"bdd" poems
First it was my arms
I didn't even realize what was happening
I thought this was normal
tank tops, shirts with quarter sleeves
fill with big blaring X
Then it was my back
and the fat it grew
I can fist it in my hand
But it still hangs loose
It has to consume me
I catch myself in the mirror
once, twice, forty-six
sun sets, rises, repeats
I can see my roundness now
Then my thighs
I thought I was over-weight
all consuming
If i didn't care about other's shape
why mine?
I the ugly duck in see of swan
my shorts sit in blue plastic bags in good will truck
Once I have torn everything in me apart
It is just my BDD
where did I go
Jul 17, 2019
Jul 17, 2019 at 9:13 PM UTC
I march along the pavement
Feeling incredibly lonely
Although I am not alone
I have my demons with me
Depression draped like a scarf
Resting over my eyes
I cannot see
Through it's myriad of lies
Anxiety whispering
Softly In my ear
You're not good enough
You don't belong here
My BDD stops me
At every mirror I pass by
I have to meet the standards
Of my demons perfectionist eye
I walk along shrouded
In my invisible darkness
You look at me and see a normal girl
You'd never guess I carry all this
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 20, 2013 at 4:00 AM UTC
I think you might have serious psychological issues.
A combination of PTSD and BDD,
resulting in an extreme form of misandry,
which you compensate for by completely disrespecting your own body.
With masochism as a defense mechanism,
and danger as stress relief;
your personal well-being is so far down on your list that it turns my stomach just thinking about it.
You're some kind of crazy and it makes me feel kind of sick.
How's that for a diagnosis?
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 9, 2016 at 1:30 AM UTC
I tried to make it easy for myself. To give it up. I used to sit around pick at my food, and wonder how many pounds I would need to lose. I had a goal set in my mind. I wasn't ready to stop. It was becoming my time. All the constant compliments on my weight, didn't care if I saw the light of day, as long I was skinny, I was happy. I was pretty.
Now the world's a pretty ****** up place. But when you have BDD you think you're a disgrace. I pushed and pulled and tried to mold my body, into something I wasn't. That's not even the ****** part. I used to take the pills, chug the water. Was ashamed to call myself my parent's daughter. I was praying for something to come. And while it seems real dumb because according to you I'm pretty, I don't see what you see. Me calling myself fat wasn't for attention. It was a call for help. I just wanted to mention that starving yourself won't get the job done, and if you think it will, it'll harm you a ton. So please stay beautiful the way you are. And don't lose that precious beat in your heart. You're the only you there'll ever be. I love you for you. I just don't love me for me.
Sep 10, 2017
Sep 10, 2017 at 12:47 AM UTC
Butchers used to hang their pigs (ham) by the tendons (strings) in the back of the knee. The Hamstrings are actually 3 different muscles that work together to extend the hip and flex the knee.
Basically the hamstrings most important job is to make sure your leg doesn’t fly off your body when you run.
Yes, Found words with capitals. Then there are cheeestrings which i find taste of nothing
in particular.
He was not tongue tied in the medical sesnse, he stammered and was bullied over it. While
I stood by with love and embarrasment .
We have since learned a thing or more.
Then there is the thread to consider, yet I understand that some use thorns.
Stories continue of bound feet and
crippling
people.
He suggested that body dysmorhia may be at the heart of things. bdd.
I fear he may be right.
Research Albino.
sbm.
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 1:48 AM UTC
Could I be more?
If the grips of anxiety didn’t choke me until I feel constantly on my last breath
If PTSD didn’t rid me of sleep
If sadness didn’t settle in my bones and weigh my body down
If BDD didn’t starve me figuratively and literally
Could I be more?
May 28, 2019
May 28, 2019 at 11:36 PM UTC