it comes and goes they say. Bringing life to awkard ways. Stimulating awkard minds on lonely days. wastes away in intrinsic minds,repressed.
hapless beautiful thoughts used as insipid grumblings in a harvest without seed.
It is a must.a need.a gift
times' vacation, times' digress.

' Do you understand me?'
A most awkward question to pose
It weakens you and the addressee
Senses your insecurity-- with a sneering nose

Would come the reply:
'What do you take me for--a fool?'
Think before you speak
You command respect when you are sure and cool.

He knew that he was an Alien,  He knew that he was peculiar,  He knew that he was different,   He knew the Air-Prince would continue to encourage others to Strike-Out at Him~ whether they knew the meaning of that which he spoke !       They even made fun of his name~ they would blurt  out~  There goes "AWKARD AL" ~ Words bellowed out~as if to a 100psi ! !    They tried to throw enough "HOT" words  to Blister~His Back.       Then one day,  while at a concert, a few moments before it was to begin,~ a LOUD Murmuring ~ hovered over the audience.   and in Unison they proclaimed ~"There sits ALDIN AWK,  the man whose words Bristle with Brackishness .! and  they~.....Chanted in unison " His words Bristle with Brackishness" , they repeated the chant  over and over.     Aldin stood up,  the crowd thinking ~that He  was about to leave the concert.       To their surprise~ he walked to the stage~ was handed the microphone~ bowed his head for a Moment......     and as He began to speak~  "EVEN GREATER WERE THE BRISTLED WORDS OF BRACKISHNESS"    that came from him thru the tears "Pouring forth"  ....

You think love is a game.
That another persons heart is an experiment.
And though I love you,
I can't watch you dance in circles.
This awkard, hurtful
Relationship without a purpose.
I could give wisdom
Help, advice,or comfort.
But I'm too angry to speak.
To angry to put in much effort.

It starts with a bubbling feeling
that fills then over flows
your cords start vibrating
your stomach knots and hurts
as you slap your knee
and threat urinating
toppled over in a joyous
social transaction
one that turns awkard to ease
and crippling pain into soulful healing
The greatest act to share with someone who cares
There's lots of magic in the little moments spent lost in uncontrolable laughter

the currency of
grieving is in....

casseroles and soups,
left with notes,
on the back doorstep

flowers, bright, beautiful
and fragant,
delivered by gangling, teenage boys.

awkard silences and cups
of lukewarm tea.
mumbled condolences and
too tight hugs

late night rememberances,
after,
far too many drinks

tears, laughter and
in-house jokes...
photos, stories and 
space for quiet reflection.

these things are...
the dollars and cents
of  grief for a friend

but when all is, said
and done....

i would much prefer
to be penniless,
begging on the street,
with pockets empty
and moths for friends.

Every human around me
That knew of our US
Keeps wondering and saying to me
"What is so spectacular about him"?

I look into my heart and say
If only you knew the height of love we
Got to or the tears we shared
Our eye contacts among crowds
Or the awkard kisses at unexpected times.

I wake up to the fact that
You just Went with the flow
And never got attached as I did
It was all a game to you.

Die Wahrheit? Ich mag dich.
eine Menge. Du machst mich
glücklich. Du machst mich
laugh.You're smart.
Du bist anders.
Sie sind ein wenig verrückt,
und awkard und
Ihr Lächeln allein kann
mein Tag!

you are,

my beauty to behold,
my strength to grow old,
my youth blessed, de-messed,
clean clarity, clear faced best.

you are,

my light in dark stairwells,
my long lingering farewell,
my langishing sighs
and final goodbyes,
rueful, regretful, redfaced rest.

you are,

my trial and tribulation,
my awkard salutations,
my pause in transmission,
stupid, careless intermission,
flayed, flensing, flesh rending test.

you are,

my hope for brighter,
my hearts renewing delight,
my compass' new bearing,
fresh, freedoms flight
upward, ever upward
from dark nights behest.

you are,

my inside, outside, beside,

you are,

my internal, eternal guide,
my passion, my power, my pride.

you are,

looking  back at me,
from the mirrors' inside.

If you were Any Other Girl......
I wouldn't be writing this

If you were Any Other Grl......
All of these thoughts that stumble around my head like drunk men trying to find their way home wouldn't exist
And I say drunk men because it's easy to understand sober men
Yet these thoughts seem inexplicably intricate....

If you were Any Other Girl......
I'd be able to decipher all of these emotions and realize that after seven drafts of a poem I should probably give up on trying to explain that if I could I would nail my hands to the very stars themself if only it would give me a tongue crafted of pure gold....
Maybe then I'd be able to explain to every passing stranger how I can see a masterpiece in your very smile

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't stumble over wanting to kiss you

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't want to brush your hair back slowly, acting like a walking cliché in the desperate hope that your smile would inject my pitiful heart with enough courage to lean in and just be close to you

If you were Any Other Girl....
I would have kissed you a hundred times over

But you see the truth is that......
You're not Any Other Girl
You're gorgeous
Your smile seeps into me like water soaks into the parched land and gives it new life
Your hair seems to have a life of its own and I can't help but think that if you were Medusa's daughter, being turned into stone would be worth it because the last thing imprinted on my vision would be a walking artwork
And what I want you to know is that when you smile I feel the precious bud of bravery blossom within my chest
And I manage to convince myself that I will kiss the most beautiful girl I've ever had the privilege of knowing
Yet when confronted with a face as pure as a Mondrian painting
And more beautiful than a Vermeer or a Botticelli
Massive waves seem to form over me and I stand beneath behemoths of beauty and I laugh.....as these waves crash over me
My inconsequential bravery is washed away in the face of your beauty as I realize for the first time that this girl is....... worth the frustration
She is worth the wait
Worth the energy
Worth the embarrassment of letting an awkard attempt at a kiss melt into a more awkward hug....
But the simple truth is.....
You are not Any Other girl
You.
Are.
Worth.
The.
Journey.
And I can not wait to savour as much of it as I can with you

I Know You Heard In The Sky
These  Wings Were Maid To Fly
Every Night I Pray That I Wont Take My Life
When I Awake I Want To Die
I Aplogize Okay
You Deserve A Reply
Its Difficult For Me To Have Company
Than Say & Waive Good Bye
I Cant Put You Through These
Tunnels
Of I'm A Stay Then Walk Away
Cos Your Heart Has Enough Pain.
I Been Using Awkward Things To Paint
I Want To Live To See Such Things As Dreams  Display
Obviously Thats Why My Body Has Not Sailed Away
My Heart  Is So Open
I Wont Owe No Hell To Pay
I Walk With ****** Boots
Through Roots Of Doom Each Day
Your Happenings  Are Happening
& This Is Just The Way
Pain Crys Rain
In A Scarf  Box Angle
Angels Are The Rainbow
If It's Sunny Why Am I Feeling
Funny Why Won't The Rain Go
Cost The Pain Wont
I Push  Every Woman Away Even Guys To
My Mother & Father  Ran Out Of Supplies  
I Never Had Somebody By My Side
It's Always Temporary
I Don't Have A Sanctuary
Its Very Scary
I Pick Up Vibes
& I Might Get Em Twisted
ALTHOUGH
I'M Calling Cost I'm Dying
Crying Giant For Eye Lids To Listen
Let Me Break Down My Vision
Remember That Night
That Awkard Light In My Kitchen
When I Was Fed Up With Ascension  & I Was Flipping Position
& You Said Kato Your Fine
Your Tripping
I Been There
I Know My Mission
Then Then Next Week Out Back Of Class You Confessed
You Felt Something Missing
I Guess The Facts To Your Path
You Slamed On My Ash
You Didn't Have A Grasp
On The Wishing
Wrong Or Right
Is Not A Point  Of View
Just To Get My Point Across I Had To Point A Few
Real Situations
I Refuse To Be Infused With Distant Visitation
& When I Speak Of Separation
I'm Blamed
& I Cant Take It
I'm Done Being Anxious
I'm Done With A Relations
Im Dead Or On Vacations

as the hands ever unseen,
push forward,
the tines of time,
i lie with eyes open,
but it must be said,
with a desperate desire
that they be closed.

i listen to the wind rail,
against it's perpetual,
homeless state.
fury has been it's nature,
this past long night
and has doubled
the occupancy of this old
king bed,
sprawled beside me now safely asleep,
is a tangle of blucat and small, but growing to fast, child
both resting, hard up against the lee- side of the man mountain.
all creating a purring, snuffling, snoring thing,
that has an equal measure
of comfort and annoyance, circulating within my brain.

outside the house,
something has come adrift, but not enough, to blow away and it bangs in an awkard thunking rhythm agin the side of the house.

in the bed it is warm
and slightly sweaty.
outside of the bed,
it is crisp and overcool.
outside the window,
the sky is lightening,
to a grey that portends...
a long day

i make my choice
and leave the warmth in search of, the first of,
far too many coffee's

and the unseen hands,
still move,
the tines of the
old grandfather clock.
ever onward, everforward.

at one time, for a time,
you were my greatest love
at one time, for a time,
i could not have hated you more
at one time, for a time,
i could not live without you
at one time for a time,
i wished you dead

and now I see you in the park and feel nothing
it is like passing a stranger, albeit with a haunting face
we see each other, look away and then come together
we speak with awkard grace, making the smallest of talk
before hastening away, knowing that bridge
was long made ashes and we were calling across the abyss

at one time, for a time, our hearts beat as one,
synchronous and now our tempos are so different,
the past only an offbeat echo.....heard faintly on the wind
i wish you well my erstwhile friend....my forgotton lover

have you seen his bone legs
crack and bend when he walks
awkward around strangers
he needs to cut them off
have you seen his mouth
the way that he struggles
no words will come out
its empathetic and clear
never good enough
he needs to take his scissors
and cut it off
and have u seen his face
is dark and undiscovered
and thats the way it will stay
disgusting,
ill take that one there
his face is unmarked and brave
have you seen his eyes
their crawling plastic shape
have you imagined removing them
to see what he’s erased
have you seen his awkard lopsided face
(back to him aagain)
**** that ******* face
it makes me sick when i see it
his mirror wont reflect him
even when he cries and begs
have you seen his love
she deserves so much better than this place
its a small walk
to the bridge and off
and if he gave a ****
he would have already walked
its time again to see the face
of everyfucking conquest you
took and disdained
i see their faces
and mine is not the same
i never could have imagined
living life this way
but the sources are not to blame
so tell me that you ******* love me
before you walk away
and i will do the same

Learning how to talk without words
head **** the brick wall of the world.

Expect laughter.
Misunderstanding.
Fear.
Love.

Everything inbetween.

Notice the unknown face smiling behind every flower.

Prepare for War and be at peace with it.
Expect death at any moment.

Hurl the future loss into the waiting room.
Read the Haiku Master.

Be patient.
Practise how to function in hell while just leaving heaven.

*******.

This is awkard.
Look at all this damage.

Head held in both hands.
Sorrow deeper than oceans.

Look past shadows.
Study LIGHT.

Don't tell anyone you have a secret diploma in the haunted land of Darkness.

Remember how to use the eraser.
Blank page.

Start over.
Reset.

Scribble down notes.
Meditate. Yoga.

Transform mountain sides.
Eat solitude.

Starve.
Break down.

Rise up.
Drink enormous cups of fire.

Get blinded.
Reclaim soft halo hung careless on Lucifer horn.

Notice glacier eyes smoke.

The indifference seems impossible even to Antarctica.

Don't let icy silence freeze you in middle of The Bering Sea.

Write home telepathically.
Ask for help.

Burn after reading.

Smash self entitled notions
that we own anything or anyone.

Notice how bitterness tries to clasp tighter
to materialist philosophy.

Run off in different direction.
Reverse on wrong way street.

Let's be burning rubber.
Drive like James Dean.

*******.
I'm Interstellar Rebel.

Give out blankets to people who are cold.

Take my boots.
Jacket.

They were gifted to me by priceless friends.

Take it all.
Please.

Don't give up.
We all can heal.

Remember how to knock.

Sometimes I seem to have forgotten
Of her body here
Beside me
Her
Warm honey *******
Supporting the sky
Her Silken Valleys
Breathing here in this now
Ever present
Always
In the stillness of the moment
I feel her
Amidst the moons soft glow
The peaceful glistening snow
Sparkling in pristine midnight
I've been lost time and again
Forgiven too many times
But here she is
Once more
Accepting my apologies
Breathing with me
Tender hearts grow
When left to stillness
I feel my own grief
As truth settles into my shoulders
The difficult choices
We are left to make
Her silent call is with me,
Her protection
Washing over me
As I lean into her
Learning
Time and time again
How to be with
All the awkard movements
The discomfort
Being human can sometimes bring
Worry seems to be in my heart often these days
But she is here
Listening quietly
I'm sorry
I love you
Please forgive me
For my humanness
But she just listens and accepts
For nothing could be wrong
Unless I'm lying to myself
Am I lying?
Once again
I'm questioning
If this is really meant to be
She just listens
Patiently
A mirror reflecting
As I move and grow
Through this body
These hands
This human
Through my incessant mind
Filled with questions
When my heart knows
The answers
She reminds me
To pause
And return to my breath
So I do
And I see her once again,
I am in awe
Of her spectacular beauty
Finding the wisdom
In her rolling hills
Finding the place
Far beyond my woes
Where Stillness speaks
And the glistening
forest grows.