At first it was the eyes,
You stared too deeply, and saw who I really was.
Next was the conversation,
You let me in, more than you had planned by far, but you were no match for my silver-tongue.
And lastly the kiss,
Our lips touched and it sealed our fate, the energy travelled from our lips, and reverberated throughout our bodies,
I tensed and pulled you closer,
The most terrifying thought on my mind was an end to this moment,
I clung to it in false hope.
Soon I realized it was not I who captured you, but you who captured me. I was a monster in your cage, an animal domesticated for your pleasure.
But as days went by my loyalty and trust for you grew.
Much like the animal who is cared for and loved.
But like puppy who isn't so cute anymore your attentions faded, I was losing you, this reality burned itself into my mind, creating a chaos, worthy of its own war.
And so I fought,
I fought with my anger,
I fought with my self esteem
I fought with my depression, and anxiety, my loneliness, and my sorrow.
I shed tears for your exodus, as I began the familiar routine of picking myself back up, only to put myself back together, yet again.
I lay here at night sometimes, thinking about you, wondering if you think about me.
If sometimes you miss my arms wrapped around you, as much as I do.
If you try to remember the sound of my voice saying I love you as much as I do
Or if you miss the feeling of my lips pressed against yours in a physical declaration that bellows I AM YOURS!!
But then I ask myself, despite the obvious happiness we provided for each other, what good would have come from this.
I guess some things are better left unknown.
-Vaun Niklaus Christiansen.