abolitionism
absenteeism
absolutism
abstractionism
absurdism
acad­emicism
academism
achromatism
acrotism
actinism
activism
adoptian­ism
adoptionism
adventurism
aeroembolism
aestheticism
ageism
agis­m
agnosticism
agrarianism
alarmism
albinism
alcoholism
aldosteron­ism
algorism
alienism
allelism
allelomorphism
allomorphism
alpini­sm
altruism
amateurism
amoralism
anabaptism
anabolism
anachronism­
analphabetism
anarchism
anecdotalism
aneurism
anglicism
animalis­m
animism
anisotropism
antagonism
anthropocentrism
anthropomorphi­sm
anthropopathism
antialcoholism
antiauthoritarianism
antiblacki­sm
anticapitalism
anticlericalism
anticolonialism
anticommerciali­sm
anticommunism
antielitism
antievolutionism
antifascism
antifem­inism
antiferromagnetism
antihumanism
antiliberalism
antimaterial­ism
antimilitarism
antinepotism
antinomianism
antiquarianism
anti­racism
antiradicalism
antirationalism
antirealism
antireductionis­m
antiritualism
antiromanticism
antiterrorism
aphorism
apocalypti­cism
apocalyptism
archaism
asceticism
assimilationism
association­ism
asterism
astigmatism
asynchronism
atavism
atheism
athleticism­
atomism
atonalism
atropism
atticism
autecism
authoritarianism
au­tism
autoecism
autoeroticism
autoerotism
automatism
automorphism
­baalism
baptism
barbarianism
barbarism
behaviorism
biblicism
bibl­iophilism
bicameralism
biculturalism
bidialectalism
bilateralism
­bilingualism
bimetallism
biologism
bioregionalism
bipartisanism
b­ipedalism
biracialism
blackguardism
bogyism
bohemianism
bolshevis­m
boosterism
bossism
botulism
bourbonism
boyarism
bromism
brutism­
bruxism
bureaucratism
cabalism
caciquism
cambism
cannibalism
cap­italism
careerism
casteism
catabolism
catastrophism
catechism
cav­alierism
centralism
centrism
ceremonialism
charism
charlatanism
c­hauvinism
chemism
chemotropism
chimaerism
chimerism
chrism
chroma­ticism
cicisbeism
cinchonism
civicism
civism
classicism
classism
­clericalism
clonism
cockneyism
collaborationism
collectivism
coll­oquialism
colonialism
colorism
commensalism
commercialism
communa­lism
communism
communitarianism
conceptualism
concretism
confessi­onalism
conformism
congregationalism
connubialism
conservatism
co­nstitutionalism
constructivism
consumerism
controversialism
conve­ntionalism
corporatism
corporativism
cosmism
cosmopolitanism
cosm­opolitism
countercriticism
counterculturalism
counterterrorism
cr­eationism
credentialism
cretinism
criticism
cronyism
cryptorchidi­sm
cryptorchism
cubism
cultism
cynicism
czarism
dadaism
dandyism
­defeatism
deism
demonism
denominationalism
despotism
determinism
­deviationism
diabolism
diamagnetism

I look at the sky and everything is clear
I turn to the sun
and am forced to remember
I am human

Squinting and scrunched
the tranquility is gone
My eyes pinch my mind
and again
These days become long

You're the sunlight splintering
through the overcast
Behind my eyes.

i have always kind of disliked the color yellow
i have astigmatism in one eye
and bright things tend to blur together
and give me a headache
no matter the distance
so i didn’t like the color yellow
until i met someone who likes yellow like flowers in sunshine
and has a smile bright enough to give the sun envy
i always maintain
that it takes eight minutes and twenty seconds for sunlight
to warm me and the rest of the planet
but it just takes a look from my brightest friend
to fill everyone around him with warmth
and after a few years of knowing him
(it might be my imagination)
my astigmatism is getting better

I am from incense
From water and candles
I am from the three prostrations
needed to enter the baai san (prayer room).
(cold, smooth, watchful tapestries)
I am from the pecan shells, the tree whose nuts
and leaves left small hills of muddy layers

I'm from ginger to contacts
From Ly to Tran
I'm from the headstrong
and the never-wrong
From mou jung! (useless)
and hou gaawi! (how obedient)
I'm from Nama Amituofo with Cha Lua
and Taking Refuge in the Gurus,
Buddha,
Dharma,
and Sangha

I’m from Sugar Land and Bellaire,
2% milk and Pork Sung sandwiches.
From Dad forcing my brother to stare at green
to fight our genetic astigmatism
to Mom making us chant mantras
with rosary beads on the way to school

In the neighborhood pool,
I pushed away floating junebugs
I am those moments—
Chalk on the cul-de-sac

Im a monster who ate his foster parents like they were carrots,
brain dead since the day I ate lead paint, my teacher ms.garret feed it to me when I was eight, I thought I tasted great so I told her to make me more, she said sure but you have to eat it off the floor,

Till this day I still hate her, my vision was always blurrd so I always called her sir, thats double astigmatism for you, All these years I never knew the sky was blue, Yeah its true im not the best poet nor am I the worst poet, But I am an insane poet who shows it through his reckless antics that are not from this planet, spending his time wisely tryna crame it down your throat, Ok I spoke enough for now, but in an hour or two ill be back with some more poems for you

Don't you ever wonder what people see when they look at you?

And I don't mean the what they think of the way your hair shines in the florescent light.
Or how gorgeous your green eyes look when they are glossy from the sunlight.

But how they physically see you.
Because all eyes see differently right?

What if this whole time everyones eyes were meant to see things in an altered way?
What if I weren't sincerely legally blind,
with an astigmatism of 170 in the left eye and 180 in the right?

Maybe i'm meant to see everything in an altered way.
Maybe God, or Alhi, or Mother Nature or whatever higher power created human life meant for us to each view the world and the people in differently from one another.
For some people don't give me the slightest of a glance,
But i've had some say that their eyes are so attracted to the way my blonde hair glows under florescent lighting
and some who say that whenever i'm standing in direct sunlight my green eyes gleam strikingly.

Some don't see me at all, and a few have seen nothing more beautiful.

So maybe eyesight is just another way that we were meant to be different.
Maybe we ought to stop trying to be so alike.

It might lead us to something truly beautiful.

Inside my body the guilty seeds have rooted through all my veins

and in to my heart

strangling it dead.
                                            
Inside my heart the anger fights to still beat,

no matter the pressure it competes,

its cold because its a zombie heart but it still pumps blood that reaches

my brain.
                                


   Inside my mind is misery,

its been confused so much it yerns to shut off

but somehow it can't,

it won't let me sleep,

too many memories and thoughts eat it
from the inside out

but nevertheless my rotten brain still allows me to have a spirit.
                                    

Inside my soul is death,

the once bright white doves have darkened and can barley lift one wing,

choking on my bodies misfortune,

as I sit so small in this big monstrous world thats poisoning my skin.
        
  My skin is covered in eczema,

my face in blemishes

it coughs on the pollution and cigarette smoke that its too exposed to,

its infected but somehow my eyes still survive on the surface

with it.
                                                        My eyes are worn down

with a astigmatism

from all the rough things I have seen

but they still slow me to see

more.

I'm falling

apart,

I guess you could say that zombies are real,

just not the kind you can see

with your own zombie eyes.

Astigmatism effects many around these Sylvan parts,
Where word's turn to bullets,
False love flies between transpired sparks!!!

Arrogancys lost child mourns mercantile traits,
Wherein fears art nothing but fate ,
Materialist confirmed to promise!!!!!

Whereth art thou mender?
Lover?
Dutchess!!!!!!

Mentality struck down,
Memory foam pounds lit to green bushes!!

Maunder thy jail time feeling's,
Their nights goeth short to cold!!!

Thine melodramas Soo grant I'm watching it all right here!!!

Darling, dear,
So mazed ,
Soo sincere!!!

Mistaketh nothing,
for thy monastery only can play out to thine escort lost end,
Unmonogomous prelude of gratis sphere radiance!!!

Countess of impurities,
Traitor to mall town frivolity!!!!!

Stopping on this spinning orb,
I rest a moment in a limbo room
Waiting to see my eye surgeon.

See him, I must.
I have no options.
The appointment was scheduled
Prior to surgery,
Prior to the removal by suction
Of a lens growing opaque;
Prior to insertion of magical plastic,
Now clipped behind the cornea,
Compensating for myopic astigmatism,
Allowing me to see the whole earth
And this waiting room
Without spectacles,
One eye alive,
One eye yet blind.

I have set upon a two-eyed course
One eye finished,
One eye waiting,
"Stepped in so far,
T'were as tedious to go
Back as to go o'er,"
And though Macbeth
I am not,
I am stepped in
And cannot retrace
The course of two weeks
Past or future.

I am waiting in a room adjacent
A place of temporary fixes...
Arrested momentarily in my flight,
I see a glimpse  
Of life-long fixations,
Not a few delusions....
I am suddenly aware
The sensation
That I am resting here
On a planet that is
Only a waiting room....
That when I leave this room,
I will not have left
The predestined course of life,
That I have not avoided
Coming events
Scheduled just outside,
Set in motion by my choosing.

Wish me away,
Because my darkness can never mix with your sunshine smile,
As I try to play insanity for joy the only thing that changes is the way my face looks,

                         My poker face,
Trying to play a game I'm failing at only gets me as far as hello,
                             Or goodbye

Or I'm sorry,

I'm sorry for my masks,
I only wear them because I can't tell if someone is doing the same to me.
My insanity is my bliss and bliss has become this apology,
I think I've mistaken bliss for ecstasy and I miss more than I hit because mirages are the only thing I actually see,

               Except for maybe your smile,
With a hint of those ocean blue eyes
Like the pacific tide line,
I tend to find myself wishing I wasn't just one of those guys on the side lines
The other side of the rainbow should I say...

I guess that was my fault because I missed out when it was my time to shine so,
Let me start again,

Hi.
I have a tendency of holding onto things that won't hold me back in return;
Like your soft hands,
Cause holding them gives me the hope that maybe the warmth from
Your heart would maybe reach mine
Maybe just maybe,
And that maybe holding on would lead to our fingers being more than just platonically intertwined,
That dancing with you doesn't really mean more than just friendship with me,
I've mistaken my own desperation for you liking me,
I'm sorry
My darkness is blinding
So seeing an angel take form in a blond is sight defining,
Because my far sightedness mixed with my astigmatism so looking I had to walk backwards to see what was happening in front of me again,

Your blinding to me
The Bane of my existence is wishing for things instead of acting
My tideline is a rip current
I don't want to drag you down with me

          So wish me away,
Because my past is passing into my present
And I'm forgetting that the gift of today is the present,
So,
I need to present to you this apology
Here it goes,
I'm
Sorry

What happens now?
Now this poem will wash away like me,
Holding on to you is like leaving the darkness permanently,
See,
I have a tendency of holding onto things that won't hold me back in return,
and I don't,
I don't want to drag you down with me

My vision was flawed
& clarity was restored
astigmatism corrected
giving unobstructed
sight and a healthy outlook
Designer frameless with
compelling style & flair
resting comfortably and
weightless on my bridge.

this wasn't our first time
at the waffle house
sitting across from each other
staring out the window
at fading car lights,
astigmatism placebo running rampant
(or maybe just greasy windows).
  this wasn't our first talk
about you wanting to die
sometime late at night,
we talked for hours
the week before this,
tears, sweat, and trembling lips.
  this was our first meal
we shared together at night
after hopeless thoughts
in late december
before your brother's wedding.
  this wasn't the last time
we'd see each other again,
or order the fully loaded hashbrowns,
or talk about suicide,
that would come in time.
  this is the first time
I've thought about this memory
and have been grateful for your marriage
and how far you've come
from eating garbage at 2am,
from wearing the punisher hoodie I gave you,
from drinking mike's hard lemonade,
from feeling lonely and hopeless
and wanting to end your life.

Relaxing causes astigmatism

Sights of lights

Vision blurs out

And fades away

cure my faith astigmatism.
corruptible corporeal
fumbling in the darkness,
straining to focus on the Light.

Red sky, swallow me.
Injecting eurodance straight into my blood system.
Red god, pity me.
I don’t let them, I’m a wall.
Swallow me, swallow me.
Into the chasm of vermillion.
Red sky, pity me.
I’m too hard to see through now, I don’t give up, I’m a wall.
So let me fall, fall, fall.

Envy, there’s envy and jealousy.
Lust, there’s lust and it’s killing me.
Looks of judgment, there’s embers and they’re burning me.
Lights, astigmatism has me spinning.
Mile markers, numbers increasing.
Heartbeat, it’s speeding - speed, my heart’s beating.
The most electric feeling.
Beating like Jailhouse Rock.
I feel it in my chest.
I need to stop.

Red sky, who are they to downgrade me?
God in the sky, what am I to say?
I have a lot to let out, this life’s unfair and rigged.
Will I make the news if I write the next Devil Glitch?
I could write the longest poem.
Will they love me if I do?
My lover says they’re not in my lane, cause we’re mean but beautiful.
And what am I to say?
Yes, you, red sky, what am I meant to say to you?

7, there’s 7 letters in my last name.
7, there’s seven lanes in this ****** highway.
Heaven, there’s paradise down in Nevada.
And I’m cast out of it.
7, there’s 7 sins they preach about.
7, my lucky number since I was a baby.
Heaven, my boyfriend’s cuter than yours.
And I’m not over it.

Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.
Mean but beautiful.