"aquaman" poems
Gather 'round children
To hear the story of
Obsessionman
Our extremely watchful protector
Bitten by a radioactive trumpeter at a young age
He obtained the super power
Of constantly thinking about the moment he was bitten
His power only grew stronger with time
When people told him his power was ****
His power grew
When people mentioned the toxicity of his radioactive waste
His power grew
And when he encountered his arch nemesis; the trumpeter
Everything grew
You should've seen how fast he flew
He soared quicker than
All the ******** he had once considered important
But when flying at such high velocities
Civilians become interlopers
And interlopers become super villains
Which is no laughing matter
Aquaman went comatose
And Comaman got aqua toes
Sacrifices we were willing to make
But then God intervened
And Obsessionman ***** Him
Which we all agreed was kind of ****** up
Decidedly so...
I mean...
What can you say about your hero when he ***** God?
But that's the beauty of Obsessionman
All he requires from us
Is our disgust, indifference, and hatred
To feed his strength
Until the day he is powerful enough
To fulfill his destiny
And face his arch nemesis
The trumpeter
May 24, 2017
May 24, 2017 at 4:58 PM UTC
I'm not superman
And way too slow to be the flash
I'm definitely not batman
As I don't have Bruce Wayne's cash
Can't swim good enough
To be aquaman
And I'm too chubby by far
To wear the tights of Peter Pan
I can't be the hulk
I just don't look right in green
Ironman? forget it
That suits way too technical a machine
I'm not your typical superhero
You've never heard of me
But should we ever be attacked by bacon
My super power you would see
I can't leap over a tall building
In a single bound
But I can eat bacon non-stop
Pound after pound
You know it's only a matter of time
Bacon will attack sooner or later
But have no fear dear citizens
For I am, BACONATER!
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
Did you just ask me out?
Tryin' to ply me with flowers!
Well nice try, Mister Aquaman,
But get some super powers.
A girl like me can't risk it,
I ain't no downtown baby!
Your devotion and a dollar, sir,
Would buy me a coffee, maybe.
You know it's true, this rump's too fine,
For your sweaty meat hooks there;
It's something else you'll have to grip,
Don't feel the need to share.
Well there's my flight, my throne in the sky;
I look down in safety as the peasants roll by,
I know they'd like to spin a slice of my pie,
But this pie in the sky is priced too **** high!
Back on my island, beach volleyball season.
Which color bikini? Somethin' right for some breezin'
Or just playin' naked, I don't need no **** reason!
My big ******* out for some major crowd pleasin'!
Well that was sure fun, a day in the sun!
I didn't forget you, Mr. Pop Gun;
You would have loved it, this tan honey bun,
But you ain't been swimmin'; you're dry as a nun.
Before I forget you, just thought you should know:
This booty's so fly, it's pressurized, yo
And though upon you this hot wind won't blow,
You can ask "Would she love me?" An emphatic no.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 6:46 AM UTC
When I was small,
I picked out an Aquaman action figure
Out of a bin at the secondhand store
He was missing a leg
Most of the paint worn off at his joints
But he was brand new to me
And what my mother could afford
I made up a story
About how his enemies had hurt him
How he'd defeated them
Became stronger
Was world reknowned for his powers
I loved him and this love fixed his brokenness
One perspective change made all the difference
I am like this.
Not broken, just reimagined.
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 12:29 AM UTC
I'm the invisible man
I'm the ugly duckling
I'm that kid who dresses up like Aquaman
When the rest of my friends dress like the
Justice League
No, it really feels like this
It feels like I got hit by a car
On a back road of some lesser known town
And the driver kept on driving
My body's lying in some
Sagebrush beyond the guardrail,
Twitching
My breathing is becoming shallow,
Broken,
And it's fading quicker than I'd like
I've got crimson blood pouring out my nose
And my head throbs
Like the beating of hearts that would never beat for me
My bones are wrapped around one
Another as if their comfort would bring
Any to my splintered soul
Headlights, taillights
They're all just lights that will never set my pathetic frame aglow
So, I lie in sorrow that I never stood up in the crowd
My tongue tastes the bloodied mess
Of dislodged teeth that fumble in my mouth
I realize that I never had a voice
I couldn't tell God to leave me alone
Because in the end of it all,
I never wanted to be left to myself
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 10:59 AM UTC
There’s Batman & Robin and Joker the fool
Two-face and Penguin, The Riddlers a Tool
Superman, Aquaman, Green Lanterns Light
Cyborg and Nightwing are Ravens delight
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 8:45 PM UTC