it is or not, rolling out of opposite sides of the duvet. They dance around each other in the bathroom, the heat of the shower creating a fog through which neither of them can see; causing him to stub his toe on the toilet or the counter, and steaming up the mirror so she can’t apply her make-up. They continue their ritual into the kitchen; flicking on the kettle, popping in the bread, pouring the orange juice; stirring the tea, catching the toast and spreading the butter and jam. Crunching and slurping together at the table, mumbling about what their days have in store; tapping texts on their phones, crinkling newspaper in their hands. They peck each other a kiss goodbye and mutter a ‘see you later’ before going their separate ways. But then Monday comes... Mondays are different. He knows she doesn’t like Monday mornings. It’s the very beginning of a new, long, tiring week. She never looks forward to Mondays. So he changes that. He sets the alarm on his watch a little earlier than other days; shutting it off before it can wake her. He slips silently out of bed and tiptoes quietly into the bathroom to shower; leaving her smiley faces and love messages on the steamy mirrors. He creates her favourite tea and makes her toast with raspberry jam; just the way she likes it. Picking a flower from the garden; whichever one looks the happiest and brightest, he places it all on a tray and pads back up to the bedroom to wake her. She no longer sets her alarm on Mondays. She knows he’ll not let her oversleep. He places the flower in her hair and drops delicate kisses; full of his love and affection for her, to the corner of her mouth, until she stirs gently. She smiles on Monday mornings. They eat breakfast in bed, covering the sheets in crumbs and giggling contentedly as the cat licks them up. She hums in the bathroom while he clears away crockery, and always re-emerges with the flower tucked behind her ear. It remains there ‘til night fall. They never once look at their phones or the paper, far too focused on each other to pay anything else mind. Their kiss as they part reminds them of their love for each other and of the good things in life; like strolls along the shore, strawberries dipped in dark chocolate, smiling sunflowers that open to a beautiful summer’s day, and of course, Monday mornings.
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20
I once knew a boy Who liked to draw Beautiful pictures That nobody saw He drew by himself Alone at night Locked in his bedroom Out of sight The pictures where strange They came with a twist His pen was a razor His canvas, his wrist We lay out at night Watching the stars When he lifted his sleeve And showed me his scars I wasn't shocked I knew what to do So I lifted my sleeve And said "I draw too." -n.m.
0
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 5:48 PM UTC
I Draw Too.
afternoon light shining in through the sheer curtains hanging over my bedroom window, on the most ordinary day of the week, your arms were around me and my head was on your chest as it slowly rose and fell, and you twitch as you’re falling asleep, and i never thought i could fall in love with the sound of someone snoring, but your sleepy inhales made my heart swell, and since then, the day has been a series of heavy exhales. i can feel the weight of you behind my ribs and in the corners of my mouth as i smile at the thought of kissing you, your laugh, the way your eyes look when they’re looking at me, the sound of your voice when you’re trying to get music to play in your car, how i feel when i can feel you next to me; i hope you don’t mind, but no matter what time or space is between us, you’ve written your name in the sand of my soul and no amount of wind or waves will ever be able to wash it away. the time we’ve spent together feels like seconds, but you will always exist in my memory as someone who held my hand as i walked into the sun.
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Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 12:49 PM UTC
it was a wednesday
The tragedy is there's a prison in my mind all the thoughts that lurk there are ones I wish were never mine they etch into my heart the scars I wear so bright They whisper wicked stories of things that never happened or maybe things that did things that shouldn't create ripples in the current in my life but here I lay in bed stuck awake at night eyes cutting blankly through the nothingness of my cold and dark bedroom
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Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 5:27 PM UTC
Broken Minded
Do You Ever Find … ? That Words Sometimes … KEEP On … " Runnin' " … Through Your Mind … ?!? Sometimes ... My Rhymes And Words Are … ...... STUNNING ….. !!!!! These Days I Find My Word Designs … Refine And Dine Just Like FINE Wine … !!! So Here's A Few To Give You … " Clues " ... of Some of The Ways My Wordplay Moves … Wordplay … ? Just … RIDICULOUS … !!! Volume … ? Straight Up … INFINITE … !!! Inception Is … " Synonymous " … With BIG VIRGE The … EPONYMOUS … !!!!! Conception … NOT …. " Inglorious " …. !!!!! ******* NOPE … ERRONEOUS … !!!!! My Use of Verse Is … " GLORIOUS " … !!!!! In Fact It's … " MERITORIOUS " . !!!!!!! Because It's TIGHT NOT Porous …. Chorus … NO … !!! Because It Flows … And Has NO PLACE In … ... " Talent Shows " … !!!!! TALENT ... ??? Whoooooaaaaa You'd Better KNOW … !!!!! What I Construct May One Day BLOW … !!! A Hole In ALL These Shows For … " Ho's " … !!!!! Prostitution …. NO …. !!! NOT How I Roll … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talking of THOSE … NO TIME For Coc’ … !!! Or Yes … ******* … !!! Because My Nose ... Does NOT House Notes … !!!!! Where AIR Should Flow … !!!!! FLOWS … ?!? I Got …Those … !!! QUOTES That Rock Boats … !!! Races Places So Many Faces … Sometimes My Mind ... DEFINES … INVASIVE … WAIT ..................................................................... !!! I'm Just PLAYING And Relaying ... Words of Verse … From The Thoughts of … ….. " Big Virge " ….. !!! My Head … ??? It HURTS ... Just Like My Arm … !!! Because I Write … Like Those Who Fight … And Wear The Garms' … of Those Who Choose To ... YES … " Bear Arms " … ?!? Violent … NAH … !?! Big Virge Is … ….. Calm …............................................................. I'd Rather Charm … But PLEASE BE SMART … !!! Before My Words … Get In Your ... " CLAAT " … !!! Or Your …... " RASSHOLE' " ….. !!! Am I Bajan … ??? NO ... But Here's The Quote … I'm … ENGLISH Born … So Know of Their Scorn … !!!!! But Am Now REBORN … !!! With … CARIBBEAN Views … Just Down The Road … From My NEW Bedroom … !!!!! On BAJAN' Shores …. !!! NOT Cold But WARM … !!! I'm HAPPIER NOW … !!! That I Have FOUND … A Place For Myself … On My Parents' Ground … !!!!! Africa Next … ? Well … More or Less … So MUCH of This WORLD … !!!!! I Haven't Seen … YET … ?!? Girls … ?!?!? That's Where This Poem ENDS. SO MANY Look FINE But I Just Can't find … One Whose Down To … " Fool Around " … !!!!! With The Man … Big Virge ... ... " The Connoisseur of Spoken Words " ... I Guess That's Why … ? I Write These Rhymes … And Put In Verse … Words That … " Traverse " … That I NOW FIND … " Run Through My Mind " …..
0
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 5, 2015 at 4:32 PM UTC
"Run Through My Mind" ... A Poem written by Big Virge 20/12/2013
Do You Ever Find … ? That Words Sometimes … KEEP On … " Runnin' " … Through Your Mind … ?!? Sometimes ... My Rhymes And Words Are … ...... STUNNING ….. !!!!! These Days I Find My Word Designs … Refine And Dine Just Like FINE Wine … !!! So Here's A Few To Give You … " Clues " ... of Some of The Ways My Wordplay Moves … Wordplay … ? Just … RIDICULOUS … !!! Volume … ? Straight Up … INFINITE … !!! Inception Is … " Synonymous " … With BIG VIRGE The … EPONYMOUS … !!!!! Conception … NOT …. " Inglorious " …. !!!!! ******* NOPE … ERRONEOUS … !!!!! My Use of Verse Is … " GLORIOUS " … !!!!! In Fact It's … " MERITORIOUS " . !!!!!!! Because It's TIGHT NOT Porous …. Chorus … NO … !!! Because It Flows … And Has NO PLACE In … ... " Talent Shows " … !!!!! TALENT ... ??? Whoooooaaaaa You'd Better KNOW … !!!!! What I Construct May One Day BLOW … !!! A Hole In ALL These Shows For … " Ho's " … !!!!! Prostitution …. NO …. !!! NOT How I Roll … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talking of THOSE … NO TIME For Coc’ … !!! Or Yes … ******* … !!! Because My Nose ... Does NOT House Notes … !!!!! Where AIR Should Flow … !!!!! FLOWS … ?!? I Got …Those … !!! QUOTES That Rock Boats … !!! Races Places So Many Faces … Sometimes My Mind ... DEFINES … INVASIVE … WAIT ..................................................................... !!! I'm Just PLAYING And Relaying ... Words of Verse … From The Thoughts of … ….. " Big Virge " ….. !!! My Head … ??? It HURTS ... Just Like My Arm … !!! Because I Write … Like Those Who Fight … And Wear The Garms' … of Those Who Choose To ... YES … " Bear Arms " … ?!? Violent … NAH … !?! Big Virge Is … ….. Calm …............................................................. I'd Rather Charm … But PLEASE BE SMART … !!! Before My Words … Get In Your ... " CLAAT " … !!! Or Your …... " RASSHOLE' " ….. !!! Am I Bajan … ??? NO ... But Here's The Quote … I'm … ENGLISH Born … So Know of Their Scorn … !!!!! But Am Now REBORN … !!! With … CARIBBEAN Views … Just Down The Road … From My NEW Bedroom … !!!!! On BAJAN' Shores …. !!! NOT Cold But WARM … !!! I'm HAPPIER NOW … !!! That I Have FOUND … A Place For Myself … On My Parents' Ground … !!!!! Africa Next … ? Well … More or Less … So MUCH of This WORLD … !!!!! I Haven't Seen … YET … ?!? Girls … ?!?!? That's Where This Poem ENDS. SO MANY Look FINE But I Just Can't find … One Whose Down To … " Fool Around " … !!!!! With The Man … Big Virge ... ... " The Connoisseur of Spoken Words " ... I Guess That's Why … ? I Write These Rhymes … And Put In Verse … Words That … " Traverse " … That I NOW FIND … " Run Through My Mind " …..
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97
. 1 death dirges Frogs in distance sing  .  .  . Foxes, herons, join in too,   .  .  .  A round of croaking. 2 love gifts Her gift of flowers  .  .  . Came at night without garden,   .  .  .  Were picked in bedroom. 3 twins demure Full moon and she  .  .  . Beauties without crescent smile,   .  .  .  Naked in starlight. 4 light music Before even sun  .  .  . Gleam opens to paint each day,   .  .  .  Beauty in birdsong. 5 iridescent After sun showers  .  .  . Sparkle of rainbow colours,   .  .  .  Busy hummingbirds 6 chilling Hollow sound through trees, Naked and bare branches sway,   .  .  .  Old winter creeping. 7 flirting She wanted a child  .  .  . Rushed from one suitor to next,   .  .  .  Clock set to maybe. 8 super villain Truth once singular  .  .  . Mucked all up with politics,   .  .  .  In cowl of falsehoods. 9 casualties Blood spills in gardens  .  .  . Naïve worms torn from loose grounds, . . . Red robins, green lawns. 10 stigmata Each spring miracle  .  .  . Trees blessed by caterpillars gifts,   .  .  .  Holey hands of leaves. 11 consecrations Ripples lead to bows  .  .  . After fish breaks the water,   .  .  .  A kingfisher dives. 12 constancy Steadfast as always  .  .  . Wildflower in sun and rain,   .  .  .  Showing true colours. 13 roommates Chaste lovers wonder  .  .  . How bodies weather the cold,   .  .  .  Never knowing touch. 14 swept away Suddenly we kissed  .  .  . At beach as tides rolling in,   .  .  .  Drowning by ocean. 15 seductress Her red hair so long  .  .  . Brushing my face, hiding eyes,   .  .  .  A kind entrapment. .
0
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 10:20 PM UTC
15 Haiku | Senryū
. 1 death dirges Frogs in distance sing  .  .  . Foxes, herons, join in too,   .  .  .  A round of croaking. 2 love gifts Her gift of flowers  .  .  . Came at night without garden,   .  .  .  Were picked in bedroom. 3 twins demure Full moon and she  .  .  . Beauties without crescent smile,   .  .  .  Naked in starlight. 4 light music Before even sun  .  .  . Gleam opens to paint each day,   .  .  .  Beauty in birdsong. 5 iridescent After sun showers  .  .  . Sparkle of rainbow colours,   .  .  .  Busy hummingbirds 6 chilling Hollow sound through trees, Naked and bare branches sway,   .  .  .  Old winter creeping. 7 flirting She wanted a child  .  .  . Rushed from one suitor to next,   .  .  .  Clock set to maybe. 8 super villain Truth once singular  .  .  . Mucked all up with politics,   .  .  .  In cowl of falsehoods. 9 casualties Blood spills in gardens  .  .  . Naïve worms torn from loose grounds, . . . Red robins, green lawns. 10 stigmata Each spring miracle  .  .  . Trees blessed by caterpillars gifts,   .  .  .  Holey hands of leaves. 11 consecrations Ripples lead to bows  .  .  . After fish breaks the water,   .  .  .  A kingfisher dives. 12 constancy Steadfast as always  .  .  . Wildflower in sun and rain,   .  .  .  Showing true colours. 13 roommates Chaste lovers wonder  .  .  . How bodies weather the cold,   .  .  .  Never knowing touch. 14 swept away Suddenly we kissed  .  .  . At beach as tides rolling in,   .  .  .  Drowning by ocean. 15 seductress Her red hair so long  .  .  . Brushing my face, hiding eyes,   .  .  .  A kind entrapment. .
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77
Cold, blue, wet, fragile, brittle, hard, steam solidified, water hardened, anger, fear, white, tensile, steam solidified, water hardened; you lie in her wintered veins. why? "If she's awake, I'll **** you." staccato words spoken like a knife blade thrown... ...with malice and intent. Her father's voice from the bedroom next door no sound of her mother. The female child cowered under her candy-striped sheets their usual soft comfort unnoticed footsteps door handle moving light seeping into her sanctuary her heart thudded trying to escape her chest as she held her breath. "Please, please don't hear me." a silent plea as fear snatched her in its icy grip. She could smell him smell the cigarettes smell his power. She waited. He backed out returned to her mother between her heartbeats she heard the slap "You are lucky this time, ***** She sleeps." Heavy footsteps down the stairs punctuated by her mother's tears.                             ~~~~~~~~~~~ The girl child had only ever blamed her mother decades of anger and bitterness the memory of this night buried deep. Crazed hard ice beneath the tundra of her life. In the third decade of the girl child's life her mother died alone never forgiven for what she hadn't done nor for what she had. The ice remained in the girl child's veins If anything, thicker...harder. Then in her fifth decade this ice became water as with the passage of life the tundra thawed and rising with it to the surface the truth. Then what? The girl child worked hard at staying warm at keeping the ice at bay. Not easy. Nothing was ever said to her father. In her sixth decade the girl child's father died embraced in his daughter's arms forgiven for what he had done and for what he hadn't. The woman had finally thawed she was properly warm her own love finally able to flow
0
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 1:39 PM UTC
ice
Cold, blue, wet, fragile, brittle, hard, steam solidified, water hardened, anger, fear, white, tensile, steam solidified, water hardened; you lie in her wintered veins. why? "If she's awake, I'll **** you." staccato words spoken like a knife blade thrown... ...with malice and intent. Her father's voice from the bedroom next door no sound of her mother. The female child cowered under her candy-striped sheets their usual soft comfort unnoticed footsteps door handle moving light seeping into her sanctuary her heart thudded trying to escape her chest as she held her breath. "Please, please don't hear me." a silent plea as fear snatched her in its icy grip. She could smell him smell the cigarettes smell his power. She waited. He backed out returned to her mother between her heartbeats she heard the slap "You are lucky this time, ***** She sleeps." Heavy footsteps down the stairs punctuated by her mother's tears.                             ~~~~~~~~~~~ The girl child had only ever blamed her mother decades of anger and bitterness the memory of this night buried deep. Crazed hard ice beneath the tundra of her life. In the third decade of the girl child's life her mother died alone never forgiven for what she hadn't done nor for what she had. The ice remained in the girl child's veins If anything, thicker...harder. Then in her fifth decade this ice became water as with the passage of life the tundra thawed and rising with it to the surface the truth. Then what? The girl child worked hard at staying warm at keeping the ice at bay. Not easy. Nothing was ever said to her father. In her sixth decade the girl child's father died embraced in his daughter's arms forgiven for what he had done and for what he hadn't. The woman had finally thawed she was properly warm her own love finally able to flow
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66
whatever you do dare not to stare they will take you places do not be willing to go there they are tainted they will ruin you right from the start cover your body protect your heart puppy dog eyes bedroom glares never fall captive to scorpio or pisces no matter who dares
0
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
Water signs
Midnight criminal metabolism of guilt forest Rattlesnakes whistles castanets Remove me from this hall of mirrors This filthy glass Are you her Do you look like that How could you be when no one ever could ~~~ Poet of the call-girl storm She left a note on the bedroom door. “If I’m out, bring me to.” ~~~ I dropped by to see you late last night But you were out like a light Your head was on the floor & rats played pool w/your eyes Death is a good disguise for late at night Wrapping all games in its calm garden But what happens when the guests return & all unmask & you are asked to leave for want of a smile I’ll still take you then But I’m your friend
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Sirens