My screen name my real email address, not Patty M.
is masculine. I didn't want it to sound too feminine, for fear of being hounded so I chose one with strength ,
thinking as I newly entered AOL, the gates of hell, that this name
with fortitude would get me through.
I happened across the AOL poetry boards,
a wannabe writer, dumb, naive but open to acquiring knowledge.
And acquire it I did. I began in the guise of a man,
thinking it safer that way. No one would bother a guy,
and if they should think I'm a nerd, what do I care?
For a while it worked, I chiseled my skill, with
harsh words and a dark demeanor. At least that's
what I thought. It wasn't too many weeks into the game that
I was found out, it seems my feminine side had a way of seeping through, soft and syrupy making it's own womanly appearance So I chucked it all in and became who I really was.
Then there is still the matter
of my screen name, which soon got to be problematic.
It seems a business man, possibly rich, who traveled a lot
and was a player, had a name almost exactly the same
as mine, except for one letter. Odd thing that he'd dropped the e.
Soon I was barraged with email from woman of all kinds and shapes
sending me pictures, and telling me what they wanted to do
to me. Apalled, I fell back from the screen, emitting
a primal scream. What the f- - k is this all about? I was
beside myself with worry. Had I set off a mob of hot ladies
with the poetry I had written? Good Grief, Charlie Brown,
what the hell was I supposed to do now?
One day soon after the initial outpouring of **** females
parading in scanty attire, I was accosted by a male
in IM. "What the f- -k are you doing online, you're supposed
to be on an airplane to Brazil." he wrote. First my mouth
fell open, and then I wrote back, "are you talking to me?"
I know I'm not the fastest with good comebacks, at least
I wasn't then, but I'll blame it primarily on shock.
I asked him who the hell he was, and he told me he
was my brother-in-law. Now this is really scary,
because I don't have a brother or sister. "Not possible,"
I say, and he goes on laughing like it's all a big joke
cussin' his head off and being a general *******.
Well I finally broke in, and told him I am a woman,
and I'm not your brother- in- law. He said he always knew I
was a little *****, followed by hearty laughter. I
was beside myself with anger, wanting to punch this
guy out. I screamed my text across the IM screen
I'm a girl, I'm not your freakin' brother in law and I don't
know what the hell you're talking about, nor do I want too!
He got the message then, and calmed down a bit,
and told me he apologized, but there must be
an error on AOL because I had his brother-in-law's
screen name. Then after closer scrutiny he discovered
I had the e the other guy dropped. What a crazy
fiasco this was. It took a week maybe a little longer
for those poor woman to find the user of their dreams.
In the mean time I sent them all my regrets,
told them I had a venereal disease, and that my wife would
cut my d- -k off if she found out I was playing around with anyone
ever again. I sabotaged his player status, every way I could.
First the initial shock, and then the messages
all faded away. So I kept the name that I loved, yet
every now and then it still causes problems,
especially in poetry chat rooms where they don't know me.
Women still seem attracted to the name, inviting me to
to private chat
Hey! do any of you guys, wanna buy my name?